?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
21 August 2007 @ 11:57 am
Supernatural Gen Drabble: Of Hollow Promises  
Title: Of Hollow Promises
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Dean (Gen, Angst)
Rating: PG
Summary: Season 1 drabble on "Resolutions" for supernatural100.
Author's Notes: Happy belated birthday to elanurel! This is the angsty Dean you asked for.

x-x-x-x-x

Crying won't bring her back.

Dean learned that one from Dad—even if Dad only ever meant it for himself, not a lesson for his boys but the key to surviving unspeakable loss.

We'll find Dad again, just gotta keep looking.

Months of wondering and unreturned phone calls, but Dean kept the faith. Turned out Dad wasn't lost—he just didn't want to be found.

If Sam tries to leave again, I won't beg him to stay.

That was before Dad died, before Sam—oh god, Sam…

Dean couldn't possibly have known all the forms that begging would finally take.


-------- fin --------




 
 
 
cindy: spn - deantsuki_no_bara on August 21st, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
*snif* oh, dean. y'know, the deal he made with the crossroads demon for sam's life was only halfway a deal - the other half was him begging god/the universe/the crossroads demon/whoever/whatever to let his brother live.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 07:19 pm (UTC)
the other half was him begging god/the universe/the crossroads demon/whoever/whatever to let his brother live.
Oh exactly-- that's exactly what that final line meant.

God, the desperation. *cries*
Deadbeat Nymph: dean attackdeadbeat_nymph on August 21st, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
Wow, you fit a lot of ouch in so few words. Baby boy...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:16 pm (UTC)
I revised the ending on this again and again (second-to-last paragraph) trying to get this to really say what it needed to.

Not easy, but I think it was worth it. *sniffles for Dean*
girlfan1979girlfan1979 on August 21st, 2007 07:44 pm (UTC)
Well now I feel...
Dean couldn't possibly have known all the forms that begging would finally take.

Kind sad.

That line really makes a difference - what a way to say something without actually saying it. Very well done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
Re: Well now I feel...
That line really makes a difference - what a way to say something without actually saying it.
Oh, especially when the viewer knows how absolutely desperate Dean became.

Unimaginable, until it happens and he's willing to bleed himself out into the joyless black eternity if the universe will bring Sam back. *angsts*
girlfan1979girlfan1979 on August 22nd, 2007 08:34 pm (UTC)
Re: Well now I feel...
Yeah. Exactly that.
elanurelelanurel on August 21st, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow! Thank you so much! It's lovely.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
You're welcome! You said angst, and I wanted to really capture that feeling for you.

Hope the birthday was grand! ♥
elanurelelanurel on August 24th, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
The birthday was lovely, and you captured the angst perfectly. ;-P
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
And we know why, because we've felt it and cried through it with him. *wibble1,000,000*

iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on August 21st, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
Dean couldn't possibly have known all the forms that begging would finally take.

Oh, Dean.

*hugs him*

Nicely done. It really made me ache for Dean. His life is just so intertwined with Sam's that it hurts to think of them separated. Of course Dean would do whatever it took to bring Sam back. Dean can only handle so much loss.

*hugs Dean again*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:44 pm (UTC)
Of course Dean would do whatever it took to bring Sam back. Dean can only handle so much loss.
And that's part of the overriding theme here, as you noticed. It's all about the things he winds up losing, one after another, even when he tries to maintain hope or steel himself against it.

But losing the last and most important thing... god, what's left for him then? How can he help but give away everything he has to bring it back? *sniffle*
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on August 22nd, 2007 01:24 am (UTC)
:( Oh, Dean.

*tiny flappy hands*

No cry. Stupid mood swings.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
The most painful part of both seasons, and that's saying a lot. *cries*
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: angsty Dean in b&wdotfic on August 22nd, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
Oh, Dean. *sniffle*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:49 pm (UTC)
It hurts just to revisit that part of Season 2, to think about the end of the world coming down so quickly and starkly for Dean.

*cries for his desperation*
ErinRua: heavyerinrua on August 22nd, 2007 04:33 am (UTC)
Ow. Owowow. I think this will require stitches.

Thank you. :-)

~ Erin
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:53 pm (UTC)
The canon does most of the work for me, I swear. *cries*
shaitanah: pb_michaelshaitanah on August 22nd, 2007 07:32 am (UTC)
Oh, Dean... I want to hug him))
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:54 pm (UTC)
I want to fix his entire world sometimes, if only that were possible. I hope Kripke does it for us in Season 3. *sniffle*
sauvageonne on August 22nd, 2007 12:42 pm (UTC)
Wow ... A beautiful broken Dean ...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 22nd, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)
Under the bravado, there is a very scarred spirit. And most of it was caused by his family, even when they can't be blamed for dying. *sigh*
fiery_fox2fiery_fox2 on August 22nd, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
Am I correct in assuming that last line was about the deal with the crossroads demon to bring Sam back? Even if you meant it some other way, the story was unbelievably heartbreaking, heart-wrenching, and filled with love and sorrow. I can't believe how genuinely awesome a writer you are. No, scratch that...I can. Wonderful job. *applauds*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on August 24th, 2007 02:51 am (UTC)
Am I correct in assuming that last line was about the deal with the crossroads demon to bring Sam back?
Yes-- it's exactly that. All these resolutions that he makes to deal with losing people, and that last one... he never saw that kind of loss coming, and never knew how absolutely desperate he'd become in trying to undo it. What a gut-wrenching story arc that was. *sighs*

Your words were so uplifting, especially for a drabble which people often think of as less than "real" stories. *blushes and secretly dances inside*

Thank you so much! ♥
nativestarnativestar on October 3rd, 2007 10:35 pm (UTC)
Oh Dean! I really liked this.

'Dean learned that one from Dad—even if Dad only ever meant it for himself, not a lesson for his boys but the key to surviving unspeakable loss.'
This I especially liked, I can so see that being what happened.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 12th, 2007 01:19 am (UTC)
Sorry to take so long to reply to this!

I'm glad you liked this drabble-- each of the parts in it covers something hard for Dean that he wants to overcome, until the final, terrible AHBL moment where he gives up on his resolve and will give anything away to turn back time.

This I especially liked, I can so see that being what happened.
So many of the lessons we teach are children are not the ones we intended, and this seems exactly that kind of situation. :(