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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
27 April 2016 @ 12:20 pm
First, an utterly sweet story about a little girl and her unlikely hero that will melt your heart. :)

Second, since I wanted to vet this for myself: Wherefore Art Thou, LEGO?. It's always fun seeing which LEGO pieces get used (since we have a bazillion sets at home). I did not know there was a LEGO satyr (used here as Puck), though I knew about the LEGO Minotaur (and want one, for... reasons). I recognize Shark Man from the Atlantis set, and the green snake from Hogwart's castle! But why not the small green dragon familiar used by both the Castle/Kingdom and Harry Potter sets?

Also, randomly... there is a Shakespeare LEGO. Who doesn't need one of those? Or a LEGO Neptune or bat monster or lizard man? *koff* Possibly, I like LEGOs even more than my son does. Still sorry his LEGO phase ended before he wanted to buy the Monster series...

And finally, today's Dilbert (4/27/2016, since it will move): fish plus time has to be one of the truest and most wrong views of humanity ever. \o?

All right, it's time to get back to work while pondering Idol ideas in my head (two topics this week—urk!) and hoping against hope that my bike will come back from the shop today. *bites nails*

ETA: OMG, LEGO Yeti! *dies*

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
25 April 2016 @ 02:59 pm
LJ Idol voting closes today, and this week is a "team vs. team" result, where the team not in first place is going to lose one or two members. My team is fantastic, so I'm hoping not to lose anyone. Voting for all team members here would really help, if you're so inclined.

I think Mondays would go better if I weren't staying up late every Sunday trying to get those last few things done before the work-week starts. I usually get about 7 hours of sleep, max, and then there's an early meeting on Tuesday mornings. This may be why Wednesdays always feel like they should be Fridays.

I'm getting caught up on my f-list from late last week. I hope those of you who celebrate Passover had a good time gathering with friends and family. That's much better news than some of the weird political things I've come across over the last 3-4 days.

A main street on my daily work commute has "Road resurfacing" scheduled for the future. Threat or promise? The surface is pretty bad (decaying for years, and sadly I know this because I've bike-commuted on it too, and you get a really good look at the sorry state of pavement when you're biking). OTOH, there were suspicious markings on the pavement last week, and then the massive digging that foretells more sewer construction! That helps nothing. :(

ETA suckage: My bike is in the shop for an overhaul, targeted at going in late yesterday and coming back late today. But HalfshellHusband called to say that when the shop opened the package of replacement shifters, they found two right-side units and no left. Re-ordering. So... no bike until maybe Thursday? ARRRGGHHHH. I'll be running today, on what has become my once-every-two-weeks schedule in an attempt to rebuff the returning plantar fasciitis. *sigh*

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 April 2016 @ 10:02 pm
I'm running behind on reading this week's Idol entries, but hoping to finish tonight.

We were out of town all day yesterday, visiting relatives in the Bay Area. HalfshellHusband seemed to wonder why I kept saying it would BE the whole day. He was expecting about 2 hours of travel time each way—and I've never known it to take less than three. It did not. ;) Still, it was good to see everyone.

Today I slept in a bit, made an emergency trip to Target for usable bandaids (seriously), went biking, and then rat-holed into a bunch of yard work until I was late for dinner. So, I still haven't gotten to the sewing pile or any of the other indoor stuff that's been on my list for weeks and weeks.

I did finish reading Blackfin Sky, and we watched the premiere of The Night Manager. Less Hugh Laurie than I thought there might be for that last one, but we really liked the episode overall. Glanced at the Netflix instant-streaming queue, and there's SO much stuff I would like to watch, but theoretically HSH would too, and there's just no time. I like to imagine it will still happen, somehow. ;) Optimism, or denial?

Today's mystery: My gardening hat was full of... bird's nest. But I wore it last weekend, and I thought I hung it up in the garage. Unless our son planted that in there, did I leave the hat out in the yard over the week and some bird made use of the shape? If so, then who put it back in the garage? No one is admitting to anything just yet.

Not really ready to go back to work tomorrow. Maybe just not in the mood? That's pretty much every Monday, though...

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
22 April 2016 @ 11:58 pm
In a stunning turn of events in our son's ongoing Prom Drama, he is now NOT going to the prom. His early rival for his top prom choice (let's call him the Thwarter) decided to ask the girl our son had invited earlier this week. When the Thwarter discovered the girl had already agreed to go to the prom with our son, he told her she was our son's second choice, and that embarrassed her enough that she said yes to the Thwarter... not knowing she was that kid's third choice. I think she's still unaware, though she's been throwing out lies that make people itch to set the record straight after trying to spare her feelings. So far, they have behaved. But to sum up, D.R.A.M.A. At this point, our son is glad he's not taking her—but geez, what a whirlwind of grief. So glad I'm not a teenager anymore.

So, that was part of the week. I spent the last few days working on my Idol story, which was tough as I was short on sleep. HalfshellHusband's hip is really bothering him, and that keeps both of us awake, plus the bedroom might have been too warm. We're cycling back and forth from summer to winter (near 90 on Monday, 63 today), which could go on for a while yet and makes it hard to stay comfortable. We're hoping to get a little more rain out of the deal. \o?

The other side-effect of all that shifting weather is that it's often windy, just like every spring, which makes it hard to bike outdoors. Today was a garage day again, and this weekend, who knows?

I'm transitioning to a new laptop at work, and migrating stuff over from the old one. The new one seems to have a slightly different version of Windows 7, which is to say, WTF is happening with those tiny fonts on browser tabs and mailboxes? You're dreaming if you think I can read anything that small nowadays.

Speaking of reading... I finished the terrific book of short stories, Word Puppets, and I'm still reading The Swan Thieves. I have also started Blackfin Sky, because I think my bedside book is turning out to be a bust. It seems to be the third in a series of three (not an intentional choice), but the problem isn't feeling like I'm missing too much background or context. It's that whatever is happening now feels like the start of the plot, and nobody in the book knows what the heck is going on. Perversely, this makes it seem as if all three books must be extensions of vague that never quite get off the ground. I could be way off base, but once that feeling starts, the path to bailing out becomes very short. :O

What are all of you up to this weekend? We're going out of town tomorrow, and Sunday will probably be chore packed. But at least the taxes are done! And I say that because I submitted the state ones ON the 15th last week. The whole thing took forever. :(

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
22 April 2016 @ 03:24 pm
Somebody's Hero
idol friends and rivals | week 19 | 1570 words


In the heartless streets of the city, there was a man who devoted himself to keeping his fellow citizens safe. Unlike most, his dedication wasn’t motivated by money or a retirement package. His choice was far nobler.

That man was Barnaby Corbenblatt, and his story was one for the ages.

Barnaby's mother, Mona Corbenblatt: "Hey, can you hurry this thing along already? My TV show's about to start."

Barnaby's mother raised him singlehandedly from the time he was four. "His father just had to keep bettin' on the ponies," Barnaby's uncle Saul Varnak said. "All it got him was a pair of cement shoes and a ticket to the Undersea Ball, if you know what I mean."

Barnaby's mother used to tell her son that his father was upstate, living on a farm. Barnaby thought it must have been a nice one, since the family dog had gone there too.

Barnaby's mother: "Eh, what are you gonna do? He was just a kid, he didn’t need to know."

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Voting info: I am in a team this week, where votes for the team as a whole count. Our poll is here, and all team polls for reading and voting are here.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
19 April 2016 @ 04:10 pm
Prom is a 'go,' for our son and the girl he asked yesterday. Now we just need to impress upon him how important it is that his date have a good time, even if this is in conflict with his Bro Squad's desire to be all ironic iconic and wear pastel tuxes. \o?

When I pulled into our driveway last night, I spotted what looked kind of like a fungus fest—in an area of the yard I'd worked just two days earlier! "Please let that be a stray paper bag," I thought. No—it was a large cluster of toadstools crowding a capped-off former spigot. I removed them, and then put on gloves and went to check for interlopers on the cherry tree. Removed 7 of those. Looks like this will be a nightly thing for a while. I Googled snails on fruit trees later to see if that was an actual thing, and it IS. Now I kind of wish I didn't know that.

There were several recommended solutions (most will not work very well if the snails are already IN the tree). I can tell you that I definitely will not be buying other snails as a means of taking care of the problem. HalfshellHusband would kill me. Plus, that seems like a recipe for different trouble down the road. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
18 April 2016 @ 12:25 pm
Last day for Idol voting this week! Please read and vote! Many thanks. :)

Yesterday's bike ride was suckage. Saturday was tough too, but it was really windy then. Sunday? Less windy, and yet SO tiring. Those early ambitions of, "Hey, let's make up some miles to compensate for earlier this week!" turned to, "Gads, am I going to have to start the warm-down EARLY? Can I hang on another mile? Maybe half a mile?" It wasn't until I was nearly home that I remembered that I sometimes need to slap on a Breathe-Rite during windy Spring days. I don't have allergies, but my perpetually-irritated nose gets much worse in those conditions (so, almost exactly LIKE allergies). First clue: "It feels like there's not enough air out here." \o?

And because I biked in the garage on Friday (windstorm FTW!), I finished S1 of iZombie (which is where Netflix streaming runs out), and saw Episode 6x03 of The Walking Dead (so much hate for the plot outcome of THAT episode. Serious hate).

Books: Still reading The Swan Thieves, but I remembered I had checked out some "New" books (i.e., non-renewable), so I started one of those. Word Puppets is a collection of varied-genre and really satisfying short stories by Mary Robinette Kowal. I could almost think they were the work of lrig_rorrim—they're that good!

Food? I talked to my mother yesterday, who mentioned she'd brought a late birthday cake to my sister's house over Easter. Lemon cake and frosting (actually my Dad's favorite), covered in coconut. YARGH. I hope my sister likes coconut, because Mom used that for "fur" on a cake once, and it ruined the whole cake experience for me. She really likes coconut herself, and that got me thinking about Sno Balls: chocolate cake crumbs molded around 'creme,' covered in marshmallow (a dealbreaker for some people right there), then with pink coconut over all of it. I have to think there are more people who would find part or all of that to be some kind of alien hell, so how do they still exist? :O

All right, back to work. With an eye on the phone and email in case my son has Prom info updates...

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
17 April 2016 @ 11:20 pm
Voting for Idol entries ends tomorrow!. My story is here, and there's a link to all entries at the bottom. Lots of great stories to read, and there will be upcoming seasons or mini-seasons that you might be interested in joining. There are a number of people who participate just as readers, and they are a huge help! Maybe that's the right choice for you?

Okay, talking about Idol probably wasn't a surprise. But I have a few:

First, yesterday's bike ride featured a green pickup truck driving on the bike path at about 30mph. The young woman at the wheel must have made it at least 4 miles before turning around and coming back again, and by then she was aware she wasn't allowed to be driving there. But was still going about 30mph! If that were you, wouldn't you slow down so that you don't compound your error by killing or injuring any of the many people using the path the way it was intended? Unbelievable.

Second... boy, I'm glad HalfshellHusband doesn't read my regular journal. We have a cherry tree in the front yard that had almost no fruit last year, and yesterday I was removing weeds and suckers from the bottom and noticed there were snails all the way up the trunk and into some of the branches. LOTS of them. HSH feels the same way about slugs and snails as I would feel if someone were to find tarantulas in that tree. Gah! I removed about 30 snails from the tree itself, as well as others near the base, and put snail bait around the bottom. Went out to re-check today, and found another 5-6 way the heck up there. Whyyyy?!?

Third, in case you still haven't watched this video yet, Surprised Cockatoo for the win!

And fourth, Hugh Laurie is back on television this week in The Night Manager. \o/ Which I will have to download via Torrent, since AMC doesn't allow recording. So irksome—we pay for that channel! And how often do people watch shows live anymore, especially when one of them goes to bed really early? :(

Prom Update: Our son is asking a different girl tomorrow, since the original girl said she would feel weird picking just one boy when she knew both wanted to ask her. So, I hope this works out for him. And that she doesn't laugh at the poster I drew. My skillz are not what they used to be—but better than our son's. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Eternal Voyage
idol friends and rivals | week 18 | 1230 words


Contratulations! You have won an all-expenses-paid cruise to one of these fine destinations!

Many people think traveling by cruise ship is some kind of luxury vacation. My dad loved cruises—he and my mother seemed to go on three to four of them a year at one point in their retirement.

I think of cruise ships as being more like some kind of floating prison. Yes, you're moving from one port to another, and yes—you can get off the ship once it docks. But in the meantime, you're trapped. If you want to go for a long walk, you'll be doing your four to six miles in the form of 10-20 laps around the deck, depending on the size of the ship. You might as well just set up a hamster wheel in your room. All meals and other events will take place with a gazillion other people because they're trapped on board too.

It doesn't matter whether you actually need to go anywhere. You'll be hit with the random urge to bolt just because you can't. I had a coworker who felt the same way about cruise ships as I do, so it's not just me. Admittedly, I'm not great with car trips either. Yes, you can get out and move around every few hours, but in the end, you still have to get back in that car.

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If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with many other fine entries here.