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23 February 2007 @ 05:10 pm
Supernatural Gen Drabble: Choosing The Moment  
Title: Choosing The Moment
Author: HalfshellVenus
Character: John (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Drabble written for 100_ghosts challenge on "The Harder They Fall."

x-x-x-x-x

John Winchester was not a man who believed in death by degrees.

He didn't give pieces of himself up to the battle. Parts were stolen—almost the entirety of his future taken in a single flame-spawned night—but they were not offered, not conceded.

He survived scars, skirmishes, and near-death, but he refused to die for lesser things—not when victory and revenge still waited to become his.

Making his bargain in the close, dark air of that hospital basement, he was surprised to find that in trading his life for Dean's, he was dying for that everything after all...


------ fin ------




 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 04:12 am (UTC)
Thank you, Rinne! :)
it's load-bearing, asshole!: spn: broken down enginemcee on February 24th, 2007 01:53 am (UTC)
ooooooooooooooooof.

i really loved "he refused to die for lesser things". oh JOHN.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 04:15 am (UTC)
The poor man had such a clear idea of what he was trying to accomplish, of what that important goal was.

I actually love him all the more for deciding in that moment that his child was more important than the revenge that he'd let guide the bulk of his life.

Still miss him, though. *Sigh*
it's load-bearing, asshole!: spn: broken down enginemcee on February 24th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC)
I actually love him all the more for deciding in that moment that his child was more important than the revenge that he'd let guide the bulk of his life.

*BLOWS NOSE IN HANKIE*
adibiase on February 24th, 2007 02:01 am (UTC)
"John Winchester was not a man who believed in death by degrees."

this is a haunting line, and prompted me to read the rest of the drabble, a practice a generally avoid. congratulations on a well-done snippet!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
this is a haunting line, and prompted me to read the rest of the drabble, a practice a generally avoid.
:D Thank you so much!

I used to have no love for drabbles, until I discovered the power of saying so much with so few words-- the story is more evoked than actually told when you've got just 100 words to work with.

Thanks for braving the waters! :)
angels3angels3 on February 24th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC)
Kicks Ass
That last sentence just kicks ass and makes me sad and happy all at the same time. This was short but great.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
Re: Kicks Ass
and makes me sad and happy all at the same time.
That's honestly how I feel about John's choice, too.

Not how I expected him to go out-- I wanted something bigger and louder for him-- but that he made that quiet choice instead for his son, and finally realized that his children mattered as much as Mary's memory ever did... I love him for that.

It's a sacrifice that holds resolution in its choice. :)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 07:28 am (UTC)
I'm still distressed over John giving his life for Dean. But, the ultimate sacrifice.
Exactly-- I both hate and love that he went out that way.

Hate that after everything, he didn't beat that demon after all, and so much of what he put his family through was then for nothing.

Love that, in the end, he did finally make the right choice where his family was concerned. He, and not the Demon, was transfigured in the end.

So glad you like this drabble-- I know that the two of us still mourn John in such very similar ways.
bluesister on February 24th, 2007 04:12 am (UTC)
he refused to die for lesser things
I hear that in John's growl. Well done.

His decision to, after 20 years, make a deal with The Demon...that's some rich ground.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 24th, 2007 07:35 am (UTC)
I hear that in John's growl. Well done.
Such a stubborn and simply determined man. If nothing else, those traits kept him alive in spite of so many things.

His decision to, after 20 years, make a deal with The Demon...that's some rich ground.
The fact that he did it for all the right reasons makes it moreso.

Did you ever read this John/Demon story that I recc'd? It has slash and is NC-17 (which I know are not your things), but the sex is brief and that story is awash in the lengthy, cunning battle of John vs. the Demon, and the characterization of John (and how he changed over time) is just incredible. For John fans, I think that story is an absolute must. I promise you can skim over the sex!
bluesister on February 24th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
I read, I do, I just don't comment. Long story. So thanks for the rec.
zora_sourit: Deanzora_sourit on February 24th, 2007 10:32 am (UTC)
Awesome! Really, the last sentence... literally takes my breath away. Go on like this and I´ll have to marry you ;P.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
Really, the last sentence... literally takes my breath away.
That single act really changed my feelings about John. I don't forgive him entirely, but the was a huge moment of redemption and finally, understanding.

Go on like this and I´ll have to marry you ;P.
:D That's exactly the sort of thing my husband's afraid, when I spend time online. :D ;)
zora_sourit: John/Dean hug makes you go aaaawzora_sourit on February 25th, 2007 11:40 am (UTC)
That single act really changed my feelings about John.
I´m totally with you. It gave me a whole new look on him. And you know what else? The way he checked on Dean one last time, standing in the doorway and calling him "Dude" with that little smile. Aaaw.

:D That's exactly the sort of thing my husband's afraid, when I spend time online. :D ;)
LOL! It´s not the internet that is dangerous, it´s solely your writing ;P.
(I am a rainwalker): angryultraviolet9a on February 24th, 2007 02:10 pm (UTC)
and that's John in a nutshell. Nicely done.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 08:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! That's definitely what I was shooting for-- who he was, and why that final choice was so enormous when all was said and done. ♥
Queen of Sassgard: pleasurebuttonstarhawk2005 on February 24th, 2007 02:17 pm (UTC)
Niiiice. *sniffles*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 25th, 2007 08:15 am (UTC)
Thank you very much. :) I still miss John, as you can probably tell. Can't leave him alone-- his ghost lingers still.
getting the chocolate in the peanut butter: john guhdotfic on February 25th, 2007 11:14 pm (UTC)
I read this three times. I love this: Parts were stolen—almost the entirety of his future taken in a single flame-spawned night—but they were not offered, not conceded and how that ties in with his realization at the end. The idea that he thought there were "lesser things" not worth dying, for, and then his surprise that there's something besides victory or revenge worth dying for after all...

and now my feedback is longer than the drabble. Nice work. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Johnhalfshellvenus on February 26th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
I read this three times.
Eeee! *thrills to those words!*

The idea that he thought there were "lesser things" not worth dying, for, and then his surprise that there's something besides victory or revenge worth dying for after all...
That really was inspired by the challenge theme, of "The harder they fall." Because he resisted for so long, driving himself and his boys toward that larger all-important goal... and he never saw that ending coming, but when it did he embraced with both arms.

He fell not only into death, but fell before his own ideals of what mattered (revenge instead of his surviving family). The one was tragic, but the other was transformation. And in both cases, the fall was enormous.

and now my feedback is longer than the drabble. Nice work. :)
And how I love you for getting all thinky over it-- that is really exciting when the drabbles themselves are so short. :)