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05 April 2008 @ 05:45 pm
Confusion and Random Disappointments  
I sent my husband to a memorial service two weeks early today, still thrown by the news, I think. Thanks to all of you who helped cheer me up on Thursday when I really needed it. We'd gotten a call from our contractor's wife that morning telling us that he'd had a heart attack on Monday and died. He was in his early 50s, in good health, and very devoted to his family. One of his daughters is around 19 and the other around 12, and this must be the most terrible shock to them. I couldn't stop thinking about the unfairness of it all, when a good man like him goes far too soon. *sigh*

Yesterday I got a rejection letter for an anthology in which I'd hoped for one of my stories to be included. That was a big disappointment, and I won't be able to bring myself to look at the details for awhile yet because I have no doubt they'll kick off a bout of self-loathing and/or frustration that I could really do without. :(

I got lots done for work yesterday (finally!), cut Christopher's hair today (argh), but ate into my running time by spending too long out in the yard. It started as "Need to put anti-aphid crud on the rest of the roses" and became "Good lord, that bermuda grass is taking over one of the flower beds!" Our lawns are all bermuda grass, which is very hardy and green but once it escapes the lawn's borders is evohl. And tenacious.

Just got back from an errand, and on the way I realized I was driving on one of the neighborhood streets that I never use for anything except for running. Hence, the discombobulation: "Which side of the road is it I'm supposed to be driving on?" I have to run on the left side to keep my slightly longer leg on the downhill slope (we don't have sidewalks). One time, I came home on a street I regularly run on but don't drive on, and noticed only after several blocks that I was driving on the wrong side of the street! Ack! Now I live in fear of that happening again. :0

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iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on April 6th, 2008 01:09 am (UTC)
*hugs* on the sad news about your contractor, as well as the anthology rejection. I'm sorry you had a rough week.

*hugs again*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
Thank you. *hugs back* The rejection is trivial compared to the other, though it bothers me deeply.

Our poor contractor... we knew him for at least twelve years, and he was a very lively person as well as talented, honest, and with great follow-through. The perfect contractor, obviously, but I think an even better father and husband. It just doesn't seem real, because he was too young and because his family needed him and because the world in general needs more people like him. *sigh*
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on April 6th, 2008 01:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 01:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on April 6th, 2008 01:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
jellicle on April 6th, 2008 01:12 am (UTC)
Hugs, honey, I know it's little but it's from the heart.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 01:14 am (UTC)
Thank you, jellicle. It helps, definitely.

I feel so bad for the man's poor family, and his wife having to decipher the state of his business at a time like this. *sigh*
PamalaX: Alexcrushedpamalax on April 6th, 2008 01:15 am (UTC)
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I totally missed it - I did a lot of sleeping this last week - if you said it earlier in the week. How very sad.

You, no of us, just never know do you?

I'll keep his family in my thoughts.

Take care of you!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)
if you said it earlier in the week.
I didn't dare mention it. I was afraid of bringing my whole f-list down, but even more afraid of crying at work. I cried all the way TO work and most of the way home, and it was that kind of day. It's getting to me again now, and we can't let the kids know (Christopher is in a panic attack phase over his parents/himself dying, and this would only fuel the fire).

I'll keep his family in my thoughts.
Thank you. *hugs* I'm going to have to guess whether we owe him money and send his wife something, because I can't see how she's going to straighten out everything he was in the middle of. *sigh*
(no subject) - pamalax on April 6th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 03:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - pamalax on April 6th, 2008 03:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 07:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
Kimberleylampshade_days on April 6th, 2008 01:21 am (UTC)
Yikes. Early 50s - so young. Sorry to hear about your rough past few days. *hugs* :(
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 01:26 am (UTC)
Young and in good physical health. He'd had some back luck in the last three years with falling off a ladder (broken foot) and then breaking his wrist.

So when his wife said that he'd had a heart attack, my first thought was that he'd be out of commission for awhile. I almost didn't hear the next words, "He died." I wouldn't have expected them in a million years.

Such a great guy. :(
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)
Me too, and thank you. The one disappointment is very discouraging and personal; the other is really devastating for his family. It's just such a jolt, and happening far too soon.
girlguidejonesgirlguidejones on April 6th, 2008 01:32 am (UTC)
How terrible. I had something similar happen to me with a co-worker -my own age!- this winter. I can empathize completely.

hugs
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
I had something similar happen to me with a co-worker -my own age!- this winter.
You just don't expect it, at all, especially when the person seems far too young for it to happen.

Such a wonderful man, and you know that it's got to be destroying his family losing him like this. *sigh*
Deadbeat Nymph: dean stubble softdeadbeat_nymph on April 6th, 2008 01:57 am (UTC)
Wow, I do not know how I missed that on Thursday!

I'm sorry that you're having such an awful time. I really hope that things start going right for you. You deserve so much happiness.

*hugs you tight*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC)
Wow, I do not know how I missed that on Thursday!
I didn't mention it directly, only that I needed cheering up. I was in a funk all day at work, I'd cried all the way to work, and I couldn't stop thinking about his family. But even typing the words out explicitly would have set me off again.

Everytime I look around the house, I see something that he had a hand in, often small things that other people would not have bothered to take on as work. I can't imagine how his wife's managing to cope with losing him so suddenly, especially when one of their daughters is only 12. :(
(no subject) - deadbeat_nymph on April 6th, 2008 06:48 pm (UTC) (Expand)
tyricaltyrical on April 6th, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
Sending you hugs, protective garden gnomes, and some renewed clarity. That driving thing scared the piss out of me. I want you to be safe.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
That driving thing scared the piss out of me.
After that first time, it's made me conscious of needing to really pay attention to whether I'm doing it again. There are times when I shrug off the lack of a good left/right distinction (my Dad and 3 of us kids are plagued with it). But at other times, I realize it can be crucial.

Thanks so much for the hugs. What a week-- all the worse knowing that it isn't over for the man's family, and never will be.

The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on April 6th, 2008 08:14 am (UTC)
Awww, sending you hugs :) Was it a fannish anthology or a non-fannish one?

Just got back from an errand, and on the way I realized I was driving on one of the neighborhood streets that I never use for anything except for running. Hence, the discombobulation: "Which side of the road is it I'm supposed to be driving on?"

LOL that sounds very familiar. I walk/use public transport all the time and it's a nightmare when I have to coach a driver to my place. It's always, no, what, I had no idea that this is a one way. Oops, sorry, I never realized that car people couldn't turn right here.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
Was it a fannish anthology or a non-fannish one?
Fannish. I haven't been writing much poetry in the last several years, and haven't sent anything off to a poetry anthology in over 15 years. :0

walk/use public transport all the time and it's a nightmare when I have to coach a driver to my place. It's always, no, what, I had no idea that this is a one way. Oops, sorry, I never realized that car people couldn't turn right here.
Ha, I can see this entirely! You know, I ran into that once in trying to get to a parkway access where I bicycle all the time. I was going to run there for a change (long story) and had the car, and when I approached the place I usually turn left I realized that "Ulp! There's no turn lane here when you're in a car!"

And one-way streets are something you'll never notice on foot. Sidewalks go both ways!
Jas Massonjasmasson on April 6th, 2008 10:17 am (UTC)
So sorry to hear your bad news. Thinking of you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Jas. Gosh, even posting this yesterday brought all those feelings back. Which I then had to hide from the kids-- they knew and liked the contractor a lot. Everyone did.
cindy: chocolate mousetsuki_no_bara on April 6th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC)
oh man, i'm sorry about your contractor. *hugs* his poor wife and kids. :(

and i'm sorry about the anthology, too. a plague on them! hmph.

the "what side of the road am i supposed to be on??" driving-vs-running thing made me giggle, tho. hee. (drive down the middle!)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
*hugs* his poor wife and kids. :(
Is still so hard to believe that happened. How could it have happened? *sigh*

the "what side of the road am i supposed to be on??" driving-vs-running thing made me giggle, tho. hee. (drive down the middle!)
It was quite a shock the first time when I discovered I was driving on the left. Thank goodness that's a back street that isn't used that often! But I tell you, auto-pilot is a dangerous thing. :0
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 6th, 2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Claire. *hugs you back*