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29 April 2009 @ 09:29 am
Supernatural Gen Drabble: "To All Excess" (Sam, Dean, PG)  
Title: To All Excess
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (Gen, Drabble, All-Dialogue, Humor)
Rating: PG
Summary: You just know that early S3 lifestyle had to take its toll…
Author's Notes: Drabble Meme offering for tsuki_no_bara, whose prompt was "spare tire." But was she expecting this?
Also for supernatural100, this is "Judgment."

x-x-x-x-x

"What's that above your belt, Dean?"

"What, my belly-button?"

"No, the rest of it."

"Huh?"

*thwack*

"Ow! What the hell, Sam!"

"That acreage you're sprouting."

"It's not that bad."

"Seriously? Have you looked? This is a wakeup call, Dean."

"For what, your anorexic obsession?"

"You're eating cheeseburgers around the clock, and the Ho-Hos and chips are adding up too."

"I only have a year left, Sammy, I want to enjoy it."

"As a fat man."

"Where's your sympathy?"

"Must've dried up after the first thirty times you used that excuse."

"Harsh."

"More salad, less stomach."

"All right, already!"

"Thank God…"


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
shaitanahshaitanah on April 29th, 2009 05:04 pm (UTC)
LOL, poor Dean! XDDD Can't enjoy life to maximum))))
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
"Maximum" is right! *splorch* :0
Not Quite by Firelight: LMAOtahirire on April 29th, 2009 05:05 pm (UTC)
LOLOL. Total prompt PWNAGE. *LOVES*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:36 pm (UTC)
Hee-hee! I'm sure she was probably thinking of something roadside with the Impala in trouble. Bwee!
woman_of_woman_of_ on April 29th, 2009 05:16 pm (UTC)
Oh Dean does love his food, as long as it is not gormate, but I guess he is still gormand
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:36 pm (UTC)
:D And he just doesn't know when to STOP loving it, either. Loved that S4 moment in the Impala with the pile of Halloween candy that so rapidly disappeared. :0
phorenice: seriously?phorenice on April 29th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
Hee, maybe he should try that "Master Cleanse" diet...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
Haha! Most dreadful invention ever-- just the ingredient list over the phone was appalling. :0

Maybe it "cleanses" you because after drinking your water/lemon-juice/cayenne-pepper combo you feel so ooky that you don't WANT to eat anything for awhile.
phorenice: Dean-gleephorenice on April 29th, 2009 08:04 pm (UTC)
You forgot the maple sirup! Yummy.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC)
You're right! An even more disgusting detail! :D
twasadark: SPN - Boys with Gunstwasadark on April 29th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
Haha!! Very cute!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:38 pm (UTC)
:D Thank you! :D
ficwriter1966ficwriter1966 on April 29th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
Loved it! Thanks for the giggles. :)

"The Ho-Hos and chips are adding up too." If only that wasn't true...
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked it! It would be darn hard for Dean's "diet" not to add up to trouble... and a little 'vagueness' around the middle. :0
cindy: spn - dean wants pietsuki_no_bara on April 29th, 2009 05:45 pm (UTC)
heeee! it occurred to me you might take this tack.... which is totally fine, because man, the way dean eats? he should be glad he has such a high energy lifestyle. "more salad, less stomach." *snicker*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 05:52 pm (UTC)
because man, the way dean eats? he should be glad he has such a high energy lifestyle.
Or does he? I look at a lot of their life as sitting in that car, driving and driving. It's more of a trucker lifestyle than a taekwando lifestyle, and you've seen where THAT leads. :0

Hope this hit the spot. ;)
cindy: spn - dean wants pietsuki_no_bara on April 29th, 2009 06:58 pm (UTC)
well, true. but then there's all that running and chasing and fighting and killing things.... and then, ok, twelve or fourteen hours in a car, and then another eight hours sitting on your ass doing research....

it totally hit the spot, yes. :D
tyrical: RPS_chrisKane_smiletyrical on April 29th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
Too cute! Hey, I would eat too . . . oh wait I already do that!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
I try very hard not to eat the way Dean does! Not just the "what" but the "how much." :0
Thurisaz. Bow before me, for I am root.: spn Brothersadja999 on April 29th, 2009 06:34 pm (UTC)
XD I love that banter. I heart the boys.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 06:39 pm (UTC)
Me too! I've really missed this kind of lightheartedness in the show. The snark was one of the things that first hooked me!
merigirl: piemerigirl on April 29th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
*snurk* very cute... I miss all the snark and silliness of Show
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
I do too-- it feels like it's been ages since that was one of the principal ingredients of the show, and it's been too long! More awkwardness, less angst!
The Huntresshuntress69 on April 29th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
The giggle of the day and I so needed it and thank you. And Dean should be a bit...larger...the way he eats.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 29th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
Hee! You're welcome! Especially in the countdown to graduation. :D

I really would expect Dean to show some *koff* damage from that diet. Though I DO remember the cheekbones being more prominent in S1. ;)
Jean: SPN: Sam: So Very Prettycontrary_lady on April 29th, 2009 11:36 pm (UTC)
*giggles* That is definitely typical Sam & Dean type banter. :p
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2009 12:44 am (UTC)
Hee! Which is exactly why the other one has it coming the next time around. ;)
ErinRua: brotherserinrua on April 30th, 2009 12:19 am (UTC)
BUAHAHAHA! *SNORK*

This is too cute! In a gallows humor sort of way. Hee!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)
Dean is all about the gallows humor, and while it usually makes me cringe there are times it simply makes for better mocking!

If Sam truly was ever a chubby child, this turnaround has got to be golden. :0
brigid_tanner: boys-funny facesbrigid_tanner on April 30th, 2009 04:47 am (UTC)
LOL! poor Dean...Sam's so picky.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2009 12:54 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! Perfect icon, once again. I think it's this story in a nutshell, in fact. :0

Well, considering all the grief Dean gives Sam about practically everything, the sudden veering off toward Waddlechester deserves this kind of scrutiny. ;)
layne: dean wakes uplayne67 on April 30th, 2009 05:15 am (UTC)
Awww, chubby Dean is so cute!! Hee, that 2-week detox when he was Dean Smith, he must have worked off the spare tyre then, the one that he regained after he got out of hell :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2009 12:56 pm (UTC)
It's probably the first time he ever noticed that he wasn't... as young as he used to be, so to speak. Though as Dean Smith, he had no idea how truly awful his usual diet was. ;)

Desk job + softness = panic!
samalander_dawnsamalander_dawn on April 30th, 2009 05:30 pm (UTC)
*sporfle*

this is brilliant :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Laugh SPNhalfshellvenus on April 30th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
Hee! I'm so glad you liked it-- it's always good to share a little glee around. :D
misstyxx on May 1st, 2009 01:15 pm (UTC)
So very, very good - and so apt too!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 1st, 2009 04:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you! The all-dialogue ones are surprisingly fun to write, though sometimes you wind up with "That's all I've got?" on the word-count at the first draft, and other times "Crap! 122 words already?"

This one required some wood-shedding. Apparently, I had a lot to say about Dean's splorchage. ;)
Deadbeat Nymph: sam dean one for sammydeadbeat_nymph on May 14th, 2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
Awww! Poor Dean! And yet, tee-hee!

I must say, this is way cuter and less gross than my version of this issue. ;)

I think that you should post this to jubjubfest. :D
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on May 19th, 2009 07:14 pm (UTC)
Maybe the briefness helps, so we don't have to dwell on the details of the potential... splorch. :0

I forgot about jubjubfest! And S3 even made it somewhat canon. :0

Love the icon you chose for this-- it's perfect! \o/