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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2022 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9 // LJ Idol Friends And Rivals // LJ Idol Season 10

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
19 August 2019 @ 12:26 am
We drove back home Thursday, after 9-10 days up in Oregon. Somehow, we were back in time for the tail end of a heat wave! Oh, Sacramento--you make it SO hard to miss you...

We didn't do a lot on vacation besides visit family. My mother is in her 90s, and has very little interest in going anywhere. Most days, I got up and exercised, and then we ran errands after lunch (the grocery store, Fred Meyer's, Walmart, etc.) Sitting around the house all day makes me stir-crazy, and this is typical for our visits. My mom is only interested in going out to eat (which I usually avoid), and my dad was exactly the same way over the last 5-6 years of his life (and SO sedentary, in general). My mom has been either depressed or just tired and physically achy since he passed, which is understandable. But she has slowed down a lot this past year. I thought she was getting some energy back, but apparently not. It's sad and worrisome.

HalfshellHusband and I got away to the coast one of the days we were there. It was unexpectedly gorgeous, sunny skies and temperatures around 70o with very little wind. I walked a looong way down the beach at the water line, and then turned around and came back. SO nice. The beach itself was a mess. I thought we were witnessing the aftermath of some kind of tragic 'crab tide' disaster, with the number of (often tiny) shells lying around. But I looked it up later, and it turned out to be molting season for the male crabs, so they were all just shedding their old shells. Mostly. IDK-- some of those things didn't really look empty. :O

My souvenir from that trip was the tiniest sand dollar I've ever seen, smaller than a quarter and utterly intact apart from some chipped edges.

I didn't make it to Tryon Creek this time, unfortunately. All my walking was in Eugene, out in the open sun on the Amazon parkway and confined to the areas between major intersections. Thank goodness for podcasts! I listened to several more episodes of By The Book, reconfirming once again why Dean is America's favorite husband...

There were a lot of tempting blackberries along the parkway (sadly, I never found time to pick any) and some nice wildflowers. I finally identified the one with the beautiful blue flowers I've wondered about for so long. It's wild chicory. Look at that gorgeous color!

Now that we're back home, it's been nice to go cycling again. There were some surprising side effects Friday and Saturday. I guess it's been awhile since I took more than a week off from cycling, because I found myself battling headaches and neck pain and couldn't figure out why. But it's the weight of the helmet in that crouched position, and I used to expect that after a vacation! And dreaded it, but still... Maybe taking just 7-8 days off conserves enough muscle strength to avoid going through that readjustment? That's how the last few years have been. But 10 days was clearly too many.

What that means is that I need to get out of town more often and for longer periods of time, because if I've forgotten about that neck-pain penalty then I haven't been doing enough vacationing vs. staycationing! :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
08 August 2019 @ 12:54 am
We're up in Oregon visiting family, so I'm only online here and there. Things were ridiculously busy leading up to this trip. I was up until almost 2 a.m. the night before we left, getting work things settled for the next week and a half. :O

The trip up here... oh, boy. When we drove up a year ago, it was so smoky that we couldn't see much of anything from about Willows to Weed, and there was a lot of smoke going farther north as well. We had no idea the burn damage was so extensive. Much of the forest near I-5 from Redding northward is gone. There is a pocket near Castle Crags that was untouched, but so much of the area is just destroyed. It'll be 20 years or longer before it even begins to resemble forest again. So sad. :(

There were no other interesting sights along the way, unlike the scattered plastic chairs across I-5 we almost crashed into a couple of years ago.

I HAVE had a couple of wildlife sightings on some recent bike rides. One was a group of quail crossing the bike path up in front of me, where the chicks were so new they still had fuzz instead of feathers. They were running after the lead quail, flapping their little arms. Armlets? Winglets? Wingalings? So cute.

The other event was this Monday. There was a snowy egret in a tree, sitting upright and looking so out of place. I have never seen an egret in a tree before.

With all these years of riding, I have also never seen a turtle crossing the bike path (or anywhere near it), and yet HalfshellHusband has seen that twice in the last couple of years. They must like him better!

Our new kitty is doing well, getting comfortable in his new home. He loves the stairs-- they feature very prominently in his play sessions, where he rockets up and down them, and pauses along the way to look for scary things waiting to get him through the bannisters. SO much energy.

He's found out where The Boy's room is, and spends a lot of time monitoring The Boy's location--much like his predecessor. HSH went upstairs the other morning to shut windows, and found the cat lying in front of the closed door to The Boy's room, chin on his paws and looking as flat and dejected as any cat can.

That was slightly more pathetic than those times when the cat drags his mouse toy out of the jar in the living room and plays with it all by himself... And he does NOT lack for attention.

Except for now, while we're on vacation and The Boy is working long days at his summer job. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
29 July 2019 @ 11:45 pm
I thought I was going for a bike ride yesterday, despite the heat, but after getting sunblocked and ready and then checking to see how hot it was... 95o at 11:30 a.m.! GAH! Foiled again. :(

My absolute limit is about 94 degrees, at the end of a ride-- and when that happens, it's usually the result of denial about how bad the temperature is going to get. :O *cue theme music for another round of Why-the-hell-do-I-LIVE-here?*

So instead, I rode in the garage and struggled to make it to 55 minutes before calling it quits. And then attacked the garage with the shop-vac, because the cobweb situation was out of control again. I swear, Sacramento is all heat, spiders, and blowing dirt. Ugh. /o\

In entertainment news... we're slowly catching up on iZombie. I'm SO desperate for a happy ending, especially after how dark the show has become, but it's not on the horizon yet. Evil!MarciaBrady is really testing my patience. I know the character has an actual name, but that's who she is in my head. Her come-uppance is really overdue. I'm hoping it happens, and that irony is involved...

We're nearing the end of Stranger Things, S3, which... IDK. At least it's not all about 13-year-olds making out, which nobody wants to see. Much of what I like about this series is the soulfulness of El's character, which finally rose up about mid-season. The gore and the mysteriously increasing 'loser' rep dogging Steve? Not a fan. :(

However, thanks to [personal profile] thewayne, I have this Stranger Things: The Wonder Years video to share. It's funny even if you've never watched "The Wonder Years," which I haven't. Our son enjoyed it too, and then led me to this Star Wars bad-lip-reading video, which was totally new to me. How can that weird little fake song be so catchy? It's earworm-y. \o?

This past weekend, we rewatched the LEGO Batman movie, since our son hadn't seen it before and the humor is right up his alley. I still get a kick out of it—the random sidekicks like "Condiment King" and whatever that derpy Bunny thing is, the L-shaped components of the flopping-around-the-floor tantrum, the mini Lego lobster, the choice of 'super-bad' criminals locked away in the phantom zone.

I also like that LEGO Batman has his own personal, grumpy canon. When he's asked, "So, you live in Bruce Wayne's basement?", Batman answers, "No, Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's ATTIC." That's his worldview in a nutshell.

And hey—more power to him!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 July 2019 @ 12:30 am
We have a new kitty!

When our near-term traveling finished in late June, we were finally in a position to start looking at adoptable cats again. First, I had to get all my shoes and belts out of the laundry room after the Great Closet De-Molding Project, which took a couple of weeks. Then we prepped the washer/dryer area of the laundry room, in case we wound up with another shy animal who wanted to hide behind the washing machine (what a pain THAT was when we were trying out foster kitties). We were then able to go to the city animal shelter one weekend (a complete waste, as they closed early and we didn't even get to meet any of their cats), and back to the county animal shelter the following weekend.

A very enthusiastic shelter volunteer selected several friendly, shorthaired young-adult cats for us to meet. There was a sweet orange female who was a little too timid, and a friendly black-and-white medium-haired one who set off HSH's allergies. We went into a shared room to meet a different female cat, but the male cat in that room got to us first. He craved attention much more than the other cat did, and was extremely happy to sit on HSH's lap and be petted. A.K.A., he was not remotely intimidated by HSH, which was a big issue when we were trying to work with foster cats.

So, despite our goal of getting a 1- to 2-year-old cat, we picked one who was estimated to be 4. Again. But what a personality! He's sweet and cuddly, and loves to be with people, and he's very polite. He's also healthy, apart from a cataract in his left eye that is probably the result of an earlier injury.

Our regular vet thinks he's probably closer to being three than four, which certainly fits with his non-cuddling behavior. This cat has turned "running around scaring yourself when you're bored" into an Olympic event. Wow.

After a lot of debate over naming him (and searching online for "sweetheart," "friendly," and "friend" in other languages), we settled on calling him "Kashka." This is not the Russian girl's name, it's the African boy's name that means "friendly man." And he really, really is!

Meet our new boy... below the cutCollapse )

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
11 July 2019 @ 10:40 am
I saw this a block from my house this morning, while driving into work:

A woman on roller blades was coasting fairly quickly down a sloping side street, and came around the corner onto the busy main street. She was pushing a stroller, in which her 1-year-old was standing up on the seat and unsteadily hanging onto the collapsed canopy rim. A car was approaching on that main street, and the woman was busy staring at her f*%!ing phone while all this was going on!!!


My face kind of froze in an O position watching all of this. Really, lady? REALLY?

Things happen! Your stroller might hit a bump, knocking your toddler out. YOU might hit a bump and yank on the stroller, knocking your toddler out. Your toddler might just fall out because she let go or lost her balance.

Or, heaven forbid, a car might swerve toward you or you might not turn that corner as tightly as you planned.

The result of all of these situations would be bad at best and devastating at worst. And you wouldn't even see it coming, because you were paying more attention to your phone than your child. :( :(

Plus, you know what? There are lap belts in strollers (and harness belts in jogging strollers) for a reason. Babies and small children are not smart about their own safety. That's YOUR job!

Ugh. I realize that I'm more cautious than many parents, and perhaps unusually gifted at visualizing potential negative side-effects of a given situation (regardless of the ages of those involved). But COME ON.

I'm not asking you to bubble-wrap your child, or make her timid and fearful. I just want you to understand her developmental limitations, and repect the basic laws of physics!


The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 July 2019 @ 11:23 pm
featured a machine eating a tree next door while I was getting ready for work. I mean yes, I was awake, but it was still before 9 a.m.!!

I took Monday off, since our daughter was visiting (only for about two days), but today was right back to the usual routine. I drove past Nubbin's Drive-In on the way to work, wondering exactly who or what "Nubbin" was, and whether the place was even open anymore. I never see customers there.

Saturday, HalfshellHusband and I drove past a car wash on the way to the freeway. It had words on the side which read "Free Monster," and I'm still puzzling over what that meant. Free Monstertm Energy Drinks? Free plushie monster toy? \o? Or is it the best of both worlds, where the business is giving away ACTUAL monsters? \o/

Either way, I think that's way too much excitement for a car wash...

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
01 July 2019 @ 10:18 pm
Last weekend, I discovered that the solar panels that heat our pool were leaking water onto the roof, which was puzzling. The installing company made a service call Wednesday to check it out, and told us that raccoons had chewed through some of the panels, which we'll now have to replace. NOOOOoooo! :O

Just before Christmas, we paid more than $5,000 to get a bunch of squirrels (and their rat friends) out of the area between the first and second stories of the house, and to repair the damage they'd done to the roof. /o\

This is maddening. Back when we had the Whale, we had no squirrels in our yard. Any skunks, possom, or raccoons that passed through didn't stay for long, and our problems with mice and rats ended once we started putting the Whale out at night. But then we lost him to kidney failure 5 1/2 years ago, poor guy. :(

Before the Whale, we had another male cat who kept the critters out of the yard, so until this year, we never realized how bad our problem could be. The kitty we lost in December was worthless as a hunter (she was afraid of the outdoors), so the situation has been building for awhile. We're still looking for a new cat, and really hoping for an indoor/outdoor cat that hunts, but no results thus far. We really don't want to be forced into a weird situation where we might have an outdoor-only barn cat and an indoor-only house cat. Oh Whale, why did you leave us so soon? :(

The Whale was a large animal, but I don't think that's necessary for a good hunter. The other male cat, Thor, was only about 11.5 pounds. There's no telling whether Thor's sister, the 6.5-pound runt kitty, was any good at hunting, since her main prey was the rubberbands the mail carrier used to dump at the postal station in the middle of the block. Tigger overlapped with both Thor and the Whale, so her abilities (or lack thereof) were never obvious. No string or pencil was safe from her, but that's not saying much.

When I say 'large,' I mean biggish, but not freakishly huge. 'Huge' brings the "Absolute Unit" sub-Reddit to mind. Fortunately, that has mostly devolved into people posting pictures of animals (often, their own animals), rather than human beings. Some of the critters are obviously fatlets, and others... who can tell? The sheer verticality in that one is too distracting to judge. Plus, whatever is going on here. There are also several rabbits of an alarmingly large breed. Like, phobia-alert large. :O

The "Chonker" sub-Reddit is mostly cats, missing the opportunity to feature something like this fellow here. He could be puffing out his feathers a little bit, but wow. He looks less like a bird and more like a croquet ball in a bird costume. :O

By contrast, the Whale was merely of the "I take up an entire sofa cushion by myself" and "My bed is a dog-bed" size. Big and long, but not in a "Did my mother secretly breed with another species?" kind of way. :)

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 June 2019 @ 01:34 pm
The previous weekend's trip down south to watch our daughter's college graduation and to pick up our son for the summer went well, apart from some run-ins with excessive L.A. traffic and an unholy number of bathroom stops (due to HalfshellHusband's Lasix meds). The weather was nice—fairly cool for this time of year, and southern California apparently also had a late spring, as bunches of things were blooming that have previously always been dead and 'done' during my other mid-June pick-up runs. There were gorgeous purple Jacaronda trees all over L.A. and San Diego, and purple ice plant along some of the hills in and around L.A.

We had to leave with my moldy closet project half-finished. Things that still needed cleaning and putting away were strewn across multiple rooms, and the house was in a state. Ugh... SUCH a long process. Last weekend, I Googled how to get mold out of suede and leather (an ongoing problem in this house). The answer made me lose the will to live. Good grief—with all of those belts and shoes, that meant hours more work! I finally finished the whole thing yesterday around 6pm, so it was three weekends and a month of chaos to take care of that chore. /o\

Let's meme instead. This is the "random three questions" thing that's been going around, and [personal profile] bleodswean gave me these:

1. lakes
These have been the foundation of my hiking and backpacking experiences over the years. As a child, my first backpacking trip was up to a lake in the Utah mountains (12 miles in, because I do not know WHAT my Dad was thinking—two families and six kids, where my little sister and I were the youngest at ages 6 and 5. Seriously. Though we made it).

From when I was about 7- to 13-years old, we backpacked into a lake in the Mt. Jefferson Wilderness Area in Oregon for our summer vacation. We swam, hiked, played with other kids, played with the baby toads that were everywhere in August. Good times. :)

As an adult, my favorite California hiking has been in the Lakes Basin area of the Sierra Nevada. We used to go car camping there with the kids for a weekend each summer, but stopped once they got older and our daughter lost interest. Also, HSH hates camping. :( I've only hiked there a couple of times since then. I miss it!

2. bath or shower
I used to prefer baths to showers—who doesn't love soaking in the tub with a book? But over the last 15-16 years, it seems as if I'm always in so much of a hurry that even setting time aside for a nice hot bath just isn't a priority anymore. However, whirlpool tubs at B&Bs are still my vacation preference, when it's just HSH and me. :)

3. trampolines
My first three years of elementary school, rainy day recesses were spent in the gym, which had a trampoline. I LOVE trampolines! I can't do any tricks of the tumbling sort because they kick off my vertigo, so that's a risky activity, but basic jumping up-and-down and the occasional drop-sit are good enough for me. :)

OTOH, the vertigo plus bouncing makes trampolines even MORE fun! It also adds a bit of mystery, which you don't get much of as an adult. Bounce houses do the same, to a lesser degree. Sadly, I haven't spent much time with either since our youngest was about 8...

That's it for me. If you'd like three random topics of your own, just leave me a note in the comments! :D

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
14 June 2019 @ 08:31 am
Up and down I-5 for the next couple of days, going to our daughter's graduation on Saturday and moving stuff to The Boy's new apartment before bringing him home.

And? After helping review and edit three papers between thet two of them and being up until 1:30-2:30 every night, I am now officially more tired than I ever was during my OWN Finals week! \o?

Don't break anything while I'm gone...