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10 November 2016 @ 12:42 pm
LJ Idol Season Ten: Introduction ("A Day In The Life")  
A Day In The Life
lj idol season 10 | week 0 | code
Introduction

10101010101

#include "stdio.h"

void halfshell_parallel_universe(char *your_name, boolean yay, int seasons_in_the_sun)
{
   int week;

   printf("Howdy, %s.\n", your_name);
   printf("Welcome to the universe of HalfshellVenus' day job.\n\n");

   if (yay)
   {
       printf("It's great to have you here!\n");
   }
   else  /* Not 'yay' */
   {
       printf("All right, sure-- the back door's right over there.\n");
   }
 
   if (seasons_in_the_sun == 0)
   {
       printf("Hello, new person! Looking forward to getting to know you.\n");
   }
   else  /* An Idol veteran */
   {
       printf("Oh, you couldn't help signing up either? Must be the water.\n");
   }
 
   if (idol_prompt_release_day)  /* Yikes. */
   {
       prompt = get_the_topic(&week, &wacky);

       if (wacky)
       {
           query_who_the_hell_comes_up_with_these_things();
           re_ponder_wisdom_of_signing_up_for_idol();

           /* Hunker down and get serious. */
           if ((week > 3) && (week < 10))
           {
               consider_crack();
               weigh_remaining_byes();
           }
           else if (week > 11)
               consider_meta();

           else  /* Most of the season */
               heaven_help_us();
       }
       else /* Reasonable topic */
       {
           realize_that_doesnt_help_much_either();
           rattle_brain_and_see_what_falls_out();
       }
    }

   /* 
    * Whoops, look at the time!
    * Better do some real work now.
    */

   while ((dead_muse) || (work_hours))
   {
       check_project_email_backlog();
       answer_feature_questions();
       triage_released_code_issues();
       code_new_features();

       take_lunchtime_bike_ride(&brainstorm);

       if (brainstorm)
       {
           germinate_idea();
           finish_ride_and_shower();
           if (idea_was_story)  /* Yay! */
           {
              write_down_idea_and_attempt_detail();
              realize_work_deadlines_loom_and_resume_coding();
           }
           else /* idea was new approach to work problem */
           {
              try_out_new_problem_approach();
           }
       }

       /* Back into work flow again */

       create_more_code();
       if (someone_broke_the_build_again)
       {
           delve_into_breakage();
           generate_PLEASE_FIX_THIS_email();
       }  
       wonder_why_we_cant_have_nice_things();
       attend_yet_another_meeting();

rework:
       test_new_code();
       poke_parts_that_are_not_correct ();
       read_hardware_specs_again(asic_feature_area);
       invoke_who_designed_this_asic_behavior_anyway_rant();
       recode_and_try_again();
       if ((code_not_working) && (not_dinnertime))
       {
           goto rework;
       }
       else break;  /* The work day is over! */
   }

   drive_home_while_thinking_about_idol();
   talk_to_family_and eat_dinner();
   eye_tv_or_shiny_new_book_longingly();
   logon_to_do_idol_stuff_anyway();

   if (writing_cycle)  /* Ow, my brain! */
   {

work_it:
       if (prompt_already_known)
       {
          if (idea_working)   /* The rarest and best of all possible worlds */
          {
              write_more_story();
              prod_stubborn_stallouts_with_fork();
              continue_until_bedtime();
              return;
          }
          else  /* No solid story hook yet */
          {
              try_writing_different_approaches();
              see_if_one_takes_off();
              iterate_until_bedtime();
          }
      }
      else
      {
          prompt = get_the_topic(&week, &wacky);     /* Duh. */
          goto work_it; 
      }
   }
   else /* Story is written! Read everyone else's stuff. */
   {
       read_read_read_read_read();
       post_comments();
       read_more();
       panic_over_remaining_stuff_to_do();
       realize_have_nodded_off_three_times_by_now_so_go_to_bed();
   }

   if (workday_tomorrow)
   {
       make_lunch_for_tomorrow();
       long_for_retirement();
   }
   else
   {
       celebrate_by_sleeping_in();
   }

   printf("And that's just the work-week version.\n");

   return;
}



 
 
 
adoptedwriteradoptedwriter on November 10th, 2016 09:15 pm (UTC)
Glad you're here!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 10th, 2016 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks-- you too!
dee_aar2dee_aar2 on November 10th, 2016 11:47 pm (UTC)
That's a unique intro ... hit two birds at one attempt .... great intro to idol and the idoler :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 10th, 2016 11:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

I thought I'd throw in a little meta, even if it's early. There's a lot here that many Idol veterans can relate to, so at least the new people won't be surprised if it happens to them too!
dee_aar2dee_aar2 on November 11th, 2016 01:35 am (UTC)
Absolutely and that's why it just clicks ..... !!!
Kellykajel on November 11th, 2016 12:51 am (UTC)
lol Loved this!

realize_that_doesnt_help_much_either(); Now that just made me laugh.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 11th, 2016 01:00 am (UTC)
Haha-- glad you enjoyed it!

Much as the utterly wacky prompts bug me, there are times when a perfectly good prompt just sits there like a rock and does nothing for me.

I fear those times. I fear them all!
unmowngrassunmowngrass on November 11th, 2016 01:26 am (UTC)
very interesting!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 11th, 2016 01:31 am (UTC)
I hope you were able to follow most of it! I left out some of the more typical code stuff because I figured it would just be too confusing.
Kronettekronette on November 11th, 2016 03:08 am (UTC)
gah! is that javascript? :) Looks a bit like it.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 11th, 2016 06:56 am (UTC)
It's really just basic C language, with most of the variable and procedure declarations removed (they would just be clutter for most readers).

The contents above, though? All too true. :O
Teo Sayseternal_ot on November 11th, 2016 08:29 am (UTC)
Ha! You nailed it :D
My Favourite :

'query_who_the_hell_comes_up_with_these_things();
re_ponder_wisdom_of_signing_up_for_idol();'

Good Job!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 11th, 2016 06:15 pm (UTC)
Hahaha-- I actually go through that process about 70% - 90% of Idol, depending on how weird the prompts are.

Glad you enjoyed it! :D
Athelas K. Weedmalinaldarose on November 11th, 2016 11:35 am (UTC)
Aaaaa -- college flashback -- aaaaa!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 11th, 2016 06:42 pm (UTC)
My college coding was Fortran, running on punch-card batch jobs. So, this is comparatively shiny. :)
Athelas K. Weedmalinaldarose on November 11th, 2016 10:45 pm (UTC)
I think one of my programming courses did a module on Fortran, but didn't go into any depth...and then I (quite sensibly) bailed. I missed punch cards by that much....
tonithegreat: cattonithegreat on November 11th, 2016 04:17 pm (UTC)
I like the iterate until bedtime line. Story of my life! Code poetry could be a really fun form to work in.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 13th, 2016 10:26 pm (UTC)
I so wish that part weren't true, but the reality is that Idol keeps me desperate and up late at night for most of the duration!

Thanks for reading. :D
rayasorayaso on November 11th, 2016 05:27 pm (UTC)
This was perfect! I'm so glad you decided to play again. I loved the idea of doing this as a computer program, and the individual phrases were very funny. Idol can take a lot of work and can become a time-sink, but it can also be very rewarding, especially to your readers.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:08 pm (UTC)
I'm glad this was such a surprise to you. I'm sneaky like that! You never know what's coming, well-- at least in Idol.
Hillaryxlovebecomesher on November 12th, 2016 03:59 am (UTC)
I like the direction you took this prompt!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! It kind of shows how Idol tends to bleed into my day job as well, because that always seems to happen. :O
kick_galvanic, zagzagael, skull_theatrebleodswean on November 12th, 2016 07:39 pm (UTC)
Heh! Excellent! So perfectly you, K. I hope we have a season of creativity and off-the-wall genius to look forward to under your byline!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:10 pm (UTC)
I hope so too-- and less of the dead muse rotting in the barn, though it seems I always hit that point. :O
baxaphobiabaxaphobia on November 13th, 2016 12:49 am (UTC)
ha! You should hear how this reads with my screen reader! Grin. Glad you're back in the game!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:11 pm (UTC)
I was kind of worried how that might translate for the visually impaired. Poetry too-- any kind of heavily-formatted entry. But at least poetry doesn't have braces and double-equal signs and other coding weirdnesses. :)
jake67jakejake67jake on November 13th, 2016 02:00 am (UTC)
It has been many, many years since I've written any code ... like sophomore year college COBOL class... and I absolutely love this.

Good luck to you.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:12 pm (UTC)
Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it-- and hope the COBOL was fun. I never took that one-- Fortran, Pascal, C and some assembly languages, but I was never in a Cobol field.
jake67jakejake67jake on November 15th, 2016 08:29 pm (UTC)
I think I remember being told that FORTRAN and COBOL were similar -- but don't hold me to that, because the ancient memory isn't what it used to be ;).

I *do* remember that COBOL was a beast! But since the code itself was so "readable," it was a breeze to edit other's programs. :)
lilmissmagic71lilmissmagic71 on November 13th, 2016 10:57 pm (UTC)
YAY! So glad to be reading you again! Coded perspective is the win. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad to see you're back for this round, too. :)
Didn't want to be: pic#126194911anyonesghost on November 14th, 2016 12:48 pm (UTC)
I can vote for you because you use the { properly.
But ... tabs or spaces?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 14th, 2016 06:14 pm (UTC)
o_O

Spaces only, or I would be thrown out on my butt.

I wouldn't be using the gotos here, but without those I don't think non-coding people would be able to follow this. The other formatting is challenging enough on its own!
Didn't want to be: pic#126194911anyonesghost on November 15th, 2016 12:21 am (UTC)
I wondered about that. But then, you didn't include stderr.h, so I figured you liked working without a net. :-)
Banana Galaxybanana_galaxy on November 15th, 2016 05:57 am (UTC)
This seems like a pretty standard program that'll be installed into anyone signing up for LJ Idol. XD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 15th, 2016 08:02 am (UTC)
:D There may be some writers who see the prompts, set down to write, and voila! It's done, it's fabulous, and there was no self-torture involved.

But I believe such writers to be mythical beasts. ;)
Murielle: Scrunchedmurielle on November 17th, 2016 06:19 am (UTC)
LOL! It took me a minute to get into it but...awesome! I'm so looking forward to more of your wonderfully innovative entries.

Way to start the season!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 17th, 2016 06:28 am (UTC)
Parts of this process are probably familiar to most of the LJ participants, though I wonder if I'm the only one having to prod things with a fork when they just sit there?

Or maybe I just enjoy that, and other people are better behaved?
Murielle: Scrunchedmurielle on November 17th, 2016 09:17 am (UTC)
I never thought of that! Oh! I've got one of those carving forks, with the long tongs. (Evil grin)
favoritebeanfavoritebean on November 17th, 2016 08:25 am (UTC)
What a unique and delightful introduction! Welcome back!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 17th, 2016 05:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! :)
magazhchimagazhchi on November 17th, 2016 06:49 pm (UTC)

Heh! I really enjoyed reading this. Great introduction.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 17th, 2016 07:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you! This one was fun to write. :)
swirlsofblueswirlsofblue on November 17th, 2016 06:56 pm (UTC)
LOVE THIS. THIS IS AWESOME, AWESOME CONCEPT AND AWESOME EXECUTION.

I love the way you use code to wonderfully depict the ways of Idol. And you've also reminded me of my old coding days. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 17th, 2016 07:13 pm (UTC)
Thank you-- so glad you liked it!

There is so much truth in here, though I hate to admit it. Some people might have an easier or more streamlined Idol process, but mine doesn't behave quite that well. :D
Tobiwolfden on November 17th, 2016 11:05 pm (UTC)
Nice.

I'm glad to see you back.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on November 17th, 2016 11:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you-- you too!