January 22nd, 2008

Sam & Dean Gen

Supernatural vs. The Chicken

I sent out some email humor to a bunch of people this morning (features pictures, so email me if you want a copy of your own). It's "Why The Chicken Crossed The Road: Experts Respond."

And then particlesofgale sent me back a Supernatural version and I went off on a tear and added to it:

~~~~ Debbie's email humor ~~~~ \o/

Dean: The chicken needs to be salted & burned before it "crosses" back.

Sam: Wait. What if the chicken unknowingly has demon blood from when it was a mere chick? Can it be saved? Please save the chicken Deeeeeeen! ::wibbles::

~~~~ Halfshell's cruel additions ~~~~

John: The chicken will be taken care of, if it comes to that. Dean'll make sure of it.

Ellen: So long as the chicken pays like everyone else and doesn't start anything, it's welcome at The Roadhouse.

Bobby: What the? That chicken was dead just yesterday, and now it's up and walking around again!

Gordon: The chicken is the AntiChrist.

DemonBimbette: I was prepared to follow the chicken and join its chicken army. We all were.

CW: The epic story of the chicken and its road isn't drawing enough viewers from the 18-25 male demographic. We need more female guest-stars and random T&A.

Bela: I can procure that chicken if the price is sufficient, and you may cook it as you please. My part is only to deliver the merchandise.

Kripke: God, I hope the chicken makes it to Season Four.

Viewers: Please let the Writers' Strike be over so we can continue watching the chicken go wherever it needs to go...

*

~~~~ Extras! ~~~~

YED: That chicken is SPUNKY, crossing the road all grown up now. It makes me proud! (girlguidejones)

Henricksen: I near went nuts tryin' to find that chicken. (girlguidejones)

Ellen: That chicken is bad news. He and Bill went on a hunt together and the chicken came back alone. (particlesofgale)

Ruby: What do you *really* know about the chicken's Mother? (particlesofgale)




PB Cast

Prison Break vs. The Chicken

The Supernatural post inspired thelana to chime in for Prison Break, and then I had to add some more. Brought forward to you here from the comments!

~~~~ thelana's chickens ~~~~

Lincoln: The chicken punched the road and then headbutted every car that came across it. Then it bought itself a keychain.

Michael: In order to cross the road the chicken made lengthy calculations based on many unrealsitic and obtuse coincidences. Then it dug a tunnel. In the end it seduced a random passer by to carry it across.

~~~~ halfshell's additional chickens ~~~~

Michael: No-one can ever really understand how lonely it is on this side of the road, or why the chicken stays there and how much it sacrificed.

Lincoln: The road was doing fine before the chicken crossed it, and now there's all this traffic and the road needs a f***ing drink already.

Veronica: I believed in the chicken and did what I could, until I wound up at the slaughterhouse.

Westmoreland: I was never that chicken, but I know where the chicken had its nest...

Pope: I can redeem that chicken, and help it see the futility of always wanting to cross new roads when all that it needs can be found within itself.

Sara: I always find myself drawn to the bad chickens, and then I follow them across the road to self-destruction.

Sofia: I thought I knew the chicken, but now I see that it has already crossed to the other side of our road and left me behind. I need a new chicken...

Bellick: The chicken wanted pants that could only be found on the other side of the road. Special Forces pants, in fact. Let me tell you about the time...

T-Bag: There're chickens and there're ways to cook those chickens, and if a certain pretty little chicken doesn't take the fox on his journey then there'll be barbecue-aplenty in the morning.

Sucre: That chicken is loco, but I'll stand by him anyway.

Sucre 2.0: I hope the chicken likes basketball as much as I do. Maybe the other side of the road is America. I want to cross it too! Look, I've been saving up this nest egg...

Mahone: The chicken led me here, but I have faith it'll lead me out again as long as I don't turn my back on it.

Gretchen: Chickens squawk, and then you do what you've got to do. This one's going to be missing its head soon...

Whistler: I'll stay close to the chicken until we're on the other side of the road, and then it's every chicken for himself.

Viewers: For the love of god, make the chicken's brother grow some hair again already!

*

~~~~ Extra! ~~~~

Chicken: Hey, where'd my feet go? (bookstorejunkie) \o/