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25 October 2007 @ 10:10 am
Supernatural Gen Drabble: Where There's No Room To Breathe  
Title: Where There's No Room To Breathe
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Sam and Dean (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: AHBL2 drabble for the 100_ghosts challenge on "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't."

x-x-x-x-x

It's several days before the reality is inescapable— that it's hopeless to dream of Sam not being dead, or of Dean's own future not being booze and self-destruction until the day he finally stops running from whatever just wants to take him.

The silence and the stillness conspire to destroy Dean. He cannot take for a single second more this emptiness staring back at him in the form of everything he's lost.

Living without Sam is one form of Hell. Bargaining himself away for Sam's life means an eternity that promises to be worse.

Damned regardless… Dean makes his choice.


-------- fin --------


 
 
 
Gretagretazreta on October 25th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC)
Ooh I like that, a lot.
I really think that life without Sam is what hell is for Dean. So either way, he's kind of screwed. But at least, the way he chose, he can have hope that Sam is better off. I guess...
The last line is KILLER.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 25th, 2007 03:24 pm (UTC)
I really think that life without Sam is what hell is for Dean.
Oh, me too. I think if Dean had had to kill Sam personally, he'd have killed himself immediately afterward. But otherwise... I think he might soldier on badly with a huge death wish and just stop being all that careful until something did him in.

But the chance to bring Sam back... he knows Sam can survive losing him (he already chose to walk away for four years once), and he's convinced Sam deserves life more than he does. Even if the Crossroads demon had given him no time at all-- like his dad-- he'd still have made that trade. Ouch!
The Grammarian about whom your mother warned you.acostilow on October 25th, 2007 02:18 pm (UTC)
Oh, Dean.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 25th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Somehow, when it really matters it's still all about Sam...

How I've missed the toothbrush porn! :)
x5valex5vale on October 25th, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
Dean....

Best final line ever.

*sighs*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 25th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
Best final line ever.
Such a perfect scenario for the prompt (talk about a doomed choice for Dean!), and that line just summarizes the prompt without saying it directly.

*sigh* is right. :(
x5valex5vale on October 25th, 2007 03:33 pm (UTC)
Exactly. It's perfect. Short, intense and let the reader understand what's happening next.

cindy: spn - dean looks away (by oxoniensis)tsuki_no_bara on October 25th, 2007 05:35 pm (UTC)
this is perfect for that prompt, wow. i don't think dean really saw it as much of a choice, but i do buy that he'd take a minute to weigh keeping his soul and losing his brother vs keeping his brother and losing his soul, and deciding that sam's life is worth more than his, and sam's survival is worth an eternity in hell. i mean, gretazreta's right - living without sam, because he failed to keep sam safe, is dean's idea of hell. and this way at least one of them gets to carry on.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Sam & Dean Genhalfshellvenus on October 25th, 2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
living without sam, because he failed to keep sam safe, is dean's idea of hell.
I think even just living without Sam period, when Sam's all he had left, would be Dean's idea of hell. He doesn't have a lot of emotional ties to people, and the ones he does are fierce and his only true sustenance. Surviving just to save strangers from the things other people don't believe in finally just isn't worth it. :(

And the fact that it's Sam who dies and Dean who survives... Gah! Dean's convinced the world would be better off if it were the other way around. Everything for Sam, when it comes right down to it. *sigh*
Pheebs1pheebs1 on October 25th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
Damned regardless… Dean makes his choice.


Aw woe. Excellent drabble!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 25th, 2007 08:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you, Pheebs! And though there are a lot of humorous ways to go with this prompt, the ABHL2 one seemed perfect. Talk about the lesser of evils. :(
ErinRua: Dean fogerinrua on October 25th, 2007 11:18 pm (UTC)
*wince* Ouch. I need to bring bandaids to your fics. ;-)

And you know? I don't think Hell for Dean will/would be fire or brimstone. I think his hell is being alone. Utterly. Alone.

Without Sam. *sighs*

~ Erin
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 26th, 2007 06:21 am (UTC)
I think his hell is being alone. Utterly. Alone.
Without Sam. *sighs*


I completely agree-- without anyone he loves that much (because it was John and Sam, and no-one else approached that) and no-one who actually knows him and loves him back in spite of knowing him that well (that's how Dean would see it). :(
dc_longwing on October 26th, 2007 02:31 am (UTC)
Holy crap, girl. I loved this to pieces. It's hard and dark, but every single word is so perfect and true. Nothing extra, nothing left out.
That's IT, right there, and all crammed into a drabble. Jesus. How do you DO that?
Thanks,
DC
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 26th, 2007 06:23 am (UTC)
It's funny how the art of a drabble forces you to have no wasted lines-- every part has to be part of the larger meaning, and has to approach and leave the climax at the right pace. It distills entire scenes down to their essence-- and I'm still always thrilled when it works! ♥
gorgeous and affectingjoans23 on October 26th, 2007 11:27 am (UTC)
Drabble! Drabble!! Drabble!!! I love 'em!
Most excellent drabble writing, my dear! Packs a mighty punch!

I'm sorry about all the !, but drabbles just do that to me!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 26th, 2007 09:20 pm (UTC)
:D I enjoy them quite a bit, and heaven knows I write a ton of them thanks to all the challenges here on LJ. :)
shaitanah: pb_michaelshaitanah on October 26th, 2007 02:18 pm (UTC)
It's heartbreaking to think how much Dean really depends on his brother, especially now that he has no one but him. I almost cried during that episode. Beautiful drabble! It reveals all the depth of Dean's despair in just a few sentences. I love it!
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on October 26th, 2007 09:21 pm (UTC)
Oh, depths of despair is right. Losing Sam isn't something that Dean would ever really survive, not in spirit. :(
nativestarnativestar on October 28th, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
Oh Dean. I liked this, especially Living without Sam is one form of Hell. Bargaining himself away for Sam's life means an eternity that promises to be worse. It really sums up Dean's 'choice', he's damned both ways but one means Sam's alive so there's really no choice at all for Dean.
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on June 17th, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
It really sums up Dean's 'choice', he's damned both ways but one means Sam's alive so there's really no choice at all for Dean.
That's what makes his choice so heartbreaking, in a lot of ways. He can't really make a different one, and we know that one isn't good.

So hopeless, and so very Dean.
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on June 8th, 2008 08:27 am (UTC)
Damn...

*hugs you*
The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors: Diner Deanhalfshellvenus on June 17th, 2008 07:52 pm (UTC)
Such a hard place to be, isn't it? Seems like much of Dean's life, when you think about it. *sniffle* *hugs back*