August 11th, 2014


LJ Idol Season Nine: "Gianni The Enforcer"

Gianni The Enforcer
lj idol season 9 | week 17 | 741 words
"scare quotes"


I know what you're gonna ask. Yeah, I had bigger hopes than this when I was growing up, but things don't always work out, you know? My grades weren't so good, and Ma was always busy at the newspaper. My cousin Larry was the smart one, and now he's working for People magazine. It ain't prestige, but it pays. Me? I guess you could say my job is in accounts and enforcement.

Yeah. I'm the muscle.

My partner is a guy named Floyd. Most of the time, everyone plays by the rules and we don't have to get involved. That's the way we like it. But every now and then, some Weisenheimer decides to write a newspaper or magazine article and make up some of the quotes, which is illegal or something. Or maybe they start putting quotation marks around words that don't need them, like "food" or "official" or "new."

When that happens, somebody's getting paid to violate the code, and that makes all Quotation Marks look bad. Punctuation is an old profession, and the Family doesn't hold with that kind of business. That's where Floyd and I come in.

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