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15 February 2009 @ 12:16 pm
Supernatural Gen Drabble: "Insubstantial" (Dean, PG)  
Title: Insubstantial
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Dean (Gen, Drabble)
Rating: PG
Summary (Season Four): Dean is still a specter in the life he once called his own.
Author's Notes: For the supernatural100 "Ghost" challenge.

x-x-x-x-x

Dean still checks mirrors and windows four months later, even six. It's still unreal.

Pain and sorrow bled him dry, followed him right down into Hell. The monster he became didn't deserve second chances, and the emptiness inside him knows it.

Everything's insubstantial (meaningless), giving no weight to Dean's faint presence here on earth. He drifts out of caring, of being, the larger battle too big to win and day-to-day living too distant to ground him.

If not for the look in Sam's eyes, he'd be certain. Caught in limbo, Dean's as dead as when the hellhounds took him down.


-------- fin --------

 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 15th, 2009 08:53 pm (UTC)
*sound of heart breaking into a thousand pieces*
We get moments of "rehymenated" goofiness, but most of what we're seeing in S4 is that Dean often isn't mentally or spiritually "there" anymore, and it's so sad to watch. Brought back, but not really having returned. :(

If only the writers of the show could say it this well.
*clings* *is overwhelmed by most perfect comment ever* ♥
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(Deleted comment)
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 15th, 2009 09:23 pm (UTC)
I so want things to get better for them, but I don't think that's what Kripke has in mind at all. :(
brigid_tanner: Dean-breakingbrigid_tanner on February 15th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC)
I'm just going to echo what other commenters have said. This fits season 4 Dean so well. He is a ghost much of the time.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
It's really telling that the first thing I thought of when I saw this prompt was Dean, rather than a literal ghost. *sigh*
cindy: spn - dean looks away (by oxoniensis)tsuki_no_bara on February 15th, 2009 10:57 pm (UTC)
oh, dean. this is so him this season. :(
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 05:54 am (UTC)
And so not where we wish he were right now. :(

I wanted happiness and relief for him this season, and the angst-fest just continues on...
May Robinson: Dean Vulnerable & Wakingmay7fic on February 15th, 2009 11:33 pm (UTC)
So true to s4 Dean, you just nailed it - him - in just a few lines. Awesome!

But it hurts ::sniff::
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
But it hurts ::sniff::

Oh, it does. Being back is better than still being in Hell... but not by much, at least from what we've seen. :(
May Robinson: Dean Woobiemay7fic on February 16th, 2009 07:23 pm (UTC)
Being back is better than still being in Hell... but not by much, at least from what we've seen.

And that is such an awful truth, isn't it?

These boys are both so due for a reprieve. Alas, I don't think Kripke plans on giving them one any time soon, if at all :(
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 07:50 pm (UTC)
These boys are both so due for a reprieve. Alas, I don't think Kripke plans on giving them one any time soon, if at all :(

I don't either. I think he plans to break our hearts several times over, and theirs as well, before this season is out. :(
layne: dean falllayne67 on February 16th, 2009 03:24 am (UTC)
Caught in limbo, Dean's as dead as when the hellhounds took him down.

And Sam's not helping much either :((

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 07:08 pm (UTC)
And Sam's not helping much either :((

No, he isn't. :(

He's not as happy to have Dean back as I would have expected, and I don't feel the love between the boys that we saw in the previous seasons. It's like the relationship between them is almost dead, and what's left for Dean when that's true? *sniffle*
Yo: SPN:  crushed Dean (Sam)dreamlittleyo on February 16th, 2009 03:25 am (UTC)
Oh OUCH, beautiful and breaks me right in two!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 07:09 pm (UTC)
Your comment makes me very happy, which probably seems wrong, but I'm sure you'll understand why. ♥
smilla: 2deanfreshbloodsmilla02 on February 16th, 2009 11:47 am (UTC)
Caught in limbo, Dean's as dead as when the hellhounds took him down.

This just hurts.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
It does. When is it going to get better? I have this terrible fear that it isn't :(
gardnerhill: want fodogardnerhill on February 16th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC)
Detatchment from everyday life is a classic symptom of depression.

Jensen isn't phoning in -- Kripke is telegraphing the season. Dean wants to stop feeling. The angels can offer him the one thing he wants now. And the complete lack of feeling any emotional bond is the only possible way that Dean would ever turn against YellowEyed!Sam.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 16th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
Detatchment from everyday life is a classic symptom of depression.
It is, and we can sure understand why Dean's going through it. Surviving what he did-- and remembering it-- is worse to him than dying at this point. All he can do is try not to be more aware of anything than he really has to. He does want to stop feeling.

And the complete lack of feeling any emotional bond is the only possible way that Dean would ever turn against YellowEyed!Sam.
Oh yes. But God, how I hate the fact that this is where Kripke seems to be leading us. *sniffles*
Antyantychan on February 20th, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
Wahhhh! *sobs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on February 20th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
How did we wind up here? And can it please get better, without killing all of us along the way? *sniffles*
Deadbeat Nymph: dean stubble softdeadbeat_nymph on February 26th, 2009 11:22 pm (UTC)
This is so heartbreaking, and so real. I'm heavily into Dean's head right now as I'm writing my Big Bang, and although this isn't exactly where I am at the moment, it feels right and true. And so terribly painful. :'(
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on March 1st, 2009 06:56 am (UTC)
it feels right and true. And so terribly painful. :'(
That's the best I can hope for, with what Season Four is giving us. I wish he didn't feel this way (god, I wish the boys could be happy instead of becoming more and more broken), but feeling it along with Dean helps me to accept it a little better.
tru_to_myself on March 13th, 2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
Oh....
Now I know why I friended you again...you like to break my heart. In a wonderful way, if that makes any sense.
This little ficlet is so very Dean during this season! IMO, I think that his and Sam's roles are slowly being reversed: Dean is becoming the one who needs to lean on someone, and Sam is the one who's...well, becoming downright scary, for one, and less like his old self; more of a...threat. I think that Castiel was right:

"Your brother is heading down a dangerous road, Dean, and we don't know where it leads."

None of us do. And that's the most frightening thing of all.
Lovely job.
*hugs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on March 29th, 2009 07:53 am (UTC)
IMO, I think that his and Sam's roles are slowly being reversed: Dean is becoming the one who needs to lean on someone, and Sam is the one who's...well, becoming downright scary, for one, and less like his old self; more of a...threat.
I like this idea very much, and to me it is so long overdue for Dean to lean on someone else-- and to take the comfort that is due to him. And Sam IS becoming scary, but not intentionally. He's still trying to make the world right, using every tool at his disposal. The farther in the season we get, the more slippery the slope becomes, but Sam himself never sees it.

I'm so glad you liked this one-- and oh but Season Four has been a heartbreaker (I'm afraid to see where it'll finally go). :0