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08 December 2009 @ 12:15 am
SPN/House Xover fiction: "In Ur Universe, Drivin' U Nuts" (Sam, House, PG)  
Title: In Ur Universe, Drivin' U Nuts
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Gregory House, Sam Winchester(Gen Supernatural/House Xover, Crack Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary: House finds someone new to pester…
Author's Notes: Another 10-character/15-word fic meme offering. It was supposed to be the "romance" prompt, but that meme has clearly never met Greg House, so this is Gen ("Partners") instead.

x-x-x-x-x

"Who did you say you were you again?" House asked the tall young man at the door. He didn't actually care, but he'd found people got annoyed at having to repeat themselves. He figured he was good to ask that question again in about ten minutes.

"Sam Winchester," the guy answered.

"From the phone. You're the ghostbuster."

"No," Sam sighed impatiently, then reconsidered. "Kind of," he amended. "You told the police your neighbor was killed by a ghost."

"Or boredom. That'll definitely do it."

Sam gritted his teeth, thinking Dean would've punched this guy by now. "Did you or did you not—"

House lurched across the room, waving at Sam to follow him. "Playing the piano usually brings him out of the woodwork," he said, starting something with a freeform, jazzy sound. He shifted into a new tempo: "But he hates ragtime like you wouldn't believe," he yelled over the music.

There was a loud banging from the floor.

"You see?" House shouted.

"That's just your downstairs neighbor, complaining about the noise!" Sam protested.

"Well how about this?" House raised his head toward the ceiling and began howling an accompaniment.

A painting suddenly flew across the room, where House ducked it expertly and kept on playing. "Well?"

Sam grinned in spite of himself, knowing he would probably regret it later. "Yeah," he nodded. "I think I can work with that..."


-------- fin --------


ETA: Geez, there's a sequel now where Dean gets to meet House. I can't believe you all talked me into that. :)

 
 
The Huntresshuntress69 on December 14th, 2009 06:16 pm (UTC)
A painting suddenly flew across the room, where House ducked it expertly and kept on playing. "Well?"

That is so House and I thank you for the giggle.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on December 14th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
It is! He just isn't fazed by the bizarre the way most people would be. Really, it's almost unfair.

Though that's part of what makes him obnoxiously "cool" too. ;)

Glad you enjoyed this. :D
The Huntresshuntress69 on December 16th, 2009 09:00 pm (UTC)
I have to recomment, because I just reread the fic and saw some of the other comments...you have got to write Dean and House going at it verbally, or House and Castiel.
gactsevilgactsevil on December 17th, 2009 03:40 am (UTC)
Dean or Castiel and House would be hilarious, or even all three.
Great fic by the way!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 07:35 am (UTC)
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 10th, 2010 04:04 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 07:54 pm (UTC)
Re: ha!!!!
Hee! Thank you!
angelsallfireangelsallfire on December 16th, 2009 07:04 pm (UTC)
*cracks up*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 07:55 pm (UTC)
Poor Sam-- how can he even know that it's ALWAYS like that with House? :0
rodlox: Parkerrodlox on December 16th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
*chuckles* fantastic,

(good lord, imagine the snark battles if House and Dean were in the same room - though not sure how Castiel would fare against House)
Ruth: Castieljust_ruth on December 16th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)

Castiel would just look at him with sad bewilderment "why do you only find pleasure in giving yourself pain?"
rodlox: Parkerrodlox on December 16th, 2009 08:58 pm (UTC)
And House would snort and say, "Life is pain, your annoyingness; anyone who says differently is either lying or selling something."
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 09:15 pm (UTC)
:D I didn't get a choice on the pairing, because of the meme (which originally had Sam/House Romance as the prompt, but that was not going to work!)

I wonder if Castiel wouldn't actually be the one to finally thwart House, because he's incredibly literally-minded and doesn't easily take offense, and so he could pester House with clueless requests for clarification of his crabbiness/snark almost unto eternity.

Like water eroding a rock, slowly, slowly, slowly. An increasingly angry rock, that is. ;)
rodlox: Parkerrodlox on December 16th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
I'm not objecting to how you wrote it - its great!

I think House would push the two buttons nobody wants to push around Castiel:
* "there is no God"
* "I am God"
...both said by House.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! Boy, I can SO see that happening. :0
-A: Sam in scrubsautumn_lilacs on December 16th, 2009 08:28 pm (UTC)
Ha, awesome! I haven't seen an episode of House in forever, and now I kinda miss him :-)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
He is aggravating and frustrating and cruel, but ultimately he's usually also funny.

You're always torn between, "Noooo, don't say it!" and *snerk* "Hahahahaha!" :D
Ruth: LongWayHomejust_ruth on December 16th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
This is great. Very House - I bet Dean would punch him, or rather, he would start to show signs of it and Sam would stomp on his foot because, "geez, Dean - guy with a cane?"
rodlox: going to hugrodlox on December 16th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
...and then Sam would get slapped with the cane in his gut (or the cane on his foot) and House would say "riight, I'm the helpless one here."
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC)
or rather, he would start to show signs of it and Sam would stomp on his foot because, "geez, Dean - guy with a cane?"

Followed five minutes later with, "All right, take him down."

Even Sam can't be patient forever. ;)
kewpie doll mass murderer level of cuteness: BBT - Emoticon!!feathertofly on December 16th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)
BAHAHAHA yeah, that's pretty awesome. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 16th, 2009 09:20 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thank you!
Katharsis J: Dean and Cas are defeatedkaddywhak on December 16th, 2009 08:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, House, he totally WOULD! Lol, this was wonderful. Totally think you should write more. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it! I really feel for Sam-- even on a legitimate case, no-one should have to put up with House!
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 02:13 am (UTC)
Snark meets snark-- which will win? Though it seems like House always comes out on top of a snark battle. :D
hermione_vader: approvedhermione_vader on December 16th, 2009 09:04 pm (UTC)
This is so darn cute! I love when House plays his musical instruments!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
Thank you! He's usually playing for his own pleasure, but I can so easily see him using music to antagonize if the opportunity came up. Because he just can't help himself... ;)
karahalliwell: Spn ; Dean-Condomkarahalliwell on December 16th, 2009 09:46 pm (UTC)
AWESOME CROSSOVER!

Love it<3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! :D
shaitanah: john simmshaitanah on December 16th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
LMAO))) This is every other character's nightmare: meeting House))))) Awesome crack! <3
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
As it should be! At best, he'll drive you crazy. At worst, he'll either half-kill you before he saves you, or occasionally just kill you completely. :0
Jean: SPN: Sam: Perverts!contrary_lady on December 16th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
LMAO!! I can picture Sam giving House his bitch face!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 02:15 am (UTC)
I would SO love to see that. And if anyone ever earned it, that would be House. :D
harriganharrigan on December 17th, 2009 02:53 am (UTC)
There's never enough House-SPN crossovers! This was much enjoyed!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it-- and both shows as well, separately and together. :)
layne: sam thinkinglayne67 on December 17th, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
LOL but where was Dean?

Still love that as I've been hankering for some House/SPN crossovers. More please? With Sam and Dean, and House and Wilson and Chase and all the rest?

:D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 07:38 am (UTC)
LOL but where was Dean?

Dean was off in a different part of the same meme, meeting up with Cameron (from Terminator:SCC), and then Iron Man (which I swear I will post up separately as soon as I can think of a title for the darn thing).

This was that 10-character/15-word meme where everything winds up being a crossover and sometimes nearly impossible ("Romance" was the original prompt for House and Sam!), and nowhere near 15 words. :0

You know, the biggest surprise of having accidentally written this (the meme made me do it!) is finding out how many people want those universes crossed over more extensively! I never would have guessed. :D
phorenice: big fanphorenice on December 17th, 2009 10:07 am (UTC)
*giggling like mad*
I can sosee that happening.

Hee, Sam/House romance? Only if House was possessed or cursed or both - Sam probably too.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on December 17th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
:D I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Oh, the Sam/House romance idea... *brainlock*

Really, the possessed/cursed idea works very well there, because otherwise House is the antithesis of romance, and Sam... is not remotely stupid. ;)
Olympiaolympia_m on January 20th, 2010 11:11 pm (UTC)
lol

Oh, this is utterly brilliant!!! There are not enough SPN/House crossovers and IT'S SUCH A SHAME!!!!!!

will you write where Dean was during this? :) please?
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Random Fandomhalfshellvenus on January 20th, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
It was fun to write, once I got over the meme's original directive that the prompt for this was supposed to be "Romance." o_O

People keep asking for the Dean detour, though really it was that the meme called for House and Sam.

Dean wound up having a couple of Gen adventures of his own that Sam missed out on, one with Cameron from Terminator:SCC and one with Iron Man. :0
Olympiaolympia_m on January 21st, 2010 08:18 am (UTC)
OH, HOW WONDERFUL!!!!!!

I'm going to check them now!!!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on February 10th, 2010 04:06 am (UTC)
I wound up having Dean join the "party" instead, though I doubt he'd think of it that way! Sequel here!
Salfeanix on January 23rd, 2010 01:51 am (UTC)
Oh, I SO see an xover here...Sam/House...Hrm.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on January 23rd, 2010 02:44 am (UTC)
Sorry! It would have been hot, I'll admit, and Sam has the brains to take House on. But I just couldn't make it reasonably go there.

The comedy aspect, though, was gold. :0
Salfeanix on January 23rd, 2010 02:47 am (UTC)
Absolute gold.
chlarkfan333: HouseTwirlelectricmonk333 on February 6th, 2010 02:44 am (UTC)
This one really cracks me up. I am always impressed at how much you get across in such a small number of words irrespective of the tone of the fic. Fantastic job!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on February 10th, 2010 04:07 am (UTC)
What a wonderful thing to say! This was one of those stories I had never planned to write, but thanks to that meme it happened anyway. And the result was sure fun!

Glad you enjoyed it. :)