?

Log in

 
 
25 November 2010 @ 12:59 pm
SPN Gen Fiction: "The Turkey Apocalypse" (Dean, Sam, Castiel, PG)  
Title: The Turkey Apocalypse
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Dean, Sam, Castiel (Gen, All-Dialogue, Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary: Any holiday can become excruciating as long as you know the right people…
Author's Notes: A late birthday present for lampshade_days, whom I hope will forgive the seasonal setting given that Canadians have a version of this holiday too.

x-x-x-x-x

"Hello, Dean."

"Castiel. Have you come to join us for dinner?"

"This body does not require sustenance."

"Huh. That's not what you said last year."

"I'm afraid I… Dean. Why do all these people eat the same meal?"

"It's Thanksgiving. We have a holiday tradition."

"So the people leave their homes to go in search of identical foods. I believe I have heard of this. It is called a zombie invasion."

"No. It's just—most people have Thanksgiving at home with their families. But some people like Sammy and me don't have homes, or maybe they're traveling like we are, so they—"

"Join the zombie hordes."

"No."

"What purpose does the red part serve? Does it symbolize blood?"

"It's cranberry sauce."

"Sauces are liquids, Dean. This is a solid."

"Just be glad it isn't a log. Hi, guys."

"Hello, Sam. I see you have also chosen to celebrate the zombie tradition."

"What zombies?"

"Enough with the zombies already, Cas! Are you eating with us or not?"

"I have not decided yet."

"Yeah? Well until then, decide somewhere else."

"As you wish…"

"Jeez, Dean, that was rude."

"Fine. Next time, you be the one to educate the angel about Thanksgiving."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"I lost my appetite for pie, Sam."

"Oh. I stand corrected."

"Exactly. Let's sit over there."

"So what was that thing about zombies?"

"I swear to God, Sammy, the next person who talks about zombies is going to be wearing this pie."

"I see."

"Yeah."

"Well. Happy Thanksgiving then, Dean."

"Sure thing, Sammy. You too."


-------- fin --------

 
 
copper_on_marscopper_on_mars on November 25th, 2010 09:25 pm (UTC)
The zombie invasion bit killed me dead.

...And now I'm hungry. XD
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 25th, 2010 09:59 pm (UTC)
Haha! It's just SO wrong that you have to wonder if Castiel does that on purpose. ;)
nrrrdy_grrrl on November 25th, 2010 09:36 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on November 25th, 2010 10:00 pm (UTC)
Hee! That's exactly how I feel about the kitty in that icon, too. :D

Happy Thanksgiving!
borgmama1of5borgmama1of5 on November 25th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 01:51 am (UTC)
You too! :D
heliokleia: HOTTIE IC - HAPPY MEALheliokleia on November 25th, 2010 10:24 pm (UTC)
"I swear to God, Sammy, the next person who talks about zombies is going to be wearing this pie."
- OOPS! Maybe I'll better hide in plain sight then...^^
*giggles*

HAHAHAHAHA... Oh that was wonderful hilarious, my dear Mme Venus, I really can imagine how Cas iz giving El Deano his own famous head tilt, hahaha...
*gigglesnorts*

Thank you very much for sharing TFW's umm... special Turkey Day and... Pssttt...
*lowers voice*

HAPPY CELEBRATING the zombie tradition, my dear friend!!^^
*huggles*
*hides because of flying!pie*
♥ ♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 01:53 am (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it!

Puts a whole new twist on the holiday, doesn't it? :D
Kimberley: [D/C] On the Head of a Pinlampshade_days on November 25th, 2010 10:54 pm (UTC)
Hee. I love it! You're the best. :)

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving!

Edited at 2010-11-25 10:54 pm (UTC)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 01:55 am (UTC)
You're so welcome! Took me awhile, but I hope it was worth the wait. :)
ash48: Jared :Dash48 on November 25th, 2010 11:00 pm (UTC)
Wonderful. Cas is an absolute scream!

Great piece. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 01:57 am (UTC)
Thank you!

And who needs smiting when you can just wear people down, again and again? :0
colleenish: big skycolleenish on November 25th, 2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
It is called a zombie invasion.

OMG, I cannot breathe for laughing.

Yes, Castiel, yes it is a zombie invasion. At least at my house. Especially after the flesh is consumed.

Oh God, brilliant!

Happy Thanksgiving!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 02:00 am (UTC)
"I do not mock your holiday. In fact, I do not fully understand it. Please explain further."

"NOOOoooooooooooo!"

Happy Thanksgiving to you too! :D
ErinRua: Dancinerinrua on November 26th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC)
Hee! I love it! *throws sparkly things and glees*

This is priceless and perfect and I love it. :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 02:01 am (UTC)
Haha! Thank you so much! Happy Thanksgiving!
scarlett_oscarlett_o on November 26th, 2010 01:24 am (UTC)
Zombies are always awesome. It's a rule. *g*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 02:03 am (UTC)
Totally! So long as you're not on the menu... ;)
brigid_tanner: Castiel-infuriating bastardbrigid_tanner on November 26th, 2010 02:02 am (UTC)
LOL!! Zombie invasion :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 02:05 am (UTC)
Braaaaains! It's what's for dinner!
mdlawmdlaw on November 26th, 2010 03:53 am (UTC)
You know, Cas is not wrong. m :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 04:16 am (UTC)
Haha! Which is the part that just makes it funnier, actually.

There's always at least a little bit of truth in everything he says. And if you stand far enough back from the hordes of turkey-slaughtering celebrants, well... it starts to look more than a little weird, doesn't it? :0
cindy: spn - dean facepalm (by mixedbatch)tsuki_no_bara on November 26th, 2010 05:22 am (UTC)
i love your castiel. "i believe i have heard of this. it is called a zombie invasion." HEEE. poor dean, trying to explain thanksgiving to the angel.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 06:47 am (UTC)
Hahaha! There is no concept that cannot be made more wrong just by passing it through Castiel's unique filter.

Who knew Thanksgiving could sound so bad? :0
jesseofthenorthjesseofthenorth on November 26th, 2010 05:55 am (UTC)
"Any holiday can become excruciating as long as you know the right people…"
Ahhahaha
The voices were perfect in this!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 26th, 2010 07:25 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you think so! They were a lot of fun to write.

Thanks for reading and commenting! :)
labseraphlabseraph on November 26th, 2010 07:53 am (UTC)
Thanksgiving = zombie invasion?

Cannot. Compute.

Oh, Cas ...

♥♥♥
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 27th, 2010 06:56 pm (UTC)
There's nothing that can't be grossly misinterpreted if you really put you mind to it. ;)
devon99 on November 27th, 2010 04:11 pm (UTC)
*smiles*

Oh Cas, we all know you do it on purpose.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on November 27th, 2010 07:04 pm (UTC)
He just might! :)
febxsan on December 11th, 2013 12:45 pm (UTC)
really wanna see Cas's brain XD. Thanks for this :)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 11th, 2013 05:54 pm (UTC)
I love all the loose connections of ideas rattling around inside his idea of humanity, and how weirdly he matches them up to the wrong things. :D