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07 February 2006 @ 10:34 pm
PrisonBreak Fanfiction: No Soft Tomorrow  
Title: No Soft Tomorrow
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Lincoln/Michael (Slash)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post-escape, established relationship. Follows directly after Keeping His Distance. This was not the day Lincoln expected to have.
Author’s Notes: Written for the fanfic100 challenge, where I have the slash pairing of Lincoln and Michael. This is for prompt #2, “Middles.”

x-x-x-x-x

The couch was lumpy and damned uncomfortable, and Lincoln was awake half the night struggling to get comfortable and wondering what the hell was going on in Michael’s head.

They’d had a great time yesterday. A late morning, waking to the soft brush of Michael’s hair on his chest. Those slender fingers had drawn reverent paths along his shoulders and face, and they’d made slow, sweet love while the sun climbed in the sky.

Breakfast became brunch when they were finally ready, and they’d eaten on the porch while watching the waves.

Later, they’d worked on the porch railing, replacing the loose spindles and a decaying side rail. It was something to do, and even though they were just renting the house it was satisfying. They might be here for months-- or years-- and these small investments of themselves made the whole experience a little more personal.

Making dinner that night, Lincoln had hindered Michael more than anything. Tracing his hands over Michael’s as he washed lettuce, kissing that elegant neck and slipping his arms around his brother’s waist, Lincoln had enjoyed all of it far more than the meal that eventually followed.

Candlelit luxury had ended the evening in bed, with unhurried exploration of each other’s contours and desires. Curving together afterwards, they had drifted into that state where it was too much to remember where one of them left off and the other began.

All of that, Lincoln thought, had been as perfect a day as he’d had in a lifetime. And this morning, he’d kissed Michael goodbye knowing that they’d spend today apart, but that tomorrow would be another opportunity for something close to that kind of soft, easy communion.

Instead, he’d come home to all hell breaking loose inside of Michael. He never even saw it coming.

He’d gone out near the end of the day, when waiting for Michael had gotten to be too much, and he’d hung out at the bar talking to various people. He never told them much about himself, but just enjoyed the feeling of being able to leave if he wanted to, come and go as he pleased, have contact with people who weren’t looking to do something to him or get something from him. Pleasant conversation was in short supply in the Pen, and Death Row had been so unendingly grim and isolated.

He’d met a commercial fisherman who’d talked about his boat a lot, and a nice woman who temped as an office worker. And then he’d caught sight of the clock, and thought that surely Michael must have come back. So he’d paid up and walked on home, with the evening air drifting across his skin.

His heart had lifted at the sight of the car, and his thoughts were already on soft sheets and pillow talk when he opened the door. But something was off, he could tell by the set of Michael’s shoulders. There was something broken in that posture, and his brother avoided his eyes. Lincoln couldn’t quite get ahold of what was going on until words with edgy sounds started making it through. Then suddenly Michael was talking about dating—or not dating—and stepping back from what they were doing, and there was so much fragility and fear in those beautiful eyes.

He’d found himself reacting more to Michael’s pain than anything, and clearly nothing he could do right then was going to fix it. So he’d agreed to what Michael thought he wanted, and now… here he was.

The couch was stiff under his aching back, and his thoughts were troubled. Secluded off in the bedroom, his brother was hurting and uncertain. But even if he went in there right now, his apologies and reassurances would not be heard.

On opposite sides of the door each was longing for the other.

If either of them slept tonight, it would not be restful.



-------- fin --------

(On to the next part)




 
 
 
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: brothers greythelana on February 8th, 2006 07:14 am (UTC)
He’d gone out near the end of the day, when waiting for Michael had gotten to be too much, and he’d hung out at the bar talking to various people. He never told them much about himself, but just enjoyed the feeling of being able to leave if he wanted to, come and go as he pleased, have contact with people who weren’t looking to do something to him or get something from him. Pleasant conversation was in short supply in the Pen, and Death Row had been so unendingly grim and isolated.

I really love this. It's a really, really cool thought and it makes me yearn for more fic that focuses on the psychological pressures of death row and how those would probably stick around (almost like a phantom pain) even when he's on the outside. *tries to formulate bunny*

Randomly? Seen almostforgiven's drabble on Linc and his father? That's another idea that totally flashed me today.

Also? I have Letting Go and It's Sam opened in my browser. I will totally get around reading them later today.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln by always2nlhalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 07:35 am (UTC)
I really love this. It's a really, really cool thought and it makes me yearn for more fic that focuses on the psychological pressures of death row and how those would probably stick around (almost like a phantom pain) even when he's on the outside.

I know I've touched on these before (I think in "Dreams and Strategies", but maybe not. Might have been in "The Arrangement" somewhere). I think that state of paranoia and vigilance, where you can't have even the most innocent conversation without someone reading an insult into it, would be so exhausting to live with. Worse than being trapped with people who only speak a different language from you, with no words in common and no hope of finding the key.

I haven't read the drabble yet. Must try to get to it! (but going to bed now). There is just too much good stuff to read, and I'm spending all my time writing instead.

Also? I have Letting Go and It's Sam opened in my browser. I will totally get around reading them later today.

Ah, good. I was wondering if you were dodging the whole issue. It's your today already, but the end of my day now (11:30 pm). *Yawn*
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on February 8th, 2006 07:22 am (UTC)
This was a perfect Lincoln's p.o.v. answer to the previous fic! Great beginning and end! So sad. And I think I felt Michael's pain more in this one than in the other one. Somehow, seeing it through Lincoln's eyes and feeling Lincoln's pain and confusion as well really hit hard. Great, great, piece!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 07:38 am (UTC)
This was a perfect Lincoln's p.o.v. answer to the previous fic!

And it's funny, I didn't think I was going to write Lincoln's side of it, but I started to and then got caught up in it. I think it's even more intriguing to see both sides of it and discover that they are not quite meeting in the middle. Like so many relationship woes.

And I think I felt Michael's pain more in this one than in the other one. Somehow, seeing it through Lincoln's eyes and feeling Lincoln's pain and confusion as well really hit hard. Great, great, piece!

Ooh, I love this comment! I get very happy when someone says I've also voiced the character whose POV is not the one in a particular story.

More to come in the Arc-O-Angst! ;)
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: brothers greythelana on February 8th, 2006 07:55 am (UTC)
I can't get over how nice/respectful her Lincoln is (even with the kind of things he does). I just got way too used to fanon!Linc so I half expect him to say fuck at least a bunch of times a fic.

*snuggles halfshell's borderline poetic!Linc*

*ponders of good ways to start a fanon!Linc discussion and what parts of canon they are inspired by*
mooyoomooyoo on February 8th, 2006 08:11 am (UTC)
Heh, my Linc always swears like a drunken sailor. No idea why. And my Michael is always much more docile and rarely curses, and again I have no idea why.
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: angry linc had it comingthelana on February 8th, 2006 08:16 am (UTC)
Heh, my Linc always swears like a drunken sailor. No idea why.

I think we just secretly like him that way. ;)

It's odd. Because Linc can certainly be vocally agressive when pissy, in the confines of network television of course ("and why does the pervert thing he's in?"), but he can also be pretty docile at times (though it's hard to say how much of this is due to the depressiveness of three years on Death Row).
mooyoomooyoo on February 8th, 2006 08:24 am (UTC)
I always kind of wonder if this show was on cable if there'd be more curses thrown around, which is why I tend to have them curse a bit more - because I tend to figure, at least in Lincoln's case, that there'd be a bit more vulgarity if they were allowed to do it.

I tend to agree with the idea that some of his quietness probably comes from being locked up for three years and being so close to his very possible death. He strikes me, from the little we know of his life before prison, as a very restless guy, aggressive in general (physically and vocally), someone temperamental who could get angry and let loose easily. Which in turn leads me to think that he's never had the cleanest mouth in the world.
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: angry linc had it comingthelana on February 8th, 2006 08:38 am (UTC)
Yeah, all those prior for hitting people and destroying property suggest a temper (unless he was beating people up for living).

Not to mention that we have seen him react to stress with agression. Plus I tend to think that the fact that he dropped out of school would suggest that he normally wouldn't be too articulate in his word choice (even if he was raised by their mom not to curse as much).

As for the writers, they totally gave C-Note the dirtiest mind/mouth ;D Some of the leaked scripts are like way worse than what actually ends up screen. But they have to find smart ways around the cursing (for example with Abruzzi, C-Note, T-Bag) which is why all these characters come off as way more intellectual than actual cons would probably be, because they need to give them intellectual ways to avoid direct cursing. Maybe Lincoln doesn't/can't curse as directly because they can't/don't want to make him come as too smart/wordy.
mooyoomooyoo on February 8th, 2006 08:27 am (UTC)
Although it also occurs to me that I tend to curse quite a bit myself, and my writing Linc that way could also easily be me projecting myself onto the character.
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on February 8th, 2006 08:32 am (UTC)
I think for me one aspect is that some of my fave Linc moments are when he's pissy "You. Shut up!". So I tend to notice those moments more.

But I do like tender Linc (for example with LJ or in the Veronica flashback) as well. It's hard to choose.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln by always2nlhalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 05:49 pm (UTC)
I just got way too used to fanon!Linc so I half expect him to say fuck at least a bunch of times a fic.

He does say it a lot in "The Arrangement" and "Always" series. That word pretty much sums up his knee-jerk approach to frustration.

But... although he's not always so swift on the uptake... I don't think he's a total ass. Sometimes, he's just not aware or not thinking.
mooyoomooyoo on February 8th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC)
This is the first one of this series that I've commented on (sorry, I'm terribly lazy, but I've read and enjoyed and will eventually go leave feedback for the first two parts), but I'm really liking this series. I like how Michael's fears are pretty legitimate (as they've never really defined their relationship and Michael's afraid that Linc may be missing out on something he actually wants), but Linc seems to absolutely not feel that way at all and just wants to be with Michael. And of course can't tell him that.

And his just feeling confused about how rapidly everything changed and not really understanding what's going on, but trying to respect what Michael wants - sad and well done. *hoping they work things out*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Linc/Michael by xenasoulhalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you're enjoying this so much. I'm having fun writing it, obviously :)

but Linc seems to absolutely not feel that way at all and just wants to be with Michael. And of course can't tell him that.

Exactly. Because it's too soon, and it wouldn't be convincing. He might be ready to say it, but Michael isn't ready to hear it. Relationships carry so many complications...

And his just feeling confused about how rapidly everything changed and not really understanding what's going on, but trying to respect what Michael wants - sad and well done.

Thank you! As I said, I didn't think I was going to write Lincoln's POV of the previous story, but once I started I really got into the idea of it being somehow a little different from what Michael thought-- and Lincoln feeling blindsided by Michael's behavior.
Diellepseudoartiste on February 8th, 2006 02:11 pm (UTC)
Yay! Linc!POV, I always love hearing both sides. Am still stubbornly on Michael's though *pouts all stubborn-like* Loved the ending of course, it's so cool to go out on a single profound line.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 06:00 pm (UTC)
Yay! Linc!POV, I always love hearing both sides.

They were more different than expected, weren't they?

Am still stubbornly on Michael's though
Can't help but be, since he's the one that needs this more and feels more. :-(
jamiepbfan on February 8th, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
Sweet...lincoln POV :) :) great story! You can almost feel how much pain Lincoln is going through..not including the lumpy couch. Continue soon!! LOVED IT!!!!!!!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slash by tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 8th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it :)

Sometimes I feel that living with either of these men would be a big, fat mystery a lot of the time. One overthinks, and chases off after unexpected tangets, and the other sometimes just goes all dumbAss.
jamiepbfan on February 8th, 2006 09:07 pm (UTC)
Yeah..living with them would sure be one hell of an experience. I go all dumbAss quite a bit..but i keep life interesting :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln by always2nlhalfshellvenus on February 9th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
"On opposite sides of the door each was longing for the other."

Glad you liked this! I was thinking that it's not so good as a standalone, because it's clearly a companion piece to the other one.

But it's a nice part of the larger arc, and it's so interesting and different to see that same scene from Lincon's side.

Plus... why has no-one mentioned the flashes of implied porny parts? Hmmm.
tyrical: PB_Alazysod_L_sorrowtyrical on February 12th, 2006 08:18 pm (UTC)
Confusion is so good on Lincoln. Too bad it causes the worst of misunderstandings. Now if it was up to me I'd kick down the bedroom door and shake some sense into my lover and re-assure him of who and what I wanted.

But then again that's me and where would all this lovely angst be off too if we cleared up this situation?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Lincoln by always2nlhalfshellvenus on February 12th, 2006 09:04 pm (UTC)
Now if it was up to me I'd kick down the bedroom door and shake some sense into my lover and re-assure him of who and what I wanted.

He is at least smart enough to realize that if he did that, Michael still wouldn't be ready to hear him. It's too soon, and Michael would never believe that Lincoln had thought it over in that time.

I do enjoy writing Lincoln when he's confused, though. Especially when I can show that he is just not seeing the situation the same way Michael is, and that his confusion may be valid.
B: woobiestrifechaos on April 11th, 2006 05:50 am (UTC)
Wow, they're pain is just so easily brought across in your work. I feel bad for Lincoln, who thinking everything was going fine only to find out that Michael is having a bit of a break down. It's like the world turning upside down on him.

Beautifully skilled work, I'm always pleasantly awed by how you spin your tales. I'm enthralled. Thank you for sharing. *glomps* *waves*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: DominicSexyhalfshellvenus on April 11th, 2006 05:05 pm (UTC)
I feel bad for Lincoln, who thinking everything was going fine only to find out that Michael is having a bit of a break down. It's like the world turning upside down on him.
This was kind of a fun twist to write actually. Michael was so certain he knew what was going on, and Lincoln's happily just enjoying his freedom and then... jolt. But at the same time, his past behavior gives Michael every reason to believe what he does, and part of Lincoln has to know that.

That kind of ups the angst unexpectedly! :D