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24 February 2007 @ 01:44 pm
Supernatural Het Fiction: The Secret Language Of Strangers  
Title: The Secret Language Of Strangers
Author: HalfshellVenus
Pairing: Dean/OFC (Het)
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers and/or Warnings: I said Het, peoples.
Summary: Atmospheric PWP. Someone notices Dean from afar, and in time he notices her.
Author's Notes: A new style, and a different type of story for me. I'm expanding my horizons by doing Het (as threatened), and OFC all in one. Written for 60_minute_fics for the prompt of "What's In A Name." I chose Mireille, with a French-Provencal origin assumed to mean "to admire." The reason behind why I looked for that name would entirely ruin the mood of this story.

x-x-x-x-x

She'd seen him from across the restaurant, long about noon. He was there with another man—someone tall and worried-looking, altogether far too serious about something.

They were strangers, of course. Everybody knew everyone in this town, knew their parents and where they lived. Half the time people knew your middle name, even if it seemed you'd never told anyone.

Strangers attracted notice. And this one in particular would have stood out anywhere he happened to be.

It wasn't his smile—he looked better when he didn't smile, and she'd never met anyone like that before. His face was, well… perfect, is what it was. Sort of unreal, like a movie star. Not the kind of person who came rolling through their town, not at all.

She couldn't have been more surprised when the two of them showed up on her doorstep, asking questions.

Mrs. Bisbe, they said. The woman next door who'd died in her bathtub two weeks back. Did she have any relatives, any enemies? Had there been anyone strange hanging around?

She couldn't help smiling, wondering where they were from. Anyone who didn't belong she'd have noticed, and then there was familiar-strange, like the Tibbets' oldest boy, Blake. She didn't suppose he counted, though, because he'd lived here always, and he was more of a peeper than anything.

And enemies, well honestly. Little old biddy-spats over church socials and book clubs hardly counted as enemies. Sometimes a person just got old…

"If you think of anything else, you let us know." He'd given her a card marked Dean Weston, Private Detective.

"I surely will," she said softly, though it wouldn't have given her the excuse to phone him up for the reasons she wanted too.

The other man—Sam Oxford, he'd said he was—just seemed oddly uncomfortable. His eyes kept flicking over to the "Dean" one, like he was about to say something wrong. Seemed like they were guilty of something, those two.

She locked her doors when they left.

It was only hours later, when her block of medical transcripts was typed up and ready for delivery, that he came back again alone.

She opened the door, though she'd been taught to know better.

"What's your name?" was the first thing he asked her. His voice was much deeper than she'd thought when he was standing on her porch earlier.

"Mireille," she said. There was a story behind it, but she was tired of wading through that nonsense when it really only amounted to her mother liking all things French. Twenty-six years later, that name was still fanciful instead of inspired.

"Mir-elle," he pressed onward, "Do you like me?"

And of course, she answered "Yes."

This was not the sort of thing she ever did—she was cautious in her way. Perhaps it was because he was quiet with her instead of false and flirtatious, the way she'd expected from someone who looked like that.

Perhaps it was her own quiet way that made him so.

His hand touched her arm, and reason was lost.

His face was so still, so softly serious. He was careful when he kissed her, letting her decide whether she wanted more. That he never pushed, that he brushed her skin with fingers that marveled along the way—holding her neck so gently as he tipped his head against her and caressed her mouth before covering it with his own—the choice was made by a part of herself she rarely listened to.

Her instincts told her she could afford, for once, to let go.

In her own bedroom, upstairs where the light fell like snowflakes through the white lace curtains, he pulled her close. He looked into her eyes, like he was seeing all the way down inside her and letting her see him in return. She sensed that something was there—a hint of mystery, but nothing that belonged to now.

They had the shyness not of strangers, but of something within themselves. They made love with a slow kind of tenderness that made sure that neither of them would break.

Afterwards, they lay together in the dappled sun-and-shadows drifting through the windows as early evening came on. She stroked his face as they smiled softly at each other.

He was gone within the hour, but she could still feel his touch electrifying her body like the air in a lightning-filled sky.

She didn't expect to see him again—she had never let herself be that naïve, no matter how she was raised.

Later that night, she heard a noise that didn’t belong in the insect-driven symphony of the outdoors. She crept to the window to take a look, searching the ground, the trees and the air.

It came entirely as a surprise that his face was thirty feet away, behind the glass of Mrs. Bisbe's upstairs window inside that locked-up house.

When he turned her way and saw her, he at least had the grace to look embarrassed.


-------- fin --------




 
 
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable womenmissyjack on February 24th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)
love what you've acheived here. An outsiders POV on the boys always excites me, and i like the insight we get into the narrator as well. And the writing is just exquisite - like this insightful line:
They had the shyness not of strangers, but of something within themselves.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 11:13 pm (UTC)
An outsiders POV on the boys always excites me,
And that part's as new for me as anything. I've written little snippets of known POVs, like Missouri or John or Bobby, but not someone entirely outside.

Just the small things, like the strangeness of their questions about something that seems so ordinary to other people (we've seen it again and again on the show) kind of intrigues me. And the sense that they're hiding something-- not necessarily threatening or important to a given person, but it's something.

And the writing is just exquisite - like this insightful line:
They had the shyness not of strangers, but of something within themselves.

Thank you so much! That part was really fun-- this is the "voice" of someone who is from a different American culture than my own, and exploring the style of speech and pace and ideas was really refreshing.

Seems odd to say so, but it's one of the things I enjoyed most about writing that 5-part T-Bag epic. That Southern narrative voice is so rich and soothing, and not at all like where I'm from. Just as a writer's exercise, it's a nice change. :)

Thanks for being brave enough to read the dreaded het. :D

And the style, too.
angels3angels3 on February 24th, 2007 11:12 pm (UTC)
OMG you did Het people
It was really a beautiful piece. I loved it the story was quiet but intense in it's own way.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 11:21 pm (UTC)
Re: OMG you did Het people
I did, as threatened!

Just for a change, really, and exploring the "tone" of this different POV was really enjoyable-- fleshing out a different style of narrative than I'm used to or even that's terribly familiar.

loved it the story was quiet but intense in it's own way.
It's really all about the atmosphere, isn't it? Kind of a lazy sunny-day sort of feeling...
she said mysteriously: touch meresounding_echo on February 24th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
I give you: my het icon \0/
Yay for stepping into new territory. I liked this. The feel was different, but it still felt like one of your's, you know?

I liked that it was from her perspective--it's interesting to see our boys through new lenses (we fans have become much too jaded comfortable).

And the ending? Nice.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)
Re: I give you: my het icon \0/
The feel was different, but it still felt like one of your's, you know?
I have such a quiet tone so often-- I sometimes think I should sit down and try to write something in choppy sentences that lack subjects, verbs and adjectives. :)

I liked that it was from her perspective--
That was new too-- I don't really write the outsider perspective, but it gives such a different tone. And for het, well, definitely needs to be from the female's POV or I'm all Ewwww about it. :0

And the ending? Nice.
:D Such a routine thing for them, and so very wrong from anybody else's perspective.

Your het icon scares me-- it looks like "Salome" or somethingy. :0
Re: I give you: my het icon \0/ - resounding_echo on February 25th, 2007 06:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I give you: my het icon \0/ - halfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I give you: my het icon \0/ - resounding_echo on February 25th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
Re: I give you: my het icon \0/ - halfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 08:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
Daea Nereem: spn ceeekkkkk Deannereem on February 25th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC)
I wont lie, i'm not a strong het fan reader. But i am a fan of your style. You and Mooyoo i have probably read all of what i can, twice over ;)

I really like the name Mireille :) and i liked the softness you wrote in the piece. Even the character flare that we all assume in Dean with his "sex cap" on (and haaaa, how bad does THAT sound out loud?) but i mean, we all think Dean is like "switch on" lets do it, kthxbye. Its nice to see that he's a pro at it without being an actual PRO ;) I'm not explaining myself very well. Darn brain! I liked that he's sensitive, even if its something he's striving for, something he wants and might need. Andi like the quirky ending- very typical and true :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 12:18 am (UTC)
I wont lie, i'm not a strong het fan reader.
Oh, me either. This is why it's a stretch to write it-- I can hardly stand to read it, and so making it work is definitely a challenge.

I really like the name Mireille :)
It's very pretty isn't it? It's the name of one of our family Tooth Fairies, and I wanted to see if it was actually a real name. ;) Not only was it, but its meaning was really well-suited to the mood of this piece.

and i liked the softness you wrote in the piece.
That atmosphere really came with the tone, and the idea to take a different approach with Dean from how we usually see him.

I liked that he's sensitive, even if its something he's striving for, something he wants and might need.
There are parts of Dean that are like that (with Cassie, or with Lucas' mother), and I liked the idea that he might call on a different facet of himself to match the mood of the person he wants. He can be quiet with her, and slow, and he's still getting what he wants in the end. At his best, he's that adaptable. At his worst, he stomps all over the situation (the grieving father in "CSPWDT", for instance).

And i like the quirky ending- very typical and true :)
:D That just seemed to fit here. He and Sam are doing what they do, but my goodness-- it's so far out of bounds from a normal person's perspective. :0
Trystan: Dean & ...trystan830 on February 25th, 2007 02:20 am (UTC)
oh i love this. :D

and there's nothing wrong with het. :P
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)
Thank you, Trystan!

and there's nothing wrong with het. :P
It's just honestly not my cup of tea, which is why writing it is a different world entirely. :) But there are plenty of people who are mad for it, I know.
(no subject) - trystan830 on February 25th, 2007 04:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - trystan830 on February 25th, 2007 09:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 06:47 am (UTC)
don't know if that's just from being so used to seeing them together or the mere fact that sex with anyone outside their "world" (ie. as hunters) seems like such a risk
Het honestly usually squicks me (probably comes as a shock, since I wrote it), so it's often awkward to me.

But one of the reasons I think you mean regarding this is that a female "romantic" character is necessarily peripheral to the story and to the boys' lives, because that's not where their focus is for any length of time. And here, the boys are peripheral to the narrator's story-- as they would be. They're passing through, she doesn't know them well (certainly knows they won't be staying), and she only has fleeing impressions of them. It's not as if Dean's going to settle down-- or likely, even seriously regret not even considering it, not from how we know these characters.

Her POV gives the reader a nice chance to stand back (more as we did when the series started) and really see how the boys would appear to be, to someone normal. All those persistent questions about unimportant things, those odd, slightly guarded behaviors. Perhaps I just like the irony there too much. ;)

In any case, thanks so much for reading! Since I don't really write this flavor of Supernatural at all, I'm grateful to people who are willing to try it out with me. :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 06:53 am (UTC)
:) The story really is all about the atmosphere, I think (it's rather, um, fluffy compared to my usual).

and what you don't say in this. It is beautifully done.
One of the interesting parts of writing this way is that there are gaps in the boys' parts of this story-- the parts we usually only see. Here, they're seen peripherally, and the reader can fill in by suggestion what they're up to, but we only get the narrator's spread-out glimpses of events that don't seem to add up to much of anything. I do sometimes love taking the "outside" view for that reason. It gives a fresh perspective on what we've come to think of as "normal" through knowing the characters so well now.

Thanks for reading this one, Rinne, especially as it's nothing like my usual. :)
Danajainadurron on February 25th, 2007 03:51 am (UTC)
Wow. I liked this one. Outsider POVs are always refreshing, and I like the last line there, with Dean being embarrassed about getting caught like that. :)

Hey, weird question, but you feel up to posting this (and any other het stuff you've got lying around) at Just Like The Rifle?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 06:59 am (UTC)
and I like the last line there, with Dean being embarrassed about getting caught like that. :)
I'm glad so many readers liked that, rather than finding it somehow unsatisfying. It seemed the perfect way to end the story from this character's POV, and a nice twist given that the reader knows what the boys are up to, but their behavior looks so very wrong seen through the eyes of an outsider.

Hey, weird question, but you feel up to posting this (and any other het stuff you've got lying around) at Just Like The Rifle?
I'd be happy to-- I'd have to open an account there. This really is my first and only Het (I usually write Gen or the Slash), other than a couple of 100-word Het drabbles.

I'm thrilled that you'd ask that, given that it's not something I've really written before in this fandom. :)
(no subject) - jainadurron on February 25th, 2007 07:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jainadurron on February 25th, 2007 07:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
elanurelelanurel on February 25th, 2007 04:48 am (UTC)
You know I love the lyricism in all of your work, and this was no exception. Dean was gentler than generally portrayed (but I found that just as true as other aspects of his personality) and the viewpoint of your OFC was real — she had no illusions about what was happening but there was still the fear of being broken all the same.

Really nice piece. Thanks for sharing it with us. ;-P
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 07:10 am (UTC)
Dean was gentler than generally portrayed (but I found that just as true as other aspects of his personality)
I was thinking the other day about how he was with Cassie, and that really influenced the approach here. That was a little different, because he'd truly loved her (and it seemed that he still did), and it was so one-sided with the way that she kept emotionally shooting him down in that episode. But I saw a whole different side of him in the way he was with her-- and also in "Dead In The Water," when the sherriff's daughter kissed him and he got all embarrassed. He loves that Cassanova side of himself, but it's also a mask of its own. And sometimes he might get tired of it, or he might realize that this time that approach isn't the right one for the situation. That makes him sound rather calculating, and honestly I can't promise that he isn't. But the character can't know for sure. She certainly would hope it isn't that.

she had no illusions about what was happening but there was still the fear of being broken all the same.
And on the interesting flip side, sometimes that's what lurks under the party girls who are the parallel of Dean's usual behavior. This character isn't that type of girl, but so many are-- even when they don't look like it on the outside. People are so much more complex than their outer behaviors.

Really nice piece. Thanks for sharing it with us. ;-P
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, which means all the more because I know you know I haven't written this before. :)
(no subject) - elanurel on February 28th, 2007 02:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on March 1st, 2007 06:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - elanurel on March 2nd, 2007 02:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
iamstealthyoneiamstealthyone on February 25th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
Me like. :) You know what one of my favorite things is about this story? How sexy it is without having to go into explicit sexual detail. Very, very nicely done.

Good outsider POV, and I love how she so easily picks up major Sam’s major characteristics.

Favorite lines:

He was there with another man—someone tall and worried-looking, altogether far too serious about something.

*g* That’s Sam, all right. Such a pensive boy.

"Mir-elle," he pressed onward, "Do you like me?"

Love how forward Dean is.

They made love with a slow kind of tenderness that made sure that neither of them would break.

Lovely phrasing.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 26th, 2007 08:36 pm (UTC)
How sexy it is without having to go into explicit sexual detail. Very, very nicely done.
That actually was where I started when I began writing slash too. I wasn't ready to really delve into the details (for fear of embarrassing myself), and the NC-17 stuff embarrassed the heck out of mefor the longest time. I've since gotten over that (both reading and writing it) for slash, but for het it's just too much. And there are still times with the slash where I prefer to write the allusion and not the details. ;)

Good outsider POV, and I love how she so easily picks up major Sam’s major characteristics.
I used to see Sam this way, back at the beginning, but over time I've gotten so used to him that my POV has changed (same with Dean too, really). So, one of the fun things about this was to back away and just look at the exterior impression other people might get of them. Serious Sam here, and I could have gone for assyDean, but I didn't want that tone for this view of him. :0

Love how forward Dean is.
He can be very cut-to-the-chase at times, not always for the good. I still fondly remember his really awful touch when he was by himself in that town in "Scarecrow." He managed to anger or weird-out almost everyone he came into contact with.

But in a different sense... I think that's always the question in his mind, with everyone (his family most of all). "Do you like/love me?" "Are you going to leave me?" Usually, he doesn't say it out loud.

Thanks so much for reading this one-- I've really only written 3 het pieces ever, and the other two were Prison Break. I always hope that stretching myself doesn't result in a crash-and-burn result. ;)
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on February 27th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on February 27th, 2007 09:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - iamstealthyone on February 27th, 2007 11:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
The Good, The Bad and The Lana: 1ww reeling in lassathelana on February 27th, 2007 08:08 pm (UTC)
It wasn't his smile—he looked better when he didn't smile, and she'd never met anyone like that before.

*raises hand*

Me! I get the creepiest chipmunk cheeks when I smile.

I was curious about her backstory. Is she married, divorced, alone? She sounds older than 26, though that probably comes from living in a small town (most 26 year olds I know are studying or just past studying).

I sent your package off today. I hope it gets through customs alright. Should be a week to 10 days, hopefully. Also hope you can convince the DVDs to play.

And if you feel any desire to pay me back in fic that is absolutely fine. *bats eyelashes* (j/k :D)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 27th, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
Me! I get the creepiest chipmunk cheeks when I smile.
My smile got goofier after the last round of braces. Bleh. But this is specifically about Jensen. His smile is a bit goofy-looking, and he's much better looking when he's looking woebegone or surly. :0

Is she married, divorced, alone? She sounds older than 26, though that probably comes from living in a small town (most 26 year olds I know are studying or just past studying).
Alone, and it's not only a small town but the implication is that it's very rural as well. Traditionally, kids in that environment may grow up sooner and with more responsibility (helping out in the family business and what-not). Or more specifically, they just never stopped being that way. Generations ago, people were much more grown-up at 18-20. In more recent years, they expect to stay children forever. It may be more of an American thing. Not a big fan of it, obviously.

How did you like the atmosphere of it? Are you able to tell, coming at it as a non-native English-speaker, that this is a different American culture than the one I usually write? I very much enjoyed the stylistic sound of this one-- very lulling and soothing, and a change from the more modern & Western tone I usually use.

Looking forward to your package! Eee!

And if you feel any desire to pay me back in fic that is absolutely fine. *bats eyelashes* (j/k :D)
If only you could think of something that I actually write! There have been Prison Break things you would have loved, if you were still in the fandom. *big sigh*