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05 December 2007 @ 10:44 am
Supernatural Gen Drabble: Unwashed Sins  
Title: Unwashed Sins
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Post-Season 2 drabble on hard choices and final reckonings.
Author's Notes: Written for my Switch_25 table, this is "Dirt."

x-x-x-x-x

Too many secrets buried deep— too many to salt and burn, or cement into eternal silence.

Like vengeful ghosts, these thoughts haunt and harrow the waking hours: bargained lives, hollow souls, daggers bloodied for the thrill of the hunt as much as justice or secondhand salvation.

Dirt clings to the corners of grave-muddied shovels and guilty choices. All the hardbound rules for a complex world become twisted when black and white fade into questions within questions.

Does the greater good absolve the lesser wrongs along the way?

In a lifetime, can the sin of loving too much ever be forgiven?


-------- fin --------


 
 
 
cindy: spn - dean looks away (by oxoniensis)tsuki_no_bara on December 5th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
ooh. this is very bleak, but i like it that way, and i like that it works for both boys, from both pov's.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 5th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
and i like that it works for both boys, from both pov's.
Yes! I really wanted it to be able to apply to both, each guilty over slightly different things and each with choice compromised for slightly different reasons.

And always the question of when or if those choices become wrong...
Pix: [SPN] Wish me not wish me onepixel_0 on December 5th, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
Gah. How you manage to fit so much into so little always amazes me. Gorgeous. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 5th, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Pixel! This one is densely-layered with meaning, because of the hard nature of recent choices the boys have made (and the consequences that await). It was intended for "Hell Quarterly," but that's been cancelled so I'm posting it now.

Pheebs1pheebs1 on December 5th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)
I really liked this. That's a lot said in only 100 words ;)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 5th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Pheebs! It seems like the waters get muddier and muddier as the show goes on. In Season 1, all the choices seemed so simple-- this is evil so kill it, see what Dad says to do next, and watch your back.

*sigh*
Deadbeat Nymph: dean stairsdeadbeat_nymph on December 5th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
I'm feeling rather melancholy today, and so I don't know if this made me feel better or worse, but I'm glad to have read it. It's lovely. It feels more like poetry in prose that a short fic. That's probably true of most of your drabbles, but here that quality really struck me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 5th, 2007 11:11 pm (UTC)
It feels more like poetry in prose that a short fic.

This one actually IS more like poetry. I put extra effort into it because it was supposed to be for Hell Quarterly (I have a Wincest quatrain to post later this week too), but that got cancelled. Wah!

There is another piece that is even moreso like poetry than this one, and it's one that I really like and that people rarely read but usually really like when they do, so I'd love to know what you think: We Were Soldiers Once. I tend to actually think of that one as an "ode," because that is its nature through and through.
layne: spn saving peoplelayne67 on December 6th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
Images of Hendericksen came to mind when I was reading this.

And the last line broke me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 9th, 2007 08:03 am (UTC)
And the last line broke me.
You probably understand it all too well, then. If they never found a way to undo the deal Dean made, how could Sam forgive him that choice? And keep from hating himself as well?
brigid_tanner: Bobby-no words leftbrigid_tanner on December 6th, 2007 01:47 am (UTC)
It's like poetry. So much meaning in so few words.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 9th, 2007 08:04 am (UTC)
This one really IS like poetry-- more intentionally than usual. An entire story on "dirt" didn't present itself, but for a drabble on SPN, it's surprisingly rich!
iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on December 6th, 2007 02:17 am (UTC)
Does the greater good absolve the lesser wrongs along the way?

In a lifetime, can the sin of loving too much ever be forgiven?


Great questions/themes to end this drabble on, and I have to say it: Oh, boys.

Nicely done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 9th, 2007 08:05 am (UTC)
and I have to say it: Oh, boys.
There's nothing like the questions that can't really ever be answered. If your choices were not absolutely certain, those are the questions that will haunt you forever.
ErinRua: Carry onerinrua on December 6th, 2007 05:32 am (UTC)
Ah, as ever, such amazing things in so few words. I like how, now in S3, this could be either of the Winchester boys. The sin of loving too much ... they are both unabashedly guilty. *sighhs* Lovely.
Cheers ~

Erin
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 9th, 2007 08:07 am (UTC)
I like how, now in S3, this could be either of the Winchester boys. The sin of loving too much ... they are both unabashedly guilty.
That's what was really perfect about it for S3-- that it does fit both of them, and it's likely that each of them thinks himself far more guilty than the other.

Glad you liked it! :)
tyricaltyrical on December 9th, 2007 03:48 am (UTC)
Does the greater good absolve the lesser wrongs along the way?

In a lifetime, can the sin of loving too much ever be forgiven?


A lot of very smart religious people would like you to believe that God is a loving God and if the intent is pure and you are truly sorry the door of heaven is open to you.

However if you follow the Old Testament.... well kiss your ass good bye.

So I guess it could go either way.

If the goal is to protect then no you can never love too much. If at the end of my days I stand in front of Him for judgment and he tells me that I'm guilty of loving too much; then I will stand proudly and take His judgment.

I think the brothers Winchester would too!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 9th, 2007 08:10 am (UTC)
I think the brothers Winchester would too!
That's where this all gets murky for me, especially as an agnostic. How does god allow John Winchester to be in Hell for trading his life for his son's? Or even let Evil get so much of the upper hand to begin with (because in the Winchester universe, it certainly has that).

As you point out, though... the Old Testament god is very different from that of the New Testament. And the earlier version is more capricious and prideful and unforgiving by far-- the kind of situation that leads to the barriers to Evil being ill-controlled.
tyricaltyrical on December 11th, 2007 01:45 am (UTC)
That's where this all gets murky for me, especially as an agnostic.

I too as an agnostic would agree. But in some movie a character said that He was an absentee father.

In the Winchester's case I do believe that's true.

I believe in balance and for as great an evil that is out there I do believe that there is as great as good.

Only problem is I don't think those suffering from the evil ever see that good or goodness. Which sucks royally when it's happening to you.
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on June 11th, 2008 06:48 am (UTC)
Beautiful, as always love...

*hugs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Hughalfshellvenus on June 17th, 2008 08:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. :) *hugs*