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31 January 2007 @ 08:10 am
Supernatural Slash Fiction: This Continuation Of Forever  
Title: This Continuation Of Forever
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam/Dean (Wincest) and others
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Fifty sentences on the imperfect, forever mystery that is Sam and Dean together.
Author's Notes: Chronologically ordered (with some episodes marked), to tell the larger Winchester story. These are 50 sentences on Sam/Dean for 1fandom, again using the Fifth Theme set, but this time in a Slash version. The Gen version is here.

x-x-x-x-x

Touch
Whether accidental or purposeful, the first time Sam's fingers brush Dean's lips the question is answered before it even began.

Dance
It's just casual, what we have, and it's not our future, Dean tells himself, So if Sam wants to take some girl to the Prom I should be happy for him, right? but that feeling never comes.

Red
Sam is sixteen when Dad corners him in the kitchen for Round Two of The Talk, and he could die of embarrassment and nerves trying to hide the fact that he already learned all that from Dean first-hand and -mouth and whisper-touch-soft-sigh-Yes.

Choice
Dean could never have said No, not even deep inside himself, because he was made from the beginning to love only Sam, and his father has no idea that he's shaped Dean's world that way.

Summer
He never meant it to be Sam, and sometimes he hates himself for letting this whole thing start, but when Dean chases Sam through the grass and they wrestle-roll through the meadow, those teasing/tender kisses are some of the sweetest he's ever known.

Open
When Sam turns seventeen he begs Dean to take it further, and Dean refuses again and again; then one weekend Dad's in Biloxi and Sam eyes are full of everything, and Dean falls into Sam completely if only just to make that feeling last.

Risk
They have done it with Dad sleeping in the same room—not often, but when they're desperate—and when the weeks go on and there's no time apart, the night will come when they'll take that chance again.

Sign
Dean knows about the acceptance letter and Sam says he's going, but there's still time and a lot could happen before then; Dean tells himself that, every time Sam loves him more ardently, more desperately, because the way Sam's treating him isn't a goodbye, it absolutely isn't.

Stop
"You're really doing this?" Dean asks, and Sam says Yes and gets on that bus to Stanford, like walking away happens every day, like this thing they have between them can be over just like that.

Remove
John's suspected for a long time now, and watching Dean practically dissolve after Sam leaves, he knows it’s true; maybe this break will set things right, will take away the unnatural longing that binds his sons so strongly together.

Compliment
"You look like someone I know," Sam tells the green-eyed stranger, and though it's not the same it might be enough to let him forget that Dean's not here and it's been forever since he was.

Try
Sam's making a new reality for himself, one he can survive, and meeting someone special and going from there is just the way it has to be.

Name
It doesn't sound the same when Jess says it, even though he loves her; "Sam" meant so many things when Dean said it, and he misses all the nuances that showed everything they were to each other.

Compare
This fluid softness is not what he's used to, it billows under his fingers where sinew and muscle and scars should be instead.

Hello
Sam doesn't call anymore, and Dean wishes he understood why, but he's stopped calling Sam now because even the sound of his voice on the phone hurts so much it's like dying.

Sell
He doesn't talk about his brother much, and when he does he looks away, but Jess is sure there's something more going on under this casualness Sam keeps trying to sell her.

Save
Dean rescued him from fire for the second time, though it was too late for Jess, and Sam feels the circle coming round again to seal him in with his brother, his destiny, and this love that has too much power over them both.

Pale
This is not the brother he lost to college, this grief-stricken ghost, and Dean tries to be understanding, but he's worried Sam's not coming back—not the part of him that took Dean's heart and put it aside for a golden-haired girl with a smile like Promise.

Bore
Dean's eyes burn through his skin—Sam can feel them without looking—and he knows Dean's only waiting for him to trade in mourning for embracing what he still has left.

Water
They saved Lucas but not the sheriff, and Dean's still soaked in failure when he sees the look Sam gives him on the dock—like he remembers why he looked up to Dean all those years ago, like Dean is worth something even for just those few minutes.

Please
That's all it takes, just the word Dean's been waiting for, and when Sam pulls him down beside him and leans in instead of away, Dean can hear it even if he isn't sure Sam actually said it.

Limit
He won't give Sam everything this time, he'll keep something hidden away—Dean tells himself over and over that he'll be more careful now, in case Sam leaves again.

Price
One in awhile it still happens—he falls into it with some woman he meets on the road—and even if Sam doesn't care (though Dean's really damn sure he does), Dean will still hate himself for that weakness when it's over.

Study (Home)
Missouri knew what the two of them were up to long ago, and when she sees them again she watches carefully within and without, and she knows it's still going on though from their hearts she also knows why.

Scorch (Asylum)
Is this what's underneath Sam's come-and-go moods, this festering anger and resentment, because Dean's not sure which hurts more now—Sam's words, or the wounds from the rock salt Sam fired into his chest?

Tough (Asylum)
Sam's trying to say he's sorry and Dean won't let him, not with the day they've had, and it's not that Dean's being cruel, it's more that he's afraid an apology would mean too much and all of that would show on his face before he could stop it.

Listen (Scarecrow)
They're still fighting over Dad, and Dean's obeying and Sam's going to the source, until Sam's in a bus station and Dean's breaking underneath his practiced words of encouragement, and then Sam realizes that leaving Dean is always the wrong choice no matter what else is going on.

Keep (Faith)
Dean snuck out of the hospital yesterday, and he's so pale-shaky-tired, but Sam's not giving up on him until he has no choice, not when magic or a miracle could make a difference.

Pet
So good to have Dean healthy—Sam can't stop stroking over Dean's skin, his hair, those lips that breathe so steadily in the night—and Dean sleeps on without ever knowing, without seeing how close Sam still is to just falling apart.

Hands
It's probably wrong that Sam's hands set Dean off, that those long fingers spreading on the table make him think of what else those hands could be doing, and where the hell is that waitress with the check?

Great (Route 666)
Sam has no right to be jealous—hell, he'd planned his own future with Jess— and so he tells himself it's okay that Dean loved Cassie, and it's great if Dean didn't come back last night because he found out he still does.

Shadow (Shadow)
They're together and their relationship is complete again, after four long years apart, but Dean can't help feeling like there's always that possibility of waking one morning and finding that Sam is gone.

Reflect (Hell House)
It's easy to get too serious in a life like theirs, so it's really not wrong to tease Sam and prank on him like when they were little, Dean thinks, and yeah, it's totally not sick to remember those days from way-back childhood when Sam is lying there naked in his arms.

Yes
It can be a motel room, the forest, the backseat of the Impala, but when Dean moves up and over and all the way inside, it's here with Sam that he finds the place that feels like Yes.

Nail (Provenance)
Dean keeps pushing Sam at Sarah, takes his own detour with those girls from the night before, and he throws it around like sleeping with these women changes anything, like what drives them from brothers to lovers is even remotely a choice.

Own
Dean doesn't say it, but it's in his eyes and every single touch when Sam takes it serious and slow: Dean's heart belongs to him and it always has, whether Dean wants to admit that or not.

Certain (Salvation)
If he doesn't come back from this, if his mission happens to fail, John knows that at least the boys are together again and they'll carry each other through whatever happens next.

Minute (Devil's Trap)
They've got to get Dean to a doctor—god knows what the demon did to made him bleed so much—but John's so worn out from fighting that he thinks in Cabin… Car ride… Headlights… with every moment an isolated eye-blink until that last becomes screech-pain-crash-metal-black.

Under (In MyTime of Dying)
He can't be too far away to come back-- he's right there on the bed-- and he sees himself lying there but not moving even though Sammy's waiting, Sammy's waiting, Sammy's—god, why can't he wake up?

New
This body is too beaten to survive in, but Dean struggles to stay in this new future with Dad and Sam.

Next
John doesn't know what's waiting, not for sure, but it doesn't matter: the boys have each other to carry out this mission or just their lives, and his ambitions are finally shaped around the family that survived.

Layer
The boys always stayed together before, with John in the third bedroom, but now it's just the two of them and Bobby offers them separate rooms; the way Dean jumps at the chance seems wrong somehow, like something between the boys is broken further down than just their Dad being gone.

Noise
It's too quiet in this room without Dean's sounds in the night, and even after four years without them, Sam can't sleep here alone—but he's got no choice, because Dean made it clear that he's not welcome.

Give
Sam doesn't understand why it has to be this—Dean's devastation and not his—that finally breaks down the walls Dean put up when Dad died, that finally lets Sam in again after so much waiting.

High
God, he's missed this so badly—missed all the touching and holding and letting go—and he knows it's his fault, that he pushed Sam away, but right now he's floating on those feelings and all that drama just seems so far away…

Raise (Crossroads Blues)
I never should have sent him, I should have trapped that demon by myself ticks on and on like a rosary of worry in Sam's head, with the knowledge rising up of how Dean wanted to—could have—traded in himself just hours ago.

Tall (Croatoan)
They never asked anything easy, Dad or Sam, but killing them in case they maybe turn is too tall an order, so even if-- especially when-- it's Sam, Dean's answer is definitely No.

Job
It doesn't matter the way it used to, this life of hunting and tracking down evil, not when evil's hunting them instead and Sam is either the target or the next recruit.

Content
In a ratty motel on the Rhode Island border, Dean wakes with Sam draped across him and just for a moment Dean feels he's found where he belongs.

Always
"Take care of your brother," Dad had told him from the beginning, and Dean's purpose never changes—even with their father gone, he can still hear that directive echoing all the way down inside his soul.



-------- fin --------




 
 
aeroport_art: biteaeroport_art on January 31st, 2007 06:58 am (UTC)
Oh. My. God.

It's been way too long since a fic made me hurt like that ;___; (a good hurt, mind you)

Limit
He won't give Sam everything this time, he'll keep something hidden away—Dean tells himself over and over that he'll be more careful now, in case Sam leaves again.

My favorite one, the ouchiest one, because it's so true and one way of looking at Sam/Dean is all about getting over Dean's abandonment issues. *sniff*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:01 am (UTC)
Eeee! Good hurt is the best! It should almost be a Supernatural trademark, because this fandom brings it like no other.

I love that you picked "Limit". That was one of the first ones I wrote, and it just tumbled right out of that prompt because that part of Sam/Dean is one of the most broken and unchanging. If Dean would hold back less, maybe Sam would be more certain of staying... and if he hadn't left to begin with, maybe Dean wouldn't be so cautious. :(

*Sigh*

So glad you read this one! Thank you. :) ♥
(no subject) - aeroport_art on January 31st, 2007 07:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 06:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
michelle: Sam and Dean - dangerously smartcertainthings on January 31st, 2007 07:03 am (UTC)

You broke me.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:20 am (UTC)
*Gasps*

Glue? Melty chocolate? Huggles?

It's the boys-- this is what they do. All I have to do is write off of what canon gives us and stretch it only slightly, and their cycle of chase-want-love-run begins all over again. :(
(no subject) - certainthings on January 31st, 2007 07:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - certainthings on January 31st, 2007 08:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
plutogirl10 on January 31st, 2007 08:30 am (UTC)
oh lord. you've finished me. I'm done. CHOICE! YES. SO TRUE. *loves*

*mems*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 06:09 pm (UTC)
"Choice" hurts with its inevitability, doesn't it?

There is just nothing like the feeling that it is already too late, now before you've even gotten started. I'm such a sucker for doomed love, even when it's good love.

*is thrilled that you memmed it!* *glee!*
merctales on January 31st, 2007 12:52 pm (UTC)
>he was made from the beginning to love only Sam, and his father has no idea that he's shaped Dean's world that way
Sort of sad and ironic

Dean's still soaked in failure when he sees the look Sam gives him on the dock—like he remembers why he looked up to Dean all those years ago, like Dean is worth something even for just those few minutes
Brings a smile to my face--that little reminder of big brother worship from when they were kids.

He won't give Sam everything this time, he'll keep something hidden away
Yeah right.

Keep (Faith)
Did you do that on purpose? Plan it so it says "keep faith"?

it's great if Dean didn't come back last night because he found out he still does.
*laughs* Keep right on lying to yourself like that Sammy

his ambitions are finally shaped around the family that survived.
YES!!! *huggles John for finally getting it*

Without a doubt 'Next' is my favorite. Just so much of what I've wanted from John all along, packed into one tiny sentence. Excellent job, m'dear.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:17 pm (UTC)
Sort of sad and ironic
I've always thought so. With the life John set up for them-- always moving, always hunting, always doing things you can't talk about to other people, and BTW giving UP that life is not an option-- who else is there for Dean to love with all that he is, and who he has any hope of hanging onto? It's tragic, really.

that little reminder of big brother worship from when they were kids.
It would be so hard to lose that entirely, and it just sort of fades away as you get older. I never had it from Dean's side, because my sister is only 1 1/2 years younger (and my kids are 2 years apart). But I remember it from the other side, for the sibs that are 6-7 years older...

Plan it so it says "keep faith"?
:D I wish I had! But at some point, I felt like I needed to pick the most emotional-turning-point or emotionally wrenching episodes (i.e., not leave them out), and then match up the prompts to an idea that suited them. That one was accidental serendipitous. ;)

Just so much of what I've wanted from John all along, packed into one tiny sentence.
He DID finally get there, but our experience of it was brief on the show, and I wanted to draw it out a little.

So glad you liked these! And I'm always thrilled when people read the 1-sentence thingies, because they're not for everyone. :)
:insert witty name here:popmusicjunkie on January 31st, 2007 02:26 pm (UTC)
God, these are all so great. You pack so much into each sentence.
I especially liked:
He won't give Sam everything this time, he'll keep something hidden away—Dean tells himself over and over that he'll be more careful now, in case Sam leaves again.
and
It doesn't matter the way it used to, this life of hunting and tracking down evil, not when evil's hunting them instead and Sam is either the target or the next recruit.

It's like, I didn't just read some of these, I felt them. Seriously, great job.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:20 pm (UTC)
Eee! Thank you!

I love how many people are noticing "Limit," because you can see Dean's war on the show between his desperation for Sam and his fear of needing Sam too much, and his behavior just swings back and forth on it (at times so frustratingly).

It's like, I didn't just read some of these, I felt them. Seriously, great job.
One of the best comments ever, especially for this genre of "fic."

Thank you so much! ♥
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - It Begins - Winchestersclex_monkie89 on January 31st, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
Good God woman, slow it down with the writing, I can't keep up!

Just needed to say that, gonna read this after class. :P
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:22 pm (UTC)
Sorry! I did slow down around the holidays, and my PB stuff has slowed down....

Not that that probably helps. XD
(no subject) - clex_monkie89 on February 1st, 2007 12:22 am (UTC) (Expand)
Entendre? Make mine a double.: SN brothers looking slashdeirdre_c on January 31st, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC)
I love when you do these!!!

Dean's eyes burn through his skin—Sam can feel them without looking—and he knows Dean's only waiting for him to trade in mourning for embracing what he still has left.

Your fabulous, hon. ♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 07:27 pm (UTC)
I love when you do these!!!

! I love that you said that!

I'm not sure how many people really like or get this type of fic, although those two J-squared ones attracted a wildfire of attention, so you never know...

and he knows Dean's only waiting for him to trade in mourning for embracing what he still has left.
I'm always so intrigued to see which ones people pull out in the comments. This one, if you think about Dean waiting for four long years to get Sam back, and then having to wait through the post-Jess mourning... it seems less insensitive on that side and more like he must be dying over there waiting for Sam. And then on Sam's side, it's "I'm destroyed already, and can you stop needing me for a single second while I try to remember how to live?" The impossible contrast there is a kind of microcosm of when Sam/Dean are not working together at all.
squishy is the new shiny!: brothers writingteithiwr on January 31st, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)
Oh! This. It's condensed and wonderful and just full of that SPN angst I love. There are so many good sentences in here, so many of them ringing all too true. *mems*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 08:00 pm (UTC)
just full of that SPN angst I love.
Oh, I can't get away from it either. It's the most irresistible part of the show to me, even though there are so many other things about it that I love as well.

There are so many good sentences in here, so many of them ringing all too true. *mems*
Whee! Into the memories-- best compliment ever! Thank you so much. :D

I peeked at your user-info because your Welsh username caught my attention. I was surprised to find that you're from Finland instead. Although the username-- "traveller"-- really fits. I totally looked it up in my Welsh/English dictionary.</small. :)
(no subject) - teithiwr on January 31st, 2007 08:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - halfshellvenus on January 31st, 2007 08:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 1st, 2007 06:20 am (UTC)
As with all of your work these moved me very deeply. My eyes welled with tears & my chest grew tight...
Oh, Debbie, I can't tell you now much this matters to me-- to know that this makes you feel so deeply.

My heart breaks at this.
That whole 4-year separation... it'll never stop haunting me, whether it's Gen or Slash. It's like Dean losing all his happiness at once, and as scary as the idea would have been, I'm sure the reality of it was so much worse. *Sigh*

Yes. Dean would dissolve and would remain a shadow of his former self until he & Sam were reunited.
I believe that so firmly-- and I'm almost afraid to see it on the show, because I fear Kripke turning it somehow to be something else, something callous and flat, and I don't and will not believe that. I imagine that was a very gray and non-present period for Dean, and if his only comfort was John, well...

Thanks so much for reading, Debbie. :)

Ashleygeeky_ginger on January 31st, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
DUDE! That was Sooooooooo good!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 1st, 2007 06:21 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! And thank you for reading. :)
BEWARE OF JENMAR.: SPN - *Sniffle* - Sammichclex_monkie89 on February 1st, 2007 12:43 am (UTC)
Oh God, you just hurt them so beautifully. I really don't have anything more coherent to say beyond that. Except that I desperately want to hug them both right now.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 1st, 2007 06:36 am (UTC)
Part of what hurts so much, honestly, is weaving the Wincest in with the canon. The college years, the occasional flings with women-- they are so much more painful and emotional in a Wincest setting. There's so much fighting not to want to love each other that way, so much denial, and so much hopeless pain that it IS that and they return to it so desperately again and again.

Heavens, I'm angsting myself out just writing about it. But I know you understand...
Pix: Sam on porchpixel_0 on February 1st, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
Well, I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to say. *grin* But, I'll say it anyway (just in case). This was beautiful and emotionally, and I loved it so much. You have such a gift of turning so few words into so much, whether with these one sentences or your drabbles.

I love them all. I like the ending ones because you applied them so perfectly to the episodes and tied it together in a lovely story format. But, I also really like the beginning ones because they're sweet and they show the formation of their relationship.

Wonderful, wonderful job. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 1st, 2007 06:42 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, Pixel, and I'm glad you found time to read this one! I remember, too, that we first "met" because of the J-squared 1-sentence pieces I wrote. Something about that format obviously works for both of us. :)

I love how you viewed these. There's so much sweetness in the beginning (so much naked hope and love and attachment there), and then so much back-and-forth struggle in the ones that follow canon-- and the show itself brings that about with all the moments of closeness and uneasiness, the alignment and the alienation (Season 2 has been a roller-coaster). The random women ("random" from a Wincest perspective) are only part of the things that come between them, and the push-pull energy between Sam and Dean is just fascinating and irresistible to me.

Thank you so much for reading, and for your wonderfully kind thoughts. ♥ :)
~*~Goddess of Death~*~: Protectorsorphan_project on February 1st, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
This covered everything so wonderfully, so completely, it's amazing it's only 1-1.5 sentences a peice.

Great work!

<3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 1st, 2007 06:43 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!

You're really only allowed 1 sentence per prompt (with lots of creative punctuation), and it's a challenge to tell enough of a story in each of them without getting all incoherent.

But I DO love a challenge, and oh, how I love the boys...
Elleellel on February 1st, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC)
This was perfect.Painful and beautiful and just THEM.

John's suspected for a long time now, and watching Dean practically dissolve after Sam leaves, he knows it’s true; maybe this break will set things right, will take away the unnatural longing that binds his sons so strongly together
This broke something in me,that is exactly how I think John'd react to them,being together...
Beautiful!
:)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 2nd, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
Painful and beautiful and just THEM.
That makes me so happy, because it all comes down to that. It needs to be "them" for it to really work, and all of their baggage and love and dysfunction just make it all the more compelling, at least to me.

This broke something in me,that is exactly how I think John'd react to them,being together...
I think he would too, and even though it's John and I can't imagine he'd be remotely pleased with this going on, I also think that he probably wouldn't confront it directly. I think he'd have some inkling of his own hand in creating the dynamic that led to this in the first place.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I'm so glad you liked it. :)
(no subject) - ellel on February 2nd, 2007 08:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: SN Lovershalfshellvenus on February 17th, 2007 06:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

They really take a lot out of you, writing these things, but I so love the challenge of making 1-sentence stories/scenarios out of each single prompt. There are two J-squared ones, three Prison Break ones (!), and then the Gen version of this same prompt table. A total of 7-- yowza! :)