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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am
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Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9 // LJ Idol Friends And Rivals // LJ Idol Season 10


 
 
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
11 November 2018 @ 12:27 am
It's a three-day weekend, and I woke up this morning with Planstm. These plans involved a bike ride, and getting the last remaining new purchases planted before we get a freeze (the lows have been in the mid-30s the last couple of nights).

Instead... smoke. SO much smoke. It was floating through the streets like a light fog and leaking through the door frames, all courtesy of a fire farther up the valley. I hoped it would lift up during the day, as it had on Friday, but instead it got thicker and thicker until it blotting out the sky and choking off the sun. Ugggghhhh. My whole day turned into being trapped inside the house, reading Idol entries and watching the air quality index get worse and worse until it reached numbers I've never seen in this area before. :O

We haven't really had any rain this fall, so things are very dry. This is very late in the year for a wildfire, but it's going full bore up north, wreaking a lot of destruction in very short time. I hope it gets contained soon (there's no rain on the horizon), and I certainly hope tomorrow is nothing like today. I need to get outside and do things!

I DID bicycle yesterday, though I got out very late. TOO late, really. I cut my ride short by a couple of miles, and still overestimated the amount of daylight left (a side-effect of the time change). Plus, maybe because of the high smoke, it was MUCH colder than forecast. More like 62-degrees than the 67-68 it should have been at that time of the day. I stepped outside to go, and went back in for an ear band and a warmer jersey. I was still cold for the duration of the ride. A very sudden weather change.

And yet, considering what happened with today, or more accurately, what did NOT happen, I'm glad I made it out yesterday for as long as I did. :O

More tomorrow, and keeping my fingers crossed for cleaner air. Right now, I feel a little breathing challenged here inside the house. And all of this is MUCH harder for HalfshellHusband... :(

 
 
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
09 November 2018 @ 12:55 pm
One Hell Of A Disguise
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 5 | 1130 words
Kayfabe (maintaining the reality of the persona at all times)

x-x-x-x-x

Trol'gorak was not the first to wear the human suit, but he was probably the first to think it was trying to kill him.

He never told anyone. It had been impressed upon him millennia ago that such complaining was not done, that no self-respecting demon would ever gripe about such a basic assignment. No, his job was to 'demon up' and do the job.

Even if the suit pressed on his horns and rubbed the spikes off his tail.

Trol'gorak was undercover in the human world, learning about people and trying to find the best ways to torment and tempt them. As far as he could tell, the old ways worked as well as ever, but His Helliness wanted new research and new data.

In his cover position as an office drone, Trol'gorak had decided that humans already tortured themselves more effectively than anyone could ever dream of doing.

He based this conclusion on many things. Business attire, particularly the excruciating cramping of one's hooves and the proxy strangulation of anyone with a generous neckline. (Actually, 'generous' sounded like a euphemism for 'fat', whereas some demons simply tended to have a more substantial presence in the—okay, fine, so he had a fat neck, so what? Neckties were still evil!).

Working in business was dreadful too, at least the kind of work he did. Meetings, spreadsheets, expense statements, personal reviews… Quarterly reports, 'corporate vision' exercises, Secret Santas… Horrible. Possibly even the work of the Horned One himself.

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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

 
 
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
01 November 2018 @ 11:14 am
Employee Loyalty
LJ Idol Prize Fight | Week 4 | xxx words
Ghosting

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I've had some lousy jobs in my time, but this has got to be one of the worst. Okay, not the worst—I mean, it's not a gas station or a convenience store, or (god forbid) telemarketing. But it's the kind of place where you realize that if you don't get out, it'll drive you crazy.

It's one of those 'everything stores,' where they sell clothes, groceries, household goods, home repair products, toys, electronics, and pet and garden supplies. Kind of like a Walmart, but generic. Ultra low-rent, and definitely cheaper.

I mean, it even sounds like Hell.

The lighting isn't great. It's murky and sickly green out on the sales floor, and the back is either too dark or it's that eyeball-stabbing blinding desert brightness that guarantees you'll never sleep again. Every single thought hurts.

The parent company has probably forgotten the store exists, or maybe they just gave up on setting guidelines. Things are bizarrely inefficient. For instance, the store's layout changes every couple of weeks. It's all the same merchandise, it just moves around—like someone hitting 'shuffle' on an MP3 player. That means restocking stuff is a real pain. I don't know what the underlying thinking is. Maybe the theory is that forcing people to look harder for what they want keeps them shopping longer, increasing the chances of impulse buying. Well, as long as shoppers don't get frustrated and leave, anyway. Or maybe it boils down to a different managers having competing visions for the store, where they each get a few weeks to try out their ideas before it's someone else's turn.

Whatever. The whole thing is stupid and annoying, and you never know where anything is. That makes it hard to be helpful to our customers.

The customers, by the way, are the worst part of this job.

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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

 
 
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
31 October 2018 @ 12:48 pm
May your day be full of spooky sights, trick-or-treating toddlers, jack-o-lanterns, candy corn, and full-sized chocolate candy bars! \o/






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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 October 2018 @ 01:16 am
Family Secrets
LJ Idol Prize Fight |Week 3 | 1055 words
Tsundoku (Acquiring books with the intention of reading them, but letting them pile up unread)

x-x-x-x-x

Once, not so many years ago, a man named Edward Pribbert encountered some questionable-looking cheese. Being an overly trusting sort of person, Edward ate it anyway. He soon slipped out the proverbial back door of life, leaving one hell of a mess behind.

His two sisters, burdened with settling his estate, were the first to cross the threshold of his home since a refrigerator repairman had run shrieking over the hills and into a monastery decades ago.

"I told you he was a hoarder," Lucille said.

"You said you suspected." Eunice poked a pile of rotting magazines with her cane. "That isn't the same as actual evidence."

Lucille, who lived two doors down, merely sniffed. "You didn't hear the screams."

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
21 October 2018 @ 11:44 pm
I have done nothing about Halloweening the outside of the house, but I'm using this fabulous icon here before I run out of time.

So, the birthday came and went. Hopes of taking Friday off died with several work deadlines all finishing up then. I worked all day and still had to log back in at night to get stuff finished before midnight. /o\

However, HalfshellHusband was able to find me a tiny chocolate-chocolate cake, which was wonderful! I'm still largely off sugar, so a treat that lasts only 2-3 days is ideal. And it was delicious. ;)

In other news, Netflix cancelled Luke Cage (the only Marvel show I actually watch), which is disappointing. It was a great vehicle for Mike Colter, and a terrific opportunity for a lot of talented black actors-- a whole cast's worth! Fine, Netflix, whatever. :(

We've started watching Westworld on DVD, a show with a fascinating premise which makes us both a little nervous. The gratuitous T&A and the increasing amounts of sociopathic violence might eventually make that show unwatchable for us, much like Game of Thrones. Why did HBO have to be the network to back that show, instead of something like Showtime? Speaking of which, we're finally getting caught up on Homeland and the constant train wreck that is Carrie Matheson's life.

Out in the world itself, this is some of the best bicycling weather of the year, in terms of temperature, though the chance of fierce winds is always higher in the Spring and Fall. Today's ride was pretty good, other than my wearing my t-shirt inside-out because I thought it already WAS when I inverted it over my head and put it on. I think that's probably kind of a metaphor for my life as a whole right now...

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
14 October 2018 @ 01:39 am
Dreaming Big
Idol Prize Fight | Week 2 | 1038 words
My Mount Rushmore

x-x-x-x-x

Day 1
Genius idea came to me in a dream last night, one that could save this town from becoming more than a stoplight with a dead 7-11 and a herd of tumbleweeds.

Tourism.

Perfect, right? The only economy we've got around here is agribusiness, so how else are we going to bring people in? Yesiree, there's hope for us yet!


Day 2
Well. Tourism of what, though? This is Kansas. Nobody wants to see wheat fields and tornadoes—except on the news. We need something that'll make people pull off the road and spend some money!

Other places have done it—sometimes with nothing more than corn mazes and giant balls of string. I don't think that'll cut it for us, though. Too ordinary.

What if we mixed offbeat with artistic, which is basically the Butter Cow idea? Except not butter. Or cows. Because it's been done.

This might take a while…


Day 4
Patty mentioned monuments today at breakfast. Now there's an idea! Things like the liberty bell, the Lincoln Memorial, and the mountain with the heads of presidents. Those are way more impressive than corn mazes. Bigger.

We don't have that kind of history around here, but yes, we could potentially build something. I've got tons of land, for whatever we want to haul in and create. I've even got a rocky hill, if we want to carve into it.

So much possibility!


Day 6
I've always loved comic books. Who doesn't? So, I was thinking about a superhero tribute: Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman. I think people would really want to see that!

Maybe giant outdoor paper maché sculptures, so they could be painted different colors? But what about the wind? Because paper maché is really light. I mean, I don't want it blowing away to another zip code. And I'm not sure it'll hold up in the rain.

Great. Sturdy plus waterproof is really limiting. And boring. I might as well be talking about putting up billboards. Better keep thinking.


Day 7
Patty said my superhero idea was trademark infringement. Well, crud. People police everything nowadays, I swear!

Okay, so what else is all-American and makes people happy? Besides PBR and football… Oh hey, what about Mickey Mouse? Like, a huge statue of—

Crud. Patty says that's trademark infringement too.

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
09 October 2018 @ 11:59 pm
Seriously, while reading Idol entries at home last night... it sounded like possum raccoon-sized creatures were moving furniture on the roof. (Geez, let's hope it was the roof and not the between-floor space). Gah—it makes me miss The Whale more than ever. He policed our yard but good. :(

So, what will happen this weekend (besides maybe having to write another Idol entry? Or read other people's entries, whichever)? Will I be replanting parts of the yard? Digging up unloved bulbs in preparation for the fantasy in which I get landscaping fabric down before winter? Or wait, maybe I'll remember that outdoor painting I have to do? Or I might dive into additional decluttering, or even clean up the leavings from the last round? And there's always Halloween decorations, if I'm really kidding myself.

Please let the answer not be "none of those things." Ideally, one or two of them will happen...

Viewing updates: We'd been rewatching The Blacklist with The Boy before he went back to school, and made it almost to the end of S2 with him. Now we're in mid S3. The Boy loves Reddington's bizarre and often-random anecdotes as much as we do, and I'd forgotten some of them. Season One had a priceless aside about Red smoking his first cigar "with Marnie Petersen in fifth grade. Funny little bat-faced girl... I adored her." The combination of 'bat-faced' and 'adored' is pure Reddington. That would be some fun writing!

Our daughter got me hooked on Quantico, despite it being the kind of Pretty-People show I usually don't watch. And I am a little frustrated with it. The narrative style is kind of like How To Get Away With Murder, except the show lacks the shock-and-awe talent of Viola Davis. I also dislike most of the characters (which, okay, IS common between those two shows). But I do envy Priyanka Chopra's looks. :)

Movie-wise, HalfshellHusband and I watched The Kids Are Alright —the Who one, not the Julianne Moore drama. Still can't explain Pete Townshend's OTP guitar antics (or smashing), but there are some great performances in that movie. Really, the live versions of "Baba O'Riley" and "Won't Get Fooled Again" (from the same concert) are on FIRE. Whoo!

Bookwise? There was Thunderhead a few weeks ago (the second in Neal Shusterman's "Scythe" cycle). That man has such an imagination, and so many flavors of dystopia. I also finished Never, Never, a retelling of Peter Pan from the perspective of James Hook as someone brought to Neverland as a Lost Boy who never wanted to stay and who was shaped by the cruel indifference of the boy who didn't want to grow up. Nicely done. Currently still working through Shadow Show, a collection of stories in homage to Ray Bradbury. Really liked the Joe Hill and Dan Chaon stories in this one. No idea what's next. I'll probably get buried in reading for Idol soon.

So, are there any movies on the horizon that I can look forward to? We haven't had a movie date in a while—the end of summer is the driest season—and I'm getting kind of stir crazy.

 
 
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
07 October 2018 @ 12:03 am
Geez, I haven't posted since before I took The Boy back down south to college two weeks ago!

I'm up in Portland visiting family this weekend (HalfshellHusband is still at home), and then it'll be right back to work on Monday. It's great and yet I know I'll be dragging all week long. /o\

After spending the summer moving furniture (and learning how to pack a truck), The Boy did a surprisingly good job of reassembling his school stuff and boxing up much of it for the trip south. It was all over the upstairs playroom in various stages of assembly for about a week, during which the cat sat in the middle of it as if she were afraid he might sneak off without her noticing. And boy, did that make our son feel guilty. :O

He and I went shopping for additional supplies, since he's in an apartment with friends this year instead of on-campus. Moving him in is mostly a two-day effort. Drive down, unpack stuff, get whatever he still needs, and then drive back the next day. It's so much easier going to north L.A. than driving through L.A. to San Diego with our daughter, doing all those same things, and then driving back. Basically, going down to San Diego adds about 4-5 more hours onto each direction because of the time it takes to get through L.A. traffic. Yikes.

I returned and then it was a blur of work, getting All The Things done last weekend (since I knew I'd be gone THIS weekend), and then work again. I'm semi afraid that by the time I come up for air again, I'll have lost traction on things like replanting parts of the garden (some of which got scorched over the summer) and a little outdoor painting over pre-primed repair areas that have been waiting... about two years? Yark.

Has everyone been well? I'll bet some of you are trying to Do All The Things before the snow season starts, which is an even bigger ordeal.