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06 December 2005 @ 09:45 pm
Supernatural Fanfiction: Atonement  
Title: Atonement
Author: HalfshellVenus
Category: Sam and Dean (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary (S1 "Asylum" Coda): Dean doesn't want apologies, but Sam can't let go of what he's done.

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After all the possessions he's witnessed, he never expected to be the victim of one himself.Collapse )


 
 
 
swanseajillswanseajill on July 1st, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
That was awesome. You did a fantastic job of Sam showing care for Dean without actually being able to say anything emo or being too physical about it. It's exactly how I'd expect a scene in the show to end up.

Though I do think there might be a bit more to say. I don't think Sam meant the stuff he said, but I also think some of it came from somewhere and some niggling resentment. just like Dean in Asylum.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on July 2nd, 2007 07:39 am (UTC)
It's exactly how I'd expect a scene in the show to end up.
The toughest and sometimes saddest part of all that is the way that Dean makes it hard for people to be good to him. He hurts for that lack of love, but damn if he doesn't push every evidence of it away far too easily.

Feelings shown through actions instead of words are something he can accept a little more easily if at all. Sam just doesn't often see that. :(

I don't think Sam meant the stuff he said, but I also think some of it came from somewhere and some niggling resentment. just like Dean in Asylum.
I don't think Sam wants to believe that any of it was true, but I definitely think a primal truth was channeled there (like the Shapeshifter!Dean in "Skin")-- it wasn't how he would have said it and it was amplified way beyond its actual relevance, but there was definitely more than a grain of the truth there.

Thanks so much for reading, BTW. This is one of my oldest stories, but still one of my favorites. :)
deluweildeluweil on June 3rd, 2008 10:23 am (UTC)
Awwww Dean... you're so sweet!!

Awesome work!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 12th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
He forgives more easily than he should, for something like this, but at least Sam finally felt the weight of what he'd done all the way down.

I so wish we'd gotten more from that episode-- that ending just sidestepped all of those dangling emotions and resentments and leftover aches that needed to be addressed!
deluweildeluweil on June 12th, 2008 08:10 am (UTC)
yeah it was seriously lacking...*nodnod*
Applesauce Parkerapgeeksout on June 3rd, 2008 06:16 pm (UTC)
He would not be the car driven by any passing demon if he could help it.

I like this metaphor, especially given what we know is in store for them.

The scent of gunpowder in Dean’s hair was oddly comforting, a memory so basic and familiar that it carried the whole pattern of his childhood. Dingy hotels, danger in the shadows, and the cleanup afterwards all culminating in the two of them returning safe and exhausted, curled up together at night, sometimes battered around the edges but still there to survive another day. It was the smell of constancy, of family.

And the imagery in this paragraph is love. Nicely done!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 12th, 2008 06:23 am (UTC)
I like this metaphor, especially given what we know is in store for them.
It reads that way now, doesn't it? I wrote this back in Season One, when we had no idea how bad things could truly get. And would. :0

Nicely done!
Thank you! That paragraph is full of all those things that usually have negative connotations but in the context of being a Winchester and feeling a sense of belonging instead become comfort instead.

It's like so much of the Winchester life; slightly upside-down from the rest of the world.

Thanks for reading!
May Robinson: Boys Leathermay7fic on June 4th, 2008 12:20 am (UTC)
I know this is an "old" story but it's new to me and I enjoyed it immensely. Dean will always forgive Sammy but it was good to see the younger brother sweat a little and also take comfort in Dean's forgiveness.

God, reading this story from the perspective of having watched everything that has happened since, makes me long for the simplicity of their guilt and angst in season 1. Scary as that may be *g*.

This was a wonderful trip down memory lane. Thank-you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Hughalfshellvenus on June 12th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed this one-- a little reminder from the past (I so loved Season One).

but it was good to see the younger brother sweat a little and also take comfort in Dean's forgiveness.
Yes-- this was partly written out of my wanting Sam to stop taking everything Dean's given him (emotionally) for granted. It was and is an imperfect life, but he's always had Dean there to support him. That "sense of entitlement" that comes so often from being the youngest of the family is something that Sam's overdue for shedding.

God, reading this story from the perspective of having watched everything that has happened since, makes me long for the simplicity of their guilt and angst in season 1. Scary as that may be *g*.
No, not at all! I've said this so many times recently-- I really miss Season One, because all the angst back then was between the two of them and we wanted to watch it settle into something cooperative and comfortable. No-one was doomed, dead or dying, and I really miss that year where the anvil of destruction wasn't always hanging overhead.

As a writer, I've found Season Three very hard to deal with-- it's killed off a lot of the inspiration to write. I find myself going back to Season One or even sometimes Season Two for story settings, just to lighten the mood a little. :0 (doesn't that sound nuts!)
redrikkiredrikki on June 6th, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Not only was this a really touching brother moment, you also did an excellent job working in canon. You had call backs to previous episodes and some lovely foreshadowing as well.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on June 12th, 2008 06:30 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm really glad you noticed the canon touches here. At times I really like to weave in and out of canon and sometimes complete the "missing scenes" or "missing resolutions," or just to focus canon in on a particular character or feeling.

Any foreshadowing here was unintentional-- it was written back in Season One, almost right after the episode (because that ending needed something more for me).

Thanks so much for reading!
kliqzangel: Sammy n Dean 171 guns artistickliqzangel on August 30th, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
Got bored and decided to reread some older fics. I always love reading this because it is so perfectly the boys. It makes me sniffle happily at the end.
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on September 20th, 2009 08:39 pm (UTC)
the episode was certainly missing something along these lines

It sure seemed that way to me. Over time, it's become clear that Kripke likes to set up these emotional disasters and then just walk away without ever resolving them. But I find that unsatisfying as someone who loves the show, and this story was my way of finishing the dangling arc that was the most important part of the episode.

I agree with you about spn_epific. You'll always know how far into the season a story is, and whether it's safe to read that way!