?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
08 April 2007 @ 11:56 pm
Supernatural Gen Humor: Taste The Toxic Rainbow  
Title: Taste The Toxic Rainbow
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (Gen, Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary: All-dialogue fic: New holiday, and a new hangup for Dean.
Author's Notes: Birthday humor for gekizetsu! You probably wanted porn, but the occasion seemed to call for a different sort of story instead. Hope it's not too… disturbing. ;)

x-x-x-x-x

"Jesus, will you look at these? That's an unnatural color for a chicken if I ever saw one."

"What, lavender?"

"No, the red. Makes me think of some kind of blood sacrifice."

"You're serious."

"About this? Hell yes. And there's so damn many of them—it's like they're self-replicating."

"Dean…"

"Hey, they creep me out, okay? There's more of them every year—new holidays, new shapes and colors. It starts getting a little crowded after awhile, is all I'm saying."

"God, Dean, they're just Peeps. They're not exactly sinister."

"What if they are? Ever wonder where they came from? No normal person thinks up something like that."

"Yes, only a mind of twisted evil would invent candy made of marshmallow coated in colored sugar."

"Don't call them that."

"What?"

"Don't say 'candy.' They're too disgusting to even think about eating."

"What, like this?"

"Christ, put it down, Sam—we haven't even paid for that."

"They'll ring it up later. Mmmm-mmmm-mmm..."

"God, that's gross. You had to pick the blue? The dye they use for that's gotta be toxic."

"I call it tasty. And crunchy. Say, these look good, too."

"No, not the—"

"Mmmm…"

"Those are the worst ones of all!"

"Wo myeh?"

"Great, your mouth's all vampire-red now. Thanks a lot."

"Welcome. How about pink?"

"No."

"Definitely pink. Mmmm."

"Ack. You know, I'm getting a little, um…"

"Lunchtime?"

"Jesus, no!"

"Sure?"

"Yeah. I, uh, hmmm… You know what? I'll be over in the tool department."

"Okay. I'll save you the lavender ones."

"On second thought, I'm going to lie down in the car."

"We'll meet you out there."

"What do you mean 'we'? Ack— Sam! Close your mouth, for crying out loud!"

"Mmmmmwah-ha-ha…"

"That's it—you owe me a new stomach."

"Wussie."

"Freak."


-------- fin --------




 
 
 
she said mysteriouslyresounding_echo on April 9th, 2007 07:05 am (UTC)
I love that this is all-dialogue. Hightens the humor.

Also? Fucking peeps, I hate 'em.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 07:18 am (UTC)
:D I've only ever written one other all-dialogue piece that wasn't a drabble, and I kind of like the challenge of showing the horrific action through the dialogue.

I find Peeps a little disturbing. Not as much as fiddleyoumust who really does hate them, or a couple of folks in my office (I bought them both the nearly-fluorescent lavender Peeps one year-- did you know Peeps will become like concrete over time?). But gah-- the concept. The colors. I saw the red chicks this year at Target, and thought, "Now that is just weirdly and entirely wrong." :0
(no subject) - resounding_echo on April 9th, 2007 07:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - resounding_echo on April 9th, 2007 07:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
aeroport_artaeroport_art on April 9th, 2007 07:15 am (UTC)
Cute!!

"Mmmmmwah-ha-ha…"
Aahahahha I can totally imagine Sammy doing this.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 07:20 am (UTC)
Aahahahha I can totally imagine Sammy doing this.
Oh god, me too. Dean's issues are so random and weird-- how could you not just wade on in and irritate him with them more?

Sammy's sweet, but he's no saint. ;) Thank goodness for that!
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:34 pm (UTC)
I find the concept of them odd, as I'm an Aussie.
I'm an American, and I still find them odd.

Marshmallow shapes in colored sugar. First, they're marshmallow. With no chocolate. And when you add the sugar to the outside, it's as if your teeth are already screaming a tooth-decay warning.

And they used to be, I think, just an Easter thing (not when I was a kid, I don't think, but now). They've branched out to any seasonal holiday, I swear-- including virulent green Frankenstein Peeps at Halloween and screamy-red hearts at Valentine's Day.

Still freaky. And yucky. ;)
Princess Robot Bubblegum!astrothsknot on April 9th, 2007 10:32 am (UTC)
Hee! Now you need to write a fic where a girl or Sam will give Dean a blow job, but only with a load of half-eaten Peeps in her mouth.

I'm gross. I don't care.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:35 pm (UTC)
but only with a load of half-eaten Peeps in her mouth.
Ack! The visuals! You know that bits of Peeps would come out stuck to the skin as it moved in and out. Yick!

Where's the brain bleach? I need it!
mre_quecky: Dean cookiesmre_quecky on April 9th, 2007 10:46 am (UTC)
Oh yes, that's funny. Though must ask: What are Peeps???
Coz in Germany I've never heard of them...

btw: Aussies also aren't always good in taste: When I was in Sydney for three month of course I had to eat Vegemite, yak!!!
Though I must say the cheese you got Down Under and in the USA is even worse!!! You should take lessons from the Dutch or the French!!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:43 pm (UTC)
Peeps are marshmallow shapes covered with colored sugar. People either love them or hate them, but I find them nasty. And the colors are often unnatural, to say the least.

Here's the website for these, though apparently the scary-red chick-peeps are only available at Target stores in the U.S.

They were apparently created by Haribo, which is a-- wait for it-- German candy company located in Bonn. :0

The irony!
(no subject) - mre_quecky on April 15th, 2007 11:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN Dean ooh scarydeirdre_c on April 9th, 2007 11:50 am (UTC)
Peeps! I'm with Dean. *shudder* Their dead, dead eyes, they follow me.

(So cute, hon! ♥)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:44 pm (UTC)
Their dead, dead eyes, they follow me.
:D And the colors-- so disturbing. The green is unnatural enough, but the red-- it looks poisonous. :0
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

I don't do these very often, but they make for such a nice challenge sometimes. Plus, subject matter-- the "ick" is what really counts, and you can't get much better than Dean's obvious horror over what he's seeing. :0
Grumble grumble: Oh NOESvorpalblades on April 9th, 2007 12:32 pm (UTC)
Hehe. Why can I imagine Dean having nightmares about the Four HorsePeeps of the Apocalypse?

Cute fic!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
Why can I imagine Dean having nightmares about the Four HorsePeeps of the Apocalypse?
Ha-ha!

There's actually a very loooong and extensive pictography of "Lord of the Peeps" that someone created. It's impressively detailed. And long. Did I mention long? :D
tyricaltyrical on April 9th, 2007 02:04 pm (UTC)
I agree Peeps are really not natural.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)
:D They were unnatural to begin with, but the newer colors have made them even more so. The red is disturbing, and the green Frankenstein color is toxic-looking!

This is on top of the neon-lavender and blue that have been around for awhile already... :0
cindy: spn - shoulder nudge (by carmendove)tsuki_no_bara on April 9th, 2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
mmmm, peeps.... i'm with sam. and i think they need to find a motel room with a kitchenette with a microwave, so dean can nuke the sugary little bastards. >:D

also? HEEE.
girlguidejonesgirlguidejones on April 9th, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
I was *totally* thinking the same thing. Hee.

Fun little story, halfshellvenus!
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - tsuki_no_bara on April 9th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
we're all mad hererelativity1953 on April 9th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
I just noticed the red peeps this year (don't know if they were around before) - they really creeped me out.
we're all mad hererelativity1953 on April 9th, 2007 03:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, and I know people who would consider it gross to eat the peeps right from the package. There are people in my very own family who have a 'system' when it comes to peeps - apparently, you have to open one end of the package, put them back in your basket, put the basket on top of the fridge (I am not sure why), and then wait a week. I have had 'the rules' listed for me on several occasions. What they fail to notice is that I refuse to eat them anyway!
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
IDK, my BFF Jared Leto?gekizetsu on April 9th, 2007 04:13 pm (UTC)
::screams::

>>"Those are the worst ones of all!"

"Wo myeh?"

"Great, your mouth's all vampire-red now. Thanks a lot.">>

HAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE YOU. This happened, I KNOW it did. Dean would think Peeps are evil! Sam would lick the bottoms and stick them all over the windshield. XDDDDDD

LOVE.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 08:33 pm (UTC)
Dean would think Peeps are evil! Sam would lick the bottoms and stick them all over the windshield. XDDDDDD
Hahaha! Oh, I can just see that-- all over the Sacred Impala. Dean would absolutely die, and while he was spazzing all over the floor the sun would melt the Peeps onto the shiny black finish. Auuggggh!

So glad you liked it. :) Somehow, I couldn't help but think that having your birthday approaching while the scary Peeps mount up in stores would lead a person to hate the creatures mightily.

To the microwave! Charge!

angels3angels3 on April 9th, 2007 07:33 pm (UTC)
This was great
but you know you could have still done the porn. Sam could have eaten them off of Dean's body. I also left feedback of a different nature at the ff site. I enjoyed this story it was funny.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 9th, 2007 08:36 pm (UTC)
Re: This was great
Sam could have eaten them off of Dean's body.
:0 Because I dislike Peeps myself (and someone on my f-list is absolutely grossed-out by them), the combo of Peeps and porn does not occur to me. More like, Peeps and Pepto Bismal. :0

I didn't know you had kids of your own as well! My daughter loves the Peeps (to eat, as well as for their cuteness), so I buy blue bunnies for the Easter baskets. My son wonders why the heck the Easter Bunny brings him those disgusting things, but it's better than wondering whether the E.B. was faaaaair instead. *eye roll*
Re: This was great - angels3 on April 9th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Nutty, the slightly unstable dwarf: gringumnut on April 9th, 2007 11:02 pm (UTC)
::giggles:: That was a laugh.

Thanks for writing and being so evil to Dean :D

Nutty
(who enjoyed that)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 10th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
Hee-hee!

You're very welcome. And honestly, Dean makes such a great straight-man for humor sometimes. He does it to himself. :D
iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on April 10th, 2007 03:53 am (UTC)
This was a most amusing ficlet. *g* Put a big smile on my face. I love Sam tormenting Dean with the Peep eating.

Favorite lines:

"Yes, only a mind of twisted evil would invent candy made of marshmallow coated in colored sugar."

LOL!

"Don't say 'candy.' They're too disgusting to even think about eating."

"What, like this?"


*snickers* Get down with your icky self, Sam. *high-fives him*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 10th, 2007 06:31 am (UTC)
*snickers* Get down with your icky self, Sam. *high-fives him*

XD I know enough people who hate Peeps just on principle. The idea of actually _eating_ them is beyond disgusting!

And yet, I cheer for Sam, because it makes Dean flail and that is always funny in my book. ;)
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on April 11th, 2007 12:31 am (UTC) (Expand)