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17 April 2013 @ 11:19 pm
Original Fiction: "Running On The Edge Of The Divide"  
Title: Running On The Edge Of The Divide
Original Fiction
Author: HalfshellVenus
Rating: G
Summary: Reality is the path by which 'forever' becomes a temporary thing.
Author's Notes: For 5_prompts Table 31, this is "Go Our Separate Ways."

x-x-x-x-x

I remember how it was at the beginning, when we could laugh our way through awkward moments and just the scent of the shampoo clinging to your hair could take my breath away.

We were so innocent then, so quick to believe life's little imperfections would never touch us.

For a long time, it was all true. We spent months regretting every moment apart, and then years—solid years, the kind that seem destined to last—living in that apartment over 49th Street, finally together and seemingly suspended in a state of bliss. The outside world spun on through its routine while we stepped on and off the wheel each week, our true lives happening at the theater, at the café on Concord Avenue, and at home surrounded by the warmth of our well-worn sofa, our kitchen, our bed.

The little things—your college friends, my ever-larger collection of books—were never fully resolved, but they were still less than the sheer sum of us and the future we wanted. We didn't know then how much bigger our problems would become, or that everyone has a breaking point—even an enchanted couple like us.

When did I lose my hold on your heart? Was it that week in San Francisco where the two of us spent hours in silence, turned spectators of our own lives and purpose? Was it the long days at work that stretched through dinner and into the weekends, until we shared a key, a bed, a closet, and nothing more?

Was it the weekend you went to Seattle alone, and didn't answer your phone at one a.m.? (No, I never told you I'd called. I was so relieved when you came home and so ready to believe all my worries were for nothing).

Eight years into our happily-ever-after, you could barely look at me. Our habits wrote the final story: we always waited too long to say I love you, and too often rushed to voice the anger and unhappiness that could not later be unsaid.

I'd loved you so long by then, so well, that I could have told you everything you'd ever whispered in your sleep. But that wasn't love, you insisted—it was compulsion, it was record-keeping, it was a complete failure to understand the things that really mattered.

Then you walked out that door wearing the eyes of a stranger, already in recovery for something I'd only just realized was dead.


------ fin -----

 
 
 
cindytsuki_no_bara on April 18th, 2013 01:01 pm (UTC)
this is so sad! i really like the random details, tho - the mention of specific cities and streets, the one person's friends vs the other person's books.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2013 07:34 pm (UTC)
The prompt pretty much guarantees that there won't be a happy ending-- even when people part feeling resigned, there's still such a sense of loss.

I'm glad you noticed and liked the details! Those can be such anchor pieces in fiction, where even if 49th street doesn't mean anything to the reader, it's clear that it means something to the narrator. Somehow, that creates a fuller effect.
serendip50serendip50 on April 18th, 2013 05:28 pm (UTC)
I feel like this is a cathartic understanding of life in common and unchallenged. It's beautifully insightful and bravely written.

An engagingly sad read:).

I don't read original fiction on lj...but I decided to read this one just to have an idea of what ppl could or would write. I liked it.

Edited at 2013-04-18 05:31 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for giving this one a try!

I used to avoid original fiction on LJ too, until I took part in Real LJ Idol. I did it as a self-challenge to branch out into original fiction, and I got a good look at what other people can and do write, especially in short story form. It was a real eye-opener, even moreso when you're given a single prompt and you see what a huge group of people do with it-- different approaches (some of them incredibly creative and unexpected), different narrative styles, different structures. Totally changed my opinion on the whole thing!
serendip50serendip50 on April 18th, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
Oh that's fascinating...I never really knew or understood what lj idol was though I thought it was some kind of self-expressive thought process written down haphazardly...I don't know why...lol.

That's interesting. I might read some others at some point, after all the dirty porn you know....lol.

Thanks for the explanation it's appreciated:).
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphorshalfshellvenus on April 18th, 2013 10:21 pm (UTC)
though I thought it was some kind of self-expressive thought process written down haphazardly...I don't know why...lol.
Because the other people I knew it it were also involved in Bandom... I originally thought it was RPF based on American Idol contestants! :O

I don't do so well with people's longer original fiction arcs (like, snippets for a future book) because often there's not enough connective context. Some writers do still manage to make each ficlet feel "complete" by itself. But the isolated short stories? Those have really been great, overall. :)
serendip50serendip50 on April 18th, 2013 11:07 pm (UTC)
So writers also post snippets of future fiction, that's a bit like cheating or at the very least taking advantage...lol. It's a platform I guess:).

I would also only read the shorter more rounded pieces. Although I love longer fictions in lj. I find them more intensely developed and all consuming which is what I want especially if I am invested in the outcome of the story. However, the oneshots can be equally as fulfilling to read and there are some gems out there:).