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22 January 2008 @ 01:50 pm
Prison Break vs. The Chicken  
The Supernatural post inspired thelana to chime in for Prison Break, and then I had to add some more. Brought forward to you here from the comments!

~~~~ thelana's chickens ~~~~

Lincoln: The chicken punched the road and then headbutted every car that came across it. Then it bought itself a keychain.

Michael: In order to cross the road the chicken made lengthy calculations based on many unrealsitic and obtuse coincidences. Then it dug a tunnel. In the end it seduced a random passer by to carry it across.

~~~~ halfshell's additional chickens ~~~~

Michael: No-one can ever really understand how lonely it is on this side of the road, or why the chicken stays there and how much it sacrificed.

Lincoln: The road was doing fine before the chicken crossed it, and now there's all this traffic and the road needs a f***ing drink already.

Veronica: I believed in the chicken and did what I could, until I wound up at the slaughterhouse.

Westmoreland: I was never that chicken, but I know where the chicken had its nest...

Pope: I can redeem that chicken, and help it see the futility of always wanting to cross new roads when all that it needs can be found within itself.

Sara: I always find myself drawn to the bad chickens, and then I follow them across the road to self-destruction.

Sofia: I thought I knew the chicken, but now I see that it has already crossed to the other side of our road and left me behind. I need a new chicken...

Bellick: The chicken wanted pants that could only be found on the other side of the road. Special Forces pants, in fact. Let me tell you about the time...

T-Bag: There're chickens and there're ways to cook those chickens, and if a certain pretty little chicken doesn't take the fox on his journey then there'll be barbecue-aplenty in the morning.

Sucre: That chicken is loco, but I'll stand by him anyway.

Sucre 2.0: I hope the chicken likes basketball as much as I do. Maybe the other side of the road is America. I want to cross it too! Look, I've been saving up this nest egg...

Mahone: The chicken led me here, but I have faith it'll lead me out again as long as I don't turn my back on it.

Gretchen: Chickens squawk, and then you do what you've got to do. This one's going to be missing its head soon...

Whistler: I'll stay close to the chicken until we're on the other side of the road, and then it's every chicken for himself.

Viewers: For the love of god, make the chicken's brother grow some hair again already!

*

~~~~ Extra! ~~~~

Chicken: Hey, where'd my feet go? (bookstorejunkie) \o/


 
 
 
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on January 22nd, 2008 10:03 pm (UTC)
No, no, you can't do that! Mine suck! ARGH. You need to write better and more fun ones. Mine are embarrassing!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on January 22nd, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
Awww. You sure? You started the PB one, after all. Plus, the keychain deserved that dig. ;)

I'll change them if you want...
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: smilie priyankathelana on January 22nd, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
*sigh*

Okay, how about you let it stand as the inspiration, but write a Michael and a Lincoln of your own. So mine aren't the "official" Michael and Lincoln ones :D

Soooo, does that count as my first official fanfic ;p
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 22nd, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
Soooo, does that count as my first official fanfic ;p
Oh, I think the schmoopy-poo CurtainFic disaster deserves that title. ;)

It was epically accurate. :D
PamalaX: Deathglarepamalax on January 22nd, 2008 10:08 pm (UTC)
Mahone: I don't give a damn why he crossed the road. All I know is, if that chicken gets anywhere near my family I'll put a bullet in his lil chicken head and bury him under the nearest lawn ornament.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on January 22nd, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
and bury him under the nearest lawn ornament.
Hahaha! Mahone's got to break that habit, once and for all. ;)
miss_mandy on January 23rd, 2008 12:32 am (UTC)
Maybe the other side of the road is America.

Ahahaha. Oh McGrady, never change.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 23rd, 2008 12:57 am (UTC)
Hee! You'd think Michael would spring the kid anyway, just out of the guilt impulse alone. :0
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on January 23rd, 2008 01:08 am (UTC)
Noooo, that's how Michael could finally proove that he has gotten smarter. (also having fun discussion on M/L AUs in mooyoo's latest post, heeeeeeee :D)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: MichaelInBarshalfshellvenus on January 23rd, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)
Noooo, that's how Michael could finally proove that he has gotten smarter.
Could, except I'm not sure that he has. ;)

But in the case of SONA, staying in long enough won't get you parolled-- it'll just get you killed. So I'm putting my eggs in the basket marked "Spring Sucre2.0" by the end of the season. :D
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: smilie priyankathelana on January 23rd, 2008 01:05 am (UTC)
Oh, I love those additions, particularly the V one. And particularly McSucre! :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 23rd, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC)
I realized when I moved these over that I'd neglected Veronica, and thought you might like that! Poor Veronica-- sacrificed and forgotten. :(
happy is as happy does: lmaohappywriter06 on January 23rd, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
Too funny. My favorite is T-bag's. I can just imagine a chicken with a pompadour with a little chick holding his tail feather.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: TBag-Zilla OTPhalfshellvenus on January 23rd, 2008 06:50 pm (UTC)
I can just imagine a chicken with a pompadour with a little chick holding his tail feather.
Hahaha! For some reason, now I'm getting this visual of Foghorn Leghorn and that agressive little chick that thinks it's a chicken-hawk instead of a chicken.
bookstorejunkiebookstorejunkie on January 23rd, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)
No "Chicken: Hey? Where'd my feet go?"?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Casthalfshellvenus on January 24th, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! Oh, that is cruel!

And SO appropriate for Season 3. :0
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on January 24th, 2008 07:30 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on January 24th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for doing that! I see people are already having fun with it. The "Veronica" one someone added just kills me. :D
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on January 24th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
That was my favorite one as well. While looking for a link on the chikenjoke I came to this site and they actually already had a bunch of tv characters, Lost, House and X-Files :)


Cameron: We should watch the chicken, but not force it or manipulate it. Find out what that tells us about its past actions, but not do anything dishonest.
Chase: It's just a chicken. It was probably running away from some fat American kid.
Foreman: You're both wrong it's a neurological reaction to stimuli. Come on people.
House: Actually you're all wrong. The real question is why should we care? The answer is we shouldn't. Next case. Oh and give me my damn pills!


(Foreman is so the one most in character :D)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on February 5th, 2008 12:40 am (UTC)
I love the Foreman one, which IS in character.

But the Chase one-- hahaha! That's the single suddenly-obsessed-with-fat-kids episode in a nutshell!
1aquaesulis761aquaesulis76 on February 4th, 2008 10:47 pm (UTC)
This made me cry. It should come with a no-drinking, no-eating, beware of sudden-uncontrollable-explosions type warning. ;D. Thanks!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on February 5th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
It should come with a no-drinking, no-eating, beware of sudden-uncontrollable-explosions type warning. ;D
Oh heavens, if you want THAT kind of pain you should check out "Penguin Break: The Story Of Lincoln Burrows" (also under my "crack" tag).

I'm glad you liked it-- and I can't believe no-one has called out that Bellick one! These were written after the episode where that Special Forces thing came out (which might be a total lie, who knows), and where you get a really good look at his tiger-striped-camp pants that he had to steal from some dead inmates stash. Though... better than NO pants, which is what he had before. Urk.
etherealflaim: mooetherealflaim on March 6th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC)
Michael: It wasn't really a chicken, it was a duck with a brother trapped in a hen-house.

Lincoln: It didn't. That's just what They want you to believe.

Sucre: Everybody knows all the roosters are on the other side of the road. And what self-respecting chicken doesn't like a big, feathery cock?

LJ: It had no choice, the bitchy woman cut it's best friend's head off.

PB Writers:

PB Viewers: We don't know, but we'll keep watching to find out!

LiveJournal Users: Who cares, let's post a challenge to see who can write the best chicken-crossing-the-street fic!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on March 6th, 2008 03:20 am (UTC)
Do you see how addictive this is? Seriously-- I wasted the better part of a day on this and the SPN one. ;)