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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 September 2015 @ 11:41 pm
I thought I was going to come home last night and pay bills, hang out with our kids, catch up on sleep. Instead, I got tagged to start the first round of runthecon, so I stayed up late writing and posting a story! Great prompt, though—it gave me a very clear idea right away.

Our daughter had two wisdom teeth pulled yesterday, so she's feeling a little out of it and more sociable than usual. Swollen jaw, but not too much pain. Our son had four wisdom teeth removed about three weeks ago, and I can't believe I didn't mention it. He was miserable the first day, and kept complaining that the painkillers were worthless. Then, along about bedtime:

"I just realized, I mixed up the antiobitics and the pain pills."

I've been teasing him about his Wild West pain-management techniques ever since. ;)

At work today, somebody unpacked something that involved styrofoam molding. I could not get the earbuds in fast enough—the screeching of styrofoam is to me what fingernails-on-the-blackboard is to other people. Yikes! As a result, though, I spent much of the day listening to various Khachaturian recordings. I love the violin concerto, and the lush, unusual chords and eastern melodies. Khachaturian was the only well-known Armenian classical composer, and there is a distinct sound to his music that is wonderfully different from the Russians, the Czechs, and the Hungarians.

On a side note, I do not see how the car wash guy on Breaking Bad is not Armenian (those eyebrows!). Imdb.com says the actor is Romanian, though, like the character. Still...

And in a final random note, our family movie this week was Mockingjay, Part I, and let me just say... I found that book to be the least interesting one in the trilogy, so why in the hell would you want to stretch it into two parts? Also? We now definitively know whether Jennifer Lawrence can make dolphin noises.

All right, it's getting late again. Off to bed.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Rolling With The Tide
Fandom: White Collar
Characters: Neal, Mozzie, June (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Neal's plans take an abrupt turn for shore.
Author's Notes: For runthecon, and the prompt of "Rainy Sunday afternoon."


"Unbelievable." Neal sloshed up to the front door, water dripping from his once-fashionable bucket-hat.

Mozzie sneezed. "I don't control the weather, you know."

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Moz. It's the meteorologists from the radio, the Times, and the web who should have seen that storm coming." Neal took off his deck shoes and poured them out before stepping into the front hallway.

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Geez. 104o yesterday, and 102-ish today. I've had to cut my bike rides short these last two days, and while tomorrow's high is supposed to be around 87... today was supposed to be 96. See how well that turned out?

Entertainment updates: We've just started Breaking Bad, S4 (damn, Jim Beaver is in everything), and we're way behind on Mr. Robot, Wayward Pines, and Poldark.

We've seen Unbroken, which was good if a bit long, and I'd like to read the book now. So many sharks... We watched Leap Year with our daughter, who had already seen it 4 times on YouTube... but with chipmunk voices, to avoid piracy issues. Oh, man. I kidded her mercilessly about that. Can you imagine? Moments like, "You just don't understand me!" or "You're the one for me," in squeaky cartoon voices? Talk about ruining the moment. She was very happy to see it with real dialogue, though. I liked Matthew Goode in it. Amy Adams' character was so annoying that Meg Ryan might as well have played that part. Yark.

I just finished reading The Extraordinary Journey Of The Fakir Who Got Trapped In An Ikea Wardrobe, which was delightful overall. I suspect the translator did a good job with it, as the style of the humor was very distinctive, and that's an important part of the author's voice. I have other books in the "To Read" pile, but I need to get to the Harry Bosch book on my Kindle before my library loan expires. That's my "around-the-house" book. My current bedside book is, The Joy of Spooking: Fiendish Deeds, which I picked up because of the title and then decided to check out because of the cover art. I mean, look at those weird, eerie kids! I need—need—to know what they're up to. (Funny—there are multiple covers for the first book, and this is the only really good one).

So, my other hobby right now (aside from struggling to write fic) is Sudoku Monster. I've been playing Sudoku for years, but this one is an even bigger challenge. It's hexidecimal (base-16), and the grid is four 4x4-unit squares. I've already become faster at it in these last few weeks, though it took me 7 days to solve one of them. The most recent one, I got it too big of a hurry and messed it up. With regular Sudoku, I usually only do that with the easiest ones :(

So, no birthdays this weekend. Will I finally get part of the house put away? What are you planning?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
23 August 2015 @ 11:20 pm
I've talked before about how strange other people's phobias seem—sometimes so strange that you forget anyone could even have that phobia.

Our daughter will be going to UC San Diego this fall, which among other things has a well-respected marine biology institute. We mentioned that, and she said that she'd considered taking a class there, but thought that writing a letter to a professor that said, "I am interested in taking your course, but what are the chances that it might include crustaceans?" would probably be just too weird.

I suggested again that she should try to work on that phobia, and she told me she'd come across a gif on her phone just that morning of a crab with a Putin head running on the beach, and it was the most revolting thing she'd ever seen. It would have to be this, which doesn't strike me as particularly unsettling, but still... \o?

Friday, she told me about a dream she'd had that morning, where she was in an elevator but all of the floors had pictures of food instead of numbers.
Me: Ooh, I'd like to go to the ice cream sundae floor, please.
Daughter: But then I pushed the lobster button by mistake.
Me: Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! The "lobster" button!
Daughter: And the door opened, and there were all these horrible lobsters running across the floor trying to get into the elevator—
Me: HAH-hahahahahahaha!
Daughter: It was the worse nightmare I ever had, worse than the one where I was pregnant and someone was chasing me with a knife.
Me: *wipes eyes* Only you could dream about an elevator with a lobster button...

She turned 18 last week (eighteen!), and our son turned 16 on Friday. He had a friend over Saturday, so I made a decorated cake for him. This has been harder since the days when he played with actual toys, but I don't think this turned out badly:

Eye Of Sauron

I'd have loved to do the eye suspended between that sickle arch on the tower, but couldn't find really good picture of it that made any sense to me.

The next major birthday is mine, in a couple of months. I hope to be off sugar between now and then, because these last few weeks? Argh.

All right, work looms tomorrow. It's all flailing all the time, for most of the last 5-6 years, and it's hard to look forward to that anymore. :(

So, good weekend for everyone?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: The Flip Side Of Chaos
Fandom: Die Hard 4
Characters: Matt, John (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Matt has had a hell of a couple of days.
Author's Notes: For the writerverse prompt of "random."


He'd taken a spec-job as a white-hat hacker—it was an opportunity and a challenge. The payoff was winner-takes-all, but Matt was actually that good, so why not? He'd been on the verge of breaking through the last step and claiming victory when he'd had to stop because someone was pounding on the door.

That someone was a beefy cop who'd come looking for Matt for no particularly good reason. The was just about the point where the world exploded, an event Matt honestly had not seen coming at all.

It turned out the cop was one of the good guys—as unbelievable as it was to have both of those ideas exist in the same context. Warlock would have said Matt was the victim of some kind of secret brain implant, except that Warlock had wound up helping them, so that had to prove something.

Maybe it proved Matt had finally had one too many caffeine-fueled all-night coding extravaganzas, and he was actually passed-out on the living room floor,

It didn't feel like that, though. What it felt like was a bullet hole in the knee—a knee that was now the size of a cantaloupe—and the aftermath of a couple of days of being chased and shot at while driving across multiple states in an impossibly convoluted attempt to save the world.

An attempt that had actually worked.

So, in the current version of what seemed to be Matt's new reality, he was lying in a hospital bed waiting for the pain meds to kick in and wondering where the hell he was going to go when the hospital discharged him. His apartment was probably nothing but cinders, and moving back into his parents' place had homicidal implications written all over it. There were aspects of being a hero that definitely sucked.

Matt flipped through TV channels on the remote, bored and restless and thinking that some good news would be nice for a change. He heard a scuffling sound.

"Hey, kid." John McClane came around the corner, his shoulder bandaged and a nurse at his heels who was scolding him to get back in bed.

"Hey," Matt grinned. Of course McClane would be up and running around like he'd barely gotten scratched. The guy probably ate bullets for breakfast.

"I was thinking that you're probably going to need a place to stay when you get out of here. I've got a spare room in my apartment that's there for the taking, if you want."

"That… that'd be great," Matt said. He didn't know whether it was the offer or the morphine, but suddenly his worries just seemed to melt away.

"Terrific," McClane said. "Here's the address. I'm heading there now, but I'll come back and visit if they don't let you out by tomorrow."

"Sure thing," Matt said. "Thanks."

McClane nodded. "Don't mention it."

Matt watched him go, as the nurse followed behind and tried to persuade McClane to at least stay at the hospital overnight.

The apartment was gone—and everything in it—and life was kind of a mess right now. Still, in spite of everything, Matt felt pretty good.

He'd helped John McClane save the world today. After that, everything else seemed easy.


The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
18 August 2015 @ 10:04 am
I didn't mean to disappear for two weeks, and I'm still getting caught up on my f-list. A little over a week behind right now, so getting closer!

We went to Tahoe a few weekends ago, as planned. The cabin was nice, though the bedrooms were tiny, and there was some unexpected rain and difficulty (SO typical near Tahoe) finding various trailheads. Still, we watched movies together, I went hiking with the kids, and the grownups did some reading. It was good family time, and that was what I really wanted—especially with our oldest going off to college in a month.

I finished some books: The Boy Who Lost Fairyland, Edison's Alley, Everybody Sees The Ants, Messenger of Fear (ugh), and a couple of others. I recently started The Extraordinary Journey Of The Fakir Who Got Trapped In An Ikea Wardrobe, which I'm really enjoying, and at the gym... another Jack Reacher novel. :D

Moviewise, we saw Selma (very good), and Wild. I was a little worried about the sleazy parts of the latter, since we were watching it with our daughter, but they were mostly just depressing. Good movie overall, and mainly... I loved Laura Dern in this. She has such a great combination of resilience and sweetness, and this is a role where you need to feel why the main character would completely fall apart after losing her mother. It's a pivotol casting choice, much like the character of Yinsen in Iron Man, or the captured soldier in The Crying Game, where knowing that person will change the main character's future choices dramatically. As someone put it, Forest Whitaker is in the first 10 minutes of the movie (maximum), mostly with a bag over his head, and yet... you can't help liking him, and growing attached to him. That really says something about him as a actor!

We've been watching more Breaking Bad, and are nearing the end of S3. Jesse has become my favorite character (when I don't want to smack him), while he's also the part of the story my husband hates the most. Oy. Mike hasn't appeared recently, but he's really grown on me. He's gruff and hides in plain sight, and is SO quietly competent. The scene where he roars in from off-camera and swoops up Walter before Walter can compound his bad choices with even stupider ones? Whoo!

We're a little behind on Poldark. Our daughter is going through her "Brit" phase, mainly soccer and Benedict Cumberbatch. My teen Brit phase was Monty Python, soccer, and Poldark, but that last part doesn't interest our daughter at all. I almost found myself saying, "Geez, they remade that series already?", before I realized that it had been about 35 years or more. o_O

My writing has been slow—mainly since changing my antidepressants around Christmas time, though I'll have to live with that. I've started a number of things for writerverse and just not finished them by the deadline! Still making the effort, though.

Some links to share, many overdue. I may even be repeating some of them, via shoddy memory: Horrified cats, Cool nature photos (now that the Blue Pueblo Tumblr has died off), and the glorious Muppet version of Bohemian Rhapsody (so wrong and so utterly fabulous).

And now? Vork, vork, vork, and an attempt to bike in about an hour—despite the light smoke, knowing that I can't go tomorrow and because yesterday was much too hot.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Some Days, The Bear Gets You
Author: HalfshellVenus
Rating: PG
Summary: Platitudes really are less helpful than a sharp stick.
Author's Notes: For writerverse’s Story Starter Challenge.


"It’s getting bad again."

My friend, William, didn’t even look up from his laptop. "Well, just don’t scratch it."

My hand stopped halfway to my leg, but then I gave up and clawed at the skin anyway. "Shut up," I said, "That’s like telling someone that they should ignore a bat flying around their head, because it probably won’t bite them—much."

"It probably wouldn’t," he said. "Plus, it’s just a rash. Do you want to have scars when it’s gone?"

"No." I slapped my skin, hoping the sting would stop the itching. "Though scratching is the only reason I haven’t killed you yet."

William closed the lid of his computer. "It was not my idea to try to climb that water tower," he said. "And I told you those plants at the bottom looked like poison oak."

"And you were the one who thought it would be fun to get the junk yard’s Rottweiler all worked up," I reminded him. "After that, the water tower was our only hope."

"All right, fair point." William went back to looking at his computer.

I paced around the room, driven by thoughts of blowtorches and sandpaper, and sweet, morphine-induced relief. "Anything?"

"You’ve tried calamine lotion."

"Two hours ago," I said. The memory of its uselessness made me itch all over again.

"Then we could be here awhile," he said. "But I’ll keep searching."

"Hurry it up." The side of my left knee was weeping, but it didn’t even slow me down.

"Stop scratching!" William said.

"Shut up, or I’ll put rats in your bed!"

The only thing harder than these last few hours was knowing we were barely past lunchtime, and I still had most of an entire day to get through before there was any hope of sleeping the worst of this torture off.

-- / --

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
"I have a sea shanty stuck in my head."

Thank you, League of Legends. Apparently, it's a pretty good shanty too—another thing I never thought I'd hear him say! This is probably better than one of his recent Minecraft stories: apparently, the villagers in that game don't so much talk as just say, "Hurrrr... hurrrr..." My son and his friend came back to their hut one time and found 8 or 9 villagers inside who would not leave and also would not shut up. The boys dug a hole in the floor and buried the villagers, so they wouldn't have to listen to them anymore. :O

I'm trying to plan a brief Lake Tahoe getaway before my son's school starts up, and at this late date... who knew so many cabin rental places would be these flaky arrangements where you can't just book online, but have to play email tag with the owners instead? Meanwhile, I'm getting nervous and the prices are going up. I mean, I'm looking at this coming Thursday! Argh.

Still, hoping to pull it off. Hiking for my son and me, enough water/shops/etc. for my daughter compared to the place in the mountains where we like to camp, and ideally a chance for us all to relax together and read a lot of books. :)

Or viewing entertainment has included The Avengers, which was new to me but not my husband and son. Unpopular opinion alertCollapse )

HalfshellHusband and I saw Mr. Holmes this past weekend, and let me just thank whoever gave Ian McKellan such a marvelous role at this stage in his career. :)

I also finished The Devil's Detective, started writing a Battle Creek fanfic that I didn't finish (for the fandom so small that there are no communities for it here or at Dreamwidth), rewatched another episode of that show to recapture some inspiration, floated massive "Organize the House!" thoughts that did not bear fruit, and went to the library to gather supplies for my son against the coming weekend. Not as many books as the weight of my bookbag implied, but several were "grown up" books in attempt to... slow his rate of consumption? Something.

All right, my little chickadees, time to fly!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
20 July 2015 @ 11:04 pm
I got my bicycle back about 8 days ago, and I rode a ton last week to make up for lost time. More than 75 miles in the first three days, then a day off followed by another 75-ish miles in the next three days. Finally! \o/

At home, we lost our air-conditioning during a heat wave last week. It always takes a couple of days to notice that the house isn't cooling down, and that the vents seem to be blowing not-really-cold air. By that time, you can't get a spot on the repair-guy's schedule. Fixed today, and apparently caused by a surge after two power blackouts last week. Thanks, SMUD. :(

We're still watching Breaking Bad (now in early S3), still rewatching Fringe (Oh, S2 plot-arc for Charlie—I still wish that hadn't happened), and HalfshellHusband and I are watching Poldark. Poldark is a period soap-opera, really, more obvious now than when I watched the original in my mid-teens. Still, the star is SO handsome. Wow. Uncle Poldark is highly distracting, though. My first thought was that he reminded me of John Noble, but the second and enduring thought was that he is the personification of the Frog Footman from Alice In Wonderland. Yikes.

I wrote two Battle Creek fanfics in the last couple of weeks. I'd planned not to, but the characterization and voices written by the most prolific fanfic author are just so "off" to me that I couldn't help myself. Also, some useful prompts came up at writerverse.

I've finished reading The Ghost Shift (drama/mystery set in modern China), and that Terry Pratchett book, and have started The Devil's Detective (bleak but interesting, and yes—a mystery set in Hell) and The Boy Who Lost Fairyland. That second one is my bedtime book, and not a great choice for that. It's fully of rich, weird detail and wry humor, and I find that kind of thing challenging to fully absorb late at night. Mainly, I'm afraid I might be missing something! The little asides that flow by include things like stone carvings featuring "stunningly suited people who have plain faces and are wearing coats with more buttons than anyone needs," or a little troll despairing of the shabby nightgown he was kidnapped in and thinking that he'd have worn something nicer if he'd known he was going to meet the Post Office.

Now, have some links on a common theme. From my f-list, a crabby and petulant poem by Pluto (can you blame it?). From coworkers to whom I showed the poem, a t-shirt-style picture, and a mini-video that is both adorable and sad at once. Awwww... All so very fitting!

All right, tomorrow's early-morning meeting means I need to get to bed, but at least I've updated first. :D

ETA: I have the Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden" stuck in my head now for unknown reasons, and somehow I feel as if someone should pay for that. :(