The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors (halfshellvenus) wrote,
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
halfshellvenus

The absentia continues...

I've got vacation coming up on Friday, and I've been scrambling at work and at home to get things squared away. This includes the spn_50states story that has been creeping and must be finished by tonight. Oy.

We thought we were going camping last weekend, until a Wednesday phone call announcing that my sister-in-law was getting married on Saturday as a prelude to adopting a baby. Whoo! So Saturday was the wedding, which was low key, emotional, and lovely. These two are made for each other-- just took the SIL awhile to see that, but it's all good now.

Sunday our family went to a water park. There's another one in town we've been to many times, which I know well. The kids enjoyed this other one a lot, and I enjoyed it less-- it makes my water issues more obvious. I hate water in the face, and I don't like being underwater at all. *koff* weenie *koff* This place has a bunch of rides that have steep drops (aww! Too much for my stomach now) and a LOT of conclusions that nearly drown you. I went on one twisty open slide about 6 times (at the kids' behest), and was thrown face-first through a wall of water at the end 50% of the time. Ugh. Another slide unexpectedly threw a dense spray of water in my face for the last 20 seconds or so, and I was not prepared for that. Makes me feel like I'm suffocating. Grrr. My husband won't go on much of anything-- if it's not his stomach (things that go in circles are torture for him) it's his fear of banging his head on stuff in enclosed spaces. The kids went on a lot of stuff alone, rode nearly everything fearlessly, and had a fabulous time. Which is what really matters. :)

*

Sometimes I hear of things that I really wish I'd seen personally. One was a Dread Zeppelin concert, where the review mentioned the lead singer Tortelvis performing his medley of "Heartbreaker/Heartbreak Hotel." Do you see the appeal?

Another, which I'm reminded of with the passing of film director Ingmar Bergman, was a short film spoof called Die Döve that a friend saw and reported to me back in college :

This is a fake Swedish movie, with fake-Swedish dialogue (more fake than the the Muppets' Swedish Chef) and subtitles that explain the dialogue (as if that was necessary-- try reading it out loud).

A man is approached by Death, who wears black robes and carries a scythe.
Death: Die termbe is a-cermbe. (The time has come)
Man: Neh! Erm a-still a-yernge. (No! I'm still young.)

The Man persuades Death to play him a game of tennis, where if the Man wins then Death will let him live. They play heatedly against a foggy gray backdrop until match-point, and Death is on the verge of winning when the Man draws back to smash the ball over the net. Suddenly, there is a *splat* right in the man's eye which causes him to miss the shot.
Man: Ö. Die döve... (Oh. The dove...)

Death wins and the Man dies.

I've never seen this mini-movie, but how could you forget a description like that? Especially if you've seen a classic Bergman film?

There IS a commercial that we did see years ago and still laugh about. It's a beer commercial that features two men standing in front of a video store monitor while their girlfriends look for movies. Playing on the instore monitor is a barely-lit black-and-white scene with an overly made-up woman saying, "Oh no-- it is the Sad Clown of Death!" The two men boggle at it cluelessly, as they should. That one's a Fellini spoof, and all these years later I still think it's gold. One single line is all you need! \o/


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