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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
23 May 2016 @ 11:46 pm
Title: Bon Appetit
Fandom: White Collar
Characters: Mozzie and Neal (Gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: You can always do things the normal way, but where's the fun in that?
Note: I missed the deadline on the 24-turnaround and then some, but this was written for runthecon and the prompt of "Legal crimes."


"What is that monstrosity in your living room?" Mozzie asked.

"God, not this again." Neal shut his apartment door, and placed the sauvignon blanc in the refrigerator to chill. "You were the one who introduced me to Danish modern."

"Yes, as an aesthetic." Mozzie surveyed the half-finished painting on Neal's easel, which appeared to be Portofino. "But you have to eventually sit in chairs. That one is designed to create new customers for chiropractors."

"It's not that bad," Neal said.

"Really? Have you ever spent an evening reading a book in it?"

"Well, no," Neal admitted. He put a green apple on the cutting board. "Brie?"

"Yes, please." Mozzie examined the chair again. "It doesn't even go with the décor."

"I'm willing to give it time." Read more...Collapse )

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Another weekend got away from me, with too little done. Our son had friends over both days for various school projects (only one of which we were at all expecting), so there was mayhem. That tends to frazzle me a little.

I'm trying to keep up the mileage for May is Bike Month. Friday was windy, but better than being in the garage? Sunday wasn't too bad. Yesterday it was windy near my office—as in, I had to do alternate routes that did not involve so much open exposure to crosswinds on roads with heavy traffic. I have a valuable out-and-back stretch of almost 12 miles that has a lot of traffic, but only one light. It's also in a rural farming area, and when the wind picks up, it's often a side-wind through there. The threat of being gusted into traffic (or, alternatively, the ditch) means there are times I can't use that route. Yesterday was a chore, but since today was going to be windier (!), I did it. Forgot that winds also tend to blow grit into my eyes. Ouch.

The S.F. Chronicle had an article last week about the "Immediate Family" work of photographer Sally Mann. I Googled a bunch of her pictures, and thought of bleodswean, somehow. I'm not sure I would have photographed my children naked quite so late in their lives, but for overall pictures from that collection, there is no question to me that some of them—like Blowing Bubbles—are clearly art. That one is breathtaking. It's a such a vivid mini-portrait of childhood, and shows so clearly why sometimes black-and-white photography is the best choice. Wow.

It also makes me miss the days when my kids were much younger, but then... what doesn't? *sniffle*

I read The Raven King, the final book of The Raven Cycle, and really enjoyed it—though I'm sorry the series is over! Good times... Now I'm reading Kareem Abdul Jabbar's Mycroft Holmes, since HalfshellHusband borrowed it from the library and was finished with it. I'm about 2/3 of the way through.

We watched the premiere of Houdini and Doyle last night. I love Michael Weston, but he is horribly miscast in that. SO modern and slangy-sounding. The modern background music is an abomination (I really dislike the anachronism of that, and it is becoming increasingly common), but we liked the casting of Doyle and of Constable Stratton very much. So, we'll see how it goes.

We're getting caught up on The Blacklist, too. Aram, how I adore you!

Annnnd, I hope the week picks up. Yesterday morning, I arrived at work with an email inbox full of various "fires" and an IM from my daughter that the fan on her laptop had stopped working. This is after the dead power cord and dying battery. Can it please just hang on until after her finals are done? Gah!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
11 May 2016 @ 11:12 am
I worked at home Monday (due to surprise!Daughter visit), so I'm a little "off" in my sense of what day it is. Mostly important as it relates to regular and new office meetings—wait, that's TODAY? :O

I got voted out of Idol this week, which was disappointing, but I really appreciate all the support and reading and votes from all of you during the journey. I have no Facebook presence, and my f-list isn't very active, so making it into the Top Ten is a challenge! :)

Our son enjoyed Prom, I guess? He went out to dinner with a group of friends, hung out with said friends during the event itself (but did not dance with anyone—I think he worked up the courage near the end to approach the girl he'd originally wanted to ask to Prom, but some other boy swooped in first and that was it). Afterward, the boys played video games all night at one of their houses (this is actually a regular thing for them). I think he had fun overall, and going (which falls into Trying New Things, which he's been reluctant to do since about age 6) was an event all by itself. Also, he had crab sushi for dinner, which was totally new for him. Any sushi. He learned a lesson about asking random girls to Prom, though—for the two boys who had dates, the girls sat on the other side of the table at dinner and then ran off and abandoned the boys entirely once they got to the Prom venue. That's really rude. The girls should have said "No" when asked, if they didn't really want to go with those particular guys.

We finally saw the Sleepy Hollow finale, and there was much hatred. Arghhhh. We'll be taking that off our viewing list next year. Also Grimm, which has become torturous in terms of some of the plot choices. Fan-service ran amok on that show, and was thwarted on Sleep Hollow. I'd like to reverse those results, please!

I got a recommendation from a Dreamwidth friend to try Dick Barton, Secret Agent for my drive to San Diego, and one for Lore from a friend here. I think this will force me to grapple with iTunes and get it working on my PC (it has reached the suicidal stage on HalfshellHusband's Windows XP computer, which previously managed our library and playlists). A comment thread on the previous entry shows exactly how I feel about iTunes. Ugh.

Biking today! Yesterday was a rest day, but overall I'm trying to get the mileage up for May Is Bike Month. My 400-mile goal may be too optimistic for this year (it was based on last year, when I was doing slightly longer rides), BUT... I may as well try!

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
09 May 2016 @ 03:15 pm
Just a note: today is the last day to vote for this week's round of LJ Idol. My story is here, and all stories can be found on this page. We're in the Top 10, so every vote counts. Please take a moment to read and vote, if you can. Many thanks!

So, whatever I thought my plans for the weekend might have been, they got shifted by surprise!Daughter visit about half an hour after my last post. :O

There was a possibility of her needing to fly up here for an internship interview, but she was hoping to do that via Skype. I hadn't heard any updates, and then suddenly she was walking in through the back door! What a great Mother's Day present. She has her interview at 3:00 this afternoon, and then is going right to the airport for her flight home. She and I went out to dinner on Saturday night (HalfshellHusband had been out for lunch the day before, which is about all his sodium limitations can take, and The Boy was at the prom). Sunday was similar. She has a LOT of reading to do for schoolwork (about 100 pages a week for History, and she's in 3 other classes that require reading), and there was the comatose sleeping thing. Our son was up all night playing video games with his friends after prom, then he came home around 12:30, then slept, then realized he had taken the wrong rental tux jacket from the friend's house (after I warned him to reassemble it as soon as he took it off), then ran errands, then had an unplanned nap. So, I kind of waited around all day to see if anyone was available, and it was 4:00 when our daughter decided she wanted to go to a coffee shop. I.e., a low-key day, biked in the garage again afterward, and there was too much eating all weekend. But a great visit, and we got to talk a lot. She'll be home in about 4 weeks. :)

Speaking of that... I'll be driving down to San Diego alone to pick her up, and remembering the trip back from taking her there, I will need to make sure that 1) There is No-Doz in the car, and 2) I have some hardcore audio entertainment. I'm not really an audio-books person, but that's probably what it will take. It would be nice to have something where I don't have to keep adding/removing CDs, which I don't want to do while driving through the Central Valley Expanse O' Nothingness. OTOH, my iPod Nano's batteries only seem to last so long. Not sure it will charge off the car battery—it ignores our regular power charger. But save me from the ZZZZzzzzzs! Even slapping myself in the face doesn't always keep me awake, which is pathetic.

So, any recommendations?

ETA: It's... caterpillar season on the bike path. I am become Death, destroyer of worlds worms**.

**Not intentionally, but still... Hey, at least I managed not to run over that baby snake last week! \o?

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
07 May 2016 @ 02:04 pm
I'm really pleased with this week's Idol entry, which was fun to write and I hope others will find gloriously weird! Writing that was time well spent this week. :)

I've turned over some books in the last week, too. I finished The Swan Thieves, which was good if a bit long. I kind of hated all the characters by the end, but still, a good read. I started Finn Fancy Necromancy as my bedside book, because the other one wasn't grabbing me... though it's still there, for when I'm done. I had The Ballad of Black Tom on hold, and it arrived, so I read that. It was a novella, so it went pretty quick. This is a Jazz-Age story supernatural story, written by a black author, and it was mentioned on a web page I stumbled over about a month ago. Good period details, including that era's fascination with mysticism. Then, I went into my stash of "Read-and-Return" library books (you can just keep them until you finish them), and began The Returned.

I brought that book home perhaps 8 months ago or more, but then the TV show started up and I was afraid to read the book in case the show was based on it and the plot would be spoiled. It IS the inspiration for the show, though I think they only used the basic concept of the setup rather than the plot itself. The Returned are people who have been dead-—maybe even for decades—but then reappear, alive and well and with no idea they had died. Their friends and families sometimes feel blessed to have them back, though some are disturbed by it. People who have had no one Return to them are divided into those who aren't worried, those who are fearful and angry, and those who grieve that whoever they loved and lost wasn't one of the lucky ones to come back. The show was a little eerie, while the book is more soulful. This is also by a black author, Jason Mott. It's his first novel, in a rare genre for black authors (the book above not withstanding), and it got TV-optioned. I'd say he hit a home run with that one. \o/

I'm almost done with it (I started it 2-3 days ago, I think?) and then I will be rat-holing down The Raven King, the last of the Raven Cycle series, since my hold came through on that book too! Can't wait. :D

This weekend will also include more garage-biking (rainy yesterday and today), maybe an outside trip tomorrow? Our son won't be back from Prom doings until almost noon, which kind of sucks (apparently, a lot of the kids were not happy about that scheduling choice of Mother's Day weekend), but we'll probably do something.

I'd like to imagine I will finally get through all of his discarded stuffed animals and sort them for keep, sell, or donate (and to which place), but that seems unlikely. It's already 2:00 today! That whole task is made worse by the fact that I know those creature's names, and some of them he's had since he was very small. And now, they're on the playroom floor, like old newspapers. *sniffle*

So, Moms and children of moms, any plans for tomorrow?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Important Announcements
idol friends and rivals | week 21 | 780 words
Helpful information


Multiworld Media presents "Don't Touch That Button!"

Are you trapped on a long journey between colonies, wondering just whose idea the whole thing was? Or maybe you've just woken from cryosleep, and your unsettled state has you feeling like you need to take some kind sort of decisive action. We've all been there!

But the Galactic Inter-Agency Council wants you to know that pushing random buttons is not the answer. You don't know what those buttons do, and you don't know where they've been. So hands off and go about your business, or you'll be sorry.

This message is brought to you by Parseconol: Cut the distance before it cuts you!

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Space Worms: Are They Safe?"

Whether they're lurking on the nearest planet or eating their way through the hull of your starship, space worms are everywhere. Should you be concerned?

These tiny creatures can be extremely destructive. While there are no known incidents of them attacking other living species, scientist nevertheless warn about touching them without barrier protection, such as tendril sleeves or gloves. Watch what you eat and where you breathe—those worms are sneaky.

Multiworld Media: We're here to help!

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Slavers: Friend or Foe?"

If you've ever wondered whether those Inter-Galactic Slavers are there to help you, the answer is "No." They'll have you chained in a hold and on your way to a life of wretched servitude before you know it. So, the next time you're in a bar drinking your favorite Aldebaran ale and devious-looking creature asks you if you'd like a tour of its ship, just say, "No thanks!"

This message is brought to you by The Deneb V Mafia: We know where you live.

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Interdimensional Commerce"

Whether you're shopping for a new planet-hopper, selling off your bio-dome, or just looking for a good price on a vacation, the Council for Stable Currency reminds you to verify the beta-signature on all financial transactions.

Buying and selling across different dimensions is strictly prohibited, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're probably not from your timeline or vector.

This message is brought to you by Evil Overlords, Incorporated: You won't like us when we're angry.

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Register Your Offspring"

If you've spawned, calved, or otherwise given birth in the last orbit cycle, don't forget to notify the authorities on your space vessel, planet, asteroid, or moon. Failure to register may result in fines and the possibility of starvation.

Remember, if your children don't exist, no one has to feed then. So, sign them up before it's too late!

This message is courtesy of A-One Antimatter: We'll get you there.

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Is Your Planet Doomed?"

Nothing lasts forever, and that includes your planet. Have you been wondering whether yours is about to collapse or explode or simply become inhabitable overnight? Of course—who hasn't?

The Altairian Actuarial Cooperative is there to answer all those questions you were afraid to ask. Contact their offices to find out whether you can plant that garden you've been dreaming about, or whether it's time to pack your ready-rocket and bolt before your planet bites the big one.

Multiworld Media: We know what's on your mind.

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Is Your Robot Trying To Kill You?

Are you afraid to fall asleep in your own home? Do you suspect the family servo-drone is just waiting for the opportunity to pull your plug? The Intelligent Apparatus Association offers this reassuring message: you are not alone.

Thousands of traditional life forms have weighed these same issues, and very few of them were murdered by their own automatons. So don't worry, you're probably safe! But just in case, remember that an angry robot can be lethal.

This message is provided by Rigellian Mining Industries: Building a toxic today for a more powerful tomorrow!

~~ MM ~~

Multiworld Media presents "Death: You're Doing It Wrong"

Are you old or decrepit—or possibly both? If so, then this message may be too late for you. But if not, the Omega Organization encourages you to plan your non-existence early.

Why wait until you're too far gone to take action, and are consuming precious resources your grandchildren may someday need to survive? Why take the chance on your body failing apart while you're still using it? The Omega Organization is ready to assist you in making your choice. Ask for a free brochure on "Engineering Your Exit."

This message is brought to you by Blubber Gleam: When your own natural secretions just aren't enough.

Multiworld Media: We're the voice inside your head!


If you enjoyed this story, you can vote for it along with other fine entries here.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
... Drop All The Things Day. Seriously, I whacked my pill container off my desk twice yesterday, spilling pills and vitamins all over the floor of my cubicle (it's not an official container, it's a small metal breath-mint tin, for reasons of size and flatness). Getting ready to go biking was kind of a flail-fest of drop-related incompetence. Makes you look at your hands and wonder, "Are these things hooked up?"

So, Ted Cruz dropped out of the race, which leaves only Trump on the Republican ticket. Scary for the country, maybe helpful for Hillary supporters? Still, what a risk. :(

That does not, however, keep me from needing to share this Cruz/Fiorina gif with you. It's like two snakes wrestling with their hatred for each other and trying to present an image of unity. And by that, I also mean their hands. ;)

There's another, that relates to Cruz saying he wants to spend more time with his children. Genius. :O

Oh, remember my mentioning the potential street resurfacing along my work commute? The street HAS been resurfaced, but I keep coming across spots where workers are jackhammering through the new pavement. WTH is that all about?

Our son rented his tux for the Prom (he'll be going with his friends), which cost over $200 with a coupon. Criminy! OTOH, one of the girls at his school listed her expenses, which included $200 for makeup. What planet IS this? I would expect to do my own makeup. I mean, how complicated does it need to be? Is she going as an alien or a hobbit or something? :O

What's happening on your Wednesday?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
02 May 2016 @ 10:26 pm
... for various things over the past few weeks.

  • The Hat: No one has admitted to knowing anything about the bird's nest in my gardening hat. It seems like something our son might do, but he says not. HOW could that have gotten in there? There is still nest debris on the garage workbench that I need to clean up.

  • The Cherry Tree: Man oh man, still removing snails from that thing. The rate has slowed down, but it's still 1-7 snails every time I check. Why aren't they eating the bait around the base of the tree? I'm hoping the warmer weather will slow them down: Eh. I don't have the slime in me for a journey that far today.

  • N00bness: Yesterday was windy, and the bike ride was tough—I had to start warming down a mile early. But this morning, I pumped up the tires in preparation for taking the bike to work. They were at around 40 PSI! They should be closer to 115 PSI. No wonder the back tire felt so squirrelly yesterday. What was I thinking, trusting the bike shop to fully (or even mostly) inflate the tires?

  • Today's bike ride was slightly better. Still windy. The Tour de Roadkill included a blue jay (*sad face*) and a dismembered remnant of an artificial Christmas tree. With lights. \o?

    This evening, we watched an episode of The Daily Show. If you saw the bizarre spectacle of Carly Fiorina singing to Ted Cruz's children during a political rally, then you'll understand why this horror-film-style 'trailer' of Cruz's campaign is perfect. That was followed by Black Trump Rap, a rap song assembled from actual Trump quotes and his overall media image. First episode of the new TDS that has reduced me to helpless laughter. I hope there will be more. :D

    And now... time to throw writing ideas around for prompts and see if anything clicks.

    The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
    01 May 2016 @ 11:47 pm
    Last week was kind of a blur, thanks to having to write not one but two Idol entries--from not-great prompts. I was up late Thursday finishing the first drafts of both stories, and had to drive in to the office on Friday. I got about 6 1/2 hours of sleep, so by the time the alarm clock woke me, it was on the "flail" setting.

    There was also the horrible absence of my bike all week. It was supposed to be back last Monday... then Weds/ Thursday... and I finally got it back today. The result was not quite what I expected. It has new shifters, and while I knew it would be a different manufacturer than for the original shifters/brake-hood assembly, I did not expect a different "system" of shifting. Read more...Collapse )

    Cats: I saw this set of pictures last week that any cat-lover will understand. Picture #1... we've had several cats in that category. And once a cat becomes convinced (for whatever reason) that certain unusual water habits are necessary, you will never persuade it otherwise. Of the cats my husband and I have had, we're 3 for 5 on "water issues":

    Cat #1: She liked to put her paw in the water and fish around like she was testing for alligators. Then drink off of her paw. Annoying enough inside the house, but outside? She was not the only cat. We would put down fresh water, and she would immediately stick her foot in it and make it filthy for everyone. Ugh.

    Cat #2 and #3: No issues. Water is lovely! If I need more, I'll just wait here by the bowl until you notice me.

    Cat #4 (The Whale): Moving water is the best water! Always! The first inkling of this was that I used to find the watering can on its side, leaking water all over the breeze way. That was because The Whale would stick his head in it and pull it over, so the water would spill out. He used to haunt The Boy in the bathroom, hoping for the bathtub tap to be turned on. The Boy is kind of a sucker, so it was a good bet. In later years, The Whale flipped over the indoor water dish so many times that I finally got him a heavy metal dog bowl with slanted sides. Unflippable! And geez, I can't believe I had to resort to that.

    Cat #5 (current kitty): She didn't have any real issues until we started collecting the shower warm-up water in buckets, to use in the garden or pool. Now, the bathroom has been transformed into Bucketworld. She's always hoping someone will go in there with her to tilt a bucket so she can drink out of it. Flirt with the bucket, flirt, flirt! So the humans will get a clue! If you don't tilt the bucket, or the water isn't quite high enough, she'll try to drink it anyway. To the point where sometimes she's choking herself on the bucket rim, but to her, it is imperative that she drink THAT water NOW. Even though Bucketworld didn't exist a year ago...

    Tomorrow: Is Monday again, and I sure hope this week is lower on the mayhem factor than the last several weeks. Yark.