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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 January 2020 @ 10:49 am


Prison Break Fanfiction
I write primarily non-shipper general fiction, and some Lincoln/Michael slash pieces as well. Yes, I know they’re brothers… and no, I normally wouldn’t be writing brothercest. That said, if it’s not your thing then please stick to the General Fiction section.

                  Prison Break Gen Fiction                      Prison Break Slash Fiction

Supernatural Fanfiction
Supernatural also deals with two brothers, who in this case are bound together in the pursuit of demons and vengeance. An excellent overview of this show and its characters can be found here.
                  Supernatural Gen Fiction                      Supernatural Slash Fiction

Other Fanfiction: Iron Man, Die Hard 4, Chuck, White Collar, Burn Notice, Reaper, and more

Original Fiction and Non-Fiction Stories: Miscellaneous Original Fiction // Real LJ Idol Season 8 // LJ Idol Exhibit A // LJ Idol Exhibit B // LJ Idol Season 9

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
"I have a sea shanty stuck in my head."

Thank you, League of Legends. Apparently, it's a pretty good shanty too—another thing I never thought I'd hear him say! This is probably better than one of his recent Minecraft stories: apparently, the villagers in that game don't so much talk as just say, "Hurrrr... hurrrr..." My son and his friend came back to their hut one time and found 8 or 9 villagers inside who would not leave and also would not shut up. The boys dug a hole in the floor and buried the villagers, so they wouldn't have to listen to them anymore. :O

I'm trying to plan a brief Lake Tahoe getaway before my son's school starts up, and at this late date... who knew so many cabin rental places would be these flaky arrangements where you can't just book online, but have to play email tag with the owners instead? Meanwhile, I'm getting nervous and the prices are going up. I mean, I'm looking at this coming Thursday! Argh.

Still, hoping to pull it off. Hiking for my son and me, enough water/shops/etc. for my daughter compared to the place in the mountains where we like to camp, and ideally a chance for us all to relax together and read a lot of books. :)

Or viewing entertainment has included The Avengers, which was new to me but not my husband and son. Unpopular opinion alertCollapse )

HalfshellHusband and I saw Mr. Holmes this past weekend, and let me just thank whoever gave Ian McKellan such a marvelous role at this stage in his career. :)

I also finished The Devil's Detective, started writing a Battle Creek fanfic that I didn't finish (for the fandom so small that there are no communities for it here or at Dreamwidth), rewatched another episode of that show to recapture some inspiration, floated massive "Organize the House!" thoughts that did not bear fruit, and went to the library to gather supplies for my son against the coming weekend. Not as many books as the weight of my bookbag implied, but several were "grown up" books in attempt to... slow his rate of consumption? Something.

All right, my little chickadees, time to fly!

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
20 July 2015 @ 11:04 pm
I got my bicycle back about 8 days ago, and I rode a ton last week to make up for lost time. More than 75 miles in the first three days, then a day off followed by another 75-ish miles in the next three days. Finally! \o/

At home, we lost our air-conditioning during a heat wave last week. It always takes a couple of days to notice that the house isn't cooling down, and that the vents seem to be blowing not-really-cold air. By that time, you can't get a spot on the repair-guy's schedule. Fixed today, and apparently caused by a surge after two power blackouts last week. Thanks, SMUD. :(

We're still watching Breaking Bad (now in early S3), still rewatching Fringe (Oh, S2 plot-arc for Charlie—I still wish that hadn't happened), and HalfshellHusband and I are watching Poldark. Poldark is a period soap-opera, really, more obvious now than when I watched the original in my mid-teens. Still, the star is SO handsome. Wow. Uncle Poldark is highly distracting, though. My first thought was that he reminded me of John Noble, but the second and enduring thought was that he is the personification of the Frog Footman from Alice In Wonderland. Yikes.

I wrote two Battle Creek fanfics in the last couple of weeks. I'd planned not to, but the characterization and voices written by the most prolific fanfic author are just so "off" to me that I couldn't help myself. Also, some useful prompts came up at writerverse.

I've finished reading The Ghost Shift (drama/mystery set in modern China), and that Terry Pratchett book, and have started The Devil's Detective (bleak but interesting, and yes—a mystery set in Hell) and The Boy Who Lost Fairyland. That second one is my bedtime book, and not a great choice for that. It's fully of rich, weird detail and wry humor, and I find that kind of thing challenging to fully absorb late at night. Mainly, I'm afraid I might be missing something! The little asides that flow by include things like stone carvings featuring "stunningly suited people who have plain faces and are wearing coats with more buttons than anyone needs," or a little troll despairing of the shabby nightgown he was kidnapped in and thinking that he'd have worn something nicer if he'd known he was going to meet the Post Office.

Now, have some links on a common theme. From my f-list, a crabby and petulant poem by Pluto (can you blame it?). From coworkers to whom I showed the poem, a t-shirt-style picture, and a mini-video that is both adorable and sad at once. Awwww... All so very fitting!

All right, tomorrow's early-morning meeting means I need to get to bed, but at least I've updated first. :D

ETA: I have the Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden" stuck in my head now for unknown reasons, and somehow I feel as if someone should pay for that. :(

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Secret Prize
Fandom: Battle Creek
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Milt Chamberlain/Russ Agnew (Slash)
Rating: PG
Summary: It was always inevitable that something like that was going to involve a dare.
Author's Notes: For writerverse, and the prompt of, "I Think I'll Be Evil Today."


Russ had always hated the yearly fundraising carnival. The stupid games and screaming kids were bad enough, but working a booth made him feel like some kind of circus attraction. Police officers needed the community's respect to do their jobs well, and putting on a clown costume or running the ring-toss game did not exactly further that.

What it did was help the budget. A department that couldn't pay for a decent supply of batteries needed all the help it could get. That mean Russ and all the other off-duty members of the Battle Creek PD had to show up at the downtown park once a year and humiliate themselves for money.

At least this year, he wasn't working the dunk tank.

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Stakeout Serenade
Fandom: Battle Creek
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: Milt, Russ (Gen or pre-Slash)
Rating: PG
Summary: When it comes to Russ, Milt is always going to poke the bear.
Author's Notes: For writerverse, and the prompt of "Watching the Stars."


"This street is so dark, you can see all kinds of stars," Milt said.

"Just as long as Joe Garrett can't see us," Russ said. "This Bureau truck is pretty conspicuous. Should've taken my car."

"Your car has junk food wrappers in it," Milt said.

"Sometimes." Russ squinted at the bushes lining the front of the house they had under surveillance. "I cleaned it."

"Did you now?" Milt smiled like he'd won something, and Russ wanted to slug him. "Still, it's great to have these big windows on a night like this, for the view. You used to be a poet—I'll bet you wrote something about stars, once."

Russ scowled into his coffee cup. "God, not that again."

Milt gestured out toward the night. "It's a shame, really. If you'd lived someplace like New York or California, maybe you'd have had someone to encourage your talents."

"Maybe I would have had a teacher who could keep her mouth shut," Russ muttered

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
08 July 2015 @ 01:42 pm
Starting to feel edgy due to not bicycling since last Friday. Restless! I rode the gym bike yesterday for over an hour, and that place is so hot that my shirt was wringable afterwards. Yuck. Also, the seat-tilt is non-adjustable, so I not only feel as if I'm slowly sliding downhill, my tailbone goes numb. HOW much longer? New parts aren't due to arrive at the bike shop for a few more days as it is. *chews fist*

The day after the whole incident, bruises popped up everywhere in places that didn't even hurt! Wish I could cover them up, but it's too hot for pants or long sleeves, so they're attracting some attention at work. Most people correctly guess that falling off the bike was involved. Some of them have probably had similar injuries over the years. :O

Speaking of bruisable things, a poll:

Poll #2016394 Poll-poll, bo-boll, banana-fanna fo-foll...

How do YOU eat bananas?

Peel 'em and dive right in. They're prepackaged.
Tear off pieces, to avoid simian connotations.
Tear off pieces, to avoid sexual connotations.
Tear off pieces, or how else will I know where the banana strings are?
WTF, banana strings?
You mean those waxy things?
The really thin strings are a little softer than celery strings, but sneakier.
I almost choked on a banana string, once.
I slice bananas into a bowl and eat them with a fork. Don't judge me!
Banana! Banana!
Bapple! :D
Minions! \o/

And for my current obsession, let me point you to this outstanding Walter/Jesse Breaking Bad story:

Classless, by porkchop_sandwiches. Mostly early S3 (so watch for spoilers), hot and wry and funny and angsty and fabulous. Both characters are really well-written, in this under-canon plot that feels both possible and true. Don't worry about the first chapter, I promise you'll be safe. :)

Okay, back to work. Poking registers, reviewing code-changes, and wishing the hydra-like bug situation would just roll over and die already. Sucks to be the middleman between hardware and testers. /o\

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
05 July 2015 @ 11:33 pm
My bicycle is in the shop, owing to a minor accident—well, minor for me, less for the bike. It started when my foot slipped out of the pedal while drinking water, and things got kind of brakeless. I tried to stay on the bike path, but veered off the edge and crashed. Not terribly hard, NOT over the side of the hill, and not as fast as it could have been. No broken bones, just a stinging and bleeding arm and a scraped hip. The bike looked okay, and I thought it was good to ride, but I'd bent the chain ring on it. I'd have gone the whole rest of my planned distance otherwise, but instead rode carefully back home while managing the gears so the chain didn't slip off.

The cut on my arm was deeper than I thought, but... eh. Not worth waiting around at the E.R. for a couple of stitches, and it'll scar anyway. No, the really harsh part was taking the bike to the shop and discovering I need a whole new crank set that has to be special-ordered. Bikeless for a week. Ugh. There was also the usual harassment about, "You sure put a lot of miles on this thing. Boy, these gears are really worn" for about ten minutes before the guy (ALL the guys) admitted that they tend to do the same because they don't want to be without a bike for more than 2 days either. Ahem.

So. :(

In other news, since I haven't posted forever... we saw Mad Max: Fury Road on Father's Day (stylistic, ridiculous, adrenaline-charged and hugely entertaining), Chappie last weekend on DVD ("off" in a lot of ways, and depressing rather than fun), and I finished a couple of books. The Lost Boys Symphony was really intriguing: schizophrenia, time-travel, and the bonds of friendship. I also read Never Go Back, a Jack Reacher novel I hadn't planned on starting just yet, but it came up as unrenewable last week, so I dived into it. A good read, as always. Next up: The Ghost Shift (already vetted by my son!), and The Boy Who Lost Fairyland (ditto). I swear I will finish The Fifth Elephant soon, and stem the backlog of books in the "to read" pile. They're multiplying about twice as fast as I read them. :(

We've been watching more Breaking Bad, and are now in Season 2. Man, the writing on that show is good. I like the shading within the characters (Hank, for instance, so unexpected), and I kind of fell in love with Walter's son with his first line about the breakfast 'facon' tasting "like bandaids." I also started to really see the attraction of Walter/Jesse slash, even or especially the dirty-bad-wrong kind, and after spotting a couple of pictures like

this one,

it totally amplified. That pic is a manip, but I didn't realize it at first, and Zing! Damn, now I'm staying up until all hours and reading Breaking Bad RPF, and it has a solid hold on me. Walter and Jesse (and Bryan and Aaron) forever! Don't judge me. :O

ETA: Just found this Bryan & Aaron vid, which was adorable. *happy sigh*

The Fourth was great, although hot, and we spent it as we always do, visiting my brother's family for BBQ and a fireworks homeshow, and then driving the hour back home and coming up on Sacramento with fireworks going off in various spots all over the city. There's something elating about that—it really feels like a celebration.

So, I hope all of you 'Mericans had a great Fourth, and that nobody else is sweltering quite like we are. Though I hear the Pac NW is not doing much better. Gah. Too much summer.

The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Silver Linings
Fandom: Die Hard 4
Author: HalfshellVenus
Characters: John McClane, Matthew Farrell (Gen or pre-Slash)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: You can forget that not all surprises are bad.
Author's Notes: For the writerverse prompt of "Response."


John McClane had a very simple plan for life: Don't fuck up, and keep moving forward. The reality was harder to pin down, maybe something closer to Fuck up less, and Just keep moving. That was hard enough. He'd been a cop with a troubled marriage who became an overnight hero, then a disciplinary problem, then a hero again, then an attitudinal headcase-turned-hero. Now he was still years away from retirement (assuming he didn't get killed first) and still doing grunt work like picking up some kid in Jersey on the say-so of someone too far above his pay grade to even bother telling him Why.

He'd nearly been blown up within minutes of knocking on the kid's door, which was some kind of personal record, and shot at for the better part of a day. The clincher was when he actually shot himself.

It'd be great to say that nothing like that had ever happened before, but it wouldn't be true. The kid was new—thank God for the kid—and so was taking down a helicopter with a car. But the rest was the kind of craziness that made John focus on mottoes and shit in the hope of keeping his life under some kind of control.

As far as he could tell, it had never worked.

Finally, at the end of one of the worst days of his life, he found himself inviting the kid to come stay with him while they both recovered from their injuries. Blame the painkillers, maybe, because while John would start a gunfight at the drop of a hat, he wasn't the type to extend himself long-term for much of anyone. Hey, that "charity" shit would kill you.

Still, he'd done it anyway, and the kid had actually said yes. It had been a long time since John had been so goddamn happy to hear a Yes.

The two of them living in his apartment for weeks or months might be awkward and inconvenient, and yet John was totally looking forward to it.

Planning, he had finally decided, was overrated.


The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
Title: Charon, In Reverse
Fandom: Pushing Daisies
Author: HalfshellVenus
Character: The Coroner
Rating: PG
Summary: It had never been a dull job, and now it was weirder than ever.
Author's Notes: For the writerverse "Character Spotlight" to focus on a secondary character.


There was a possibility that Crazy Mofo was not an actual profession, just as there was a possibility (slim) that college tuition for the coroner's granddaughter might cost less than the GNP of several sub-Saharan African nations. The coroner was a man of science, however, and he preferred facts and simpler interpretations of reality.

The reality was this: Detective Mofo and his cohorts were straight-up nuts, but they were good at solving crimes and they also knew the value of cold, hard, tax-free cash.

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The Coalition For Disturbing Metaphors
16 June 2015 @ 12:43 pm
I was out bicycling early enough on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday to keep from overheating (highs of 96-102 all three days), and Sunday I actually ran all 5 of my target miles—for the first time in a month. It'll be heating up again midweek here, but despite last week's awfulness, it has been a fairly mild spring compared to the usual.

The side-effects of losing the Whale-cat have become really evident over the last year. There are multiple squirrel families here now (one over my home office, where I hope the skittery sounds I hear on the roof are... anything but rats, really), and a lot more birds in the backyard. The Whale would be outside much of the day and all night, and his presence clearly was noted. But now? Our current kitty doesn't seem to want to go out much during the day, and is only threatening to string, rubber bands, and biteable pieces of paper.

So, last week we had a sudden influx of Northern California magpies in the backyard. These are plump, large-ish birds with pretty coloring, and they soon clustered at the top of the decorative fountain and started yakking:

Bird 1: What do you suppose this is?
Bird 2: Looks like a very small set of streams. Strange.
Bird 1: That's what I was thinking. My feet are certainly wet.
Bird 3: But what's the rest of it? These aren't rocks or pebbles. I don't know what they are...

At this point, the cat raised her head and spotted all of this going on outside. So, like any pet owner, I tried to make the situation worse:

"Look at that! It's happening right in your own yard, and what are you doing about it? Huh? They're out there stomping around like they own the place, and they're touching your stuff!"

The cat just looked aghast, which totally made that worth my while. ;)

In other news, I've finished Egg And Spoon, and have started The Lost Boys Symphony. TV-wise, we're re-watching Fringe (and I'd hoped to get my son interested, because WALTER! But he hasn't taken the bait). We're also giving Breaking Bad a chance, and wow—that pilot episode was genius. I'd ordered it via Netflix years ago, but HalfshellHusband auto-vetoed it on arrival as he was going through cancer treatments himself and just was not in the mood for that plus the show being centered around drugs.

Moviewise, we tried out Welcome To The Punch via Netflix streaming, mainly for the cast (James McAvoy, Mark Strong). Good, mindless entertainment. The visuals in the first 10 minutes are striking—great use of light and color, very clean-looking. That was one of the things I liked about the middle of John Wick, too—beautiful filmwork in an unexpected setting.

All right, back to work. Hope you've all been doing well, and have either vacationed or are looking forward to one over the summer!