idol friends and rivals | week 0 | 308 wordsIntroduction
"Come in, everyone, and find a seat. Anywhere will do. There are copies of the course syllabus on the tables at the ends of each aisle—be sure to take one. We have a lot of material to cover this quarter, and the course information will help you know what to do. Yes, keep moving, we're almost ready to start.
"Ralph Hardwick! Either behave, or drop the course right now. You've been a pest since you were ten years old, and everybody knows it. I will not have you treating my course the way you treated my front yard this past summer. Sit down, pay attention, and do not talk unless I call on you. That goes for everyone, people!
"All right, let's get started. This is "Introduction to Writing," and I am your instructor, Dorothy Dash.
"More than anything, this course is about words. Long words, short words, nouns, verbs, adjectives, and gerunds. There will be more words than you can shake a stick at, though why would you want to? We will read them, write them, digest
them until they are part of us, until they consume our thoughts:
Wizzle, wuzzle, if words were puzzles,
then who would walk the dog?
"What is life, really, but words? We will—"Sit down this instant, Megan Blakely, I'm talking!
"As I was saying, we will take words and move them around and ponder, and then we will ponder some more, because that is the essential part of what we do here. There will be four written assignments a week, mandatory attendance, and extra credit will be given to those who can guess what books I've been reading in my off-hours over the term.
"I do not grade on a curve, and I do not accept late—"Hey! Sit down, you kids, for the last time. I mean it!"