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19 February 2007 @ 11:12 pm
Supernatural Slash Drabble: Leaving Marks  
Title: Leaving Marks
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam/Dean (Wincest, Dark)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Pre-Stanford, dark drabble on "Possession" for supernatural100.

x-x-x-x-x

Dean waited until that last night. The one before Sam went off to Stanford, when there was no chance of changing his mind.

This is what you're leaving behind, Dean's body said with every rough-rolling thrust. This is how much you've taken from me already, and now you're taking everything else.

Sam clung to him, eyes bright with tears or anger— like he didn't know what this cost Dean, or like he wished Dean'd never made him see it.

You're mine, Dean's touches said so clearly, Whether you want to be or not.

The bastard still left anyway.

Anyway.

Still.


-------- fin --------


 
 
angels3angels3 on February 20th, 2007 07:26 am (UTC)
Time to smack a Sammy
Man I think he needs a good whack in the head. You just don't leave if you have that in the bed, you just don't.
This was great.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2007 08:21 pm (UTC)
Re: Time to smack a Sammy
He had to, though-- to be himself (his own self) at long last. The tragedy is that Dean was bound to John and that life when Sam needed to go-- I'm sure he would have preferred to have Dean come with him in the end.

None of which will ever register with Dean, and that's the hard part. :(
aeroport_art: 300aeroport_art on February 20th, 2007 08:03 am (UTC)
Oh god, I love this drabble. It's so dark and angsty, and it hints at scores of other emotions. It kinda reminds me of poisontaster's Heartverse, and I mean that in the best way possible! The idea that Dean puts everything on the line before Sam leaves... nnngh *heart clenches* I wanna see this longer! Like, ficlet or short fic length. *pokes you*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2007 08:24 pm (UTC)
It IS dark and angsty, and much darker than I usually write. But that sense of desperation, of wanting to own Sam enough that he won't leave-- and then losing him anyway-- really called forth from the "possession" prompt.

:D You always want longer, not that I blame you. Have you read In Anger And Defeat? It's a similar mood, post-Shadows and achy-dark. Very much skewed from Dean's POV.
aeroport_art: 300aeroport_art on February 20th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Do I always want longer? I hadn't noticed :0 I guess that's true as a general rule for your writing, but this piece especially! Totally begs for a slightly more fleshed-out piece.

I will definitely check out that fic though, when I'm not you know. At work on campus :P
aeroport_art: omgaeroport_art on February 20th, 2007 08:04 am (UTC)
Oh and HOT icon by the way. Is that a manip? The best part is that I can't even tell since canon is so slashy anyway *hearts*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2007 08:26 pm (UTC)
:D Like it? I don't use it as often as my new slash one, because fewer of my stories are this angry-sexy mood (or Sam's the pushy one, which is the reverse of the icon!)

It's from "Skin," and the scene is canon, but the boys have been pushed closer together in the image than originally. And damn if we weren't all waiting for the Demon!Dean to make a move on Sammy, all tied up in that chair. Not unlike Demon!Sam having a taste of Dean in "Born Under A Bad Sign." Rrrrowr!
aeroport_art: biteaeroport_art on February 20th, 2007 09:53 pm (UTC)
Rrrrowr is right, mmm. *smacks lips*
plutogirl10 on February 20th, 2007 08:28 am (UTC)
ouch. so painful and real.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2007 08:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you, plutogirl! I know you've written about this period yourself, and that dark, desperate need and the heartbreak coming on its heels is so impossible to resist.

That "Possession" prompt just brought it out full force. What Dean wants and what he can have are two painfully different things. :(
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2007 08:30 pm (UTC)
Hmmmmm. Dean's or Sam's? ;)
The ambiguity works well there, doesn't it? Really, it's Sam's mind (because Sam is clearly going to leave), but there's a sense that Dean could easily back down from what he's going to do, if he hadn't pushed himself into such a desperate corner.

All's fair in love and. Love. Especially with these boys.
Love your phrasing here, because sometimes their love is like a battle-- with themselves or each other-- and yet, how can you really blame either of them?
not a morning person...: spn - wincesttattoo_kink on February 20th, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC)
GOD... Sam is such a dork!

The choice Dean in his bed or Stanford - did I mention he's a dork? *gg*

*hugs ya*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 22nd, 2007 01:05 am (UTC)
Well, you know why Sam had to make the choice he did. It wasn't just Dean-- their Dad was the real problem, or Sam could have taken Dean with him. But back then, Dean would have stuck with their Dad.

In the now... he'd choose Sam, and already had several times.

Which is not to say that there wasn't heartbreak all around at that choice! But this is Dean's side of it, and not Sam's, and we're getting a one-sided (and devastated!) perspective. :)
zenamydogzenamydog on February 20th, 2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
Too sad. I think its only NOW that Sam can see he belongs to Dean.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 22nd, 2007 01:07 am (UTC)
I think its only NOW that Sam can see he belongs to Dean.
I think so too-- I doubt that he'd have had the perspective to really understand that before, when he was younger.

And the dynamic was different then-- Wincest or Gen, their Dad was always in the way of Sam and Dean, because Dean kept siding with John. Now Dean has a little more perspective too, I think.

Thanks so much for reading. :)
I'm for wine and the embrace of questionable women: sadmissyjack on February 20th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
dark and intimate. great work.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 22nd, 2007 01:16 am (UTC)
Thank you, missyjack!

Love that description, because it IS both of those things at once, and I don't often think of them as going together.
blazeorfadeblazeorfade on February 20th, 2007 10:32 pm (UTC)
I love how raw and dark this is. Its all quiet violence and things you're not really sure should turn you on but really do.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 22nd, 2007 01:32 am (UTC)
I love how raw and dark this is.
There's so much desperation and need here-- and that pained disbelief that it didn't actually change anything after all...

So glad you liked it-- and I agree with the sexiness of it under the dark/wrong tone too. :)
Disturber of the Peach: spn • new toypeaches on February 20th, 2007 11:19 pm (UTC)
ooh! that is great! the last three lines are perfect!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 22nd, 2007 01:33 am (UTC)
:D Thank you so much! Sometimes the ending is the hardest-- paring down to get the word count, but trying not to lose the impact. Which of course is one of the reasons I like these challenges so much... :)
mossylawnmossylawn on February 24th, 2007 09:56 am (UTC)
I completely and utterly agree with angels3.
I mean, c'mon. If Dean is the alternative...screw school! XD

But a really excellent drabble, very sexy without being detailed, you can clearly feel the desperation and determination.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean slashhalfshellvenus on February 26th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
:D Oh, I'd definitely be tempted to stay.

But Dean's not the only one in that particular life-- there's John too, and all his expectations and bull-headed refusal to let Sam be who he needs to be. I think his ideal would have been to leave and have Dean come with him, which was never going to happen. :(

But a really excellent drabble, very sexy without being detailed, you can clearly feel the desperation and determination.
That's wonderful to hear, because you really can't get much detail into a drabble anyway, so getting the mood to be clear is a major feat! :)