The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors

Name Games, or Formulas That Don't Always come Out Right

Gacked from clex_monkie89, I'm going to demonstrate how badly the results from these formulas can be sometimes. In fact, they're so bad that I wound up making up some of my own :-0

So while I wait for reviews of my lates fics *Big Puppy Eyes*, I'll start off with the first one:

# YOUR PORN STAR NAME (Name of your first pet + Street you live on):
Grana Ogle

So very NOT useable... I'd be lucky to turn tricks under the bleachers with a name like that.

# YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (Name of your favorite snack food + Grandfather's first name):
Chocolate John.

You know, that almost sounds obscene. It's more like a PIMP name than a movie-star name. Maybe I only play pimp parts in the movies.

# YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME (First word you see on your left + Favorite restaurant):
Cherokee On The Borders. Ummm... I think I cracked the formula for "Western Movie Titles" instead.

# EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS (Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Cinnamon London

OK, I think THAT might be the Porn-Star name instead. Man, these suck.

# "FLY Boy" ALIAS (a la J. Lo) (First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
K. Kim.

I have no thoughts on this one except that it's lame. No in-flight hours in my future :-(

# ICON ALIAS (Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen):
Chocolate Soda

Since they used to actually make this... Whatevia-ness.

# DETECTIVE ALIAS (Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Went to High School):
Kitten Sheldon.

Jeez! Porn-Star name again! I'll never get a real job.

# BARFLY ALIAS (Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Chocolate Kahlua

Yes, all my snacks are chocolate. What's your point? There's no problem here, honest. Just keep walking.

# SOAP OPERA ALIAS (Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived):
Edna Ogle.

Christ on a Crutch. Once again--- no work for me.

# ROCK STAR ALIAS (Favorite Candy + Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Cordial Cherry Bush

*Groan* Score another point in the Porn-Star name column! I admit, it's hard for me to pick a favorite musician. I tend to like bands. Or classical music. I could do "Perlman" or "Led Zeppelin" but... Cordial Cherry Perlman is back to Porn-Star again. Cordial Cherry Led Zeppelin... I think I hit either the Barfly Alias, or Alcoholic Drink Named After Me.

#PRISON BITCH NAME (for all my PrisonBreak f-list folks): Couldn't find any formulas, because everyone's going places like this.
Fruit Loop

Well... I think I'll be spending a lot of time hiding under my bunk then.

All righty, then. I'm going to make up some of my own now, because what the hell? Could they BE any worse than how these turned out? Here goes:

# BOUNTY HUNTER NAME (Your State/Province + First Gun Manufacturer or Type You Think Of):
California Sixgun

OK. Now we're talking.

# PROFESSIONAL BOXER NAME (Type of Metal + Your First Name (Brother's/Dad's if you're female)):
Iron Mike

Oh, yeah. Bring it on. You wanna step in the ring with me? Come on... Come on... Let's go-- right now!

# CAFETERIA LADY NAME (Favorite Flower + Your Grandmother's First Name):
Rose Mary

Such a wonderfully bad pun, too.

# FORTUNETELLER NAME (Favorite City + Favorite Color):
Portland Blue

Hmmm. Well, I guess I could work with that.

Hope you enjoyed this. Try it out yourselves, including my new ones!

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