October 4th, 2018


LJ Idol Prize Fight: "Aw, Not This Guy Again!"

Aw, Not This Guy Again!
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 1 | 386 words
It's hard to beat a person who never gives up


You know who I hate?

Trust me, you'll never guess. Because people are always saying, "Oh c'mon, you can't be serious. That's crazy!"

Yeah, but is it now? Is it really?

Everyone thinks he's adorable. The guy's got good press—especially with the ladies—but trust me, nothing is adorable at 4 a.m. NOTHING.

You think he's so cute, you should try living with him…

I mean, I've known some doozies in my time. There was that creepy-ass clown who loved junk food. Yeesh. I'd hate to run into him in a dark alley, you know? And who wears that much yellow, anyway? Then there was that huge cat who was obsessed with cereal, of all things—and always with the yelling! I could hear him from two floors away.

We've got stuntman falling out of buildings and driving down the street like maniacs, and underwear models on every corner. Geez louise, put some clothes on already! Plus, you know that dizzy dame with the fruit on her head? I used to run into her at the corner supermarket. I like fruit as much as the next guy, but c'mon, that was nuts.

Still, this is Hollywood, and everyone's got a dream. My dream was to be an astronaut, or maybe one of those billionaires with leggy blondes hanging off both arms, but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Anyway, back to the roommate from hell. This guy would try the patience of a saint, I swear. It's not that I want to kill him or anything, not like that coyote who's always chasing after that bird, but if I don't get some peace and quiet soon, I might just snap. *Ka-bam*

I gotta admire that coyote, though. He gets into some scrapes—I think the universe is cheating on him, to be honest. But he just keeps on plugging away. One day he's gonna get that bird, you'll see. His luck can't stay bad forever.

Aw, for crying' out loud, here he comes, my own personal Torquemada. Guess I'm not going back to the apartment anytime soon.

Yeah, you get the picture now? Banging on that bass drum day and night—and the guy never sleeps, let me tell you! It's driving me bonkers.

Man, I gotta find a new place to live…

-- fin --




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