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19 June 2007 @ 10:59 am
Prison Break Slash Fiction: Listening With The Heart  
Title: Listening With The Heart
Author: HalfshellVenus
Pairing: Lincoln/Michael (Slash)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After escaping from Fox River, Lincoln learns who to be with Michael in a future of their own making.
Disclaimer: Neither Prison Break nor its characters belong to me.
Author's Notes: Happy Birthday to deadbeat_nymph, who waits so patiently for Michael/Lincoln slash. Hope this helps!
Written from three combined prompts: "Discover the Unknown" for 60_minute_fics, #47, "Heart" for fanfic100, and "Love Beyond Desire" for philosophy_20, for obvious reasons.

x-x-x-x-x

The first day they drove alone, Lincoln turned on the radio. He'd rarely heard music in those longs months on Death Row, and the few times he had, he couldn't choose what it was.

In the car alone with Michael, he could skip through radio stations like anyone else— like a man with choices and a future. The novelty wore off as they drove further west, when most of the choices became country music and religion, but by then, it didn't matter— the music was humming inside Lincoln instead.

They'd talk from time-to-time, sometimes planning or just random comments, but mostly there were open-ended questions, like What ifs and Whys. Lincoln couldn't remember talking with Michael that way since back when Michael had been little and had wanted to know just everything.

It seemed so long ago—lifetimes in the past. Things had gotten so bad so quickly after that. They'd survived each other's near absence after their mother died—the terrible Children's Home years—and then stumbled through the routine of duty after Lincoln got a job to support them both and they lived in a crappy apartment near Michael's school. How's your homework? and When will you be home? were the conversations of that period: terse and joyless. When Lincoln got Lisa pregnant, he started to be gone more often and they spoke even less.

And after that, the next part was Lincoln and drugs and jail and more drugs again. Everything became silence and anger, blame and guilt. They had their dynamic—Fuckup and Fixer—and they lost the middle ground. They lost the feeling of being brothers along with it.

Now, with their future ahead of them, it was time to start over. They were free to be anyone but themselves, thanks to the bounty on their heads.

They'd already begun the journey into the forbidden territory of being lovers—the largest step of all, the one that as much as anything demanded leaving the past behind. This next step would be balancing two people as one and holding to it when the world said otherwise—or when the protests came from within themselves.

By now, Lincoln had nearly stopped hearing the voice that reminded him this was his brother when he kissed Michael. And he knew that Michael didn't hear that kind of voice at all.

For almost as long as I can remember, Michael had said back in Fox River. That was how long Michael had loved Lincoln too much to admit. It was why Michael would save him or destroy himself trying.

That first kiss had shaken everything Lincoln ever thought he knew about Michael, or even about himself. A lifetime of taboos fell in the heat of that heartfelt kiss—his lips seared by the lust-sharpened thrill that should have been awkwardness or disgust, but so surprisingly was not.

Everything Michael had just said became instantly true with that kiss. They were bound by something even stronger than family, bound by the call-and-answer yearning of one spirit for another. They were contrasts perfectly combined.

Michael's soul-deep ache for Lincoln filled the kiss with purity and passion. It illuminated the history between them with an entirely different kind of light.

Filled with the knowledge of Michael's want and need, Lincoln kissed him back and wanted everything in return—no matter what that made them.

So here they were now: free, beyond all hope or possibility. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Lincoln had narrowly escaped his death sentence. The two of them were forced to run from their pasts now, forced to become new people in a new country where the law couldn't find them.

It would have been terrible, except that it was somehow perfect. The past hadn't done them many favors. Lincoln was free to live now and they both were free to love.

Riding here beside Michael, Lincoln was already learning new things about them both. He'd already learned from all they'd been through that Michael was far tougher and braver than he'd realized; he wondered if Michael knew that about himself. He was learning a new way of being silent with Michael—one not caused by anger or withdrawing inside himself, but something more peaceful: listening with the heart.

He was learning the depths of Michael's love for him—more than loyalty or forgiveness or anything so ordinary, this was love that saw inside him and embraced every facet and flaw.

Love beyond judgment—love beyond desire.

Lincoln found his love for Michael demanded that he become worthy of that. He finally felt he could…

"What're you thinking about?" Michael's voice broke through Lincoln's reflections, a smile teasing the corner of his mouth.

"You. Me. Us," Lincoln answered. "The good stuff, of course."

"Any conclusions?" Michael asked softly.

Lincoln looked over at him then, saw what might have been worry buried under that even tone. "Best idea ever," he grinned, squeezing Michael's leg in reassurance.

Michael's face lit up, and the sight filled Lincoln with such happiness his body could hardly contain it.

"I feel a stop coming up soon, somewhere private." His fingers stroked along Michael's thigh.

"Got something you want to discuss?" Michael voice was so wonderfully, meltingly smooth.

"No," Lincoln said. "Got something I want to show you."

Five miles later, he did.


--------- fin --------



 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm so relieved. I've written so little M/L in the last 6 months or so, due to the fallout from Season 2.

I really miss the flavor of their particular dynamic, and in particular this sort of story was the kind of thing I'd hoped for from S2 that we never got-- very little of the two of them in any sense of 'togetherness' or 'meshing'

I'm thrilled that you liked it!
Deadbeat Nymph: brothers kissdeadbeat_nymph on June 19th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
Oh my god! Oh my god! I so wasn't expecting this! I didn't see this until after I commented to your first post (I clicked on it over an hour ago before you'd edited it).

Happy Birthday to deadbeat_nymph, who waits so patiently for Michael/Lincoln slash. Hope this helps!

It does. It really does. :D

It has so much love and warmth, and yet it's not fluffy. Not that I have anything against fluff, of course. ;) But there's a depth to it here that goes beyond such a classification...

I see now how the prison stood as a clear metaphor for the bondage (not that kind) in which they lived for most of their lives, and how their escape was not simply an evasion of literal death, but an escape from the restrictions that bound them to their abject state, which was a sort of living death. They are now free from prison, of course, but also from emotional and social imprisonment. And all the hardships they endured, both together and individually, were a journey towards this moment, as though they had to come to such an extreme point in order to be completely free, and the prison and escape were a purging of sorts, an exorcism of prohibition and suffering. And now they are free to have each other and themselves as well. And to get into a different sort of bondage (er, yeah, that kind). ;)

I guess it was always obvious in a way, but I don't think I've seen it delineated so clearly or so beautifully.

Thank you so much for this lovely fic. It warms my heart.
Deadbeat Nymph: brothers kissdeadbeat_nymph on June 19th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
P.S. I forget to mention that I loved how you included the element of music in this, how music is a comfort and a celebration on its own, but especially here where it also means freedom. And the title leads me to think that you intended us to make the connection between those qualities of music and how happily shared silence between two lovers is its own sort of music.
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deadbeat_nymph on June 20th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 21st, 2007 03:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jas Masson: darkside cookiesjasmasson on June 19th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
Hee! Michael/Lincoln from you!

Very much the best idea ever ;-)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
Very much the best idea ever ;-)
:D Oddly enough, I think that's one of the clearest and most supportive ways Lincoln could ever say that and have Michael know exactly what he means. :)
PamalaX: SExyLincpamalax on June 19th, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
Oh how I've missed your gentle loving hand with these boys :o)

Lovely fic my dear lady!
Thanks.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:48 pm (UTC)
Oh how I've missed your gentle loving hand with these boys :o)

I've missed it too, unfortunately. ;) But you know why...

I'm insanely glad to get any of these stories out at this point-- each one is a tiny little victory! :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
This is the them I really wanted out of season two - the feeling they have here... maybe season three..
It's what I wanted too, and I can't believe the weirdness we got in its place. :(

I tuned in for the brothers, first and foremost, and while I loved many of the side-characters and the audacity of the plot, it was still all about the brothers to me. Where on earth was that dynamic for the bulk of Season 2?

Must stop ranting and hope I can write more of it instead. Glad you liked this one-- it's been awhile!
aeroport_art: Michaelaeroport_art on June 19th, 2007 09:14 pm (UTC)
Favorite line: Michael voice was so wonderfully, meltingly smooth.

Because it's so true! Okay, superficiality aside, this was a lovely little piece. Thanks for writing, hon!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
Because it's so true!
It is-- they both have such great voices, and in completely different ways. I heard a little of Michael's last night, and it was all "Mmmmm... talk more."

I'm glad you liked the story over all. I wish I could get more of these out, but I think you understand the difficulties yourself.
wanton_erato: three quarterwanton_erato on June 19th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
This is just beautiful!

I absolutely love your "Paradise" universe, and I'm so sorry that PB S2 canon messed with your mojo for writing that, although I do totally understand it. (I hope I'm not being too presumptuous there, that's how I understand you feel about it.)

I'm so pleased you've written this gorgeous new story, incorporating so many of the elements of that universe.

And if anyone is worth writing M/L for, it's deadbeat_nymph. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
I absolutely love your "Paradise" universe, and I'm so sorry that PB S2 canon messed with your mojo for writing that, although I do totally understand it. (I hope I'm not being too presumptuous there, that's how I understand you feel about it.)
No, you're correct-- S2 was death for me.

I'd half-expected the Michael/Sara thing, which I knew would be trouble. But I hadn't expected the character drift for Michael. All of the things the writers had him do in service of pursuing Sara were so unlike him (he hardly knew her to begin with, and she became his be-all/end-all overnight). Then there were his other post-escape choices that so often were just stupid. The show seemed to lose all feeling for who Michael was, and my feeling for him went right with it. I've still got a good handle on Lincoln, I think, but Michael became a moving target and that really affected my ability to hear his "voice." So not only did the M/L muse take a hit, but even the Michael and Lincoln Gen stuff became hard to write. *sigh*

I would love to be writing more in the "Paradise" universe (and desperately love to finish "Always"), and I just wish it were coming more easily!

In any case, I'm glad you've enjoyed the previous stories and this one as well, and deadbeat_nymph definitely deserves M/L any day of the week, but especially on her birthday! :)
(no subject) - wanton_erato on June 19th, 2007 10:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 20th, 2007 04:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - wanton_erato on June 20th, 2007 09:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 21st, 2007 03:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
Fabrice Fabrice: Tommyspikapika217 on June 19th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
ooh! What did he want to show him?

X3

Also, wasn't it you that wrote the srory involing our Mikey with the government agent, and Linc being all scary mean against it?

I liked this though.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 19th, 2007 10:27 pm (UTC)
:D Unfortunately, this story is more about the emotion than the sex, so this isn't one of the porny ones! There are many, but sadly not this.

Also, wasn't it you that wrote the srory involing our Mikey with the government agent, and Linc being all scary mean against it?
Nope, not me! Not even sure whether you mean govt. agent Mahone or Kellerman (since it could be either), but Michael/Lincoln is my OTP. Not to mention that, though there are some intriguing possibilities with Mahone/Michael, Mahone's obsession with his ex-wife kind of torpedoes that idea for me (much like Michael/Sucre doesn't work for me either). Sorry!
chanchito_z on June 20th, 2007 12:07 am (UTC)
That was absolutely gorgeous. It was so filled with love and promise, and yet it saddened me because I can't read M/L any more without missing the brothers relationship on the show. Thankfully, there are still authors like you who can give us M/L fans these little bits of bliss. Thank you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB slashhalfshellvenus on June 20th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
and yet it saddened me because I can't read M/L any more without missing the brothers relationship on the show.
Oh, that's exactly the reason I have trouble writing it. And entire season just made for us to see more of them together, see how they work together and maybe discover a little more of their past, and instead... almost nothing after the beginning of the season. They could have been strangers on the run together.

I so miss all the open possibilities of S1, not to mention the feeling of comraderie the two brothers had. Because heaven knows, that's why I loved the show-- it wasn't for the Conspiracy subplot or the road-trip scenes. :)
(no subject) - master_chatnoir on June 22nd, 2007 02:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - chanchito_z on June 22nd, 2007 02:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 23rd, 2007 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on June 23rd, 2007 02:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
Maz (or foxxy!): Brotherly hugtuesdaeschild on June 20th, 2007 04:21 pm (UTC)
You really have a wonderful way of writing M/L without any nudity or smut! Just the suggestion that they're lovers (so cleverly conveyed here!) is pretty damn hot! And you sure don't need the physical to demonstrate their love and their need for each other!

Top job! Especially considering Season 2 Michael got a bit silly...and their relationship became kind of cold because of it! Season 1 Lincoln would never have said "What happened to your face?" in such a dispassionate manner! So I'm really glad to see you back writing these two and still doing it so well!!

Hurrah!! :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on June 20th, 2007 07:28 pm (UTC)
And you sure don't need the physical to demonstrate their love and their need for each other!
This one is all about the emotion, up until the hint at the end, and I personally get a lot out of just that alone. Especially if it's emotional but not mushy, which I hope is true for this one.

Season 1 Lincoln would never have said "What happened to your face?" in such a dispassionate manner!
That was one of the biggest offenses against their relationship of S2-- I don't what the writers were doing there, and I don't like it. And following it up with Michael's "Oh Sara, where is she, my life depends on her" as the boat pulls away was just too much. That single episode was a huge 'Who are these people?' moment for me. Damn the writing in S2!

I'm still struggling against that torpedoing of the characterization, and if I can maintain what a feeling for what should be then I'm just hugely grateful right now.

Glad you think this one succeeded! :)
(no subject) - tuesdaeschild on July 2nd, 2007 08:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
happy is as happy does: brotherly love - ?happywriter06 on June 20th, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
YOU GET IT!! I hope I explain this right So here goes. S2 I felt was lacking the brotherly vibe department. We've talked about that. I just wasn't feeling it, not like in S1. I've been trying to articulate that over at televisionwithoutpity rather unsuccessfully b/c I keep getting accused of being sentimental and stuff like that. (Like there's anything wrong with being sentimental?) I'm not being sentimental. I just want the heart of the show to be honored. So this fic did that even though it was slashy.

Now, with their future ahead of them, it was time to start over. They were free to be anyone but themselves, thanks to the bounty on their heads.
EXACTLY!!! I know they had a lot to think about but I don't know, you're alive and you might not be tomorrow, a little more brotherliness (making up words again) would've been nice. You'd think their relationship would've somewhat evolved from what it used to be.

Riding here beside Michael, Lincoln was already learning new things about them both. He'd already learned from all they'd been through that Michael was far tougher and braver than he'd realized; he wondered if Michael knew that about himself. He was learning a new way of being silent with Michael—one not caused by anger or withdrawing inside himself, but something more peaceful: listening with the heart.
I LOVE THIS PART!! IT'S MY FAVORITE!! I guess this would be hard to convey on screen but it could probably be done. I'm waiting for this.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on June 23rd, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
I've been trying to articulate that over at televisionwithoutpity rather unsuccessfully b/c I keep getting accused of being sentimental and stuff like that. (Like there's anything wrong with being sentimental?)
:0 People are pestering you because... you miss the show's emotional core? The thing that made S1 more than just camp? *boggles* *crazy shippers*

you're alive and you might not be tomorrow, a little more brotherliness (making up words again) would've been nice. You'd think their relationship would've somewhat evolved from what it used to be.
Yes-- or returned to what it used to be. Either way-- I'd like to see some of whatever the hell it was that made Michael risk his life for Lincoln. In a nutshell, the show has never given us the background for why he did that (because "LLI" is not a valid motivation, *koff-koff-koff*). For me, it comes back to Michael loving Lincoln too much (it's the most obvious motivation). And if it isn't that, well... Lincoln has to have some bond with Michael that's deeper than just two guys who used to hang out together because, you know, they grew up in the same house. For awhile. *thinks daggers at S2 writers and TPTB*

I guess this would be hard to convey on screen but it could probably be done. I'm waiting for this.
:D Well, me too. Something that shows that they get each other deep down (including Lincoln understanding what Michael's sacrifice says about the brother that he probably always protected growing up), and that shows they're at ease with each-- that they like each other, they enjoy each other, and that they "click" somewhere down below any unneeded words.

That was what I wanted out of S2, and feel robbed of. When you get right down to it, we're left with "Brother's Keeper" from S1-- where Michael was angry at Lincoln and resentful of his neediness-- and "Have a little faith" after their mother died and Michael's horror-trip through foster care. That's their background, as given by the show. Where is the rest of it?
(no subject) - happywriter06 on June 24th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
dc_longwing on June 21st, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Fantastic with a side of awesomesauce. So hard to pick favorite bits. I could quote the whole thing back at you, or we could sit here for hours, sifting. Here's a big favorite bit:
He was learning a new way of being silent with Michael—one not caused by anger or withdrawing inside himself, but something more peaceful: listening with the heart.

He was learning the depths of Michael's love for him—more than loyalty or forgiveness or anything so ordinary, this was love that saw inside him and embraced every facet and flaw.

Love beyond judgment—love beyond desire.

Lincoln found his love for Michael demanded that he become worthy of that. He finally felt he could…

"What're you thinking about?" Michael's voice broke through Lincoln's reflections, a smile teasing the corner of his mouth.

"You. Me. Us," Lincoln answered. "The good stuff, of course."

Damn, girl. While the show has lost much of what we loved about it, I still love YOUR visions of them as much as I ever did. Looking forward to reading whatever unfinished stuff you're working on. :: hums quietly to self; jiggles foot ::
Thanks,
DC
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on June 23rd, 2007 02:16 am (UTC)
While the show has lost much of what we loved about it, I still love YOUR visions of them as much as I ever did.
And that's the part that has been so hard to get in touch with, thanks to the more "distant" relationship between them in late S2 and Michael just being unrecognizable. At this point, I just want to maintain my view of them without losing it. I'm actually glad for the hiatus right now, to recover from the derailment for awhile.

Looking forward to reading whatever unfinished stuff you're working on. :: hums quietly to self; jiggles foot ::
:D You and everyone else have been very, very patient where the Lincoln & Michael fics are concerned. I'll try to get them to speak to me more often, now that the show isn't undermining me every week. :0