You know, whenever I read your fics, there are two things that I am guaranteed: a) rib-aching giggles, and/or b) my heart is torn and left bloody on the floor.

This one brings about the latter without the former.

Oh, Dean ...

Oh, Sam ...

This one brings about the latter without the former.
Sorry about that-- this one is pure angst, the torture of having to live with knowing what's coming, and no idea of how to make it better.

S3 hasn't been a lot of laughs at all. :( I mean, I did get a few little snippets of comedy out of the year, but what a dark, dark direction canon took.

Hope you liked it all the same.

Early S3 Dean was a bit annoying, but knowing how things end, I just want him to have more, more, more. If that extra romp with brunette number 14 eased the pain for even a fraction of a second, I'd be happy. But it didn't really help at all. Oh, Dean.

Nice job.

Early S3 Dean was a bit annoying
He drove me nuts, but this helped me see a little bit of why he acted that way. He was desperate, and he couldn't think of a better way to cope with any of it, even if he was killing Sam by inches right along with himself.

If that extra romp with brunette number 14 eased the pain for even a fraction of a second, I'd be happy. But it didn't really help at all.
That's the worst part, isn't it? All those things are transitory, and they can't cure the ache of the soul even for long. *fervently hopes S4 is kinder*

Thanks for reading and commenting - I appreciate it!

Aww! You just broke me.
Dean's pretty much accepted his fate.
But it Sam that reminds him every day what he's going to lose and why.
Now if that ain't a bitch. I don't know what is.

But it Sam that reminds him every day what he's going to lose and why.
I like this way of looking at it- Dean's sacrifice was for Sam, but having Sam there creates its own demands on Dean, both for what he can't give Sam right now and what he'll do to Sam by leaving him.

And whether selfish or self-punishing, Dean would still choose all of it again. That's the real kicker. :(

i'm catching up from missing a week and man, it had to be an angsty fic, didn't it.... poor dean. this feels like him. i especially like "Dean thrives on the denial that makes surviving his timeline possible" - i think that's one of the reasons he survived and thrived in the life for so long - he just pushed away anything that would've led to self-reflection and made the job harder. he would've given up a long time ago otherwise.

it had to be an angsty fic, didn't it...
I was hoping you'd find this one, now that you're back. :)

he just pushed away anything that would've led to self-reflection and made the job harder. he would've given up a long time ago otherwise.
Oh, I agree. Even given the importance of what they do, I think it must have been a joyless existence growing up with their father, and there's no real external validation from the rest of the world that it's worth it.

Funny how that helps when faced with adversity that you just can't escape. *sigh*

Edited at 2008-06-28 07:05 pm (UTC)

Oh GOD!!! *cries*

Beautiful, as always, love...

*hugs you*

Season Three was so hard, beginning to end. Watching Dean become this stranger, who pushed Sam away when they needed to become closer, was part of what inspired this story. Seen through the eyes of desperation and the need to deny, that behavior makes more sense.

But it's as joyless and desolate as ever. *cries*