?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
22 December 2007 @ 04:22 pm
Supernatural Slash Drabble: Under Cover Of Night (PG-13)  
Title: Under Cover Of Night
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam/Dean (Wincest)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Drabble on "Secrets beneath the blankets" for deadbeat_nymph.

x-x-x-x-x

"I've done this before," Sam says, the words falling in a whisper between breaths.

"Done what? This?" Dean emphasizes his words with a tight thrust and twist that makes Sam moan.

"Yes— in college. Before Jess…" Sam's gasps soon swallow everything else he could have said.

Dean rides to the poetry of sweet agony on Sam's face, remembering to reach down and help him along to the end.

Lying there afterward, sticky and sated, Dean's hands brush the tension from Sam's skin. "Me too," he says to the waiting darkness.

But it's a lie.

He never wanted this before Sam.


--------- fin --------


 
 
 
deanshot: Sam & Deandeanshot on December 23rd, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
You're very good at the drabble type fic.
I love the title you picked for it.
It was like poetry itself as I read it.
Thanks for sharing.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:00 am (UTC)
I love the title you picked for it.
It's a common phrase for military uses, but it really fit with deadbeat_nymph's prompt-- and the idea of sneaking in both secrets and lies in the dark.

Glad you liked it! Thank you. :)
I'm Mulder, She's Scullyrunedgirl on December 23rd, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Dean rides to the poetry of sweet agony on Sam's face, remembering to reach down and help him along to the end.

Even as Sam is hurting him, Dean *still* takes care of him and covers up his own pain. Such love.

Kat
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:01 am (UTC)
Even as Sam is hurting him, Dean *still* takes care of him and covers up his own pain. Such love.
And Sam doesn't even realize that he's telling Dean something Dean doesn't want to know. So typical, and so "ouch."

Love the icon. :)
Blonde on the inside: sn brothersstormcloude on December 23rd, 2007 01:10 am (UTC)
Oh that's lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:02 am (UTC)
Thank you very much! :)
Deadbeat Nymph: dean gundeadbeat_nymph on December 23rd, 2007 01:17 am (UTC)
Like always, you say so much in so few words. I feel that Dean loves Sam just a little bit more than Sam loves him, that he's more attached, at least. I get a sense of that here, that slight imbalance, that longing for something you already have. That feeling of intoxication, like the loved one's love is never enough. Even in canon I think it's clear: Sam could live without Dean, could survive, but Dean couldn't without Sam. Which is, of course, why life without Sam would be a worse hell for Dean than, well, Hell. And so, Sam is Dean's 'waiting darkness', regardless of what happens.

And I love the diction. I love the effect of the ess alliteration here: Sam's gasps soon swallow . Alliteration is a tricky thing; sometimes it sounds contrived, but here it really works. And, Dean rides to the poetry of sweet agony on Sam's face, is just lovely.

Actually, as I re-read it, the diction is really impressive overall. Every line has an aesthetic quality that seduces me.

Thank you for my drabble. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:05 am (UTC)
I feel that Dean loves Sam just a little bit more than Sam loves him.
I've thought that since Season 1, even with just the most basic fact that Sam could leave Dean but Dean couldn't leave him. Not to mention cutting Dean off for several years. :(

that longing for something you already have.
I love this phrasing, because I know </i>that exact feeling</i>, and when you're the one who loves more it's very real. Sam's here now, but why and for how long?

is a tricky thing; sometimes it sounds contrived, but here it really works.
I love alliteration far too much, but in this case it was entirely accidental. The words came out really quickly on this one-- hardly any wordsmithing or the usual forcing up or down to 100 words. That's pretty rare!

Every line has an aesthetic quality that seduces me.
Eeeee! \o/

Thank you for my drabble. :D
With feedback like this, the pleasure was all mine! ♥
Queen of Music: spn_inaboxdove95 on December 23rd, 2007 02:56 am (UTC)
Your drabbles are why I love them so much :)

Did you get to take a peek at the ones I wrote recently for lj gifts? They're kinda schmoopy to me, but I like 'em.

Happy holidays to you!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:06 am (UTC)
I missed those-- probably saw the post and then immediately forgot, because my brain is like a leaky bucket. Moreso this time of year. I'll peek at them!

Glad you liked this one. Merry Christmas!
aeroport_art: biteaeroport_art on December 23rd, 2007 05:27 am (UTC)
NNNNGH.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:06 am (UTC)
In both the sexy and angsty ways, I presume. ;)
(no subject) - aeroport_art on December 23rd, 2007 08:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
Rachel_sin_attract on December 23rd, 2007 05:29 am (UTC)
DEAN.

I always love love LOVE your drabbles...I don't know how you can pack so much emotion and depth into so few words, but you do it so well.

I've got several stories of yours to catch up on I believe now that I finally have some time to myself. I hope you have a wonderful holiday!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:08 am (UTC)
Thank you, Rachel!

It's a great niche for me, even though I write the longer stories. It should be part of my banner, I think: Serving all your microfic needs. ;)

Hope you enjoy the other ones too, and Merry Christmas! Nice to be done with finals, isn't it? I remember it well. And how I used to save all my Christmas shopping until afterwards. :0
glimmerella: wincestglimmerella on December 23rd, 2007 07:19 am (UTC)
Seems 100 percent plausible to me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 08:09 am (UTC)
Poor Dean-- always a little bit of heartbreak waiting around the corner when it comes to Sam. And it isn't even intentional.

I've seen that icon before, but I'm always struck by how good the art in it is. Sam especially looks very realistic.
Shaitanah: chrisistne_pieklo on December 23rd, 2007 08:48 am (UTC)
This is so sweet and heartbreaking. Beautiful as ever!
~ Shaitanah (sorry for writing from another account, I'm just too lazy to log back in XD)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 09:14 am (UTC)
Thank you, Shaitanah! I recognize your signature, at least-- though this account name sounds very Eastern European, and I think I remember you saying that you speak some Russian. True?
(no subject) - istne_pieklo on December 23rd, 2007 09:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on December 23rd, 2007 09:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - istne_pieklo on December 23rd, 2007 09:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
tyricaltyrical on December 23rd, 2007 01:49 pm (UTC)
If there ever was time when words hurt. This moment is one of them. It's the moment when you think you're being giving, when you think you're making it easier, and what you're actually doing is twisting the knife deeper.

Yes Sam, this is not new to you but it is about you isn't it? Whether you mean it or not it usually is always about you. So how about we own up to the fact and let Dean have this? Just this once let Dean have you.

I hurt for Dean. Especially because he's the one without the anchor. This drabble so beautifully depicts him in that struggle. Deep in his heart he believes Sam is always a heartbeat from walking away. Even in the most intimate of moments Sam has the ability to walk away.

Your gift with words makes it possible to see the complexity and the beauty of the human struggle. Dean's pain is tangible and Sam's obliviousness is thrust forward with such gentleness we almost miss it. Yet through it all you can see love shining through.

You move me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 26th, 2007 07:08 am (UTC)
It's the moment when you think you're being giving, when you think you're making it easier, and what you're actually doing is twisting the knife deeper.
I tell you, between you and deadbeat_nymph, I am over the moon with the feedback on this drabble. You really got all of the layers of what was going on there, something that seemed casual and heated to Sam and an entire backdrop of quiet ache was playing out for Dean.

Just this once let Dean have you.
Without the distancing of other people, other times, slipping in to remind Dean of all the things Sam did after he left him.

Deep in his heart he believes Sam is always a heartbeat from walking away. Even in the most intimate of moments Sam has the ability to walk away.
Yes, yes! This is what makes me hurt for Dean under the asshole exterior-- that naked need for Sam, and the certain knowledge that it is nothing like that on Sam's end, that Sam walked away once and could do it again-- has even tried to since coming back.

Dean's pain is tangible and Sam's obliviousness is thrust forward with such gentleness we almost miss it. Yet through it all you can see love shining through.
This is the part that really makes me dance inside-- it's exactly the mood of what's happening here, and yet it's underneath the words and still you saw every part of it.

*happy sigh* Some of the best feedback I've gotten for any fic, ever. Thanks so much for taking your time with it. ♥
jelly babies to manual: dean general (smiling)thehighwaywoman on December 23rd, 2007 04:03 pm (UTC)
Ooh, nice. I love that insight into Dean's personality as you've written it. Could see that being the case.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 26th, 2007 07:10 am (UTC)
He would never, ever tell Sam that this was new, or that he was bending himself emotionally for Sam. Poor Dean-- hooked so long ago, and never able to cut himself loose. Ouch.
zenamydogzenamydog on December 23rd, 2007 10:48 pm (UTC)
But it's a lie. He never wanted this before Sam.

Perfect!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 26th, 2007 07:12 am (UTC)
It's the final blow, isn't it, in a story that's about the incredibly different takes both Dean and Sam have about what's going on here. It shows Dean's need for Sam all the more, a hint of the desperation that's always under the surface.
happybug on December 24th, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
"He never wanted this before Sam."
Ohh, i love this line!

this is a really effective drabble. it's quick and cuts to the chase yet it sums up a lot in a few lines.


i know this may seem weird, and you might not remember me, but its me Ivy and i just wanted to stop and say hello! (waves). I'm back on LJ and I'm definitely ready to stock up on the pretty boys! Anyhow, i wonder if you would like to be friends again! I've missed your work and am looking forward to see what you've written this year!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 26th, 2007 07:15 am (UTC)
Ohh, i love this line!
People have really caught the ache in that final line, that shows how very far over the edge Dean has fallen for Sam (and will never, ever tell him). *angsts*

I definitely remember you, and I'm glad you're back! In fact, if you peek at my Profile page, you'll see that your old account is still there with a line through it. I have a few friends who disappeared, and I can't bring myself to delete them-- just in case they change their minds later. :)
(no subject) - happybug on December 27th, 2007 04:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
brigid_tanner: Dean-whoabrigid_tanner on December 25th, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Always figured Dean to be the more experienced one. Hmm...I like your drabble a lot. Loved the last line.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam/Dean kisshalfshellvenus on December 26th, 2007 07:18 am (UTC)
Always figured Dean to be the more experienced one.
In everything else, I'm sure he is-- frighteningly so. But I don't get an "into guys" vibe off of him-- exactly the opposite, in fact. The desperate need/want/do-anything feelings he has for Sam come through loud and clear, though, again and again.

How hard he tries to hide it, and how poorly he succeeds... And don't I love it. :)