Supernatural 2.17, "Heart" ramblings:
First, let me say up front... I didn't watch the "Sam" scene (you know the one) with all the attentive detail that most of you seem to have. It's like the "Dean" scene in Route 666. If it were slash, I wouldn't be able to look away. When it's Het, I sometimes get embarassed, and peek back periodically. Hence, all those positions and other stuff you noticed? I didn't. Plus my husband kept going in and out of the room.
I spent roughly 40 minutes trying to figure out who the guest-actress looked like-- an actress from the early 80s who was in "Streets of Fire" and that campy "gang" movie people made such a stink about. I finally got it-- Deborah Van Valkenburgh! Whew. Relieved now. (and cursing every actor who does NOT have their picture up on imdb.com, so you could all see what I mean).
Random love for why it took Dean so incredibly long to pick up on the concept of "one of those guys who'll hit on anybody at a bar," and for losing at "Rock, Paper, Scissors" twice. Even after Sam pointed out Dean's predictability. Don't know whether Dean thought he was being all tricky the second time, or whether he did it on purpose to let Sam have a chance at the girl (since Sam's always missing out by choice).
The ending.... god, the ending.
Sam's heartache over killing Madison was perfect, and devastating. I was so pleased that he actually did it, though-- that he followed through on the hard choice rather than pawning it off on Dean. Adn then part of me wished he had let Dean do it instead, because Sam had a bond with that girl and it was just too much.
My takeaway from that scene was along the lines of Dean's perspective: "See now what you asked me to do? Do you see why I couldn't?"
But reading other people's journals, the different question of Sam's perspective came up: "I hate this, and it's destroying me to do it, but it still has to be done, no matter what. Are you watching this, Dean? I expect you to do the same."
Now I'm more angsty than ever over the implications of that.
What Sam doesn't seem to see, even now, is that for Dean there's the rest of the world and there's SamAndDad. They're completely separate entities, and he doesn't even try to treat them the same.
For Sam, there's family and there's this larger humanity. Both are more connected to each other than they are for Dean, because Sam can't help that. He's walking sympathy, and I love that about him. So does everyone the two of them meet-- it's practically written on his furrowed little forehead.
After that awful, awful gunshot, you know there was hug at the end and a lot of falling apart. *waits for someone to write that scene*
For some reason, that trip to imdb.com inspired me to see who has my same birthday, and the answer is as usual: practically nobody!
Actually, there's more than I thought: John Lithgow (gah!), Evander Holyfield, and Ty Pennington (ack!), and Lionel Hollins of the NBA-title-winning Trailblazers team. On the flip side, Edna St. Vincent Millay and Walt Kelly died on my birthday. Otherwise, it's a neverending trip through the land of "Huh? Who are these people?" A lot of Eastern Europeans in those lists... I guess they've found a good way to handle those cold winters.
Now, the very next day is considerably busier: Rimbaud, Charles Ives (composer), Bela Lugosi (!), Art Buchwald, Mickey Mantle, Tom Petty, Viggo Mortensen, and it dies down after that except for Alona Tal, but seriously world-- WTF?
Well, that's me, I guess. Always slightly out of step! :D