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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9 // LJ Idol Friends And Rivals // LJ Idol Season 10

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
12 September 2018 @ 11:51 pm
We finally finished watching Luke Cage, S2, which wasn't quite as good as S1. Lots of filler, seemingly designed to stretch out the number of episodes (8 would probably have been enough, and there were 13!) Still, the acting... What a season for Alfre Woodard (whom I've loved for decades), and a lovely swan song for Reg E. Cathey (and his marvelous voice). Shades was captivating and charismatic all the way through, and Mike Coulter was as smooth and handsome as ever. And would make a far better Jack Reacher than Tom Cruise, just saying... Ahem.

We're still watching The Blacklist with The Boy, and have also started Jack Ryan on Amazon. Meanwhile, I'm about 4/5ths of the way through Call Me By Your Name (which I'm watching solo). Our daughter is visiting, and she wants to see it too, but is unwilling to watch it with me because of potential awkwardness. Fair enough. I love Armie Hammer, but I'm still uneasy about the movie because of the age difference. I know how I would have felt about it when I was closer to the younger character's age, but things change over time. Also—maybe it's just me?—I've hit a couple of places where I feel as if some scenes might have been cut but the director/editor knew the story so well he didn't realize the continuity was a little rough? I'm withholding judgment until I finish.

The kids will be going back to school in a week and a half, and then it's back to the empty nest. :( The Boy is off at Yosemite with his uncle, and we're feeling pretty bad for him right now. He spent the summer moving furniture (lots of hard work), and had planned all of these great hikes because he was in fantastic walking shape and incredibly strong! But his hiking shoes scraped the back of his heels raw on the first day, and he can't keep the pain or the bleeding at bay. :( :(

And yes, he remembers the summer that happened to me, when we were going to Lassen and I went on a hike with my office mates two days before and my cast-off tennis shoes destroyed my heels halfway through. So disappointing. :(

In my case it was bad luck, but in his... he's still at an age where he could be growing, so all those times this summer we asked if he'd gotten any taller ("Eh, maybe") and whether his shoes still fit, well, it looks as if that might have been worth more serious consideration on his part now, doesn't it?

And now, just for meaningless entertainment: All 50 States Summed Up In A Single Photograph! The one-slide-at-a-time (and follow-on caption) is kind of annoying, but there are some gems in there. Alaska! Kansas :O :O Ohio! Kentucky (WTF?) Rhode Island :D

Elsewhere on that same website... OMG, this might as well be me! Except that it's after I've put on the sunblock! Gah, stop mocking my life already. /o\

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
06 September 2018 @ 03:58 pm
So, I mentioned our cat's sudden increase in weird sleeping locations in this post, but there was more still to come. :O

For years, she has spent time on the cat pads on each of the two sofas, with occasional lap sitting for about 5-10 minutes. I was home for 6 weeks this spring, recuperating from my second surgery, and she expanded into sitting on my chest or lap when I would lie down under a fleece blanket. I think the "lying down" part was key, because this cat has trust issues. She was 4 when we got her, and she'll be 9 soon, but she's clearly afraid of falling asleep on anyone. Because then we might eat her? I don't know...

Anyway, my feet were usually on her cat pad while I was lying down, and gradually, she quit getting on it altogether. She stopped on the little footstool next to the sofa (bought for a previous cat who grew too old to get on the sofa by herself). Soon, she spent all her time there, including falling asleep and oozing over the edge in uncomfortable-looking ways. The blurry one? Out cold and snoring:
If we put her on her cat pad, she got down immediately—as if it had become toxic. Then came the bookshelf, and after that, we caught her on the kitchen counter a few times (forbidden!), probably aiming for the bow window in front of the sink. So we moved the kitchen chairs away from where she could use them to get on the counter, and soon... she started spending all her time on the chairs. :O Sleeping the whole day away, forgetting about laps and getting pets. We took her to the vet in case she wasn't feeling well, but nothing. HalfshellHusband and I went on vacation, and when we came back she was still on that chair—though The Boy had shown her his new bed, and so she spent time up there while he was napping. We gave her about another week of that, but a month was enough! We tipped all the chairs so she couldn't get on them.

Then she started disappearing. :O

We searched the house up and down, including closets and under the beds, and could not figure out where she was hiding. The Boy's room is always a favorite spot, but I could never find her. She would reappear for food and water and the litter box, and I would keep her from going upstairs again, but it was a mystery.

The Boy finally figured it out. He noticed that one of the upstairs linen cupboard doors was slightly ajar, and opened it to find...
HellurrrrCollapse )
When I got up later that day (after he'd gone to work), she was missing again. I found a random book set in the middle of the hallway for no particular reason, but no cat. Then HSH told me her secret. I went back upstairs and opened the cupboard, and there she was again. I got her out and put the heavy book set back up against the door, but a few hours later when I want back up, the book set was standing up—within about 3 inches of the door—and it didn't seem as if she could possibly have gotten past it, but she was back inside there again.

Gah, she is super sneaky when it comes to cupboards! She opens the door, gets inside, and the pulls the door closed after herself until it's almost entirely shut. When we first brought her home, we thought we'd lost her because she disappeared overnight. She was actually hiding in one of the laundry room cupboards, which appeared to be closed. Being a black cat, she's invisible in really dark places.

So, why must she be so smart about things like that while never having learned who "kitty" refers to, or what patting your lap for "Come here!" means? \o?

Now she's back on the sofa, getting snuggles and pets, and is as happy as ever. WTF was that psychotic detour all about?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
03 September 2018 @ 12:04 am
Why? WHY?

You were my favorite store, with everything from basic clothes to towels to kitchen appliances to electronics, toys, groceries, and toiletries. I could get in and out in under 10 minutes for quick errand.

Your clothes were laid out by type and size, your household products and toiletries were in the same part of the store, your groceries a contiguous section along the far wall. You were laid out perfectly for people like me who hate to shop.

But now... the clothes are in multiple high-density boutiques that form a maze in the middle of the store, jammed in and out in ways that make no sense at all. Household products are in a completely different part of the store from toiletries and OTC stuff. The center of the store is impassible, your cosmetics take up twice the square footage of before-- an 'opportunity walk' strewn along the route to the food section, mirrored by glitzy displays of purses and scarves and jewelry that no one ever buys. Food is much the same as before, but for the small walled-off cave where refrigerated items hide in narrow, dimly-lit displays so uninviting and under-stocked that customers will soon decide to avoid that corner altogether.

The entire store is a convoluted time-wasting space of fewer things presented more stylishly, the opposite of everything I ever loved about Target for so many, many years.

I wish I could hope that this was a passing fad at my local store, but we stopped in at the Eugene Target while visiting family in Oregon, and it was exactly the same horrible setup.

Now that Walmart has left our area and Fred Meyer still hasn't made its way this far south, I fear I will be turning more and more to online shopping.

Au revoir, Target. We had a good thing for many, many years, but it looks like you're chasing a new demographic now. :(

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
31 August 2018 @ 11:36 pm
Did I mention that I used the surgery I had months ago as an opportunity to try to lose some weight? Kicking sugar is really hard, especially the first day, so I took advantage of the timing. On the day of surgery, I was either fasting or unconscious most of the time, which made it easier to avoid sugar that day. After three days without sugar, the cravings are almost gone.

Because I knew I wouldn't be able to bicycle for at least 6 weeks, I was also careful to eat less over that recuperation time, when all I could do was walk. I lost about 12-13 pounds while recovering, and also discovered that when I don't exercise to quite such an insane degree, I'm not as hungry. This was quite a revelation, since I've been locked in a vicious circle for years, always exercising fiercely to try to lose weight while also being ravenous. It gets very self-defeating.

So, when I started biking again, I decided to lower my mileage a little. Most rides are 16-17 miles now, with one or two longer rides a week of 19-21 miles. I haven't biked so little since before baby #1! But it seems to be helping. I don't get to the end of the day and feel like I have to eat everything on the planet as often now. I've probably lost about 17-18 pounds? I'm definitely out of the range of constant self-loathing, which is good.

BUT last week, now that there's less 'fluff' obscuring things... I was getting dressed one morning, and noticed a lump near the bottom of my sternum. Not bone or cartilage, just a soft lump. Which has been there how long? :O

I saw the doctor about it Wednesday. It's probably nothing, and the radiologist noted it on the CT-SCAN results from the lump near my armpit back in January. Mostly likely a cyst, and I'll get an ultrasound to confirm.

But is this how it's going to be? Have I reached the age where my body has started spawning random lumps here and there? I'd always been lucky enough to escape the problems my dad's side of the family has with auto-immune disorders, but maybe my luck has ended.

Maybe I've entered the stage where my body is bored, and has nothing better to do than try to grow things in places it shouldn't? \o?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
25 August 2018 @ 12:48 am
Our vacation (just a week ago) seems so far away now. It's amazing what a week back at work will do to you. :O

It's starting to sink in that our time with The Boy is running out. I'll have to drive him back to L.A. around Sept. 20, which is less than a month away. He's been busy working all summer, and has vacation plans with his uncle coming up-- leaving no time for US to vacation with him. Our daughter will be up here those last two weeks before school starts, and then it'll be back to the empty nest once again. I am so not ready...

we've watched a couple of older movies with The Boy since returning from Oregon. He's usually grudging about it, until the movie grabs him. The Usual Suspects holds up well (damn, but Kevin Spacey was good in that movie. Too bad he torpedoed his career). We also watched Jacob's Ladder, which was really gripping. I saw it shortly after it first came out, and I love a good story that, with a twist at the end, causes you to mentally rewind back through what came before and consider it in a new light. I think that movie is sadly underrated.

Quadrophenia, OTOH, was disappointing, and I still haven't finished it. Less of The Who's music than I was hoping for, too rooted in its era, and also... no subtitles available on the DVD. I desperately need them for working-class British accents, and without them, the movie's dialogue is mostly unintelligible. :O

Post-vacation, I never get as much done around the house as I want. I paid bills, amended another year's tax return (2 down, 2+ to go), put some things away, and bought birthday presents for The Boy. But the list of still-to-do? Always enormous. :(

At least I CAN (theoretically) do the necessary things. Eventually. But courtesy of The Boy, I offer a series of glorious sketches of a crocodile attempting to do things and failing miserable. Absurd humor is such fun!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
19 August 2018 @ 01:15 am
After a nice week-and-a-half in Oregon visiting family, we're back home again in the Sacramento heat. Where our A/C is still out, and the repairman couldn't meet with us yesterday or today, so these near-100-degree temps are making us desperate. :O

While up north, I went to Tryon Creek a couple of times and visited Portland's Saturday Market (where I bought another pair of earrings from the Dreamspirit vendor, whose work I really like). We ate salmon and blackberry cobbler (SO good), and got thorough exposure to Calamityware dishes (featuring doom ranging from volcanoes and giant squid to UFOs and zombie poodles). I hiked most of the Silver Falls State Park waterfall loop, visited with my mom some more, and succumbed to the lure of Monster Cookies once more (the peanut-butter-chocolate-chip and oatmeal-chocolate-chip are my favorites). Then it was back down the highway through the smoke to Sacramento, where our lonely son awaited us. We thought he'd be working most of the time we were gone, but there were a lot of unexpected days off, and... he needs company. :O

I went bicycling Thursday after 10 days off, which was enough rest-time that all of the saddle-sore areas are hurting again. Also, I got my 4th yellow-jacket sting of the season. /o\ WHY?

It was a good trip overall, despite my mother's devil-dog, who is much, much worse than he was in January. In addition to charging, crowding, excessive barking, and following you and nipping at your butt, he now also lunges at the door and scratches at it. My mother wants to be his 'friend' instead of his master, so he has no manners at all. Ugh. She would never have made that mistake as a parent, but this is not her first neurotic, obnoxious dog. After the last one died, everyone hoped she wouldn't get another one, yet here we are...

One more day left, and then I have to go back to work again. I'm not ready, but it'll probably distract me from the inevitable post-vacation eater's remorse. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
08 August 2018 @ 11:45 pm
definitely on vacation.

We're up in Oregon, at my Mom's house right now and about to drive up to Portland tomorrow. AFAIK.

The trip up on Saturday... uggggghhh. The fire sitatuion is just a disaster. We drove through varying degrees of smoke for six hours of the 8-hour trip, and that included a fire in Central Oregon near Grants Pass (Redding was the worst-- fires still aren't under control there). Smoke in Oregon has shifted toward Eugene the last several days, though it's pretty high up. In Sacramento, the high smoke was keeping temperatures down a little, but here it seems to be holding the heat in.

Since we arrived, we've done a lot of visiting and straightened out my mother's need to be taking antidepressants again. I also picked a bunch of blackberries, and had homemade blackberry pie for the first time in about 14 years. \o/ How I have missed it! We also drove the McKenzie River Highway (and old highway) from Eugene to Sisters yesterday, stopping at Proxy Falls and at the Lava Obervatory. Today, we drove to the coast, went to the beach for a bit, and drove back. We took two different routes, so we saw a lot of scenery.

In Portland, we'll be visiting my sisters, and I hope to walk at Tryon Creek at least once. It's been several years. Last time, I was still running, but plantar fasciitis has kept me sidelined for two years now, so walking is as good as it gets. :(

I would also like to go to the Saturday Market and Powell's, but mainly, I'm hoping the rest of the week goes well.

Here's a look at the kind of food I hope not to be eating while up there: The Hipster Bar Menu. (Let's not pretend that Brooklyn is the only place you'd run into THAT sort of cuisine)

Meanwhile, our son is home working and watching the house. Which thanked him yesterday by breaking the A/C when we're not due back for a week. \o?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 August 2018 @ 12:48 pm
Well, we've finished Altered Carbon (really terrific series) and we did a rewatch of Luther with our son. He enjoyed Luther a lot, and especially Alice. As one does... ;)

We also watched The Defenders, and hadn't really intended to. But in starting S2 of Luke Cage, it was clear we'd missed some important events. Since we're not really superhero fans, none of us were pleased that plot happened in between the seasons! Especially one that involved so many swords, because really—in modern NYC? Whatevs, man. We got a kick out of Jessica Jones, and the Daredevil character was really soulful. Iron Fist, though... is a giant emo-baby. Urk.

While our daughter was home for a week, we got both kids hooked on S1 of The Blacklist. Boy, Red's rambles are such a delight. Plus, I think our daughter became an instant Liz/Tom 'shipper, which isn't surprising. And? Yes, Ressler definitely has light red hair in that first season. And probably the second, because it was in S3 that all the color seemed ot have washed out of it and I wondered what the hell had happened.

Books: I read Maggie Stiefvater's YA werewolf trilogy, even though I am not a fan of werewolves. The first book took awhile to hook me, but once it did, I raced through the rest. I did want to kill Grace's parents, though. Ugh. I also read A Reason To Believe, which I'd hoped would be more of a mystery with a side of M/M romance, and instead it was the opposite. I was nervous about the supernatural part, which actually worked for me until the end. As for the two male characters, I have kind of an anti-kink regarding making one of the men really short. It feels like photo-shopping a man over a female character, and becomes a turnoff. Maybe it's just me?

I also read Hiddensee, which was interesting but rather sorrowful overall. I was wondering how exactly it would tie in with The Nutcracker, given that I only know that as a ballet and it's basically a fever-dream venue for Tchaikovsky's great music. It DID all come together, but that was in the last 1/20th of the book, so... quite a bit more abstract than Maguire's usual stories.

We're going up to Oregon next week, so I'll load up the Kindle with some new books while we take the Jack Reacher that HalfshellHusband is reading and the Temperance Brennan that I'm reading. We'll swap books at some point, but I read a lot faster than he does these days, and my mom's floating supply of stuff is variable. She trades books with friends or buys them at St. Vincent de Paul's (because libraries, what AM they? Geez, my dad was like that too). Sometimes there's tons of good stuff at her house, and others, it's thrillers (ugh) or books her friends liked that are basically romances (also ugh).

I might dive back into some of the Harry Bosch books I haven't read in a while, but I've got Mirror, Mirror and Never, Never checked out for the Kindle, and several more books in my wish-list. If HSH didn't hate Kindle so much, I would totally download Elgin Baylor's book (also in my wish list, with him and our son in mind). But NOOOOOooooo...

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
30 July 2018 @ 11:01 am
File this under "unbelievable," except it actually happened...

HalfshellHusband was hit by a horse while bicycling on Saturday.

Yes, really. A group of people were riding their horses on the bike-trail pavement (horses are only allowed on the dirt trails at that point). HSH went wayyyy to the side and biked past them, and one of the horses spooked and ran into him. Knocked him off his bike and into a faceplant on the dirt. :(

And then the group of riders immediately blamed him for it, claiming that horses have the right of way!

No, no they don't. Only across the bridges where there IS no dirt trail. But otherwise, NO.

HSH was infuriated, which is pretty rare for him. Luckily, he only got some bad road-rash on his face and shoulder, and a few scrapes elsewhere, but no broken bones. Do I have to tell you what a miracle that is?

Just... HOW? \o?