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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
25 October 2016 @ 12:11 pm
You know, I did not realize that Election Day was Nov. 1. I'm so used to it being around the 7th/8th that I forgot about the Monday Halloween implications. Nuts. Now I really need to dig into that voter's pamphlet and read up on the ballot initiatives. :O (Redacted, because Destina reminded me that it's the second Tuesday in November, not the first, despite what I just read online somewhere! Panic abated. For now)

Sunday night, I stumbled across some Bad Lip-Reading video renderings of the first two Presidential debates. I'd seen some of the NFL and college football videos before, where field and sideline comments are remade into things like, "Canadian watermelon boot," and other equally bizarre phrases. The weirdness of Debate #1 as Debate Night! is terrific, but Debate #2 as Presidential Poetry Slam is utter genius. It's the power of misdirection, where with the overlaid words and subtitles, you think, How is he NOT saying 'It was not good in my garden'? It looks exactly like that! The randomness of the 'reinterpretation' works especially well in a poetry slam context—that might as well be what those phrases are. Awesome. :D

During my weekend visiting up North, I learned something I hadn't known before. Apparently, my pathological hatred of grocery shopping is shared by my two sisters and mother. I already knew my mother didn't like to shop—for much of anything—and I'm pretty much the same. But those two sisters? That was news, and the incredible dislike of the grocery store was even more surprising. I thought I was the only one with that issue. For most of our marriage, HalfshellHusband has been the grocery shopper while I did the laundry, because each of us hates the other chore. It turns out that of the four of the women at that gathering, we are all pretty okay with hardware stores (except that Home Depot can be pretty overwhelming), and I also like antique stores for window-shopping. But apart from that? Oh hell, no!

My younger sister also has the 2- to 3- errand limit that I do, which I always thought was a result of my impatience and blood sugar problems. No, apparently it's just that there's a maximum amount of enforced "chore obnoxion" we're willing to tolerate. Once in awhile, I might make it to 4 errands, but that's pretty rare. As you can imagine, I dread Christmas shopping. It combines both the hatred of shopping and of multiple-location errands, AND it throws in repetitive music for the ultimate torture. Ugh. /o\

Things have been busy the past few weeks, with the pre-travel preparations (i.e., the right wedding clothes), doing my healthcare reimbursement paperwork in preparation for next year's estimates, and baking and packaging pity-cookies for our daughter last night. I got Halloween lights up outside on Sunday afternoon, but nothing for the inside yet. Travel really takes a toll on your "getting things done" time. :O

So, we've started watching Band of Brothers. I did not realize that Damien Lewis used to be good-looking, which is pretty rare for red-haired men (in my book). Meanwhile, on The Blacklist, Mike has bleached most of the red out of his hair and Samar has added a bunch to hers. This kind of cross-season disturbance in continuity is always a jolt for me. Elizabeth's weight-loss seems less weird, since the character had a baby just as the actress did, so even the 40-50 pound drop-off is kind of expected. But red hair that becomes sandy blond in a male character? Not so much.

Alright, work beckons. And later, the garage! Because the wind and rain are back again, impinging on my outdoor bicycling... :(

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 October 2016 @ 12:01 am
Thanks, everyone who sent me birthday wishes and v-gifts last week! It was a nice, fairly low-key birthday, one of the few I've had in Sacramento that really felt as if it was taking place in the Fall instead of Summer. 63 degrees with sunny skies, instead of 85-95 degrees!

The birthday was Wednesday, and then Friday I flew off for my niece's wedding and just returned today. Tomorrow, I go back to work again-- it's been pretty hectic, lately.

The trip included a stop at a year-round Halloween store called Ghoul Gallery. I thought of bleodswean as I looked over the ghostly hearses out front and the Halloween clocks inside. The store has costumes and decorations, with themes ranging from The Nightmare Before Christmas to the more traditional Frankenstein-type stuff. There were some driveable coffins out on the street, both of them soap-box derby-sized vehicles that might or might not have been remote-controlled. What a neat place!

I'm afraid I'm overdue for bed, and barely staying awake to write this, so I'd better sign off. Hope you had a good weekend!

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
18 October 2016 @ 04:42 pm
Looks like my family in Portland and Eugene made it through the weekend's major storm without any serious damage. I hope you peeps living in the Northwest fared similarly well. Yikes.

Way back in the last century, I was due to be born on the first anniversary of the Columbus Day Storm. That didn't actually happen (and I was taken out via Caesarean a week later), but I heard about that storm a LOT while growing up. There were horrific winds that knocked down trees and fences and shattered windows. For years afterward, my parents made us sleep in the middle of the house when a major storm came through. It was a long time before their paranoia dropped off.

I used to think that "the Columbus Day Storm" was my mother's personal label for that memorable event, but I Googled it a few years ago and found an entire Wikipedia article on it. That storm was basically an inland hurricane that caused damage from Northern California to British Columbia, with the bulk of the destruction in Oregon. Collapsed buildings, flattened forests, and power outages that lasted weeks. There was a gust measured at 127mph in the Willamette Valley. Holy cow!

This past weekend's storm didn't even come close, thank goodness-- and the 130mph winds predicted for parts of the coast never happened. But it got me thinking back to that particular specter of my childhood, the storm that became legend.

And for those of you who live in places other than Northern California, Oregon, and I assume Washington, we have other traditional local precautions you may not be familiar with. They start with "Never turn your back on the ocean."

And we mean it. :O

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
14 October 2016 @ 12:25 am
...involved rescuing a lizard I found in the bike storage area at the office. The little creature was on the floor, perhaps having wandered in from a hole in the exit door. I tried to persuade a coworker to take it outside, but it was too fast for him, and the guy theorized the lizard had gotten inside via that door hole, and would leave the same way. After my bike ride, the lizard was still in the corner it had boxed itself into. Hours later, as I was going home... still there. I trapped it with a stiff piece of paper and a plastic cup, and carried it outside. I never knew lizards used "playing dead" as a defense mechanism. For awhile there, I thought I was too late. :O

Remember my comments on Monday's post about the Yuletide pinch-hit list and obscure requests? Several entries were sent out within hours of the assignments—I forgot that sometimes there are requests that find no matches. The mods try to safeguard against that as much as possible. Fandoms have to have multiple nominations before they qualify for a round, though it maybe that there are more people wanting to stories for a fandom than feel they can write for it. I suspect people sometimes corral their friends into reinforcing nominations, but that works against you if no true participants offer to write for it. The rules also limit you to one story request per fandom, though some people try to get around that by nominating the same fandom in different forms—e.g., the novel and the TV-series versions of something, or two different movies in the same overall franchise. This can backfire, though—your request that looks like three fandoms is really two, possibly leaving you unmatched or leaving your assigned writer very few options. This year, someone made five requests for Olympics RPF, wherein different sports were each treated as a "fandom." It's obvious they really, really want to read Olympics RPF, but RPF is a hard sell for a lot of writers, and what if nobody wants to write that? Any of it?

Those ploys increase the chance you might get a story that isn't very good, or very true to the characters, and it's less likely to be something a writer feels passionate about writing. Where is the appeal in that?

In other fandom news... I would have loved a second season for Limitless (and why waste that cast?), but it's not looking good. For new shows, we're watching Designated Survivor, and saw the premiere of Timeless. I doubt many people reacted to Timeless the way I did: "Lem is back on TV! Oh, Lem, how I've missed you." I've seen the actor in a few things after Better Off Ted (and am always newly surprised by the lack of glasses), but never in a part this big or consistent. Then there's The Blacklist, in which Mr. Kaplan's fate torments me. They did a nice job this season of showing the character's softer emotions in addition to her bad-assery. I just like how atypical that casting is for a "cleaner," and that she's extremely good at it.

As for actual life, I managed some good biking over the last week, which will have to sustain me through the next several rainy days. I'll be watching more of Chuck, Season One for my garage-biking. I haven't been able to stream Netflix out there since we got a replacement router from the cable company a few months ago. The signal just isn't strong enough.

What I'm really dreading, and can't put off too much longer, is cracking open the novella that constitutes this year's California voter's pamphlet. In addition to the various positions up for election, there are 17 initiatives on the November ballot—several of them either overlapping or partial/full reversals of past initiatives. Gah...

Criminy, there's that gnawing up in the ceiling again. Why oh why is our current cat such a lousy mouser?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
10 October 2016 @ 05:46 pm
There was a coyote in the company parking lot when I came back from a bike ride last week. That was a first, though maybe it'll cut down on the wild turkey population. \o?

In the mail last week, we received yet another letter to the State Corrections Dept., which has the same street number and city as our house, but NOT the same street name or zip code. For the love of automatic mail-sorting machines, WHY? This must be about the tenth one of these I personally have pulled out of the mailbox in the 17 years we've lived at this house. Some of them are letters to the parole board, written in spidery hand. I don't know whether those are elderly people pleading for their aging criminal spouses to be released, or a crime victim's loved ones wanting to make sure the perpetrator does not get out early.

HalfshellHusband watched the second debate last night, but I didn't. Trump just makes my blood pressure go up, with the ugliness and the endless lies. For HSH, though, the debates are civic interest as well as fodder for the bonding experience of communing afterward with our daughter, the politics junkie. Fair enough. ;)

I finished my Yuletide signup in before the deadline yesterday. \o/ I continue to be amazed at some of the things people nominate, such as commercials and music videos. I can't imagine being so smitten with something that short that I would think someone could write me 1,000-word story about it. (Except for Mayhem, because I totally requested him as a fandom one year, since others have). So many obscure fandoms, and it seems like the proportion of them grows higher every year. (Or I'm just a dinosaur, which is equally possible). There are also things like Japanese anime/manga and German TV shows, which I DO understand the passion for… except that if you specify ONLY those fandoms, your request will probably float up in the pinch-hit list in December, possibly multiple times. :(

I thought I might make a request or offer for Justified, but it inexplicably got nominated without Boyd Crowder as one of the available characters. I foresee Raylan getting a lot of het action with the various female characters this Yuletide, but I won't be writing or reading that. I do have my assignment, though—fastest matching yet! Wow. Better get cracking, since I haven't been doing much writing as of late. Especially completed stories, as opposed to things that start but don't finish. I did sign up for mini_wrimo after several years off, so that should help!

Sorry I've been so absentee these last few weeks. I've been reading journal entries, but not posting much. I was buried in a work assignment I couldn't make headway on for about 7 weeks, which was dispiriting. Also… you know, Fall used to be my favorite season and maybe it still is. But it's hard not to associate it now with our daughter going off to college, and next year that will be our son, too. So, I'm feeling kind of blue about that. It's not as bad as last year, but the ache is still there.

On a happier note, though... first October post means I finally get to use my Halloween icon again!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
25 September 2016 @ 11:38 pm
The first Presidential debate comes up tomorrow night, and I hope it's more straightforward than Matt Lauer's ridiculous stab at interviewing the candidates.

HalfshellHusband found an article on sexism in debating that talks about the problems and double-standards women face in that arena. He forwarded it to our daughter, who participated in Mock Trial events all four years of high school, and many of the issues described in that piece were all-too-familiar. She regularly encountered the fine line between "assertive" and the perception of being strident, nagging, or bitchy that women face. The comments on hair and clothes happened, too—usually from female judges (the ways in which women impose sexism on other women never fails to anger me).

A lot of this comes down to the filter applied to men's behavior and women's behavior, where the same behavior is "strong" or "admirable" in a man and "overbearing" or "obnoxious" in a woman. Give me strength...

On a happier note, here's something I meant to post on Friday before I got distracted by The Akinator. Our son's birthday cake:


Again, this isn't one of my super-fancy cakes, but it was more of a challenge than some because 1) it would not leave the pan (there's a lot of hidden frosting-based spackle work going on under the surface), and 2) making lines with frosting is of the devil. It belatedly occurred to me that I might be able to use sliced fondant frosting for that, but at the time, the only alternative that came to mind was black licorice whips—which contaminate the flavor of the frosting, so once was enough (the train tracks for a Thomas-the-Tank-Engine-themed cake, from years ago). Bleh.

All right, I need to get ready for bed, because I have an early meeting tomorrow morning. Followed a little later by a meeting, and immediately after that, yet another meeting. It's the reality of that Dilbert cartoon that goes, "I'll need hourly status reports as to why you're so far behind." Management. \o?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
24 September 2016 @ 01:00 am
I drove back home from San Diego last Sunday, which took a mere 7 1/2 hours as opposed to the 10 hours it took to get there. Whew. Not as emotionally hard as last year, but still not easy either. This time, at least, our daughter has friends there (one of whom will be a roommate again this year), and was excited to be going back, so it was pretty nice for her. Not so much the parents. ;)

I've finished a few books since the last update. Today, Noah's Compass (Ann Tyler), which was not anywhere near as good as her A Spool Of Blue Thread (I read that one a couple of weeks ago). While I was up in Oregon, I went to St. Vincent's with my Mom (she likes to prowl the used books there), and recommended Tyler's Back When We Were Grownups, as I thought she'd like it. She was up until 2 am, finishing it that same day, so that was a "yes." Rich characters, not always quite what you might expect, and they can both surprise and frustrate you in ways that feel real and true. "Noah's Compass" was far less substantial.

I also read Joe Hill's The Fireman. I enjoyed it for the most part—neat premise, interesting characters, hard to put down. I was a little puzzled as to the book's title, since the Fireman is not the book's main character (or even the center of its story). Most of all, I was a little jarred that the main female character underwent a personality shift about 3/4 of the way through the story. She started bantering wittily and talking like "one of the guys," which didn't smoothly evolve from who she was before. It was as if the character grew too far too fast—and I didn't buy it. Too bad, as I like Hill overall and this was a good book. Not NOS4ATU good, but few things will be!

In other news, our daughter's car got rear-ended on the freeway shortly before she left. The driver of the car behind her was probably texting, and hadn't noticed that the traffic ahead had slowed. Mercifully, our daughter is fine, but I think her car is going to be totaled as a result, and that is SUCH a pain. You have a perfectly good, working vehicle, and then someone runs into it, and the money you get for it is never enough to truly replace the vehicle you lost. Ugh.

Also featured in the HalfshellHousehold right now: skittering. And gnawing. Some of that is those squirrels on the roof, but I think we have mice or rats in between the floors again. Yuuuuck. Last time, the exterminator was useless and our problem was solved when we put The Whale out at night to earn his keep. Our current kitty, though, is worthless as a mouser. I think all of that is in the realm of "Huh?" for her. So now what?

Say, did anyone check out that frog vine from a few weeks ago? Do eet! And take a crack at The Akinator too, who has correctly guessed some things that truly impressed me. Sometimes, it even rubs in the fact that it has beaten you, with questions like, "Does your character advertise for insurance?" followed by "Does your character have a surprisingly deep, velvety voice?" when you have Dennis Haysbert's Allstate Insurance guy in mind. It got Patrocles in about 11-13 questions, and Ulysses S. Grant even faster. OTOH, I stumped it with Dylan Thomas and a camel. Not at the same time.

Happy weekend, everyone!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
17 September 2016 @ 11:45 pm
I'm in San Diego tonight, having installed our daughter at UCSD for her sophomore year. She's unpacked and settled in, and tomorrow I make the return trip on my own. Not quite as heartbreaking as last year (that was awful), but just as physically draining. We took the 4-Runner this time, because much as I hate to waste the gas, driving that distance alone in the Prius is a formula for disaster. By which I mean, severe leg and back pain. :O

My trip up to Oregon was very nice. I spent time with both sisters in Portland, then saw my mother in Eugene. She's doing well. She has some aches and pains that surprise her at times (her back and one hip sometimes mutiny for a few hours or even the day). But she can still get around, and is able to take care of herself and has friends she enjoys nearby. At age 90, all of that is really good news. :)

I returned home mid-week before Labor Day, and apart from some general relaxing, I also did some massive cleaning out of the art cupboards in the kitchen. Five bags of stuff for Goodwill! Some day, we hope to fit our random appliances and overflow Tupperware in those cupboards. It was hard to let go of some of those things, though-- the pretty/cute/fun paper and pictures saved for collages, the various art sets. It brought back a lot of memories of our daughter's childhood. I had a bunch of nifty parallel stuff saved for our son, too, in case he wanted to join in the activities. His got almost no use, as art is the antithesis of his "thing". I still think his "handedness" confusion might have something to do with that.

I read a lot of books, including A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler (I enjoyed that one a lot), and I'm almost finished with Joe Hill's The Fireman. Another Tyler book and Sue Grafton's X are next in line, unless my "Hold" book comes up at the library. I cannot even remember what it was, but I'll be happy to see it when the time comes. ;)

Moviewise, we watched My Name Is Doris, which was a terrific role for Sally Fields and entertaining overall. Some parts were hard to watch. I kept hoping her obsession would find a more appropriate target, and the character's fashion sense was jolting. A new scene would begin, and Doris would appear in some "Ow, my eyes! Oh my god, make it stop! outfit that was well past "fun" and into "deranged."

After the big drive down to San Diego yesterday (ten freakin' hours!), our daughter and I had dinner and then went to see Bridget Jones' Baby. THAT was fun. I mostly did not hate Patrick Dempsey in it, which is saying something. There were cringeworthy moments in it as well, because that's the nature of Bridget Jones' character. But still, well worth it.

Work... ugh. SO hard to make progress, and I'm sure my manager is as frustrated as I am. I hate this project, and its ridiculous number of quagmires and hurdles.

So, how are things with the f-list? Happy that fall is here, or were there summer things you'd hoped to get to and didn't?

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
21 August 2016 @ 11:20 pm
Seriously, NBC, a whole half-hour interview? Who even wants to see that?

Expecting reason from TV Journalism these days is like trying to walk your dog past the remains of a dead squirrel:

You: Leave it!
Media/Dog: *drops down and rolls in the mess* *comes to you for pets*

It's the tail end of a busy weekend here—11 pm, and I'm still winding up chores before work tomorrow. It was our son's birthday (our daughter's was a week ago), so there was a lot of time devoted to cleaning and shopping and cake-decorating. I'll need a back pill tonight—I feel as if I've been standing up all day, which is not far from the truth. And next weekend I'll be in Oregon visiting family, so the push to get things settled beforehand at home and work is pretty intense.

But for now, courtesy of our son, I leave you with the kind of thing I probably shouldn't laugh at, but can't help myself. Our son says this is how his interactions with the cat sometimes feel: Boy, knock that off!

And let me just say, for the record... fully justified. ;)