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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
17 January 2017 @ 01:04 pm
I drove to the hairdresser's last Thursday night, at the tail end of six consecutive days of rain. I took an old back road (it was 5:00 pm and the route to the Interstate is slowwww then), and it got darker and darker as I went. Everyone else knew the road better and wanted to go faster, so I felt pressured and it was two lanes with a ditch on either side and oncoming cars stuck in a traffic jam and occasionally nosing over the center line. There were several spots where, Eeeee... I hope those are rice paddies. I mean, there was a sawhorse at one point with a "flooded" warning, where the road had since dried up, but a lot of it looked as if I was venturing out toward the middle of a lake with reduced after-dark visibility and nowhere to turn around. I was SO glad to finally meet up with Highway 99.

The next day's bike ride—so anticipated, the first outdoor trip in FOREVER, thanks to the rain and cold—was a little eerie as well. The river was within 30 feet of the bike path in places where I have never seen water, not in 25+ years of biking along there. I didn't know the river could be that close—if there are sloughs nearby, they're down below the grass and treeline. One part that has always been dry was flooded with mud, so I had to take an unplanned detour and got a little lost for awhile. Fortunately, the river and a major street bound two sides of a triangle there, so you have a general sense of where you are. The flooding is because the state is letting water out of the dams, to reduce the future load in the spring. BUT... snow-melt is months from now, and I remember they did this as a safety measure one winter and then it stopped raining altogether. So, overall there was a continued water deficit instead. Shasta Lake is around 65% capacity right now, but it has gotten so low over the last 5-6 years that they should probably let it fill up a little more.

It was too cold to bike outside the next two days, but I got out yesterday. Today was supposed to work out too, but the fog is keeping the temps way down, so apparently not. Then days and days of rain ahead. I've lost a LOT of speed, because I've been getting outside about once a week since the beginning of December, and garage-biking helps but isn't quite the same.

Speaking of which, I'm in the middle of season 4 of Chuck out there. None of this really looks familiar anymore. Maybe I didn't see anything beyond early S4 in the original run? I'm also belatedly watching season 3 of Z Nation. With the first episode, it felt as if there was an interim one I might have missed, but apparently not. I'm mid-season now, and I still have no idea who The Man is, or what his vengeance arc is all about. (Oh, crap! Apparently, there was a pre-S3 TV movie that didn't get picked up by the Tivo, which is where all those missing pieces came from. Argh.) 10K seems to have grown up a bit, though. I'm getting a distinct Murphy/10K hate-sex vibe that is both intriguing and disturbing. If those two had a song, it might be this Incubus one I discovered last week. I just finished watching "They Grow Up So Fast," with the cracktastic and highly fictional re-enactment of the story of Murphy And The Baby-Mama. In summary, I still love Doc. He's my favorite.

Weekend-wise, I did not get enough done. There is too much reading for Idol right now—some 80-90 entries to get through in just a few days—and I have projects I need to be working on! The outdoor Xmas lights are put away, though, and most of the inside stuff is packed up.

Now, yardwork? Ugh. Many of the leaves have become one with the mud now, and nothing dries out! Pruning isn't going to go well, either. :(

At least we're living in a relatively high part of town, up above the levee-line...

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
14 January 2017 @ 05:10 pm
Love 4 You
idol season ten | week five | 725 words
Fear is the heart of love


Will you ever find love, or are you doomed to die alone?

As marketing slogans go, it's a little harsh, but that's our motto. You want love? We're Love4You, and we're here to help you find it.

So, how does this work, you might ask? It's pretty simple. You come to us and say you're serious about meeting someone special, and then we work with you until that happens. We might offer grooming tips and behavioral advice, but the real work is in helping you alter your expectations. The biggest problem people have, and you'd think it would be obvious, is that most of them are just too darned picky.

Say you meet a guy, and he's a belch-rocket. That's… well, that one's kind of tough, actually. It's pretty hard to get past that. If that guy is you, though, hey—tone it down a little. What the heck is the matter with you?

Or maybe you meet a nice woman who has a few extra pounds on her, so you decide she's not the one. What are you, Prince Charming? No. Were you ever? Exactly. So, who are you to be so demanding? That same gal has a heart of gold and smile that could light up a room. Do you think women like that come along every day? Of course not. And if they did, you wouldn't recognize them anyway. Let's face it, you're no good at that. It's why you come to us.

Have you always had some fantasy of marrying a rich man and spending his money for the rest of your life? First of all, how many men like that are there? The answer is, practically none. That dream was never going to happen.

Also, that kind of life isn't as happy as you'd think—especially after you get traded in for a younger model, which is practically guaranteed.

Now, your friends might introduce you to a terrific, upstanding guy with a great sense of humor, the kind who'd make an excellent father. Except he's got a little snow on the roof, or maybe the roof is missing a bunch of shingles, or…eh, well. Not the best analogy, but the point is, do you think he likes the hair situation either? No, he does not. So, why hold that against him?

That nice lady on the second floor with the cute glasses and the laugh that makes you feel like you want to be part of the fun? She likes her knitting and craft shows, sure, but would she expect you to knit too? Probably not. So, what's it to you? Ask her out already!

You have to pay attention to what counts and what you've got in common. Do you like traveling? Are you hoping to find someone who feels the same? Well, be careful—if one of you wants to go to foreign countries to see the sights and visit museums, and the other wants to tour the flat states in an RV, that might not work out. Unless you're flexible, in which case, double the fun! You just have to think bigger.

Now, it's not just you—tons of people are in this boat. You probably think the really good-looking ones have it easy, for instance, but you're wrong. A lot of times, those movie-star types only find infatuation instead of love. As soon as another pretty face or someone with a bigger house comes along, their partner is out the door. They'd probably do better if they came to us for help, but you know they won't. Hey, it's their loss, right?

Maybe you're thinking, "Hold on, I don't want to just settle for someone, not yet." Who's talking about settling? We're talking about looking deeper and seeing what really matters, and maybe smoothing some of the edges off you, so you're not being overlooked by everyone else.

Sure, most of this is the kind of stuff your parents tried to teach you years ago, but did you learn? Kids, they don't listen. That's a fact.

So, that's what we do, here at Love4You. We're in the phone book and we're here to help. Just give us a call—you'll be glad you did.

And in the meantime, you could all make this easier on everyone. Just be a little nicer, like your mother told you!

Sometimes, that's all it takes.


If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
11 January 2017 @ 02:53 pm
Our daughter is back at college after a nice month off. It was hard to let her go, as that is the longest we will see her for a year.

Today's term? Misery over someone else's happiness. It isn't complete misery for us, but.. unless some snafu happens, our daughter has an internship in DC this summer, which means we might see her for a week before and afterwards, but definitely not the whole summer. It's a fantastic opportunity for her, and we're thrilled for her. But as parents... we will miss her a great deal. I know this is part of a longer process where she eventually leaves the nest for good, but now that we've had a preview of how hard that's going to be for us, we want to cling to every possible moment that's still left!

Last Saturday was a good day. We went out to Tower Cafe to have French Toast (a long wait, but worth it), then went to see Hidden Figures. We've been waiting months for that film to open, and we finally got our chance, even though seating was limited to the front row. We saw it anyway! Very satisfying. Later, there was dinner at home and TV and conversation. *sigh* Over all too soon!

Sunday, I could feel the cold she'd had trying to "get" me. I took my magic "bug-be-gone" pills, and even went out and bought more since I was running low. But by the end of the day, it was clear they wouldn't save me. So, Monday I was home sick, napping and reading a gazillion Idol entries until my eyes burned, and Tuesday was back at work after a long, sleepless night. Last night was better.

Have I mentioned the money-pit better known as our cat? She started getting serious constipation around Thanksgiving, which we remedied at home, but then the combination of her being listless, cold, weak, and having lost weight meant a visit to the vet. She has early-stage kidney failure and a heart-murmur, and has now had antibiotics for a kidney infection... which resulted in unrelenting diarrhea. Meanwhile, vet bills are up to about $1500 now and they want us to do an electrocardiogram. We brought this little beast home from the shelter at age 4 (almost 5, apparently), and she's always shown signs of being immunocompromised but is otherwise well-loved and happy. We're trying to ride the line between extreme measures and losing her too soon, so we're holding off on the EKG, but she has special kidney-friendly food and various medicines that she mostly hates. She still isn't generating a lot of body heat (and by now is very happy to be wrapped up in a blanket, whereas all previous cats thought that was the first step toward death by jailing or something). But she's happy, and she's playful again. And the 4-day trip the kids and I made up to Oregon shows once again how attached she is to The Boy. He's really worried about when he goes off to college, since he's anticipating being in a dorm, where no pets are allowed. We would definitely let him take her, if he could. Trying to pass her off as a therapy animal would be pretty dodgy, though, and the the truth is that he's her therapy human. Yeah. (^.^)(__)~~

Okay, back to work. Late this afternoon there will be garage-biking (yes— we've had a solid WEEK of rain), and then trying to get something working for the new Idol prompt. Yark.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
06 January 2017 @ 12:28 pm
The Next Big Thing
idol season ten | week 4 | 439 words
“I don't skate to where the puck is. I skate to where the puck is going to be. "


First off, let's be clear. It's not about predicting the next pet rock or nothing, 'cause that shit's crazy, okay? Nobody knows how that works.

No, it's more like this: you think about what people want or need, and then dream up a better version of it. Like, in the future, maybe. I probably ain't describin' it real good, but this stuff ain't easy, you know?

Say somebody comes to you and says, "One day, these cars are gonna drive themselves." But you don't fall for that, 'cause people fuckin' love driving their cars. That ain't never gonna happen. So yeah, not that. Instead, maybe you hear someone say, "Gee, I wish I could walk faster but I can't, on account of my feet are doin' maximum speed already." And you think, "How about tennis shoes with pop-out wheels for skating on? That'd work!"

Not that I came up with that, you unnerstand. It was somebody else. But I'm just sayin'.

'Cause the point is, you gotta anticipate.

Like, for businessmen who're always getting stuck in meetings that run way over into lunch… a tie you could eat, one that maybe tastes like barbecue sauce or something'. That'd be great, right? Though it wasn't actually as popular as I'd hoped, but it coulda been.

Or the Fruit Phone, which was just for fun—a cellphone that looks like a banana or a pineapple or whatever, and you could fit it into your purse. You'd think people would totally go for that, right? But they didn't, not even when I ran ads on late-night TV.

And yeah, I've done the crappy TV ads and the mail-order schemes and the whole bit. They're not great, but they get your product out there, and you earn a buck or two. No shame in that.

Some ideas sell themselves. What about those grill lighters that work better than matches? Or wait, the self-cleaning litter box? That was total genius! Of course, that wasn't mine, either, no such luck. Damn, this business is tough.

You think you know what people want, but you don't, 'cause people are total freaks. And then one day you're lyin' on your deathbed, going "What the hell was I thinkin' going into this line of work, anyway? I shoulda had my head examined!"

But the truth is right there in front of you, there's no escapin' it. You're a dreamer, and you gotta be true to yourself and make the most of it.

And who knows? Anything could happen. Maybe someday one of those crazy ideas you came up with will finally hit it big.

Me? I'm still waitin'.


If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2017 @ 12:39 pm
Last year had a lot of suckage in it, but I've been dreading 2017 more because that's when we come under the Trump regime. Worried about how this will affect so many people, not to mention the economy, scandals, ugliness, and international shame. Ugh.

Near the end of 2016 and beyond, I finished The Christmas, read stuff, watched stuff, and wrote a few things. So...

Biscotti baking: I make these as Xmas gifts, and I tried a new recipe last year and completely forgot to mark that this was now The One (and also what to do with the required vanilla that is not in any of the steps). The discombobulation continued as I went into the assembly with WAY too much confidence:
* Combined all the dry ingredients! Except, oops, the sugar wasn't supposed to go in there. Crap. Restart.
* Combined all the wet ingredients! Oh, for the love of god—the butter and sugar were supposed to be whipped at length before adding the egg (and unmentioned vanilla). Crap again.
* Okay, barely shape the loaves, because they spread during baking.
* Wait, that was the old recipe. Augh—these are lumpy and weird looking. :(
* Oh, so apparently the pre-baking powdered-sugar finish was not optional. Because these look strange and unprofessional.
* They do, however, taste good despite looking un-fabulous. Well, no worse than the previous recipe, then.

I'm updating the recipe to list the ingredients in a meaningful order, and clearly flag the recipe as "Yes!" and add all the needed steps. In detail. \o?

I read the most recent book in the Harry Bosch series, and just finished Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore. Both excellent. :)

I caught up with most of The Walking Dead, which was less good. My favorite character is dead, and I hate the entire Negan plotline and watching any part of it. Plus, the violence is basically R-rated now, and that's way too much for me. I also caught up with How To Get Away With Murder, in which my favorite character is ALSO dead, and Frank—who used to be a lawyer in a suit and everything—now appears to be re-enacting Sling Blade for reasons unknown. Huh. I would honestly quit the show, except Viola Davis was the only reason I ever started it, and just when I think I might bail on it she pulls out some raw, all-the-stops-amazing performance, and I just can't. Damn my weakness for her talent!

Um... did not manage any Yuletide treats, but finished my story on time, and also an Idol thingy that was past the cutoff because I try to tune all that out during the holidays (too much going on), and had magically transformed the deadline of the 2nd to being the 7th. Hey, they sound similar in my head!

Biking: About one or fewer outside days a week, thanks to the rain, wind, or it being just too freaking cold! *cries* And far too many holiday goodies, so you know that won't end well.

The epic UN-Christmasing of the home awaits now, and our daughter will be flying back to school on Sunday, which we're not eager for, but I know she's ready to be busy again.

So... did you all survive the holidays, and are now vowing All The Things for the new year? It's kind of unavoidable, isn't it?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 January 2017 @ 10:57 pm
Four Drabbles (Home Game)
idol season ten | break week| 4x100 words
Four required prompts: Possum Ran Over My Grave / Jantelagen / Kummerspeck / Sang-froid


Possum Ran Over My Grave

In the eternal shade at the base of an old oak, something runs across the dead leaves and dirt that cover the sins of the past.

There are secrets in that earth, a legacy of betrayal and truth still hard as bone. That story remains untold. Dreams are buried there, too, the dreamer silenced more than five years ago.

All the secrets have the same name.

Margaret Willows is not missing—she never left. But all these years later, only Benjamin Shale knows she is here at the foot of this oak tree where he hid her so long ago.


"He is a good match," her mother said. "A girl your age should be thinking of marriage and starting a family. You could do worse."

Margaret wasn't certain she wanted those things, at least not yet. She longed to become a nurse, and that would take money and years of training. Couldn't finding a husband wait?

"We cannot provide for you forever. No other man has come courting, and there are girls far prettier and less headstrong."

You are difficult, Margaret heard, and knew it to be true.

"Very well," she said.

"I shall give him leave to pursue me."


He was handsome enough, everyone said. They meant, For you.

Margaret knew what was expected.

Wearing her prettiest dresses and brightest smiles, she endeavored to be pleasing. She listened attentively to his every word, and kept the conversation afloat when he grew awkward.

At times, he seemed angry and unhappy. He drank when those black moods came upon him, chasing tumbler after tumbler of whiskey toward the bottom of the bottle.

Could this really be the best choice? When he asked her to marry him, she knew the correct answer was, Yes.

So why did she regret having said it?


It was a mistake—a terrible mistake—but it could not be undone. Nothing left but to make the best of it and continue on.

He hadn't meant… or not quite so hard, but he'd been so angry when he saw her slipping through town with a bag packed for the city instead of marrying him as she'd promised to do.

The earth beneath his spade was harder than Benjamin's heart as he dug the hole deep in the woods where he would lay Margaret to rest.

When he finished, he would leave Abbotsville forever, taking the truth with him.


* A mentality that de-emphasizes individual effort and values behaving as the group does.
** "grief bacon" - excess weight gained from sorrow and/or emotional overeating
*** Cold-bloodedness or cool-headedness.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
29 December 2016 @ 01:19 am
We're up in Oregon visiting my mother, after an 8-hour car ride. HalfshellHusband had to stay behind, as he's only good for 1/2 hour in the car right now before his hip starts hurting. I sure hope that goes away over time.

Yuletide stories were opened up on Christmas, and received two stories this year, both for Battle Creek:

Blue Peter (Milt/Russ, PG-13). This features one of my favorite tropes, "posing as a couple" when the characters aren't even dating. Russ is crabby and injury-prone here (the same bad luck that led to him being kidnapped in a show episode) in a case-fic setting. It makes me miss the show all over again. :D

Nature Of The Game (Milt/Russ pre-slash, PG-13) was a bonus story. It's written from Fontanelle's POV, with terrific characterization that captures Font's good-hearted nature while making it clear that he is not naive. The overheard glimpses of Milt and Russ, and how their relationship altered after the show's final episode, are really well done. What a treat!

In piling through the other Yuletide offerings, I passed a lot of fandoms I had never heard of-- and it's surprising how popular some of them were this year. Yuri on Ice, podcasts, video games, web series. All kinds of stuff.

I'll keep poking through the listings. There are some fandoms I know I'll want to read (two Band of Brothers stories thus far, one a modern AU that surprised me by maintaining the characters really well in an updated setting, and another that started quite well and then mysteriously veered off into the characters having superpowers, which... I don't even know).

But going through the list is also how you find the unexpected, such as A Very Grumbly Day, a Winnie-the-Pooh/Star Wars story in which stormtroopers invade the Hundred Acre Woods. Read it and you'll see THAT clearly needed to happen! \o/

All right, off to bed now that teen-daughter is out of the bathroom. A 45-minute shower after midnight, when two other people need to use that same bathroom... REALLY? *sigh*

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
25 December 2016 @ 11:38 pm
I hope all of you who celebrate Christmas had a wonderful day!

Ours had both kids at home and an entire day of loafing, which was very nice. I'll probably hit a few post-Xmas sales tomorrow, picking up a gift for one of my sisters and some outdoor lights to store for when the current ones die. Maybe I'll write some Christmas cards? I haven't had those ready PRE-Christmas in years.

An outdoor bike ride is unlikely, as it has just been too cold here. It should warm up around Wednesday, which is when we're planning to drive to Oregon to see family. No sign of the snow and ice storms that wreaked such havoc a couple of weeks ago, which is good. *fingers crossed*

I had hoped to write some Yuletide treats before the Christmas deadline, but nothing even got started. :( Maybe next year?

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