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25 January 2006 @ 11:22 pm
Supernatural100 "Missing Scenes" Drabble Challenge: Genfic Drabbles  
Title: Ill At Ease
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Sam and Dean (Gen, Drabbles, Angsty)
Rating: G
Author’s Notes: These were for the supernatural100 challenge on “Missing Scenes.” After I’d written several, I realized that some are for missing points of view instead. But whatever fires the muse… I’ll take.

x-x-x-x-x


Inside (Scarecrow)

It has slumbered through the long cycle of moons, and now a wakening warmth approaches. It is not the sunlight its tree-self feeds on. It is of the beings that fuel its spirit.

The touch on its blackened skin carries strength and fierceness and sorrow, and it remembers and longs to feed. The voice speaks leaf rustles, the language of blood, and those sounds mark the Hosts that it conquers.

It strains, but its dormant form cannot respond. It must wait for this moon to grow.

Almost. The thought sludges like its tree-self’s sap through wood.

It will be soon.



Mother (Home, Dean)

She never saw him, though his heart was waiting.

She walked past him, saying his name…but her eyes were only for Sam. There were words and flames that the child inside him watched— then nothing and freedom at once. He hugged Sam, so safe and solid. Then they stumbled outside and to the car, polite words all mixing together in his ears as he waited to just be gone.

He is driving to anywhere else now, so tired he is dying for a motel. His memories are full of fire again… but Sam sleeps like he’s in his mother’s arms.



Disquiet (Asylum, Dean)

His chest stings under damaged flesh, the bones aching and sure to bruise. He can still see the look on Sam’s face as he pulled the trigger. Now, despite Sam’s gentle hands, he worries that the anger was real.

Later, drugged against discomfort, he does not feel the soft kiss laid on his forehead. He does not hear the whispered words of regret. And he cannot see the half-formed hope that apologies rejected in daylight may come home to rest in the dark.

If they take hold in his heart, he’ll never know it. He’ll forgive, but not know why.



Conviction (Faith, Sam)

Sam cannot hear what they are saying, but Dean’s eyes are dark and reddened when she leaves. Sam knows the guilt that pains him… but he would not change a thing.

He steps inside— no words, no staring— and lays an arm along Dean’s back. When Dean tries to move away, he pulls him closer with unrelenting strength. He’s not looking for tears or confessions, just a chance to slow the pain.

Rubbing Dean’s shoulders, he holds back the words he knows will only make Dean angry. You were worth it. Don’t ever doubt it.

I’d do it all again.



---------- fin ----------


 
 
 
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on January 26th, 2006 07:40 am (UTC)
Absolutely beautiful.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 07:46 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked them :-D

I love pandas almost as much as I love penguins. It's pathetic.</i>
(no subject) - acostilow on January 26th, 2006 08:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
mooyoomooyoo on January 26th, 2006 09:22 am (UTC)
Mmmm... *loves*

Angsty Dean is my favorite thing ever, and Mother especially cut me with …but her eyes were only for Sam.

And loved the end of the last one,
Rubbing Dean’s shoulders, he holds back the words he knows will only make Dean angry. You were worth it. Don’t ever doubt it.

I’d do it all again.


Perfect.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)
Angsty Dean is my favorite thing ever,

Did you read Lost? It has so few comments, but it's Dean angst all the way. Love me some Dean angst...

and Mother especially cut me with …but her eyes were only for Sam.

That hurt so much to watch as part of that Episode. Dean is the one who remembers her and can truly miss her... and it was as if he wasn't even there.

And loved the end of the last one,

The ending we should have had. Just needed a couple of extra minutes in that scene. :-D
(no subject) - mooyoo on January 26th, 2006 06:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 06:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on January 26th, 2006 06:45 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 08:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mooyoo on January 26th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ezgal on January 27th, 2006 03:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 07:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ezgal on January 27th, 2006 10:00 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
she said mysteriouslyresounding_echo on January 26th, 2006 09:31 am (UTC)
They are all beautiful, but Mother in particular. Your first two sentences are absolutely brilliant. It always irked me, Mom-Winchester's apparent lack of interest in Dean during that scene. I'm glad you wrote about it--gave Dean some justice.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC)
Thanks, jules!

I just could not believe that she barely acknowledged him. It was so unfair, so painful to watch. And he seemed so stunned in that scene, which makes all kinds of sense.

He deserved to have someone notice, even if it's just the viewers. :-(
(no subject) - resounding_echo on January 26th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 26th, 2006 05:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: broken nick ljthelana on January 26th, 2006 01:42 pm (UTC)
You have no idea how much I love it that you did a Scarecrow POV :)

And wow, these are wonderful, especially the Dean POVs, especially the last sentences.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:13 pm (UTC)
You have no idea how much I love it that you did a Scarecrow POV :)

That was the first one that came to me. Were you creeped out at all? That scene, where Dean got up on the ladder next to it.. *shivers* The VIEWERS knew that the Scarecrow could become animated, even if Dean didn't, and the thought that it was in there, and aware of him... just really stuck with me.

So glad you liked the rest :-) *whistles* I'm working on some slash drabbles for this challenge too, which I'll post when they're done.
(no subject) - thelana on January 26th, 2006 05:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 26th, 2006 05:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 06:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 06:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 07:10 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 05:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 08:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 08:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 08:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 08:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 09:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 29th, 2006 02:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 29th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 29th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 29th, 2006 02:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 03:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 29th, 2006 03:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 08:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 27th, 2006 07:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 26th, 2006 06:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 06:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on January 26th, 2006 06:28 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Sylph: SN_staresylph_ironlight on January 26th, 2006 02:16 pm (UTC)
Lovely, hun.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:14 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much :-D

I still can't get over this Jared icon you have, because it looks so much like Keanu Reaves to me.

Sexy as all get-out, either way ;)
(no subject) - sylph_ironlight on January 31st, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
spikers91 on January 26th, 2006 03:09 pm (UTC)
Wow. Really good. I especially liked Home, and Faith. Really touching.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) There was a lot of sadness in both, and even with the extra "time" it got unscreen (compared to some of the angst), it still felt glossed-over.

And "Faith," with Dean so broken at the end... *heartbreak*.
(no subject) - spikers91 on January 26th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
ignipes on January 26th, 2006 03:29 pm (UTC)
These are lovely. Such sad, quiet moments. Well, and the Scarecrow, which is a creepy, quiet moment, but still lovely. Great job!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:27 pm (UTC)
and the Scarecrow, which is a creepy, quiet moment, but still lovely.

Squee! I like hearing that the Scarecrow POV was a little disturbing, for what it wanted to do but couldn't.

Very glad you liked this. Now if I could only figure out why no-one's reading Letting Go. I re-labeled it, because I wonder if people thought it was hetFic? Never!

Are those penguins for me? They're awfully cute. :)
IDK, my BFF Jared Leto?gekizetsu on January 26th, 2006 04:07 pm (UTC)
>>If they take hold in his heart, he’ll never know it. He’ll forgive, but not know why. >>

Ah, I read that over and over. Very sweet and lyrical.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 26th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
Ah, I read that over and over. Very sweet and lyrical.

Music to my ears :)

I don't think Dean leaves Sam very many options for smoothing things over or ending misunderstandings. I can so easily see Sam resorting to something like this-- hoping that Dean's subconscience can hear what his waking mind tends to stop dead in its tracks.

ezgal on January 27th, 2006 03:53 am (UTC)
OH.

Mother and Disquiet.

OH.
OH.

pretty
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 27th, 2006 06:33 am (UTC)
Thank you, ezgal.

And you would know from pretty :-D
(no subject) - ezgal on January 27th, 2006 10:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:21 am (UTC)
I actually read these a few days ago...I'm not sure why I didn't comment, must have been in a hurry or something.

;) I'll comment now!

I love all of these, especially conviction. Perfect ending! I think you pegged exactly how they were both feeling!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on January 29th, 2006 02:53 am (UTC)
So glad you liked them!

Wish we'd had that ending to "Faith" for real. I realize that Dean's faith was a big part of that episode, and intriguing for his characer.

But Sam almost losing him, and making a choice that Dean didn't like? We needed a little more attention to the love behind the choice, not just the shouting about whether Dean approved.
(no subject) - lissa_bear on January 29th, 2006 02:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
la_folle_allure on February 6th, 2006 03:52 pm (UTC)
Mother KELLED ME! Omg, I felt my heart racing and just shattering *reaches out to huggle Dean*

*gives him a pretty Wentworth to play with*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slash: icon by Nevcolleilhalfshellvenus on February 6th, 2006 04:40 pm (UTC)
Mother KELLED ME!

That part of the episode killed me, and that it was just glossed over (other than by Jensen's acting) as if it wasn't that important :-0 Heartbreak!

Pretty Wentworth, Pretty Sam. Whatever makes him and you happy :-)

But did you like the Scarecrow POV? I could not help writing that one. So spooky in the episode itself.
(no subject) - la_folle_allure on February 6th, 2006 05:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tyrical: SPN_Taillypo_SD_togethertyrical on February 10th, 2006 06:03 pm (UTC)
It never ceases to amaze me how much power you can put into a few words.

Each scene vivid in its imagery.
Each drabble is heavy with feeling.

Inside - The un-naturalness of the words makes it all the more powerful because you realizes unconsciously that what ever it is its not quite human although it has human characteristics.

Mother - I always feel like parents have favorites even though they are not supposed to. Here I feel like Dean realizes this and it hurts so much because he loved her too. He actually remembers her. Yet when the chance came to be known to be seen. He wasn't yet his father sees him so clearly.

Disquiet - See that's the problem with demons, they rarely have to lie out right. All the material they need is right their inside you.

Conviction - Yes! Dammit! I do love you that much.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on February 10th, 2006 06:42 pm (UTC)
Inside - The un-naturalness of the words makes it all the more powerful because you realizes unconsciously that what ever it is its not quite human although it has human characteristics.
For this one, which I just had to write for some reason, I settled on a combination of tree-like and spirit-like perception. I.e., the tree can feel pressure and light, and perhaps detect noise. And the spirit can sense what's inside of Dean when he touches it. But it cannot see or speak. And yet, its longing to get at him is very intense, if only it could move.

Mother-- I agree with you about favorites, or at least with parents aligning in different ways with one child more than another. All the same, I cannot understand his mother brushing past him like that. It was so painful to watch that.

Disquiet - See that's the problem with demons, they rarely have to lie out right. All the material they need is right their inside you.
Same with the Shapeshifter-- all of that was ready inside Dean. It was less intense and negative, but the base feeling was there. And Sam's resentment in "Asylum" was and is there-- just monstrously refocused into homicidal rage. But Dean can never know exactly how much was Sam and how much was exaggerated. And once your brother has tried to kill you, can you ever stop wondering?

So glad you enjoyed these!

Amymellaithwen on March 5th, 2006 10:44 am (UTC)
Really liked it :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Gen: icon by Tinamishihalfshellvenus on March 5th, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much :D
purpleposiepurpleposi on April 23rd, 2006 09:31 am (UTC)
Rubbing Dean’s shoulders, he holds back the words he knows will only make Dean angry. You were worth it. Don’t ever doubt it.

Oh, I loved this. Just perfect, and it broke my heart.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 23rd, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. There was too much left unsaid in that episode, that could have at least been shown and unsaid-- and still was just left out entirely.
(no subject) - purpleposi on April 24th, 2006 08:43 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on May 31st, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Those last two are so much about the best and worst parts of Dean and Sam's relationship. In the last he's loved even though he doesn't think he's worth it. And in the previous one, he's loved even when he refuses to let himself listen.

Both of those are so very, frustratingly Dean to me. And yet, I still ache for him.

So glad you liked these! The new comm gives me a chance to go through my older stories and separate out the ones that really drive off of the canon. The two drabbles sets for exactly "missing scenes" were perfect. :)