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12 December 2007 @ 01:08 pm
Supernatural Drabble: Until You Feel It  
Title: Until You Feel It
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (or Sam/Dean)
Rating: PG
Summary: poisontaster wanted a drabble with Dean being taken care of and "warmth." Happy Birthday!
Author's Note: (Season 3 hints) Also for 100_ghosts "Touch" prompt, because these all folded together liek whoa.

x-x-x-x-x

Dean's muscles ache, but the pain goes deeper. It's inside him, silent and stubborn, counting the days.

"Let me get your back," Sam says, swatting Dean's hands when he tries a token protest. The warmth of Sam's touch melts into him, the tightness letting go all the way down inside Dean's heart.

"Gonna take care of you." Sam means it, all of it, and Dean bites his own lip against his treacherous emotions. He wants to be freed, to be saved—loved— and he should be tougher but Sam finds his weakness every time.

"Okay," Dean whispers.

And it is.


-------- fin --------


 
 
 
poisontaster on December 12th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
Mmmm. Yes. Just the right amount of sweet, like a mug of hot chocolate on a cold, blustery day. Thank you very much. *hugs you*
deej1957: boys leaning at each otherdeej1957 on December 12th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC)
a mug of hot chocolate on a cold, blustery day.... that's a perfect discription!

A very happy birthday to you, poisontaster
(no subject) - poisontaster on December 12th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 09:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - poisontaster on December 12th, 2007 09:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Catherine Winnersunrunnersioned on December 12th, 2007 09:52 pm (UTC)
awww...that was just so right!! Thanks so much!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC)
Kinds of eases the S3 mood a little, doesn't it?

And it's funny how the most stubborn part of Sam and Dean meeting on common ground, emotionally speaking, is now Dean. Who has no needs, no problems, no anything, and god but the denial just gets aggravating. Especially when the flip side is him thinking that Sam doesn't love him enough.
(no subject) - sunrunnersioned on December 12th, 2007 10:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
cindy: spn - ouija handstsuki_no_bara on December 12th, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
awww, boys. i like that dean can let sam take care of him for a change - not just physically taking care of the cuts and bruises and muscle strain, but emotionally too.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
i like that dean can let sam take care of him for a change - not just physically taking care of the cuts and bruises and muscle strain, but emotionally too.
It seems to be just nearly impossible for him, and yet that's the only love that really matters to him. Why he insists on pushing it away (and then feeling all lonely and gripey) is a frustrating mystery. We can't help being intrigued by that part of Dean, but on the other hand sometimes I just want him to relax and knock it off.
kaz: SPNkazlynh on December 12th, 2007 10:36 pm (UTC)
That was beautiful!!! Comfort and angst all wrapped up in one, wonderfully concise package.

Thank you so much for sharing!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 10:40 pm (UTC)
Comfort and angst all wrapped up in one, wonderfully concise package.
It really is both all at once-- which makes the comforting more important and necessary then! (Oh, Season 3...)

But what a nice feeling at the end. It makes me relax into the moment just like Dean, as if Sam will find a way to make it all work out. *Has faith in him*
tabaqui: s&dsunsetbydeanscookietabaqui on December 12th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
OH, pretty. I love it.
*cuddles them*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 10:53 pm (UTC)
If only Dean weren't so prickly and were easier to cuddle in general. It's not just his hair that has the "hedgehog" issues. *sigh*

Glad you liked it!
Deadbeat Nymph: dean serious beigedeadbeat_nymph on December 12th, 2007 10:57 pm (UTC)
Again, you've said so much in so few words, and beautifully too. The blending of comfort and rawness is poignant. It makes me feel snuggly, but not in a sugary way.

I love that we see Dean's despondency, his desperation for comfort and acquiescence to it. *snuggles him*

And I love that Sam sees it all without any need for words. *snuggles him too*

Apparently, I'm a festival of snuggles tonight. No, wait - that's a good thing.

P.S. I haven't forgotten your other poem-drabble. I'm just really really behind with reading. :P
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 12th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
The blending of comfort and rawness is poignant. It makes me feel snuggly, but not in a sugary way.
Love this description-- because there IS a rawness to what Dean's feeling and trying to keep hidden.

P.S. I haven't forgotten your other poem-drabble. I'm just really really behind with reading. :P
Look forward to your reading it-- and I hope you'll drop a few titles into that other meme too. :)
jelly babies to manualthehighwaywoman on December 12th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
Lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 08:08 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)
(Anonymous) on December 12th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
Very nice. Would've loved to see it as a full story.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 08:09 am (UTC)
Thank you very much. I had no time to consider a full story today, but you never know. I've expanded a couple of drabbles before, and this one has potential. :)
brigid_tanner: Dean-unspoken wishbrigid_tanner on December 13th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
Yay for poisontaster wanting comfort fic! this is lovely. Dean needs to let go and let Sam take care of him more. I think you nailed Dean's "treacherous emotions" beautifully.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 08:12 am (UTC)
Dean needs to let go and let Sam take care of him more.
God yes-- to stop pushing Sam away repeatedly, and then later angsting over why Sam doesn't love him enough. It's maddening to watch at times, hence the "letting go"-- of his own resistance, or stupidity, or machismo or whatever it is. It's the wanting it on the one hand and rejecting it with the other that makes us all so nuts.
Ruth: Woundedjust_ruth on December 13th, 2007 01:47 am (UTC)
Wonderful! Works as gen for me, good brotherly moment.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
It does for me too, either way. I'd love to see something like this on the show sometime (though we won't, because of paranoia over 'connotations').

Given the life they already had-- before the whole S3 angst-o-meter took off-- things were hard enough that a little measure of real kindness (and the grace to accept it) could make a world of difference.
IDK, my BFF Jared Leto?: hold me upgekizetsu on December 13th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC)
::flails::

omg, you get me every time.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
Hee! This made my day! :D :D Thank you! ♥
bonbonschnecke: pic#68506423bonbonschnecke on December 13th, 2007 09:11 am (UTC)
Oh that is so sweet.... Like it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 05:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
tyricaltyrical on December 13th, 2007 05:41 pm (UTC)
Just lovely.
A small peek into how much one can be loved ... if they allow it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 13th, 2007 05:51 pm (UTC)
A small peek into how much one can be loved ... if they allow it.
Oh, and it's just that last part that... *thwaps Dean* Get over yourself already!

Part of loving people is letting them love you back. Dean really doesn't get that. :(
ErinRua: Deanerinrua on December 13th, 2007 08:13 pm (UTC)
Ah, this is just delicious. It really feels like Dean, where we left him after "Fresh Blood", with all his callouses warn thin and his heart a little too close to the surface. I adored Sam simply swatting Dean's resistance away, a physical demonstration of what he did verbally in FB. Knock it off, Dean, I know you, so shut up and let me take care of you.

And bless Dean, unwilling to accept the same comfort he gives. I wonder if that's just part of the warrior mentality? Because sometimes my hubby, a former Marine and combat vet, does that. He'll do anything for me, but when he's hurting, he doesn't want to be bothered, just shuts himself away. Buttheads, the lot of 'em. ;-)

Anyhow. Yeah. This soothes away the aches in *me* as well, just for the gentle warmth, the firm caring, the bottomless love it carries. Oh, boys ... :-)
Cheers ~

Erin
*10 hours and counting!* :-D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Samhalfshellvenus on December 14th, 2007 10:37 pm (UTC)
Knock it off, Dean, I know you, so shut up and let me take care of you.
And that's the thing Dean needs more of and that I wish the show would give us. Dean can't stand to hear that Sam cares... so show him. And don't take "no" for an answer, because Dean's obnoxious like that and you've got just to veto-stamp over him.

And bless Dean, unwilling to accept the same comfort he gives.
I don't know whether it's fear of 'weakness' alone, or whether it's also that Dean doesn't think he deserves it or thinks he shouldn't want it, but damn if it isn't hard to deal with.

Someone once taught me an important lesson that made it through my shyness barrier: If people compliment you, don't deny/ignore/avoid it, because they're doing something nice for you and that reaction doubly punishes them. How would you like someone doing that to you?

*10 hours and counting!* :-D
And I so wish it had turned out more like this drabble! *aches*
(no subject) - erinrua on December 15th, 2007 08:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on December 18th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - erinrua on December 19th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 18th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC)
So glad you liked it! Thank you very much. :)