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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9 // LJ Idol Friends And Rivals // LJ Idol Season 10

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
"Look with your eyes, not with your hands."

I don't think I've ever said that to our kids, but at least one of them probably deserved to hear it. ;)

We went out to dinner Saturday night, and in the parking lot I saw something weird enough to investigate. A pair of large cat heads was staring at us from inside a car:

These are pillows that hook over the front seat headrests, to fill the gap in the sharp angle between the seat and where the headrest touches the back of your head. Maybe you're thinking, "Well of course, everyone knows that's a thing." It's news to me! And given the problem I have with the torturous modern headrest designs, those pillows are very tempting. ;)

Sunday, we went on a short trip to a neat place mentioned recently in the local paper: Baker's Street West. This is the upstairs of the large Hein & Company Bookstore, remodeled to celebrate all things Sherlock. It was terrific! There are mystery plays hosted there on occasion, and the 221B exhibit was really neat.

The bookstore itself has a lot of neat antiques as decorations among its various sections, as well as a spiral tower of books, and two store cats. :)

Next week: all the gardening and paperwork that did not get done this past weekend. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
19 May 2018 @ 12:02 am
I mentioned a while back that I finished listening to the S-Town podcast series, which was captivating and haunting and really sad.

In general, though I haven't listened to a lot of podcast shows, I think I've inadvertantly listened to some of the best around. I started with Nightvale, which is creepy and funny and wonderful. Alice Isn't Dead was good (and you have to love the logo for it), and our daughter recommended Serial and S-Town, both of which were terrific. But I'm having trouble finding other shows that seem appealing.

When I look for humor, I tend to find podcasts about 1) Dudes drinking beer and yakking, 2) Dudes getting stoned and yakking, and 3) Angry dudes. Ugh. Nightvale is humorous, but it's probably considered a drama series. The various other genres of people talking about art, TV, culture, theater, movies, books, politics, sports... meh. Actually, politics would be more likely to amp up my blood pressure, but who needs that?

So, what have YOU listened to that you really like? Do you have any podcasts to recommend?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
12 May 2018 @ 11:45 pm
and tomorrow will be strange. It'll be the first without any kids at home, which is a tough adjustment. This empty nest situation is for the birds!

I spent some time looking around Amazon for potential gift ideas to send to the kids, including a hedgehog statue for the garden (gads, but Amazon's interpretation of search terms is aggravating). I stumbled across all sorts of items for fairy gardens and dollhouses/ miniature gardens, which I didn't know was even a thing! There were some of those at the plant nursery last week too, but who knew it was so widespread? Also, hedgie-themed planters. And at the other end of the scale, a figurine for about $55. Boy, for that kind of money, I want a certified Rodin replica!

We're in the process of re-landscaping parts of the garden, to replace the plants that died when the big shade trees had to be removed. I so miss Capitol Nursery, which went under near the end of the recession. We're left with some smaller nurseries and a larger one with little variety, and none of them is as willing to special-order as Capitol was. In Sacramento, our challenges are the hot sun and finding plants that bloom in the summer (since that's about half of the year here). And on the flip side, avoiding things that can't take freezing temperatures. :O Plus... when the guidelines say "full sun," is that Sacramento sun? Because it's pretty horrific....

Still working on my post-surgery exercise, which has really been hard on my feet. The plantar fasciitis is looming, but the blisters alone would be bad enough. Yikes. Just 2-3 weeks and I should be able to ease back into bicycling, and ideally will be able to add in some elliptical training rather than pavement pounding.

Can't stay awake, so I'll close this for now. Happy Mid-May to one and all.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
29 April 2018 @ 11:51 pm
I started working from home part-time last week, which did not go as well as I'd hoped. Sitting up is still a problem, and it's hard to find a position where I'm not putting too much pressure on areas I need to be careful about. Most of the various angles and maneuvers wind up making my back hurt...

I'm not spending as much time on the sofa as before, obviously, so not watching as much TV. Still walking twice a day, which has resulted in some blisters and the fear of reawakening my plantar fasciitis. My body is in shape to walk for hours, but my feet are not. Why can't they just behave? :(

I've read quite a few books over the last few weeks. The Nine: Thieves of Fate #1 took a while to finish. Interesting characters, kind of an AU England steampunk setting. Y Is For Yesterday was a quick and gripping read, and Precious And Grace a warm, comfortable one. The people and setting in the No.1 Ladies' Detective Agency books always offer a soothing way to spend time. Then five more books, including All The Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater, which I picked because I enjoyed the Raven Cycle so much. I almost abandoned it after the first few pages, once the genre of magical realism became clear—that really isn't my thing. But the author's style persuaded me to keep going, and I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Up next, possibly a re-read of a Harry Bosch book or maybe this is one is in a satellite universe that includes Harry but has someone else as the main character. \o?

On TV, we're watching Bosch Season 4, Altered Carbon (I'm really impressed with how well they're conveying so much of the book, and what they've added), Ozark, iZombie (catching up), and I'm pretty sure the Blacklist finale and possibly The Blindspot finale are sitting on the Tivo. We finished The Alienist several weeks ago, which was good but much gorier and darker than I'd like. Similarly, I'm wondering if we'll want to even finish The Frankenstein Chronicles, despite the lure of Sean Bean.

Movie-wise, we finally saw Wonder Woman, which was much better than we expected, and Baby Driver, which I think of as being in the "Flashy Trashy" category. Great driving stunts, though. Also in that vein, we re-watched The Boondock Saints over Spring Break, as our son wanted to see it. It's funny—I'd remembered that the whole Rocco character thing was bad, but I'd forgotten just HOW bad. O.U.C.H.Feels like the character was acted by an amateur who was a personal friend of the director. So much scenery-chewing! And then there's Willem Dafoe's over-the-top character, half gay stereotype and half homophobe. Also more awkward on the second viewing...

And to aid the walking, I've been listening to music and podcasts. I finished S-Town, recommended by our daughter. It was utterly fascinating but also heartbreaking, and yes—probably too invasive. But incredibly good. I'm trying to get caught up on Nightvale as well, which I used to save as a reward while running. Once I hit the three-mile mark, I would start and episode to help me through the last two miles. But I haven't run in almost two years, what with my feet waging mutiny, so now I'm incredibly behind.

Now I'm off to bed, with a work-day looming. Hoping to get caught up on reading my friends-list for the past few weeks and seeing what you've all been up to.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
18 April 2018 @ 03:26 pm
You think you have a handle on things in life, and then things change for no apparent reason. And I'm not just talking about your favorite product disappearing from store shelves, like why Dannon's Cherry-Chocolate and Raspberry-Chocolate Light Greek Yogurt disappears and Coconut start to show up instead. o_O

I'm thinking of, say, the Mark Trail comic strip. Mark Trail is more of a serial than a "comic," and it's one I don't read because... a) histrionic and b) ZZZzzzz. The drawings are good, but it isn't funny and the plot arcs are really long. But then, back in February, clowns showed up. CLOWNS. In a nature-based comic strip. It was like a Twilight Zone incident. And yet, I still couldn't be bothered to try to figure out how the hell the clowns fit into the plot, since there really can't be any sane reason for that in the Mark Trail universe. Maybe it was just to shock people to see if they were paying attention? \o?

Here's another one. Our giant-key calculator (that HalfshellHusband liked, because he fat-fingers things and also because the display was large) finally died last month after 15+ years of use. It had started to offer additional numbers or functions any time you tried to add or subtract, and there was no way to make it return to sanity. So, I bought another one at Rite Aid. When HSH saw it, he complained that the numbers were backwards, which I hadn't even noticed. But then he went online to see about getting a different one, and ALL of them have the numbers backwards. Meaning that the top row is 789 instead of 123, and the 123 row is on the bottom. Just like your phone...ISN'T. Nor is any sensible way of thinking about numbers and their left=>right smallest=>largest progression. Like, you know, the number line we learned in grade school. WHO MADE THAT DECISION? And why? I notice now that the right-side "extra number zone" on my computer keypad has them in the same backwards order, but who uses that? I still use the upper number keys, since I kind of know where they are, and again, that right-size block is backwards. Who is responsible for this? A dyslexic mechanical engineer? I need someone to blame.

Oh, and in post-surgery news... I stopped using the major pain med (Dilaudid) around Saturday or Sunday (it didn't do as good a job as you'd think), and I'm down to large doses of Motrin when needed. Sitting is still uncomfortable, but better. I was using an inflatable travel pillow to sit on, until it finally sprang a leak. Now I have an actual travel pillow that is too firm, and cuts the circulation off in one leg.\o? I've been walking a little more each day, in two stretches. Yesterday was 2.0 and 2.8 miles. Today will probably be 2.9 and 3.0 miles. It's more manageable than one longer walk, but it's enough that I'm now getting sweaty and I have to sunblock and clean up twice a day. It's been fairly cool, but soon I'll be wearing shorts (mega sunblock). :(

Meanwhile, my bike conditioning drops off daily (it'll be completely gone in another week or two), which is killing me. HSH is trying to get me to think of it as, "5 more weeks until I can bike again," but it's still too long. :(

So. What clowns have invaded YOUR lifestyle lately? (Literally or figuratively, though if it's literally, please be vague with the details...)

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
14 April 2018 @ 04:26 pm
Sorry for the delay in posting. I think my original plan was to get back online sooner and let you all know I made it through the surgery okay, instead of letting scary silence build up. But that got lost in a blur of days of pain meds, not being able to sit up much, and then once I could... spending a horrific amount of time trying to finish my yearly self-evaluation stuff for work before yesterday's deadline. Pretty much all day yesterday, and I am SO glad that's over with. Now I have to finish our taxes over the next couple of days. :O

And no, I did not actually finish either of those before the surgery came up, despite all effort. I kept trying to do the work eval thing, and I just couldn't focus enough to summarize all of that coherently and in the new (New!Every!Single!Year!) format needed for the office. /o\

So, the surgery went well, but it was long. 4 1/2 hours in surgery, then 5 hours in the recovery room. Most of that last part was trying to get awake enough from the anaesthesia to go home. And to demonstrate that I didn't need the catheter any more, because nobody wants to go home with that!

I didn't even see the operating room. The anaesthetic hit while I was being wheeled through the hallway, so the next thing I know, I was in the recovery bay. Woke up in pain, and I thought the meds would have done a better job over time, but they just lessened the pain instead of blocking it. Still, could have been worse. Lots of unexpected groin pain along the tendons, which I realized afterwards meant that they probably had my knees spread apart for hours until the joints locked up. \o/ I couldn't move my right leg at all without lifting it with my hands. Funny—the pain reminded me of when I was pregnant and the kids's heads dropped to where they could cut the circulation to those leg nerves and numb everything until I couldn't move. Our son was the worst, since he could get both legs at the same time.

The pre-op and post-op recovery nurses were awesome, and I was home by about 6:30 p.m. for an exciting dinner of yogurt and a banana, and an early bedtime around 9:30. And thanks to having a pain medication that did not involve synthetic codeine, I got a fairly good night's sleep instead of the itchy restlessness after my first surgery.

So I'm home, on the mend, and mourning the six weeks until I can get back on the bicycle again. SIX WEEKS! I'll also be desperately trying to avoid gaining a ton of weight until then, so... \o?

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
09 April 2018 @ 10:45 pm
Surgery is tomorrow, with a 6:15 arrival time (why oh why so early?) Today has been the fasting and clearing out, which is miserable. What a lonnnnnng day.

I'll probably be back online Wednesday, when the anaesthesia fog lifts. See you on the flip side!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
04 April 2018 @ 12:21 pm
HalfshellHusband wanted to try a new recipe yesterday, which (in theory) was Spicy Thai Chicken with soy-vinegar sauce.

In reality, I came home from work and walked into a house that smelled like feet. Ugh!

Still true hours later. God, SO disgusting. And no, it did not taste good. *palate reboot*

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
03 April 2018 @ 06:50 pm
Back at work, plugging and chugging away. After a week off, I feel bad leaving HalfshellHusband at home alone. More and more, retirement is looking like a good idea, though the health insurance issue is the biggest obstacle. Speaking of which...

Hey, did I mention that I'm having a hysterectomy next week? No? I was semi-prepared for it, because anatomical things started to migrate to new locations about 20 months ago. But I'd hoped the solution wouldn't be quite so drastic. Also, the whole episode with The Lumptm was unforeseen. I'm really using that insurance this year. :(

So, I'm getting stuff done while I can, before the surgery and long recovery. That includes excavating part of the yard to remove dead plants (and rotting tree roots) before replanting, and finishing our stupid taxes. Started weeks ago! \o? For After The Surgery, I have lots of books on Kindle and in the physical "to read" pile, and lots of recorded TV. Some of the TV is aspirational (hi, Poldark and Z-Nation!), some of it is new things on Netflix and Amazon.

We've been watching Instinct, and I keep feeling we're imminently going to bail. I like Alan Cumming, but the writing is clumsy, and I don't believe in his character. Also, the fashion sense? *shudders* So much hideous plaid, colored in what I call the Palate of Gastric Distress. Or maybe peat bogs are his inspiration? Still... yuck. Also, HSH protests at the setup not finding a way to let Cumming's character be Scottish, because that's 75% of the fun of Alan Cumming for us.

Need some random amusement? You've probably already seen this epic Twitter thread on stolen fried rice, but if not, it's hilarious. Also, courtesy of an author whose blog I follow, I bring you Die, Demon Cabbage, Die! and the misadventures of a writer without a deadline. There's a pumpkin ghost, which I would never have thought could be a real thing! What's not to love?

So, how are YOU doing?