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26 July 2007 @ 10:18 am
Supernatural Gen Fiction: Loose Talk  
Title: Loose Talk
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (Gen, Humor)
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Summary: Why oh why does Dean never know when to shut up?
Author's Notes: Happy birthday to deirdre_c, unhobbityhobbit and erinrua! I hope this gives you all a lift for your special day. Also for my switch25 table, this quite obviously is "Tongue."

x-x-x-x-x

Sometimes it's like riding around with his grandmother, if he still had one, when Sam starts in on Dean with all the usual criticisms:

"Chew with your mouth closed!"

"Why do have to be such an ass?"

and most of all, "Why did you say that? What gets into you, Dean?"

Sam thinks Dean's too blunt. Or inappropriate. Or something… He thinks it a lot, and then he says it, and Dean thinks maybe that's starting to become inappropriate or at least rude, but Sam doesn't buy it. "Jesus Dean, you're twenty-eight now. You've got to stop saying every damn thing that comes into your head."

The thing is, though, that Dean actually does try. Mostly. He really does.

There are times when Sam says or does something that stomps up and down on every splintered vestige of Dean's soul… and Dean sucks it up and tells Sam to do what makes him happy.

There are moments when Dean taps into his empathy instead of his impatience, and he handles a situation sensitively—gets a scared little boy talking, or hears what Sam isn't saying.

Okay, he's back to Sam again, but Dean's sure there are other examples, other people besides Lucas where he's been a poster-boy for good communication.

It's just that there are too many times where he kind of… blurts. Or snarks. Or whatever it is, those unplanned moments where he finds himself talking and then he's said it—said something—and by the time it comes around to his ears it's already too late.

"You’ve got a smile that lights up a room, anybody ever tell you that?"

He'd only gotten run out of town for that, not beaten up or jailed. But he and Sam had been fighting and Sam had left, and he was kind of depressed about the whole thing. A lot depressed, to be honest.

"We talking, like, misdemeanor kind of trouble? Or uh…”squeal like a pig” kind of trouble?"

Yeah. That one hadn't been smart. He'd been lucky—the cops had overlooked it, hadn't sunk to the level of what he was accusing them of. Thank god.

So in general, even Dean has to admit that a lot of his worst moments happen when authority is involved. It's like he sees a uniform, and his mouth takes on a life of its own—usually in a really sassy, stupid direction. His father would have killed Dean if he'd ever heard him talk like that; that's not how his boys were raised. So what is it that makes Dean get that way, then? Rebellion? Passive-aggression? Deep-seated self-destructiveness?

It's a mystery.

Bars and restaurants bring out another kind of bad, according to some people.

"Hey, sweetheart, if you're the question then I'm the answer."

That one had earned him a drink in the face and Sam hissing "Jesus, shut up you moron!" No coming back after that, not when the other women in the bar had all seen it too. He'd been done for the evening barely ten minutes in, thanks to that Serena chick (or whoever she was) and Sam's penchant for self-righteous drama. Whatever.

"We hunt demons. Demons and spirits." Uh-oh. "Sam here, he's my brother. He's psychic, kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer, and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right."

God damn it.

Now, that one was totally not Dean's fault—he could feel the words being ripped out of him like a grappling hook being dragged up through a riverbed of clay. He'd tried so hard to keep from talking, but the words kept pouring out, kept dredging up truths that were better off never seeing the light of day.

He wished Sammy hadn't been there to hear that last part. The rest really didn't matter, but the part about Sammy he just never meant to say.

"Did Tony mention anything, you know, unusual to you? In the days before his death? Weird noises, uh, visions, anything like that?"

Now honestly, was that so weird? Maybe kind of unsubtle, or out-of-place, but not screamingly obvious or anything, right? Even to a grieving widow?

So what the hell had Sam's "Dean, shut the fuck up already" face been all about? Seriously, Sam overreacts sometimes, Dean swears.

They've stopped off at a mini-mart along east I-80, getting dinner on the road.

"Hot dogs are two for ninety-nine cents," the bullnecked cashier informs them.

"Aw thanks, but I was planning to die of poisoning on a different day," Dean says.

The guy is over the counter like an Olympic hurdler, suddenly so close that Dean sees a vein throbbing right there on his forehead.

Oops…

In Natchez, Mississippi, Hubert Tinseld watches the world pass by his living room window. Five years into retirement, this is all he's got.

There's that Williamson boy, the cocky quarterback who dumped Tinseld's daughter the week before Prom. He doesn't look so hot now with those extra eighty pounds. It's got to be rough having a wife who'll sleep with anyone who crosses her orbit.

Damn fitting, Tinseld thinks, her going from Miss Popular to becoming the town slut— but then again, he'd made sure of that.

Joey Mittleton had tried to set the library on fire in high school, and there was no convincing anyone that he hadn't burned his own house down himself last year.

Mittleton was 1997, and there were a few others around then to whom Tinseld had given their due. He pulls out a yearbook, leafs through the pages. Missy Hamilton—Southern Belle snob, works at a truck stop now. Poetic justice. Clifton Stalding—tried to buy test answers, currently in jail for fraud. Bobby Waters—used to bully freshman, now in prison being someone's jail-cell bitch.

And this one—Dean Winchester. Big-mouthed pretty-boy jackass with an attitude problem who either didn't come to class or couldn't bother to shut up when he was finally there.

Winchester. The word rolls through Tinseld's mind like everyday poetry.

Wonder how he likes that Babbling Bonehead curse I laid on his tongue all those years ago?


-------- fin --------



 
 
 
angels3angels3 on July 26th, 2007 05:36 pm (UTC)
Damn
that's just wrong. Sam needs to research that he's so smart.

Loved all the flashbacks.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
Re: Damn
that's just wrong.
But doesn't it just have the horrible feeling of TRUTH? :0

Poor Sam probably just thinks he's stuck with an idiot brother, and has never considered the underlying cause beyond that. ;)
ErinRua: Dr Badasserinrua on July 26th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
First! *G*

And you are daft, you know that, right? But in a good way. *SNORK* Dean and the Babbling Bonehead curse - ROTFLMAO! Oh, Dean!. *snork-sputter-snicker*

:-p

~ Erin
ErinRuaerinrua on July 26th, 2007 05:39 pm (UTC)
Okay, well I was almost first ... :-p
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 05:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 05:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - erinrua on July 26th, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Ah yes, quite a bunch of us, isn't it?unhobbityhobbit on July 26th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
*gasp* That explains so much! And now, if the curse was ever removed or ran out then they'd probably think something was wrong. The curse has become an intrinsic part of Dean! I could probably read something into that if I wasn't too busy giggling.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 05:56 pm (UTC)
The curse has become an intrinsic part of Dean! I could probably read something into that if I wasn't too busy giggling.
:D :D Now we know the real reason Dean does that... because otherwise, it just makes him look stupid, especially around the cops. :0

Glad you liked it! Happy yesterday-birthday!
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 05:57 pm (UTC)
Mmmeeeeaaaan Teacher ;)
And yet, I can understand the temptation. Especially if Dean did that every once in awhile on his own, way back when. :D

Of course, the teacher has no way of knowing who was really responsible for Dean not always coming to class. I'll bet a certain amount of hunting was involved. C'est la vie! :D
Rainbow of Awesomeness: Dean_grin!thelonejuliet on July 26th, 2007 05:58 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA


See, this fic? Sums up exactly why I like Dean. Everyone is born with a filter between their brains and their mouths that stops them from saying dumb crap that's going to get them in trouble. Now, mine is a little damaged, holes are too big in some parts - and Dean is exactly like me.I love it.

Thanks for sharing! :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC)
and Dean is exactly like me.I love it.

:D I think there are times when we ALL know what that feels like, and the question is... how often does that happen? Once in awhile? Every week? Or are we living with our feet stuck permanently in our mouth? :0 Dean, Dean, Dean...

Glad you liked it!
Catherine Winnersunrunnersioned on July 26th, 2007 05:59 pm (UTC)
here I thought you just did PB slash-so glad to see otherwise. Great fic, really enjoyed it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 06:10 pm (UTC)
here I thought you just did PB slash
Not remotely! My Prison Break is about 50/50 Slash/Gen (but no Michael/Sara). The Supernatural stuff used to be less than Prison Break, but during Season 2 it started to come out on top.

And I can never resist humor, though darn if it doesn't sometimes resist me! In terms of wanting to be written, that is. ;) This one, though? Dean's runaway mouth just tells its own, terrifying story. :0
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on July 26th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
*laughs and laughs and laughs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
I have no shame, do I? :D
(no subject) - acostilow on July 26th, 2007 07:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
cindy: spn - dean facepalm (by mixedbatch)tsuki_no_bara on July 26th, 2007 06:13 pm (UTC)
i have the biggest soft spot for babbling!smartass!dean. i figure he's just trying to inject some levity into an otherwise terrifically heavy and depressing job. you have to laugh or you'll cry, you know? a combination of that and the fact that he's just weirdly socialized on account of his dad not raising him like a normal person. but man, i love the idea of a curse. heee.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
you have to laugh or you'll cry, you know?
Sometimes it's true, and the inappropriateness itself just cracks me up. As in, "Anybody seen my Mom?" "Awkward..." in Croatoan. :0

The stuff with the police/etc. is what really inspired this, because there's tactless and there's dark humor, and then there's dumb. And I like to think that Dean usually isn't that dumb, not to mention that his father would never have tolerated that kind of backtalk in his life!

but man, i love the idea of a curse. heee.
He's not tactless, he's tortured! Yes! Just think of how he'd milk the rationalizations if he knew... ;)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN Dean duck lipsdeirdre_c on July 26th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
Hee! Oh, honey! So great!!!

I love that the curse makes him say it, but the thoughts are ALL DEAN! *thwaps him in the back of the head (lovingly)*

Winchester. The word rolls through Tinseld's mind like everyday poetry.
I love that line. Awesome. Heck, the whole thing is awesome! Thanks, m'dear! ♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC)
I love that the curse makes him say it, but the thoughts are ALL DEAN!
OH, yes! Trying to teach my son (almost eight now) that not every thought he has needs to come out of his mouth feels like a losing battle. You're going to think it, just don't say it. Seriously, "Squeal like a pig" is just asking for it. :0

Heck, the whole thing is awesome! Thanks, m'dear! ♥
Many happy returns, and I'm just sorry I didn't get it finished in time yesterday! All the quotes required more research than I'd anticipated. :0 But at least it's ready now. :D
fiery_fox2fiery_fox2 on July 26th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
*waves*
LMAO here! I totally loved this...epecially the ending...keep 'em coming! *winks*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC)
Re: *waves*
Haha! Thank you-- I had an evil amount of fun with this one. But of course... ;)
lastscorpion on July 26th, 2007 09:13 pm (UTC)
Very funny! I really liked the ending!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
It's a cruel, cruel world, isn't it? And Sam and Dean sure do attract a lot of attention. Mostly Dean. ;)
kamelionleenys on July 26th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
*laughs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 26th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Haha! I R Evohl 2Day! :D
purenightshadepurenightshade on July 26th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
That's one of the best explanations as to why Dean talks so much I've ever read. Had a good snicker on top of that.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 27th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
:D Poor Dean. Because as you know, he tries. Sometimes. And yet he just digs his hole deeper again and again. ;)
(no subject) - purenightshade on July 27th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on July 27th, 2007 10:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - purenightshade on July 28th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 27th, 2007 08:31 pm (UTC)
XD It would sure explain why Dean thinks he's actually making an effort, wouldn't it, in contrast to... the results. :0
adibiase on July 27th, 2007 12:16 am (UTC)
XD baby that explains EVERYTHING. wonderful!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 27th, 2007 08:32 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Thank you! \o/