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09 May 2007 @ 05:28 pm
Fun Meme  
Got this one from pamalax and several others:

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Got anything for me? Plz, comment below! I've written several already. :0

*

In other news, I'm still working through the 37+ stories from the last round of the Prison Break Fic Exchange. I've been stuck for ages near the beginning on A Slice Of Respect, and the problem is that I like it too much. I love the tone, the dry humor, the angle on it, the Sara characterization. It's the kind of story that makes me go nuts in the comments, and that's what's holding me back-- there's TOO much to say, and I never finish it! I think I just need to get over myself and post a short squee over it and move on. :(

Tonight's Lost: will I be writing fic or not? Last week I'd planned to, but then the Sawyer story turned into a Locke story, and I wound up watching it for real! D'OH! I find Sawyer hot (this is another hormone vs. brain problem again-- the brain is not interested in blondes. Or bad boys.) but his story bores me. I perk up for Locke, Mr. Eko, Sayid, Michael, Sun, Jin, Claire, and Juliet. Hobbit-Jack-Sawyer-Kate-S3Bimbs are ZZZzzzzz...

UPDATE! Some story snippets below the cuts:


Prison Break/Bollywood Crossover for thelana: Unchain My Heart

The sun shines through a barred-up window, highlighting the pretty features of Michael Scofield, as he enters his new cell. His arms are laden with bedding and a prison-issue change of clothes, and his muscular cellmate steps forward and begins to sing:
      "Never thought I'd find true love
      inside an iron cage.
      Got you where I want you now
      no need to be afraid…"
Scofield joins in for the duet,
      "It isn't, shouldn't be like this--
      it's much too soon to know.
      But somehow I am drawn to you,
      the way your dark eyes glow…"

The duet ends with shy glances and half-hidden smiles, and the camera pans out through the bars of the cell and over the edge of the upper row to the floor below. There, T-Bag and Abruzzi stand in the center of the floor, facing off and holding pieced-together shivs. They turn and shimmy, turn and shimmy, as music builds up in the background.

Cue: Group A inmates in uniform, Group B inmates with bedsheets for large opening production number:
     Shank-a locka, shank-a locka,
     ooh, I want to cut ya.
     Shank-a locka, shank-a locka,
     in this prison town…"
Group A inmates move at the edges of the square around Abruzzi and T-Bag, doing sashay-sashay-pull-spin, sashay-sashay-pull-spin with the sheets in time to the music. Group B inmates move in opposite direction inside the inner square, doing sidekick-left, sidekick-right, hop, hop, spin in repetition. Music continues to the bridge, where prison guards move in from each of the four corners to the center, beating T-Bag and Abruzzi with cudgels on the off-beats. -------- ///

~~*~~


Jared/Jensen/Christian Kane for lissa_bear: The Sum Of All Bad Ideas (NC-17)

It's not like he and Jared have a thing going. Everybody thinks they do, but everybody's wrong—they're just friends. Good friends, sure, and they like each other a lot but that's it. Just. Friends.

The part where he's all clinging onto Jared in public doesn't mean a thing. Jensen's got this problem with crowds and public appearances, and Jared's really sturdy and damn if he doesn't love to talk. So if, God forbid, Jensen should clam up suddenly, well—the silence won't last long. Like, at all.

So this is how he and Jared and Chris wind up drinking in Jensen's apartment one Saturday afternoon, and things get totally out of hand. First, Jensen's laughing at some stupid joke and leaning into Chris a little too much. Then Chris kisses him on the nose and then the mouth, and just stays there way too long.

When Jensen freezes, Chris strokes lazily down around his backside and says, "I haven't fucked this ass since last summer, and damn if I haven't missed it."

Jensen's too dumbfounded to lie his way through that one, and all he can manage is, "Jesus, Jared's sitting right here!"

"Jared don't mind, now do you son? Or you can join right in," and Chris' mouth eats up Jensen's protests.

"Yeah." Jared's voice is breathless to Jensen's ears.

"Now I know you've got that lube around here somewhere, boy. Time to use it," Chris mutters against Jensen's lips.

"I'll go track it down-- you two start without me," and then Jared's gone.

Before long, Chris has Jensen bent over the arm of the sofa, thrusting in nice and slow. Jared slides down the seat cushions and lies there in front of Jensen, legs spread and just waiting for Jensen to take control.

It's like he can't say No, like he's lost all sense completely the way his mind's buzzing and his ass is tingling and Jared's all flushed and leaking and watching him with hopeful eyes. So Jensen gives in to all that temptation, with lips and tongue and spit-slick fingers.

Then the world is sex and sweat and semen in a Southern Comfort haze where all the sounds are C'mon now, boy and Yes. ----------///

~~*~~


Mahone/Michael for deadbeat_nymph: Common Paths (PG-13)

It's funny that after so much chasing and battling of wits-- so much animosity-- they would wind up together. More alike than different, they finally finished on the same side. Now they spent their time exploring each other both mind and body…

"I want you to tell me what each of these tattoos mean."

Michael smiled. "You already know what they mean—you decoded half of them. Streets intersecting the prison, phone numbers, New Mexico coordinates…"

"What about the angel and the devil? Symbolism? These mountains—what do they represent?"

"Those are pathways through the prison—blueprints. The wall behind my cell starts here, see? And then it goes across and runs down and… Alex. I can't think anymore when you're doing that with your tongue."

"Just following along behind you."

"Oh. Okay. So, the tunnel to the, uh, Warden's Office finishes here. There's also this secondary connection to the… Alex, why'd you stop?"

"I can't think when I'm listening to your voice. It's incredible—God."

"Then just for now, you follow along while I trace the routes with my finger."

"Scofield, you've got a deal." -------- ///

~~*~~


Sara/Nika role-switching femmeslash for mercurybard: After Hours (PG-13)

There's no pillar or pole in Sara's apartment, so she uses the doorway instead.

Sliding down slowly, angling sideways to catch Nika's eye, she rises up again and arches her back. Her hair spills out in an arc as she swings her head side-to-side, all sultry seduction.

"You realize I'll have to examine your spine," Nika purrs.

"I don't have insurance..." Sara slips her blouse off her shoulders, easing it down and letting it slip to the floor.

Nika holds a bill out, folded and ready and twirls the end of her stethoscope. "We'll take it out in trade." ---------///

~~*~~


T-Bag having Godzilla's Baby for mercurybard: Certain Obligations (PG)

~~ NOTE: If you're wondering what the heck this is about, it would be a sequel to this CrackFic story.~~


"What's this, now?"

"Rrrr."

"That's very kind of you, but I couldn't possibly. It's much too big to eat. You go on ahead."

"RRRAARGGGHH!"

"Oh, I see—this is yours. Well. Funny, I always took you for a boy-lizard, but appearances can be deceiving, I guess. "

"Urrr-urrrrr."

"Do what now? Really, I don't believe that'll help—it's the size of a house. And besides, I might fall off."

"Rrrraaarrr!"

"Oh all right, though I feel awfully silly-- can't keep anything warm doing this."

"Rrrrr-m-rrrrr."

"You're welcome, I suppose. If the folks back home could only see me now, stuck here trying to hug a giant egg…" --------///



 
 
 
The Good, The Bad and The Lanathelana on May 9th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)
Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

A Prison Break/Bollywood crossover featuring dancing!
A Sam/Dean BDSM epic!
A hardcore T-Bag/LJ/Nika threesome!

Wait, these are too cruel. I shall think of others.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Venushalfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
Wait, these are too cruel. I shall think of others.

*waits* ...

I can't actually imagine how to do the Bollywood one well, because of all the music and dancing... Damn if it doesn't tempt me, though. :0
(no subject) - thelana on May 9th, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deadbeat_nymph on May 9th, 2007 09:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - merctales on May 9th, 2007 10:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on May 10th, 2007 04:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - merctales on May 10th, 2007 05:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 10:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thelana on May 10th, 2007 04:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on May 9th, 2007 07:31 pm (UTC)
You want titles or summaries of these fics you'll never write?

Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on May 9th, 2007 07:34 pm (UTC)
Just gonna follow thelana's lead...

- Jared/Jensen/Chris Kane three-way
- Jensen/Sandra McCoy
- Dean/Jo PWP

How much do you hate me right now?
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 07:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on May 9th, 2007 07:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 07:35 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on May 9th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lissa_bear on May 9th, 2007 07:47 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Deadbeat Nymph: puckerdeadbeat_nymph on May 9th, 2007 08:22 pm (UTC)
Wait, what are you stuck on from the last PBFE? I'm confused.

For your consideration:

- Michael/Mahone (anything slashy)
- Michael/Lincoln/any other PB character threeway
- Michael and Lincoln prepubescent game of 'doctor'

Damn. I don't even know if I could do that last one... Oh, whatever - I totally could. Of course, that's not the point of this exercise... ;D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Wait, what are you stuck on from the last PBFE? I'm confused.
I was about to fix that (no title for the link) when someone came by and distracted me, and then I had to get out for a ride. It's A Slice Of Respect, and it's one of the earlier stories. Really like the 50-70% I've read of it. :)

Now I have to ponder which of these to do. I'll ping you when it's finished...
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deadbeat_nymph on May 10th, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
merctales on May 9th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
Nika/Sara where Sara tries stripping and Nika "plays doctor"

T-bag having Godzilla's love-child
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Casthalfshellvenus on May 9th, 2007 10:39 pm (UTC)
What was the third one? :0
(no subject) - mercurybard on May 10th, 2007 04:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - merctales on May 10th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mercurybard on May 10th, 2007 04:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mercurybard on May 10th, 2007 05:17 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 05:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - mercurybard on May 10th, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Are we back to hos over bros?lissa_bear on May 10th, 2007 02:03 am (UTC)
Holy. Mother. Of. God.

For someone who's squicked by threesomes, you sure did nail that one right on the sweet spot! Seriously hot! And your Chris voice? Guh. Perfect. You've rendered me incapable of coherent thought.

I bow down to your supreme awesomeness!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: JSquaredLovehalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 04:45 am (UTC)
:D It's the ruining of the J/J OTP, and then the fact that it's basically all sluttiness that makes threesomes a "No" for me even when they're Slash.

But as you can see... I found a way to work around that. And then there was p0rn! :0
angels3angels3 on May 10th, 2007 04:51 am (UTC)
Sighs I'm all depressed
I wanted to watch and I obviously didn't get there in time. Loved it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: JSquaredLovehalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:17 am (UTC)
Re: Sighs I'm all depressed
I can only guess that you're talking about the Jared/Jensen/Chris Kane one. :D

We're lucky there was that much detail at all... :0
jeyhawk: supernatural: jensen redjeyhawk on May 10th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
I think you just proved there might be nothing you'd never ever write. ;0)

That was a great bunch of snippets. *grins*

How about... Alec from Dark Angel and Michael Scofield... From what I'm hearing they might not be that different. Genetic engineering and all. :0)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: MichaelInBarshalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
From what I'm hearing they might not be that different. Genetic engineering and all. :0)
Heh-heh!

I don't remember Alec all that well, though-- my OTP was Max/Logan, and I watched the shown when it first aired, so it's been years.

Others, just in case? I've already done Jensen/Wentworth, so we can't say I never write that. ;)
PamalaX: Alexnekkidpamalax on May 10th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
Yummmy!!! Alex/Michael slash needs to be on the list of the things you do write!!

And really you can NEVER go wrong with T Bag and Godzilla :)

Nothing but love for that one OTP.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: TBag-Zilla OTPhalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
Alex/Michael slash needs to be on the list of the things you do write!!
When Mahone was first introduced, there seemed to be some possibilities there. But his epic love for his wife, and the way he keeps betraying Michael, makes that not work for me! Hence the far-into-the-future setting. In terms of being mentally sympatico, though-- wow. Match made in heaven there!

Nothing but love for that one OTP.
Apparently mercurybard agrees, because she can't have picked that idea without a reason!

Now I've got this image in my head of T-Bag plastered to a giant egg like a cartoon character splatted against a wall. :0
bluesister on May 10th, 2007 06:30 pm (UTC)
I think you just reached the pinacle of your fanfic career with that PB/Bollywood one. Wow.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: PB Final Hughalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
Just when I think I can't write any weirder, something like THAT prompt comes along.

If only I'd ever seen more than 1 Bollywood movie and thelana's pictures-- I can't even tell if it's on target!
(no subject) - thelana on May 10th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
like a motherfucking stoner praetoriusstephanometra on May 10th, 2007 09:42 pm (UTC)
More like The Sum of The Best Ideas Ever in the History of Ideas. Nnnggh.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: JSquaredLovehalfshellvenus on May 10th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
:D If only I didn't have that Jensen/Jared OTP problem.

But! Overcame it long enough to p0rn and then some.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Your vicious babushka icon still cracks me up. :) Plus the tag line makes it seem like she's a babushka-shark that no-one notices until it's much too late...
I can read Sam's mindwendy on May 11th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
"I haven't fucked this ass since last summer, and damn if I haven't missed it."

*flail* LORD.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: JSquaredLovehalfshellvenus on May 11th, 2007 09:59 pm (UTC)
:D Thought you might like that snippet. That line alone just conjures up an entire wealth of visuals for me... Rrrawr!
happy is as happy does: Sara bad blood - asian soulhappywriter06 on May 12th, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
Nika/Sara? Should I be concerned about my excitement in wanting to read that? Probably. Great little snippet.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sarahalfshellvenus on May 12th, 2007 02:39 am (UTC)
:D You probably should, but then again, I wrote it. Sooo...

It was one of the more *koff* coherent ones, too. ;)