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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
12 February 2016 @ 01:25 pm
Lost And Found
idol friends and rivals | week nine | 1400 words


I could say that the dog ate my homework, but I'm a grown-up now—I don't have homework. Or, for that matter, a dog.

It's just that things keep disappearing. I'm either suffering from mental deficiencies, or there's some kind of vortex-thingy in my house. I know, totally annoying, right? Yeah, you don't know the half of it.

At first it was just little things, like socks. Everybody loses socks, so I didn't even think it was all that weird. Keys, sure, you lose those now and then, but they always turn up again. The receipts for November's travel expenses—that was a piece of grief. I spent an entire weekend turning the place upside down looking for those, because that was actual money.

The customer file for Jones & Klein was an even bigger panic—that almost cost me my job. I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea to bring that thing home, but I've learned my lesson. Important papers stay at the office now—or at least, locked in the car. They do not cross over the threshold of mystery that defines this stupid place.

What really got me, though, was the hamster. I was looking after it while my neighbor was on vacation, and when I got up one morning the little guy had disappeared—cage and all. That was when I knew something was seriously wrong.

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I am still part of a team, where votes for the team as a whole matter! Please vote for any entries you enjoy from my Weird Sisters team and any other teams. All stories are here...

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 February 2016 @ 11:07 am
Dove and Raven
idol friends & rivals | week eight | 1089 words


Dove and Raven were born in a clapboard house in Kentucky on a January night with no stars. Their mother said all the dogs below the hill were howling for miles.

Raven was dark and had a temperament that led her to scream until she was hoarse. Dove was fair and never cried at all. You might find Raven sneaking through the shadows in cunning pursuit of something she wanted. Dove sat in the sunlight, quiet and content with things just as they were. Sometimes she cooed happily to herself, but mostly she was silent, too absorbed in everything around her to make a sound.

Dove could make bees sing, and Raven could pull thunder and lightning down from the sky.

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I am part of a team this week, where votes for the team as a whole matter! Please vote for any entries you enjoy from my Weird Sisters team, any other teams, and the standalone "Rivals" group. All stories are here...

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
03 February 2016 @ 01:48 pm
So, the Thursday Next book I'm reading is not the one I thought it was. Not sure how I always confuse Book 2 with Book 3, except that it seems like The Well Of Lost Plots (actually Book 3) should come right after the first one. Fine, I guess I'll just be ratholing down most of the series then, because I know I'll want to re-read 3 and 4 is my favorite. OTOH, Book 2 definitely uses the footnoterphone, so I can see how workable that is on Kindle once I have practice.

Did anyone besides Cindy try out the BunDucksLiga 2016 Qualifying Rounds and Finals videos? My daughter's favorite team is Bayern-München, whose duck has lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat, and looks fairly derpy overall. This year, they seem to have chosen a new vendor for some of the ducks—their faces look utterly panicked. My favorite are the "non-duck" ducks, though. Last year's Werder-Bremen frog is now a lawn gnome, there's a wolf of some sort for Wolfsburg, and then a sheep that the announcer insists on calling a "foal." What is up with that? He says it multiple times, and it is definitely a sheep!

This is like watching the beginning of Chappie, where Anderson Cooper plays himself. My memory of that is the buzz of whatever Cooper's lines were, broken by "Wait, did he just say robut?" and "There it is again, I swear he's saying robut" followed by "For the love of god, WHY is he saying ROBUT?"

I cannot hear "robut" without thinking of Zoidberg, so that just makes everything weirder.

No real progress on my Idol entry yet. Lots of ideas that don't want to be written, and another busy work-week. Also, my outdoor bicycling time is when I usually think this through, and that will not be happening before the deadline day. :( Stupid, stupid rain!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 February 2016 @ 01:35 pm
I misjudged my biking opportunities this weekend, and let Saturday creep too far toward darkness while I dithered over the unexpected clouds. I went running instead, but Sunday's clear weather was windier than forecast. TOO windy. Nuts—settled for garage-biking. Monday was too windy again, today is rainy, so I'll be hauling the bike back from work to bike in the garage again. Hey, at least I'm enjoying The Walking Dead in there. I'm in late Season 4 now.

While researching Hozier last week, I finally (two years late to the party) saw the heartbreaking video for Take Me To Church. Wow. Now I'm shipping the two characters/actors in that vid together, because I'm an idiot like that. I Googled them, and both (along with the head villain) are part of a comedy group in Ireland that mainly does satirical videos. Some are fairly long and of the "Possibly the joke has gone on too long here" variety—one features both actors from that Hozier vid being "interviewed" as all the characters from a shipwreck—but I still liked them. Some were pretty good, including Oh Yummy-Food Delivery Service (every bad automated-phone-system experience you've ever had, except possibly worse) and Bünotech.

So, Bünotech! The German/Scandinavian geek version of "hip" displayed in the one character's choice of flipped-up collar with bowtie cracks me up, but moreover... I work in the tech industry, and this vid seems like a lot of what comes down the pike:

Tech Company: This is the greatest [hype] ever to arrive. It's so much more [hype] than the competition!
You: What is it you actually make?
Tech Company: We [hype] the [hype] because [hype]. It's visionary, a revolution in [HYPE]!
You: What's the end goal, though, the purpose?
Tech Company: To [hype] the [hypey-hype] in a fantastic, innovative [hype] of [hype]!
You: Okay fine, don't tell me.

Bookwise, I inadvertantly reread all of The Eyre Affair. I'm trying to decide on some Kindle books to buy (mostly, I just borrow them from the library), and the Thursday Next series would be an ideal candidate except that the "footnoterphone" effect does not translate well to Kindle. I wanted to see how awkward it was (my son re-read the series on Kindle recently, and got that feature to work), but I forgot that there is no footnoterphone in the first book! Still, a good read. Now I've slipped into the second book, because hey—that was one of my favorites from the first time around. I finished The Sea of Trolls on Saturday—a really good kids book with lots of Viking detail, though not suitable for under age 10 (it's kind of gory). Probably about time to add a fourth book into my ongoing mix...

Hey, if YOU were a book, what book would you be? And why?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
29 January 2016 @ 02:13 pm
Such Treasure
idol friend and rivals | week 7 | 1000 words
This is a gift, it comes with a price, who is the lamb and who is the knife?


They met the summer Eli came back from the war, just two weeks after Jenny moved to Waynesboro to live with her aunt and uncle.

Jenny was seventeen, too young to live alone, and Eli was twenty—too changed to live at home, but stuck there all the same. Jenny was out walking just for a change of scenery and Eli was wandering the streets because he couldn't sit still. Their paths crossed at the drugstore on 4th and Main, Eli's hand on Jenny's as they both reached for the door.

"Oh!" Jenny said. "I'm sorry!"

"My fault," Eli said. "I don't think I've seen you around here before."

Jenny smiled. "I just moved here. I finally had a chance to get out of the house."

Eli laughed. "I know what you mean. I'm only going inside this store 'cause I have nothing better to do. I'm Eli, by the way."


"Are you busy right now, Jenny? Could I buy you a soda?"

"I believe I'd like that," Jenny said, and the two of them went inside.

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I am part of a team this week, where votes for the team as a whole matter! Please vote for any entries you enjoy from my Weird Sisters team, any other teams, and the standalone "Rivals" group. All stories are here...

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
28 January 2016 @ 01:49 pm
I promised some music links a couple of days ago, so I'm back. :D

Someone linked me to an Adele "Tiny Desk Concert," and I poked around in other Tiny Desk Concerts and ran across Hozier. I first encountered his music when Angel Of Small Death And The Codeine Scene was featured on The Blacklist, since I don't really listen to the radio much. Here is the Hozier Tiny Desk Concert, which has surprisingly good sound quality. It's his blues influence that I really like (his dad was a blues musician), much as the blues covers by Led Zeppelin tend to be my favorites of their songs. Also notable is Hozier's cover of Illinois Blues. There are several live performances of it, but again—the sound quality on that one is pretty good.

yachiru pointed me toward the Gay Pirates song, which then led to listening to some other songs by Cosmo Jarvis, namely Maxine and She's Got You. Surprisingly catchy.

Our daughter was thrilled to discover that someone made a musical about Alexander Hamilton, who is her favorite founding father. This is not a recommendation! The music is pretty terrible, lots of mediocre rap and then very vanilla generic-type show tunes. Still, she loves it (yes, even though she hates rap) because it speaks to her geek. The show apparently is coming to San Francisco, so she might actually get a chance to go see it.

Courtesy of the S.F. Chronicle telling the above, I think I should also link this great story on the PB & J Bot installed in a San Francisco market. I swear, people probably feed money into it hoping for it to have one of its "meltdowns," as that apparently is a sight worth seeing!

And referencing our daughter again... the Bundesliga has created new videos for 2016 of the BunDucksLiga Qualifying Rounds and Finals. A brave move to take it outdoors this year, but I see the "crowd" has grown, so perhaps they needed a bigger venue. ;)

My Idol entry has barely started. Too sleepy to get very far last night, and I'v been doing work stuff late into the night since Monday. Suckage! I'll have to poke at it when I get home. Meanwhile... finally Thursday. That extra work makes the week seem like it has gone on For.Ev.Er. :(

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
26 January 2016 @ 06:20 pm
I've tried a couple of times to Google a condition that plagues the base of our cherry tree and the middle of one of our rose trees. But the best description I could think of the other day was "rose carbuncles," which resulted in links offering to show me rose-colored carbuncles on humans. No thank you!

I just now tried "rose boils" as another option, and the hits that came up were more disgusting than the first thing. Wow.

I did finish pruning our walkway rose trees on Sunday. I did 7 of the 10 the previous weekend (on the only non-rainy day), but ran out of daylight. Now they're all done. But one of them has been suffering from those lumpy growths for several years, and now they're spreading, so I need to find an answer for that before I forget all over again and the plant eventually dies. :(

The new Idol prompts are up, but I have no idea what to write for any of them. We just have to pick one, and I've parsed a few down to more abstracted meanings, but... still no story inspiration. Any ideas? They are

"All lies and jest still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."
"When you live for someone you're prepared to die"
"This is a gift, it comes with a price, who is the lamb and who is the knife?"
"The security deposit is non-refundable and will be retained by management as liquidated damages."

Last week's entry was crack, which was fun but also more work than you might expect. Writing humor generally is! Comics talk about that kind of thing, where it might be just a word choice—"chicken" is funnier than "dove" and "sturgeon" is funnier than "salmon." At least, out loud. :D

Might share some music links tomorrow, thanks to some ratholing around at youtube due to various comments on other people's Idol entries. What are YOU listening to these days?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 January 2016 @ 02:38 pm
Feeling kind of slow and foggy, after dreaming all night about killing zombies. At some kind of corporate camp or something. Thanks a lot, Z Nation! That's what I get for watching you before bed. :(

I went running last night before dinner. I've been going about every 9-10 days lately, as I feel my plantar fasciitis trying to come back (NOOooooooooooo!). I've been mentally running Led Zeppelin's Since I've Been Lovin' You in my head as my pacer, which is making me a little faster than some previous tunes. The first movement of Beethoven's Sixth Symphony has been my generic go-to pacer for years, though I hate that piece, and I've tried the middle movement of Khachaturian's Piano Concerto recently—better, and slightly faster—and a few other things. This Zeppelin tune keeps me fast enough that I've had to stop a few times from overheating (if only the temps were about 5 degrees colder!), but overall my times are better. Though the desire to lessen the foot impact (see plantar fasciitis above) changes my gait, and my hips are both feeling like crap today. Sore and stiff from front to back. Argh. Let's be old! \o/

I finished reading David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day, and I liked the second half of the book pretty well. The first half talks about speech therapy and his lisping problem as a child, and it implies that 1) lisping is just part of being gay! It's inevitable! and 2) all lispers will obviously become gay men, and girls never lisp, and by implication there are no non-effeminate gay men? IDK, this part was really starting to piss me off, and because he named names of other boys in 'lisp' therapy during his grade school years (including one boy whom he says came "mincing around the corner"), he is effectively outing a bunch of other kids without their consent who may or may not have actually turned out to be gay (or if so, chosen to be open about it), but also... what the hell?!? $%*^?!@*!#&!! Yeah, I'm still pissed off.

I'm currently reading Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children, which I tried to get our son interested in years ago. It's never at the library, but I borrowed it via Kindle (not ideal, considering the number of interesting and weird pictures in it). It is not at all what I expected—the tone is completely different, and the construct of the story is more about an "ordinary" boy looking into his grandfather's past and uncovering a deeper and more sci-fi/fantasy type of mystery. Very hard to put down, which means I've gotten little else done this weekend but reading it and Idol entries, and exercising. Hey, better than a bad or aggravating book.

We're enjoying Second Chance on TV, and how nice to have The Blacklist back in all its cracktastic glory. But where are Ichabod and Abbie, and why do so many people rag on the humor aspects of Limitless (which are honestly our favorite parts)?

All right, time to bike soon. I got out last week on the bike path, and was able to go upstream for a change! (Only on non-holiday weekdays, since it's too crowded otherwise and the legions of the clueless are dangerous) Last Monday was a holiday, so I went downstream. We'd had rain for days, so there were puddles I had to go through because there was no "around." I'm hoping they've dried up quite a bit by now!

The Super Bowl is coming up, not that I really care, but... didn't that used to be held around the last weekend in January, up until recently? It's in February now, and I'm not sure why that changed.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
The State Of The Human
idol friends and rivals | week 6 | 1312 words
Ovary punch



The HQ Commander tapped the lead neuron to make sure it was responding.

"We have now entered morning. I will be asking all stations to report on the State of the Human. Preliminary status is that coffee has reached the stomach but not the brain. Eyes are at half-mast and weekend regrets are a Go. I repeat, bring weekend regrets to full speed. We've got a Monday on our hands."

The beginnings of a caffeine tide trickled through HQ, and the Commander felt it wash through him. Much better.

"Bladder, usual status?" he barked.

"Yessir, everything's fine now. The back wanted me to tell you that he's—"

"Save it," the Commander said. "Stiff and sore, yada-yada-yada, every morning's the same. If he still hurts after lunchtime, he can tell me himself. Feet, what's up?"

"Still working on the coordination, but getting in synch—"

"Look out, loose rug ahead!"

"Do you mind? I'm talking here."

"All right, ladies, thank you, moving on..." The Commander checked the neuron threads. "G.I. tract, how's it hanging?"

A moan floated through HQ. "Possible issue with last night's pepperoni pizza."

"I told you it was too late to eat one of those. Didn't I tell you? In fact, I think those were my exact words."

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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.